My friend's daughter just disowned her dad. . . .in this awa diaspora ke! Rumor had it that the dad wanted her mom to use her for 'ritual' as soon as she was born. He suggested they should 'use this one', because other children will come.
Of course the woman told her daughter when she got older. . . .THE DAUGHTER HAS SINCE CHANGED HER LAST NAME TO HER MATERNAL GRANDFATHER'S FIRST NAME.
I have met the man myself. . . his head is not correct. I would not put it past him. Like this does not happen all over Nigeria?
Ariketolu: THIS HAS BEEN BOTH A COMMON CONCERN OF EVERY RESPONSIBLE MAN AS WELL AS A FAMILIAR TOPIC AMONG MEN THROUGH AGES, But unfortunately, it is a lost battle
Not long ago, I stumbled on a discussion in relation to how some women abandon their husbands at advanced ages and pitch their tents with their children under the guise of helping them to nurse their (children's) children. In some other cases, the men have been abandoned at old age by their wives because they felt it was 'pay back time' for unforgivable sins allegedly committed by the old man when he was younger. Such sins don't necessarily have anything to do with infidelity or taking a younger wife, but it's enough if the wife and the children all concluded he was too harsh with (or to) them when the marriage was younger or the children were growing up. They carefully elect to wait until the old man has retired and needs the company of his wife and the affection of the children most before they embark on a revenge mission!
In most, if not all, cases, the man must have worked day and night towards the physical, economic, and educational advancement of the family, most especially the children when they were growing up. Ironically, but for what the children now label as 'high-handedness', most, if not all, of them would have ended up as wayward children and unable to make anything worthwhile out of their lives. But they don't appreciate that!
The most painful part of it is that, the wife it was who used to obtain the children's submission to her 'dictations' by mentioning their Daddy's name each time they tended towards obstinacy! 'Your daddy is coming', 'your daddy will soon come', 'if you don't listen to me, I will report you to your daddy when he comes back', and so on. Expectedly, the children would not like to incur the wrath of their daddy, hence, they will 'maintain'! Where the children refused to listen to the mother and she was constrained to report them to the father, the father's reaction by way of punishment is what is now being used against the man as being too high-handed.
Another reason for the children's resentment towards their father is the mistaken impression that the father never contributed towards their education. While this can be true in some extreme cases where the father is irredeemably irresponsible, the truth is that in most other cases, because the father had to pursue money most of the time, he would give money for school fees and upkeep to the wife to go and settle whilst he goes 'hustling'. These facts are usually unknown to the children and the mother never told them it was their father who provided the money. Such children would later grow up and rebel against the father for his 'irresponsible' behaviours when they were growing up!
It will amount to over-generalisation to conclude that all women and children do this. Far from it! Recently, I was discussing with a former colleague in one of the banks where I previously worked. She told me that she was outside the country with Daddy. What for? One of their children just gave birth and both of them had travelled abroad to 'baby sit'! I think that's how it should be unless the old man elects not to travel!
Even in very extreme cases where the man had been beastly during the 'sinning' period, why should the woman wait until the husband's old age to 'pay him back'? Why not call it a day with the relationship when the man could still have been able to find someone with compatible behavioural patterns?
What Shall Men Do?
In the first place, a man must learn to be responsible and responsive in matrimonial homes! He must be actively involved in the children's affairs! Where some roles have been delegated to the mother, he should let the children be aware!
Second, no father must allow the woman to surreptitiously turn him into a masquerade in the estimation of the children. That you went out and you're returning home should be something that your children are looking forward to. If you continue to allow yourself to be portrayed as the family masquerade, in your old age you will definitely pay for it.
Furthermore, as a father, learn to correct your children in and with love. Let them know the reason a particular course of punishment was administered. Whatever level of punishment to be administered must be commensurate to the act of misdemeanour! Just like the Yorubas would say: 'Abéré ò gbudò sonù, ká lo gbé Ṣàngó síta'! Let the punishment fit the offence!
