₦airaland Forum

There is a thin line between your anger and full-blown madness. Just reread some of the insults you hurled at someone who is supposed to be your wife. I dey vex well well o, but I mind my words when speaking to a loved one.

You keep insulting a loved one and expect her to remain in love with you? It's pure madness! You must be mentally disturbed! You even called her a mistake. You deserve to suffer as a single man for 600 years. I like the support her family has given her against your abusive behavior.

Change your attitude before going to apologize to her and her family. If you think she would come back to beg to be verbally trashed by you, wake up bro. She wouldn't mind starting life with a more loving person either virtually or anywhere.

Pride, anger, disrespect and jealousy war against marital love. You have all of these, sadly.

I always feel ashame of sharing dis generation with idiots like op. It's high time we start asking some fathers the kind of training they gave to their male child/children.
We now hv too many weakling, boys in men skin, girls in boys skin. Where did we get it wrong? Is it civilization? Or social media?
Just take a very good look at what a so called boy wrote up their, being depressed bcs of ur wife? Damn damn damn

Foolish man.
Why you dey cry?
Why not go and face her father and brother like a man if banger dey your head?

Nonsense!

You asked her to leave, she did.
Now that your ego wey swell like goat blokus don sag!

Ishilove:
Was probably avoiding your abusive, nagging tongue. God knows what she has endured in the name of marriage

I swear.
A man nagging?!
Na those kind arm robbers dey shoot for mouth.
They scream more than their wives.

breakthrough22:
I didn't chase her away ,She did herself .If she doesn't come back,I will move on .I will always be there to help financially

You just revealed her chat with you up there

You abused her verbally

Razed her self-esteem to the floor. Who knows how long she endured.

You need to work on yourself man.

Dont get me wrong she's not without fault

breakthrough22:
Good evenning ,

I came back home from work this night to find out my wife and my son have packed and abandoned me .

My son is 4 years old and I really don't mean to hurt my wife .

She travelled on the 26th of December to her dad house here in Lagos .I missed her so much and I sent her money to come back last Saturday though she said she will be coming on Sunday only for me to call her between 2pm and 8pm without her picking the call .

The phone rang times without number .I later gave the last try and the no was busy answering other call .She later picked and said there was no light .So,she couldn't charge. I was mad because the excuse was too flimsy .I challenged her to tell her but your phone rang .I was mad and I lost trust in her that moment and flashed back to the excuse that she will not come on Saturday.

Seriously ,I was angry and different thoughts came to my mind like May be she went to see another man .

That hour ,I told her I don't want to see her again .I was angry though .She didn't come on Sunday. She came back very early yesterday which was Monday.

I will not lie ,I have been so angry ,ranting and telling her to go back to her parent house that I don't trust her again.

To my surprise ,I came back tonight and she already packed all her loads ,packed my son things without leaving any thing .Her wardrobe and my son wardrobe have been empty as I am typing .She packed everything .

Seriously ,I am depressed cos I love her .I love my son .I can't even allow him to stay over there to start schooling. Me and my wife have been together since 2013 .We have gone through a lot of difficulties together and now ,things are beginning to look good for us .I am so down right now .I called he dad and her brother .It is like they took that decision together .

I have never beaten her before but I do nag especially when bills are weighing me down .His dad and his brother was just shouting at me .Fear of been a single dad or living alone at this stage of my life will make me a walking ghost and the fact that ,I really love my son too and also my wife too will one day kill me .

Imagine ,that Saturday she changed what she saved my no with and saved with my son name.I attached my call history .Check the image of the missed calls.

Please what do I do?I am devastated .


Some of her chats this night ..

[1/10, 9:35 PM] SWEETHEART: Hv always endure with u even though u did not hv money,but u always rain insult on me everyday .am not coming back I want to work and make my own money,u said u hv never achieved anything good bcoz of me!u said I am your biggest mistake in life and now hv made up my mind with you.you pushed me to the wall!u make me carry luggage in the hot sun and cry ,am tired,I cried and cried and endure all bcoz of love so nao am ready to work and earn good for myself and my son.
[1/10, 9:40 PM] SWEETHEART: U can change ur key am not coming again
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: Am not ,u know is too late for me to come back to .... and u urself know is my biggest fear bcoz I don't like coming here but u make me come back,is too late. Even wen u always tell me to go,I will still wait but u make me come back to my fear It is too late.
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: ...will start school on Monday here and just take responsibility of it, if u don't want to loose ur son too.

