It has been observed that many more crises are taking place in families nowadays. One of them is our focus here.

Many wives and children now abandon their husbands after the men retire. Some turn children against their fathers while some wives plan to kill their husbands so as to inherit their husband properties.

Why is it that wives want their husbands dead so as to inherit them? Why is it that when husbands are sicks WIves always try to know what is in the wills of their husbands? Why do wives abandon their husbands at the old age and pack to another apartment? Why do wives want to be in control of their husbands at the old age! Why do families crack when the old age is about to set in .

A man was abandoned by his wives and children so much so that he was crying for help in his apartment. When thean died the children slaughtered cows and painted the house.What do you think about this development? What is happening in the families now?

Because Men abandoned women during their youthful days chasing girls in the name of sidechicks.
So it's the responsibility of the chicks to look after the Men when their old age rocks.

Very bad, not all families though.

A lot of married old couples are still enjoying each other till death, I know about one, but the husband is very subservient to the woman for peace to reign in the house.

As for children abandoning their Dads at old age after going through hell to raise them is very bad.

Choilila:
Because Men abandoned women during their youthful days chasing girls in the name of sidechicks.
So it's the responsibility of the chicks to look after the Men when their old age rocks.

Unreasonable response.

God1000:
Very bad, not all families though.

A lot of married old couples are still enjoying each other till death, I know about one, but the husband becomes very subservient to the woman for peace to reign in the house.

As for children abandoning their Dads at old age after training them in school is very unfair.

For kids to abandon fathers is unfair but very common.
I was telling one dude the same thing but he just kept arguing blindly.

It is happening because it is the natural course of things in life, and there are bio-social reasons for it.
If there is any FIRM strike against monogamy, this is it.
In my ancestral Igboland, a man married as he aged.
Example, at 20 year old, he married his first wife who may be 15/16 yrs old.
At his 30 birthday, he married another woman... and so on until he gets to about 60-70 yrs old when he married a woman that (in Igbo language we say) "ga ene ya nka" (that would take care of him in old age). Go and see in the Bible where king David did exactly the same thing.
But today, clueless men herd other clueless men into a clueless marriage system that is almost anti-men, only to get discarded and abused in their old age.
This is why I keep advocating for a return to the ancestral Igbo marriage system by the Igbo.
Euro-monogamy comes with things you cannot handle.
When my beloved uncle died alone after raising children but was abandoned in old age, the handwriting on the wall became bright red for us his male relatives.
Argue with yourself if you like!

I'm sure if the man was a good husband and father to his children, they will not abandon him in old age.
Sow love, care and kindness now that you're a young husband and father.

all4zionlover:
I'm sure if the man was a good husband and father to his children, they will not abandon him in old age.
Sow love, care and kindness now that you're a young husband and father.

This is not always true. At all.
In fact I've seen quite a few cases where this happened and the men involved where EXCELLENT fathers and husbands.
The problem is natural.
Monogamy has a reductionist demand on men that is impossible to meet. A women for example would want to avenge the fact that her husband looked at another woman 30 yrs ago! It is not that the man looked at another woman. It is that she is looking for a pretext to abandon him in old age!
A man gets married and at first controls 90% love and admiration. But as he ages, and he keeps investing in his wife and kids, he gradually drains himself of that love and admiration because he empowers them while he dis-empowers himself.
Over time, he would be lucky if he controlled 10% love and admiration.
How does love and admiration come about? Through MATERIAL THINGS: money, properties, etc.
Once he depletes all that and the kids grow up, the wife becomes "free" of the kids, and since he is sexually emptied as well for his wife, he loses everything and gets abandoned.
Life is NOT sentimental.
That is why a smart man must plan ahead and keep his materials very close to himself until his old age.
With those materials firmly under his control, he would retain love and admiration whether his wife and kids like him or not, or else ...

Choilila:
Because Men abandoned women during their youthful days chasing girls in the name of sidechicks.
So it's the responsibility of the chicks to look after the Men when their old age rocks.

Them never see anything

ejimatic:
It has been observed that many more crises are taking place in families nowadays. One of them is our focus here. Many wives and children now abandon their husbands after the men retire. Some turn children against their fathers while some wives plan to kill their husbands so as to inherit their husband properties. Why is it that wives want their husbands husbands dead so as to inherit them? Why is it that when husbands are sicks WIves always try to know what is in the wills of their husbands? Why do wives abandon their husbands at the old age and pack to another apartment? Why do wives want to be in control of their husbands at the old age! Why do families crack when the old age is about to set in . A man was abandoned by his wives and children so much so that he was crying for help in his apartment. When thean died the children slaughtered cows and painted the house.What do you think about this development? What is happening in the families now?

Abuse and unhealthy mental states, are part of the reasons wives and children abandon their husbands and fathers in old age.

ekitimanalways:


Abuse and unhealthy mental states, are part of the reasons wives and children abandon their husbands and father's at old age.