Finally, fathers must learn to provide for any 'incasity' at old age! In other words, learn not to eat with both hands. If you haven't been doing that before, start saving for the rainy day (old age) today. If your spouse and children decide to be supportive at old age, all well and good, but if it turns out to be otherwise, there will be no regrets. Times are changing fast too! The children also have their own lives to live. If anything comes from them to the parents at old age, fine, otherwise try and be prepared! Whatever you have as savings would eventually go to them upon your inevitable departure anyway. No parent knows the art of raising or bringing up children. Only God does!
This battle of mother and children in relation to men, in most cases, is a lost battle for men. You cannot win it. The most deceptive belief a man can have is to think that he knows everything that goes on under his roof. This is because there's usually a lot of 'Má jé kí Daddy ẹ ó mò tàbí gbó o' in all homes! In other words, 'don't let your daddy know or hear that o'! This usually exists between the mother and the children to the exclusion of the father! They understandably spend more time together than men do, no matter how hard the fathers try! I think it's unconscionable for any woman to 'conspire' with the children to dub her husband a devil after using him as a tool to train the children to achieve greatness! God bless our homes, Amen!
Caleb Arogundade
Seriously, you're epitome of African society. Your message is clear.!
Ariketolu: THIS HAS BEEN BOTH A COMMON CONCERN OF EVERY RESPONSIBLE MAN AS WELL AS A FAMILIAR TOPIC AMONG MEN THROUGH AGES, But unfortunately, it is a lost battle
Not long ago, I stumbled on a discussion in relation to how some women abandon their husbands at advanced ages and pitch their tents with their children under the guise of helping them to nurse their (children's) children. In some other cases, the men have been abandoned at old age by their wives because they felt it was 'pay back time' for unforgivable sins allegedly committed by the old man when he was younger. Such sins don't necessarily have anything to do with infidelity or taking a younger wife, but it's enough if the wife and the children all concluded he was too harsh with (or to) them when the marriage was younger or the children were growing up. They carefully elect to wait until the old man has retired and needs the company of his wife and the affection of the children most before they embark on a revenge mission!
In most, if not all, cases, the man must have worked day and night towards the physical, economic, and educational advancement of the family, most especially the children when they were growing up. Ironically, but for what the children now label as 'high-handedness', most, if not all, of them would have ended up as wayward children and unable to make anything worthwhile out of their lives. But they don't appreciate that!
The most painful part of it is that, the wife it was who used to obtain the children's submission to her 'dictations' by mentioning their Daddy's name each time they tended towards obstinacy! 'Your daddy is coming', 'your daddy will soon come', 'if you don't listen to me, I will report you to your daddy when he comes back', and so on. Expectedly, the children would not like to incur the wrath of their daddy, hence, they will 'maintain'! Where the children refused to listen to the mother and she was constrained to report them to the father, the father's reaction by way of punishment is what is now being used against the man as being too high-handed.
Another reason for the children's resentment towards their father is the mistaken impression that the father never contributed towards their education. While this can be true in some extreme cases where the father is irredeemably irresponsible, the truth is that in most other cases, because the father had to pursue money most of the time, he would give money for school fees and upkeep to the wife to go and settle whilst he goes 'hustling'. These facts are usually unknown to the children and the mother never told them it was their father who provided the money. Such children would later grow up and rebel against the father for his 'irresponsible' behaviours when they were growing up!
It will amount to over-generalisation to conclude that all women and children do this. Far from it! Recently, I was discussing with a former colleague in one of the banks where I previously worked. She told me that she was outside the country with Daddy. What for? One of their children just gave birth and both of them had travelled abroad to 'baby sit'! I think that's how it should be unless the old man elects not to travel!
Even in very extreme cases where the man had been beastly during the 'sinning' period, why should the woman wait until the husband's old age to 'pay him back'? Why not call it a day with the relationship when the man could still have been able to find someone with compatible behavioural patterns?
What Shall Men Do?