What I can say is that you have anger management issues

A journey of a life time, you are already frustrating the journey

The most precious thing or people you have on earth, you are frustrating them with emotional abuse, yet you want to keep them as family

You need a marriage counselor, all she need is to accompany you so that she will witness the counseling that will be given to you

By the time you get another woman that is just as your behavior, you will run down to your wife and pack her things back

Whats wrong with you, that you are making her shuttling your home and her father's home

If she continues this way, she may end up with another man who will give her peace and if that happens,

Blame yourself

breakthrough22:
Good evenning ,

I came back home from work this night to find out my wife and my son have packed and abandoned me .

My son is 4 years old and I really don't mean to hurt my wife .

She travelled on the 26th of December to her dad house here in Lagos .I missed her so much and I sent her money to come back last Saturday though she said she will be coming on Sunday only for me to call her between 2pm and 8pm without her picking the call .

The phone rang times without number .I later gave the last try and the no was busy answering other call .She later picked and said there was no light .So,she couldn't charge. I was mad because the excuse was too flimsy .I challenged her to tell her but your phone rang .I was mad and I lost trust in her that moment and flashed back to the excuse that she will not come on Saturday.

Seriously ,I was angry and different thoughts came to my mind like May be she went to see another man .

That hour ,I told her I don't want to see her again .I was angry though .She didn't come on Sunday. She came back very early yesterday which was Monday.

I will not lie ,I have been so angry ,ranting and telling her to go back to her parent house that I don't trust her again.

To my surprise ,I came back tonight and she already packed all her loads ,packed my son things without leaving any thing .Her wardrobe and my son wardrobe have been empty as I am typing .She packed everything .

Seriously ,I am depressed cos I love her .I love my son .I can't even allow him to stay over there to start schooling. Me and my wife have been together since 2013 .We have gone through a lot of difficulties together and now ,things are beginning to look good for us .I am so down right now .I called he dad and her brother .It is like they took that decision together .

I have never beaten her before but I do nag especially when bills are weighing me down .His dad and his brother was just shouting at me .Fear of been a single dad or living alone at this stage of my life will make me a walking ghost and the fact that ,I really love my son too and also my wife too will one day kill me .

Imagine ,that Saturday she changed what she saved my no with and saved with my son name.I attached my call history .Check the image of the missed calls.

Please what do I do?I am devastated .


Some of her chats this night ..

[1/10, 9:35 PM] SWEETHEART: Hv always endure with u even though u did not hv money,but u always rain insult on me everyday .am not coming back I want to work and make my own money,u said u hv never achieved anything good bcoz of me!u said I am your biggest mistake in life and now hv made up my mind with you.you pushed me to the wall!u make me carry luggage in the hot sun and cry ,am tired,I cried and cried and endure all bcoz of love so nao am ready to work and earn good for myself and my son.
[1/10, 9:40 PM] SWEETHEART: U can change ur key am not coming again
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: Am not ,u know is too late for me to come back to .... and u urself know is my biggest fear bcoz I don't like coming here but u make me come back,is too late. Even wen u always tell me to go,I will still wait but u make me come back to my fear It is too late.
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: ...will start school on Monday here and just take responsibility of it, if u don't want to loose ur son too.

Bro, I feel ur pain but anger, shutting and nagging does not solve problems at home but rather add more salt to injury. I m married for more than 12 years with 3kids. At times shit does happened, transferring transgression to ur loves is the worse thing that can happen to som1. From u words u re wrong completely, truth be told. You get irritated or angrily easily . You wife is a good woman who have endured your shenanigans forever. But this times she cant take it no longer. The best advise I can give to u as my friend or brother, if u want her back just admit u re wrong, apologize to her and work on ur self completely.

U sent ur wife parking, u are now playing the victim card.

breakthrough22:
If she stays too long in her father house,I will never accept her back .

Seriously, I have missed my family but I am not accepting her back if she spend the remaining days in January in his dad house and I will never send a dime to them

You see with this decision you made here eh! You will end up a very sad, angry and lonely man. I also noticed you always like to be in control. Marriage is not like that. Even if she says for three month bear responsibility for your son! Imagine saying you won't send them a dime. Very immature to be honest.

Op , was she a virgin when you met her?

Sorry for your predicament.....find a way to see how to reconcile with them by involving family members..
Read this article and be well guided..
https://www.pentanew.com/2023/01/11/common-causes-of-depression-you-may-be-living-with-and-how-to-cure-them/#

God be with you.

Skyview01:
I love my wife so much but if she parks out of my house.

I am changing the keys and locks in the house immediately and it will be a long distance relationship until she request to come back.

Op, you have a lot of work to do on yourself and self esteem.

This is nt d kind of advice d Op needs now, be more realistic biko

You told her to go ,she obeyed her husband and you still came here to rant.