. Very outrageous!

ejimatic:
. Very outrageous!

For some old men, they are being repaid for abusing the power and control they had over their wives and children.

Mindlog:


For some old men, they are being repaid for abusing the power and control they had over their wives and children.

true

ChybuzzDD:


Unreasonable response.

Very reasonable response.
Don't expect your children to cling to you when you are old ,esp when you didn’t cling to them in your prime.

Because he abandoned us with our sick late mother and now he is only reaping what he sowed. He will suffer until his last day on earth.

Narcissistic people have good skills to Bleep everyone and then act like victims.

If your entire family abandons you, you probably have been the biggest asshole to them.

yomi007k:


For kids to abandon fathers is unfair but very common.
I was telling one dude the same thing but he just kept arguing blindly.

what u should know is that old age is payback time for women n children to men


That’s is when u will reap whatever u have done as a man in your youthful days, all those shits u did n walk away with it that’s when u will reap it n if u were a good man, that’s when to enjoy cos your sacrifices are I’ll b remembered n u will b compensated for that

You reap what you sow.

Hehehe

onumadu:


This is not always true. At all.
In fact I've seen quite a few cases where this happened and the men involved where EXCELLENT fathers and husbands.
The problem is natural.
Monogamy has a reductionist demand on men that is impossible to meet. A women for example would want to avenge the fact that her husband looked at another woman 30 yrs ago! It is not that the man looked at another woman. It is that she is looking for a pretext to abandon him in old age!
A man gets married and at first controls 90% love and admiration. But as he ages, and he keeps investing in his wife and kids, he gradually drains himself of that love and admiration because he empowers them while he dis-empowers himself.
Over time, he would be lucky if he controlled 10% love and admiration.
How does love and admiration come about? Through MATERIAL THINGS: money, properties, etc.
Once he depletes all that and the kids grow up, the wife becomes "free" of the kids, and since he is sexually emptied as well for his wife, he loses everything and gets abandoned.
Life is NOT sentimental.
That is why a smart man must plan ahead and keep his materials very close to himself until his old age.
With those materials firmly under his control, he would retain love and admiration whether his wife and kids like him or not, or else ...

I'm very sure no good woman will abandon a loving husband in old age. What do she stand to gain?

Young men need to understand some certain things in life.
Because you're strong, healthy now , does not mean you're going to be that way forever.
Love your wife, let her know you do. Show your children you love them and their mother. Especially male children.

Otherwise, you will suffer when all your strength and your cheating skills are gone.

Your children are watching.

All those attitude you display when your wife is pregnant, in labour, child birth and critical moments, she can never forget them.

all4zionlover:
I'm very sure no good woman will abandon a loving husband in old age. What do she stand to gain?

Of course there are few good women who would not abandon their husbands in old age. BUT ...
The majority of the women do, but society hardly takes notice.
Not saying that some men are not reaping what they sow, but women (again by nature) forgive less than men. Women remember things that happened DECADES ago in the marriage; even trivial ones. It is THEIR NATURE.
Know why most men die before their wives? It is not always because they are older. A lot of them die due to neglect.
Men suffer in silence and die without anyone noticing.
Most men feel too embarrassed and ashamed to share their stories.
These days is even worse because women get attention from younger men.
And if woe betides the man the woman has a better career and travels. He is finished.
Solution is simple: Never exhaust your FINANCIAL resources so you can buy care for yourself in old age.
People love money, whether wife, kids, relations, job-seekers, EVERYONE.
Life is not sentimental and no one is perfect.
To expect humans to not be selfish just because you are their relation is to be clueless.

I would advise such men to marry a young girl while aging so she can atleast take care of him wen he is weak and unable to move around.

Davidave:


Narcissistic people have good skills to Bleep everyone and then act like victims.

If your entire family abandons you, you probably have been the biggest asshole to them.

Not all the time. I've seen wife and children abandon their dad but still ask him for money. Even on his sick bed. They still make demands. He had near death experience and none showed up at the hospital up till he recovered.

If you like be a deadbeat father, you go hear am.
Your old age will be so damn lonely till you die.

My friend's dad is currently going through same shiit.
I no even bother to beg her to look her dad way man TOO Bleep UP.

Recently self a neighbour was telling me one of the cousins who landed a big job came to his family house wearing the company's face cap. He woke up to see his father putting it on, he snatched it away from his head and warned him never to try that again.
He told him clearly that the honour for who he is is meant for his maternal uncle who train him through out his education.

The old man is still in shock.