In the first place, a man must learn to be responsible and responsive in matrimonial homes! He must be actively involved in the children's affairs! Where some roles have been delegated to the mother, he should let the children be aware!
Second, no father must allow the woman to surreptitiously turn him into a masquerade in the estimation of the children. That you went out and you're returning home should be something that your children are looking forward to. If you continue to allow yourself to be portrayed as the family masquerade, in your old age you will definitely pay for it.
Furthermore, as a father, learn to correct your children in and with love. Let them know the reason a particular course of punishment was administered. Whatever level of punishment to be administered must be commensurate to the act of misdemeanour! Just like the Yorubas would say: 'Abéré ò gbudò sonù, ká lo gbé Ṣàngó síta'! Let the punishment fit the offence!
Finally, fathers must learn to provide for any 'incasity' at old age! In other words, learn not to eat with both hands. If you haven't been doing that before, start saving for the rainy day (old age) today. If your spouse and children decide to be supportive at old age, all well and good, but if it turns out to be otherwise, there will be no regrets. Times are changing fast too! The children also have their own lives to live. If anything comes from them to the parents at old age, fine, otherwise try and be prepared! Whatever you have as savings would eventually go to them upon your inevitable departure anyway. No parent knows the art of raising or bringing up children. Only God does!
This battle of mother and children in relation to men, in most cases, is a lost battle for men. You cannot win it. The most deceptive belief a man can have is to think that he knows everything that goes on under his roof. This is because there's usually a lot of 'Má jé kí Daddy ẹ ó mò tàbí gbó o' in all homes! In other words, 'don't let your daddy know or hear that o'! This usually exists between the mother and the children to the exclusion of the father! They understandably spend more time together than men do, no matter how hard the fathers try! I think it's unconscionable for any woman to 'conspire' with the children to dub her husband a devil after using him as a tool to train the children to achieve greatness! God bless our homes, Amen!
Men, just treat your wives well in your youthful days, she needs you more and she will in turn treat you well when you need her more in your old age. Joke Silva and Olu Jacob is a very good example. Your children are seeing everything, trust me.
For some old men, they are being repaid for abusing the power and control they had over their wives and children.
Not exactly.Too much of iron hand by fathers on their children and wife when the kids are growing up is very bad. If you children cannot relate with you,it make them to loose affection for their father.And this is a lop hole that a bad wife can use to turn children against their father in future.ALL MEN NEED TO WATCH THIS KWAM1 song goes does(bin se gbomo mi gege temi yemi.tisu omo bajino ko mama jo mi lenu
Only weak men and unfortunate men put themselves in such position.
Most of you women are extremely selfish,. Irrespective of whether the man is there for you...
Human beings are naturally selfish. However, what we should be more worried about are women who are extremely manipulative. They are the vast majority and they easily turn the children against their fathers.
But then, like most guys advise here, every man must have a retirement plan - in the forms of savings or businesses they will use to sustain themselves when they are old. Children are not retirement plan because they have their own lives to live.
Not exactly.Too much of iron hand by fathers on their children and wife when the kids are growing up is very bad. If you children cannot relate with you,it make them to loose affection for their father.And this is a lop hole that a bad wife can use to turn children against their father in future.ALL MEN NEED TO WATCH THIS KWAM1 song goes does(bin se gbomo mi gege temi yemi.tisu omo bajino ko mama jo mi lenu
Children who have lost affection for their father based on their lived experience with him, do not need anyone to turn them against their father and such fathers should not expect their wives to clean up the negative feelings their children have towards to them.
Choilila: Because Men abandoned women during their youthful days chasing girls in the name of sidechicks. So it's the responsibility of the chicks to look after the Men when their old age rocks.