Let her go where she is valued.My ex had caustic mouth like you and I showed him my back.
Ppl like you kill self esteem until their partner hates their self and feels worthless

Tueh

WhoDeyHause:
Just forget about her. She has found someone new.

You have a point.The anger of a woman....!

Okay, now I get it.
This is why ANGER and INSECURITY IS BAD FOR MARRIAGE.

LadyRosa:
I swear.
A man nagging?!
Na those kind arm robbers dey shoot for mouth.
They scream more than their wives.

Chinchin Dey yr head

Bros anger no fit boil water, make you dey calm down bros. If you no calm down you dey play with your health and that's HBP for you. See try to start practicing meditation from now on. It will help you to still your mind and it will solve your anger issues.

For your wife matter I will suggest you free her for now. Give her some space, I'm sure you have said lots of hurty words to her and words are more powerful than a piercing sword. As time goes on she will come around. Free her for some months, maybe 3 months. Let her be, don't call her or her family but send upkeep for your kid. That alone God will be blessing you more and more.

It's the law of nature. No look her mama way. You aren't fighting with the child. If she doesn't come around after 3 months of freeing her If she insists she will never come back that means it's time for you to move on but work on your anger issues. It's affecting your mental health.

If you don't learn to work on your anger issues you will keep loosing women. No woman will live with a psycho. Make you no go stab am one day. Work on your emotions, as a man you don't even have to love your wife that much. Women don't love men, it's you guys that don't understand. Learn to control your emotions by loving yourself only and your child too. Forget getting emotional with women. It doesn't make sense mate.

Some words cut deeper than knife. You're a verbally abusive husband. Fix yourself before you try fixing your marriage. Get help with your incessant nagging and anger issues...

Jashub:
Op, forget her and move on . When hunger and shame torture her she'll come crawling back. Secondly , it won't be easy for her to find someone willing to marry her and bear the burden of carrying the financial responsibility of her son .

Lol...Infact , I pity this woman . She's deluded and doesn't know that being a single mother is the worst sentence a woman can give herself in this harsh economy.

Na too much Nollywood dey cause all this nonsense. She think say they go write 10 years later and then everywhere go turn stew

Olosho to the rescue

The way people are quick to say " forget about her" on this forum means just one thing. That is, most people commenting are kids. Sorry if my comment offends you.

WhoDeyHause:
Just forget about her. She has found someone new.

I doubt your age, for you to just say that

breakthrough22:
Good evenning ,

I came back home from work this night to find out my wife and my son have packed and abandoned me .

My son is 4 years old and I really don't mean to hurt my wife .

She travelled on the 26th of December to her dad house here in Lagos .I missed her so much and I sent her money to come back last Saturday though she said she will be coming on Sunday only for me to call her between 2pm and 8pm without her picking the call .

The phone rang times without number .I later gave the last try and the no was busy answering other call .She later picked and said there was no light .So,she couldn't charge. I was mad because the excuse was too flimsy .I challenged her to tell her but your phone rang .I was mad and I lost trust in her that moment and flashed back to the excuse that she will not come on Saturday.

Seriously ,I was angry and different thoughts came to my mind like May be she went to see another man .

That hour ,I told her I don't want to see her again .I was angry though .She didn't come on Sunday. She came back very early yesterday which was Monday.

I will not lie ,I have been so angry ,ranting and telling her to go back to her parent house that I don't trust her again.

To my surprise ,I came back tonight and she already packed all her loads ,packed my son things without leaving any thing .Her wardrobe and my son wardrobe have been empty as I am typing .She packed everything .

Seriously ,I am depressed cos I love her .I love my son .I can't even allow him to stay over there to start schooling. Me and my wife have been together since 2013 .We have gone through a lot of difficulties together and now ,things are beginning to look good for us .I am so down right now .I called he dad and her brother .It is like they took that decision together .

I have never beaten her before but I do nag especially when bills are weighing me down .His dad and his brother was just shouting at me .Fear of been a single dad or living alone at this stage of my life will make me a walking ghost and the fact that ,I really love my son too and also my wife too will one day kill me .

Imagine ,that Saturday she changed what she saved my no with and saved with my son name.I attached my call history .Check the image of the missed calls.

Please what do I do?I am devastated .


Some of her chats this night ..

[1/10, 9:35 PM] SWEETHEART: Hv always endure with u even though u did not hv money,but u always rain insult on me everyday .am not coming back I want to work and make my own money,u said u hv never achieved anything good bcoz of me!u said I am your biggest mistake in life and now hv made up my mind with you.you pushed me to the wall!u make me carry luggage in the hot sun and cry ,am tired,I cried and cried and endure all bcoz of love so nao am ready to work and earn good for myself and my son.
[1/10, 9:40 PM] SWEETHEART: U can change ur key am not coming again
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: Am not ,u know is too late for me to come back to .... and u urself know is my biggest fear bcoz I don't like coming here but u make me come back,is too late. Even wen u always tell me to go,I will still wait but u make me come back to my fear It is too late.
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: ...will start school on Monday here and just take responsibility of it, if u don't want to loose ur son too.