THIS HAS BEEN BOTH A COMMON CONCERN OF EVERY RESPONSIBLE MAN AS WELL AS A FAMILIAR TOPIC AMONG MEN THROUGH AGES, But unfortunately, it is a lost battle

Not long ago, I stumbled on a discussion in relation to how some women abandon their husbands at advanced ages and pitch their tents with their children under the guise of helping them to nurse their (children's) children. In some other cases, the men have been abandoned at old age by their wives because they felt it was 'pay back time' for unforgivable sins allegedly committed by the old man when he was younger. Such sins don't necessarily have anything to do with infidelity or taking a younger wife, but it's enough if the wife and the children all concluded he was too harsh with (or to) them when the marriage was younger or the children were growing up. They carefully elect to wait until the old man has retired and needs the company of his wife and the affection of the children most before they embark on a revenge mission!

In most, if not all, cases, the man must have worked day and night towards the physical, economic, and educational advancement of the family, most especially the children when they were growing up. Ironically, but for what the children now label as 'high-handedness', most, if not all, of them would have ended up as wayward children and unable to make anything worthwhile out of their lives. But they don't appreciate that!

The most painful part of it is that, the wife it was who used to obtain the children's submission to her 'dictations' by mentioning their Daddy's name each time they tended towards obstinacy! 'Your daddy is coming', 'your daddy will soon come', 'if you don't listen to me, I will report you to your daddy when he comes back', and so on. Expectedly, the children would not like to incur the wrath of their daddy, hence, they will 'maintain'! Where the children refused to listen to the mother and she was constrained to report them to the father, the father's reaction by way of punishment is what is now being used against the man as being too high-handed.

Another reason for the children's resentment towards their father is the mistaken impression that the father never contributed towards their education. While this can be true in some extreme cases where the father is irredeemably irresponsible, the truth is that in most other cases, because the father had to pursue money most of the time, he would give money for school fees and upkeep to the wife to go and settle whilst he goes 'hustling'. These facts are usually unknown to the children and the mother never told them it was their father who provided the money. Such children would later grow up and rebel against the father for his 'irresponsible' behaviours when they were growing up!

It will amount to over-generalisation to conclude that all women and children do this. Far from it! Recently, I was discussing with a former colleague in one of the banks where I previously worked. She told me that she was outside the country with Daddy. What for? One of their children just gave birth and both of them had travelled abroad to 'baby sit'! I think that's how it should be unless the old man elects not to travel!

Even in very extreme cases where the man had been beastly during the 'sinning' period, why should the woman wait until the husband's old age to 'pay him back'? Why not call it a day with the relationship when the man could still have been able to find someone with compatible behavioural patterns?

What Shall Men Do?

In the first place, a man must learn to be responsible and responsive in matrimonial homes! He must be actively involved in the children's affairs! Where some roles have been delegated to the mother, he should let the children be aware!

Second, no father must allow the woman to surreptitiously turn him into a masquerade in the estimation of the children. That you went out and you're returning home should be something that your children are looking forward to. If you continue to allow yourself to be portrayed as the family masquerade, in your old age you will definitely pay for it.

Furthermore, as a father, learn to correct your children in and with love. Let them know the reason a particular course of punishment was administered. Whatever level of punishment to be administered must be commensurate to the act of misdemeanour! Just like the Yorubas would say: 'Abéré ò gbudò sonù, ká lo gbé Ṣàngó síta'! Let the punishment fit the offence!

Finally, fathers must learn to provide for any 'incasity' at old age! In other words, learn not to eat with both hands. If you haven't been doing that before, start saving for the rainy day (old age) today. If your spouse and children decide to be supportive at old age, all well and good, but if it turns out to be otherwise, there will be no regrets. Times are changing fast too! The children also have their own lives to live. If anything comes from them to the parents at old age, fine, otherwise try and be prepared! Whatever you have as savings would eventually go to them upon your inevitable departure anyway. No parent knows the art of raising or bringing up children. Only God does!

This battle of mother and children in relation to men, in most cases, is a lost battle for men. You cannot win it. The most deceptive belief a man can have is to think that he knows everything that goes on under his roof. This is because there's usually a lot of 'Má jé kí Daddy ẹ ó mò tàbí gbó o' in all homes! In other words, 'don't let your daddy know or hear that o'! This usually exists between the mother and the children to the exclusion of the father! They understandably spend more time together than men do, no matter how hard the fathers try! I think it's unconscionable for any woman to 'conspire' with the children to dub her husband a devil after using him as a tool to train the children to achieve greatness! God bless our homes, Amen!

Caleb Arogundade

The

They were never available for their wife and children when they needed him most. He prefers to spend time with his prodigal friends to carry strange women and paint the town red. Now he should look for one of those his Sugar girls to come and take care of him.

Same way a certain Gaby has been abandoned by his folks. He was a good for nothing loser in his prime . Always drinking and falling everywhere . He even suffered a brain injury following one of those falls .
Why should a calamity like that be taken care of in his old age
He has resorted to expressing his frustration on nairaland.
May everyone here never end up like gaby