There are couple of factors that could cause such outcome. 1. Having a bad wife 2. Being a cheating husband because you see the woman as not having any choice than to stay and accommodate your excesses because if she leaves people will laugh and mock her for leaving, so she will endure your rubbish at young age, then wait for you at old age. 3. Most times when men do this nonsense the wives' only means of comfort becomes their children who eventually grow not always having these men around. During those times the wives take advantage of the opportunity to turn the children against their fathers. 4. When you make a woman believe that your money is your property or investment, and she also is one of your properties or investment, instead of making her feel she is the co-owner of the money or investment. Your wife can make as much money as you make if she was not in your house taking care of the children, cooking for you, and waiting for you to in the other room to help you calm your nerves after a busy day, so what ever you earn she is a shareholder. Who your Old Testament Principle King David's polygamous life style help. Love your wife, make yourself indispensable in her life, when you do so, even in your absence when you go to make money she will speak well of you to the children. And also as a father don't be too busy to bond with your children. In Africa our old age gratuity is our children, when they are young with you in the house explore the time to create the relationship you want to enjoy from them in old age. 5. As much as possible, be rational sexually- Sex is not only for your pleasure. if you make your marital sex life your own pleasure (once you are satisfied you jump out and dose of off on the bed without working her through), she will endure it, and wishes you die so that she can use the family wealth to get for her self someone that will give her the satisfaction you starve her. So sow in your wife and children what you wish to harvest in your old age. 6. Lastly, marry woman that will age with you, (if you are 30 let your wife be between 25 to 30, or few years above 30) not the one that will be forty when you are 70 or ninety, that is already danger alert.
all4zionlover: I'm sure if the man was a good husband and father to his children, they will not abandon him in old age. Sow love, care and kindness now that you're a young husband and father.
You know nothing. The feminine imperative doesn't care about male idealism.
The Answer is simple. Men are only loved for what they can provide. Hypergamy and the feminine imperative doesn't care about male idealistic expectations of love.
You get what you deserve. Many father are total monsters, especially when the children are little and still dependent on them. These beast make everyone's life unbearable. Then they conveniently turn a new leaf once she children grow up and secure paying jobs. Luckily, people are becoming smarter nowadays. If you didn't want a part in my life growing up, then you shouldn't now.
vince96w2: whether I cling or not, they will go and get their families and u will hardly see them and ur wife will go for omuguo... Solution make money and pay for service when ur old..no send anybody
Easier said than done. No matter the kind of money it won't solve loneliness in old age when family ain't around. Many of them pensionable old men are around my estate,some are retired into duplexes with their driver, dogs and dusty rooms.
They pay exorbitant prices for sex, they rarely enjoy. They pay for for companionship, because no girl will stay that long with an old man.
One retired officer tried it, married a kaduna girl who packed and ran away with a young boy she met few blocks away in their street.
[quote author=onumadu post=120293938]It is happening because it is the natural course of things in life, and there are bio-social reasons for it. If there is any FIRM strike against monogamy, this is it. In my ancestral Igboland, a man married as he aged. Example, at 20 year old, he married his first wife who may be 15/16 yrs old. At his 30 birthday, he married another woman... and so on until he gets to about 60-70 yrs old when he married a woman that (in Igbo language we say) "ga ene ya nka" (that would take care of him in old age). Go and see in the Bible where king David did exactly the same thing. But today, clueless men herd other clueless men into a clueless marriage system that is almost anti-men, only to get discarded and abused in their old age. This is why I keep advocating for a return to the ancestral Igbo marriage system by the Igbo. Euro-monogamy comes with things you cannot handle. When my beloved uncle died alone after raising children but was abandoned in old age, the handwriting on the wall became bright red for us his male relatives. Argue with yourself if you like!