I couldn't read everything but I saw the word ,"angry" at least 5 times. Work on your temperament if you want to continue to live with this woman

Armstrong you have to be strong

breakthrough22:
Good evenning ,

I came back home from work this night to find out my wife and my son have packed and abandoned me .

My son is 4 years old and I really don't mean to hurt my wife .

She travelled on the 26th of December to her dad house here in Lagos .I missed her so much and I sent her money to come back last Saturday though she said she will be coming on Sunday only for me to call her between 2pm and 8pm without her picking the call .

The phone rang times without number .I later gave the last try and the no was busy answering other call .She later picked and said there was no light .So,she couldn't charge. I was mad because the excuse was too flimsy .I challenged her to tell her but your phone rang .I was mad and I lost trust in her that moment and flashed back to the excuse that she will not come on Saturday.

Seriously ,I was angry and different thoughts came to my mind like May be she went to see another man .

That hour ,I told her I don't want to see her again .I was angry though .She didn't come on Sunday. She came back very early yesterday which was Monday.

I will not lie ,I have been so angry ,ranting and telling her to go back to her parent house that I don't trust her again.

To my surprise ,I came back tonight and she already packed all her loads ,packed my son things without leaving any thing .Her wardrobe and my son wardrobe have been empty as I am typing .She packed everything .

Seriously ,I am depressed cos I love her .I love my son .I can't even allow him to stay over there to start schooling. Me and my wife have been together since 2013 .We have gone through a lot of difficulties together and now ,things are beginning to look good for us .I am so down right now .I called he dad and her brother .It is like they took that decision together .

I have never beaten her before but I do nag especially when bills are weighing me down .His dad and his brother was just shouting at me .Fear of been a single dad or living alone at this stage of my life will make me a walking ghost and the fact that ,I really love my son too and also my wife too will one day kill me .

Imagine ,that Saturday she changed what she saved my no with and saved with my son name.I attached my call history .Check the image of the missed calls.

Please what do I do?I am devastated .


Some of her chats this night ..

[1/10, 9:35 PM] SWEETHEART: Hv always endure with u even though u did not hv money,but u always rain insult on me everyday .am not coming back I want to work and make my own money,u said u hv never achieved anything good bcoz of me!u said I am your biggest mistake in life and now hv made up my mind with you.you pushed me to the wall!u make me carry luggage in the hot sun and cry ,am tired,I cried and cried and endure all bcoz of love so nao am ready to work and earn good for myself and my son.
[1/10, 9:40 PM] SWEETHEART: U can change ur key am not coming again
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: Am not ,u know is too late for me to come back to .... and u urself know is my biggest fear bcoz I don't like coming here but u make me come back,is too late. Even wen u always tell me to go,I will still wait but u make me come back to my fear It is too late.
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: ...will start school on Monday here and just take responsibility of it, if u don't want to loose ur son too.

I had similar experience with my living in Ex GF, I was going through some financial difficulty to extent I started being aggressive towards her, she later left me...

I learnt and later saw therapist, I was able to manage things even when I'm financially down, I just don't let it get into my head and always have this positive mindset towards every financial challenges I come through...

Now, I don't react to things immediately, my advice is, try see things from positive angle and you also need to deal with your insecurity...

Please Vote for PETER OBI for a better Nigeria

God bless you

Mr. man do you want to hear the truth or gibberish from people whose homes are not tidy itself? Concentrate on your son, hire a good lawyer, go to court and sue for custody. In Nigeria, the father gets to keep the child 90% of the time especially if the child is no longer a baby. Why did I say forget the woman? It is simple, she can be a nice lovely wife but her family's behavior is unacceptable. A good parent would call the husband over and find ways to resolve the issues not pour kerosene on it!

See, it is clear that they don't rate you and the best you can do is be a man and not show weakness in this situation. Yes you have anger issue, yes you said hurtful words but a wife that cannot discern the difference between anger and hate deserves to be single. Give her what she wants, time at her father's house but make sure you fight for your son, nothing more, nothing less.....RUBBISH!

You be mumu, instead of you to go to her father's house and apologize to her, if you loved her as claimed.
Put yourself in her shoes, can you take what you are doing to her.
You can encourage her to start little business if you want her to be making money to support the family.
I am a married man, enjoying my marriage.
If you marry another woman, your eyes will open and appreciate your first wife.