This is not always true. At all. In fact I've seen quite a few cases where this happened and the men involved where EXCELLENT fathers and husbands. The problem is natural. Monogamy has a reductionist demand on men that is impossible to meet. A women for example would want to avenge the fact that her husband looked at another woman 30 yrs ago! It is not that the man looked at another woman. It is that she is looking for a pretext to abandon him in old age! A man gets married and at first controls 90% love and admiration. But as he ages, and he keeps investing in his wife and kids, he gradually drains himself of that love and admiration because he empowers them while he dis-empowers himself. Over time, he would be lucky if he controlled 10% love and admiration. How does love and admiration come about? Through MATERIAL THINGS: money, properties, etc. Once he depletes all that and the kids grow up, the wife becomes "free" of the kids, and since he is sexually emptied as well for his wife, he loses everything and gets abandoned. Life is NOT sentimental. That is why a smart man must plan ahead and keep his materials very close to himself until his old age. With those materials firmly under his control, he would retain love and admiration whether his wife and kids like him or not, or else ...
onumadu: It is happening because it is the natural course of things in life, and there are bio-social reasons for it. If there is any FIRM strike against monogamy, this is it. In my ancestral Igboland, a man married as he aged. Example, at 20 year old, he married his first wife who may be 15/16 yrs old. At his 30 birthday, he married another woman... and so on until he gets to about 60-70 yrs old when he married a woman that (in Igbo language we say) "ga ene ya nka" (that would take care of him in old age). Go and see in the Bible where king David did exactly the same thing. But today, clueless men herd other clueless men into a clueless marriage system that is almost anti-men, only to get discarded and abused in their old age. This is why I keep advocating for a return to the ancestral Igbo marriage system by the Igbo. Euro-monogamy comes with things you cannot handle. When my beloved uncle died alone after raising children but was abandoned in old age, the handwriting on the wall became bright red for us his male relatives. Argue with yourself if you like!
I am not an Igbo man but I agree with you 100% on this.
[You are one of the wicked being on the surface of the earth, why can’t the woman leaves and allow the man marry one of the side chicks if she feel abandoned by the man ? But wait till the man is aging to punish him because of his properties. quote author=Choilila post=120286416]Because Men abandoned women during their youthful days chasing girls in the name of sidechicks. So it's the responsibility of the chicks to look after the Men when their old age rocks.[/quote]
okomile: If my husband falls down, I will not lift him up nor render any assistance. Why? When I was working, I was virtually d breadwinner, he then was amassing university degrees and associations.Now, I don't have a job, I have turned to torn in his flesh. Am patiently waiting to take my pounds of flesh
Kobojunkie: What was he to them before he became bedridden?
Fortunately he is not bedridden. He was a good father and husband. Selfish to the world but selfless to his family. He and his wife used to unite to oppress other people ooo. I won't even lie about that. Now they fight each other. I guess one person is tired of the crazy lifestyle.
Choilila: Because Men abandoned women during their youthful days chasing girls in the name of sidechicks. So it's the responsibility of the chicks to look after the Men when their old age rocks.
How did you arrive at that silly conclusion when Op just said that they were together until old age set in? How and when did husbands abandon wives when they were living together until children become successful through the husbands efforts?
onumadu: It is happening because it is the natural course of things in life, and there are bio-social reasons for it. If there is any FIRM strike against monogamy, this is it. In my ancestral Igboland, a man married as he aged. Example, at 20 year old, he married his first wife who may be 15/16 yrs old. At his 30 birthday, he married another woman... and so on until he gets to about 60-70 yrs old when he married a woman that (in Igbo language we say) "ga ene ya nka" (that would take care of him in old age). Go and see in the Bible where king David did exactly the same thing. But today, clueless men herd other clueless men into a clueless marriage system that is almost anti-men, only to get discarded and abused in their old age. This is why I keep advocating for a return to the ancestral Igbo marriage system by the Igbo. Euro-monogamy comes with things you cannot handle. When my beloved uncle died alone after raising children but was abandoned in old age, the handwriting on the wall became bright red for us his male relatives. Argue with yourself if you like!
This is not always true. At all. In fact I've seen quite a few cases where this happened and the men involved where EXCELLENT fathers and husbands. The problem is natural. Monogamy has a reductionist demand on men that is impossible to meet. A women for example would want to avenge the fact that her husband looked at another woman 30 yrs ago! It is not that the man looked at another woman. It is that she is looking for a pretext to abandon him in old age! A man gets married and at first controls 90% love and admiration. But as he ages, and he keeps investing in his wife and kids, he gradually drains himself of that love and admiration because he empowers them while he dis-empowers himself. Over time, he would be lucky if he controlled 10% love and admiration. How does love and admiration come about? Through MATERIAL THINGS: money, properties, etc. Once he depletes all that and the kids grow up, the wife becomes "free" of the kids, and since he is sexually emptied as well for his wife, he loses everything and gets abandoned. Life is NOT sentimental. That is why a smart man must plan ahead and keep his materials very close to himself until his old age. With those materials firmly under his control, he would retain love and admiration whether his wife and kids like him or not, or else ...
■ Fortunately he is not bedridden. He was a good father and husband. Selfish to the world but selfless to his family. ■He and his wife used to unite to oppress other people ooo. I won't even lie about that. Now they fight each other. I guess one person is tired of the crazy lifestyle.
Did his own children tell you this or are you an outsider pretending to have knowledge of what goes on in another's home?
2. What makes you think the oppression was only directed outwards without spilling over on the inside to cause a rift between him and maybe his kids at least?
Ariketolu: THIS HAS BEEN BOTH A COMMON CONCERN OF EVERY RESPONSIBLE MAN AS WELL AS A FAMILIAR TOPIC AMONG MEN THROUGH AGES, But unfortunately, it is a lost battle
Not long ago, I stumbled on a discussion in relation to how some women abandon their husbands at advanced ages and pitch their tents with their children under the guise of helping them to nurse their (children's) children. In some other cases, the men have been abandoned at old age by their wives because they felt it was 'pay back time' for unforgivable sins allegedly committed by the old man when he was younger. Such sins don't necessarily have anything to do with infidelity or taking a younger wife, but it's enough if the wife and the children all concluded he was too harsh with (or to) them when the marriage was younger or the children were growing up. They carefully elect to wait until the old man has retired and needs the company of his wife and the affection of the children most before they embark on a revenge mission!
In most, if not all, cases, the man must have worked day and night towards the physical, economic, and educational advancement of the family, most especially the children when they were growing up. Ironically, but for what the children now label as 'high-handedness', most, if not all, of them would have ended up as wayward children and unable to make anything worthwhile out of their lives. But they don't appreciate that!
The most painful part of it is that, the wife it was who used to obtain the children's submission to her 'dictations' by mentioning their Daddy's name each time they tended towards obstinacy! 'Your daddy is coming', 'your daddy will soon come', 'if you don't listen to me, I will report you to your daddy when he comes back', and so on. Expectedly, the children would not like to incur the wrath of their daddy, hence, they will 'maintain'! Where the children refused to listen to the mother and she was constrained to report them to the father, the father's reaction by way of punishment is what is now being used against the man as being too high-handed.
Another reason for the children's resentment towards their father is the mistaken impression that the father never contributed towards their education. While this can be true in some extreme cases where the father is irredeemably irresponsible, the truth is that in most other cases, because the father had to pursue money most of the time, he would give money for school fees and upkeep to the wife to go and settle whilst he goes 'hustling'. These facts are usually unknown to the children and the mother never told them it was their father who provided the money. Such children would later grow up and rebel against the father for his 'irresponsible' behaviours when they were growing up!
It will amount to over-generalisation to conclude that all women and children do this. Far from it! Recently, I was discussing with a former colleague in one of the banks where I previously worked. She told me that she was outside the country with Daddy. What for? One of their children just gave birth and both of them had travelled abroad to 'baby sit'! I think that's how it should be unless the old man elects not to travel!
Even in very extreme cases where the man had been beastly during the 'sinning' period, why should the woman wait until the husband's old age to 'pay him back'? Why not call it a day with the relationship when the man could still have been able to find someone with compatible behavioural patterns?
What Shall Men Do?
In the first place, a man must learn to be responsible and responsive in matrimonial homes! He must be actively involved in the children's affairs! Where some roles have been delegated to the mother, he should let the children be aware!
Second, no father must allow the woman to surreptitiously turn him into a masquerade in the estimation of the children. That you went out and you're returning home should be something that your children are looking forward to. If you continue to allow yourself to be portrayed as the family masquerade, in your old age you will definitely pay for it.
Furthermore, as a father, learn to correct your children in and with love. Let them know the reason a particular course of punishment was administered. Whatever level of punishment to be administered must be commensurate to the act of misdemeanour! Just like the Yorubas would say: 'Abéré ò gbudò sonù, ká lo gbé Ṣàngó síta'! Let the punishment fit the offence!
Finally, fathers must learn to provide for any 'incasity' at old age! In other words, learn not to eat with both hands. If you haven't been doing that before, start saving for the rainy day (old age) today. If your spouse and children decide to be supportive at old age, all well and good, but if it turns out to be otherwise, there will be no regrets. Times are changing fast too! The children also have their own lives to live. If anything comes from them to the parents at old age, fine, otherwise try and be prepared! Whatever you have as savings would eventually go to them upon your inevitable departure anyway. No parent knows the art of raising or bringing up children. Only God does!
This battle of mother and children in relation to men, in most cases, is a lost battle for men. You cannot win it. The most deceptive belief a man can have is to think that he knows everything that goes on under his roof. This is because there's usually a lot of 'Má jé kí Daddy ẹ ó mò tàbí gbó o' in all homes! In other words, 'don't let your daddy know or hear that o'! This usually exists between the mother and the children to the exclusion of the father! They understandably spend more time together than men do, no matter how hard the fathers try! I think it's unconscionable for any woman to 'conspire' with the children to dub her husband a devil after using him as a tool to train the children to achieve greatness! God bless our homes, Amen!
onumadu: It is happening because it is the natural course of things in life, and there are bio-social reasons for it. If there is any FIRM strike against monogamy, this is it. In my ancestral Igboland, a man married as he aged. Example, at 20 year old, he married his first wife who may be 15/16 yrs old. At his 30 birthday, he married another woman... and so on until he gets to about 60-70 yrs old when he married a woman that (in Igbo language we say) "ga ene ya nka" (that would take care of him in old age). Go and see in the Bible where king David did exactly the same thing. But today, clueless men herd other clueless men into a clueless marriage system that is almost anti-men, only to get discarded and abused in their old age. This is why I keep advocating for a return to the ancestral Igbo marriage system by the Igbo. Euro-monogamy comes with things you cannot handle. When my beloved uncle died alone after raising children but was abandoned in old age, the handwriting on the wall became bright red for us his male relatives. Argue with yourself if you like!
Thank you. Polygamy wasn't igbos culture alone but also that of Yorubas, Hausas and tribes in Nigeria. Even Nigeria's men and guys have been brainwashed to see polygamy as the next thing standing to evil, they would try to outcast anyone who advocates for polygamy. It is that bad!
This is not always true. At all. In fact I've seen quite a few cases where this happened and the men involved where EXCELLENT fathers and husbands. The problem is natural. Monogamy has a reductionist demand on men that is impossible to meet. A women for example would want to avenge the fact that her husband looked at another woman 30 yrs ago! It is not that the man looked at another woman. It is that she is looking for a pretext to abandon him in old age! A man gets married and at first controls 90% love and admiration. But as he ages, and he keeps investing in his wife and kids, he gradually drains himself of that love and admiration because he empowers them while he dis-empowers himself. Over time, he would be lucky if he controlled 10% love and admiration. How does love and admiration come about? Through MATERIAL THINGS: money, properties, etc. Once he depletes all that and the kids grow up, the wife becomes "free" of the kids, and since he is sexually emptied as well for his wife, he loses everything and gets abandoned. Life is NOT sentimental. That is why a smart man must plan ahead and keep his materials very close to himself until his old age. With those materials firmly under his control, he would retain love and admiration whether his wife and kids like him or not, or else ...
From what you wrote. Even polygamy will not solve the problem of abandonment that is occasioned by depletion in wealth.
