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Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? (27382 Views)

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Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by gaby(m): 10:39pm On Jan 23, 2023
YeeboMuslim:
Same way a certain Gaby has been abandoned by his folks. He was a good for nothing loser in his prime . Always drinking and falling everywhere . He even suffered a brain injury following one of those falls .
Why should a calamity like that be taken care of in his old age
He has resorted to expressing his frustration on nairaland. grin grin
May anyone here never end up like gaby grin grin

Your data don finish ba? Abi your kpalasa phone battery don die..you for go charge the phone for your principal house na...useless slave.

Send your account or telephone number make I top up for you.

Useless and hopeless urchin wey don sell him destiny for a crumb.

Death to you all enemies of the Nigerian people and country.

Selfish lots.

2 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by Connected1: 10:42pm On Jan 23, 2023
Any male child who joins hands with his mother to abandon his father is a fool and he will surely suffer the consequences later in life.

Women are emotional beings and as a man you have to be logical and make reasonable decisions.

My mother always hinted that I move only her and leave my father that he has been miserable all his life, giving several useless reasons, but alas both of them are in the new house.

I do think men should give money to their wives in front of their children, the one you give in the room, she usually claims it as hers, she may not be a bad mother or wife but that's how they are wired, once you let your guard down at old age they use it against you.

A friend of mine allowed his father to die last month out of hunger, I really pity him because he's foolish and has been brainwashed by his mother, I usually give his old man money when I am around but when I came to town from a week travel, I was told he died and hunger was the cause 😥.

Unless my Father tried to kill my mother sometime ago, I don't see another reason why I won't help him, we all make mistakes and women do many mistakes too but cover it with emotional manipulations so you see them as victims or saints.

Some Foolish men think too high of their mothers and they assume mothers are always right instead of using their brains.

18 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by grandstar(m): 10:43pm On Jan 23, 2023
ejimatic

If they followed Bible principles when raising their kids and dealing with the wife, things will not generate to such an awful extent.

You reap what you sow.

Parents should be close to their children when they are growing. Fathers should also set examples for their children. Men should also love their wives and be faithful. Wives must also love their husband's and have deep respect for him.

I came from a polygamous home. My dad liked women. However, he ensured all his kids were close.

He was also very generous to people and many of his children developed that same quality

He wasn't abandoned when he was old.

When he was in his 80s with dementia, our first born brought him to London for a 2 months visit. I accompanied with my half sister. We came back 2 days before the British lock down that commenced on the 23rd of March or we would have been stuck there. Covid isn't safe for the elderly.

My dad is gone now. Though he did not leave a will, there are no fights amongst us.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by imagrg(m): 10:46pm On Jan 23, 2023
Take kong for head for talking out too loud. Even though you are saying the obvious, many of us would not like it this blunt.
So, shut up and don't let other women hear you say this.
All the same, clap for yourself because I see you leaving your husband at old age! cry
Choilila:
Because Men abandoned women during their youthful days chasing girls in the name of sidechicks.
So it's the responsibility of the chicks to look after the Men when their old age rocks.
Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by Amumaigwe: 10:46pm On Jan 23, 2023
all4zionlover:
I'm sure if the man was a good husband and father to his children, they will not abandon him in old age.
Sow love, care and kindness now that you're a young husband and father.

You must be single or newly married. Experience will teach you sooner or later

1 Like

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by imagrg(m): 10:48pm On Jan 23, 2023
Very reasonable my dear.

She has hit the head on the nail. grin
ChybuzzDD:


Unreasonable response.

4 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by FuckTheMod: 10:50pm On Jan 23, 2023
Choilila:
Because Men abandoned women during their youthful days chasing girls in the name of sidechicks.
So it's the responsibility of the chicks to look after the Men when their old age rocks.
Keep FOOLING

Only weak men and unfortunate men put themselves in such position.

Most of you women are extremely selfish,. Irrespective of whether the man is there for you...

3 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by validplanet: 10:50pm On Jan 23, 2023
ejimatic:
It has been observed that many more crises are taking place in families nowadays. One of them is our focus here.

Many wives and children now abandon their husbands after the men retire. Some turn children against their fathers while some wives plan to kill their husbands so as to inherit their husband properties.

Why is it that wives want their husbands dead so as to inherit them? Why is it that when husbands are sicks WIves always try to know what is in the wills of their husbands? Why do wives abandon their husbands at the old age and pack to another apartment? Why do wives want to be in control of their husbands at the old age! Why do families crack when the old age is about to set in .

A man was abandoned by his wives and children so much so that he was crying for help in his apartment. When thean died the children slaughtered cows and painted the house.What do you think about this development? What is happening in the families now?

Because they're foolish enough to invest all their energy and resources training children who may not become successful in life. Or who may become successful only to get married and focus on their own wife and children.

Instead of following the tradition of training all your children to university. First build a business and invest in properties. And bring your children to work in your business and manage your properties, before investing in your children

7 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by 77star: 10:52pm On Jan 23, 2023
Jovialjune1:
Hehehe grin
Madam,
Why isn't your family original account functional at the moment?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by imagrg(m): 10:53pm On Jan 23, 2023
Another excellent point.
Your head has oil.
onumadu:


This is not always true. At all.
In fact I've seen quite a few cases where this happened and the men involved where EXCELLENT fathers and husbands.
The problem is natural.
Monogamy has a reductionist demand on men that is impossible to meet. A women for example would want to avenge the fact that her husband looked at another woman 30 yrs ago! It is not that the man looked at another woman. It is that she is looking for a pretext to abandon him in old age!
A man gets married and at first controls 90% love and admiration. But as he ages, and he keeps investing in his wife and kids, he gradually drains himself of that love and admiration because he empowers them while he dis-empowers himself.
Over time, he would be lucky if he controlled 10% love and admiration.
How does love and admiration come about? Through MATERIAL THINGS: money, properties, etc.
Once he depletes all that and the kids grow up, the wife becomes "free" of the kids, and since he is sexually emptied as well for his wife, he loses everything and gets abandoned.
Life is NOT sentimental.
That is why a smart man must plan ahead and keep his materials very close to himself until his old age.
With those materials firmly under his control, he would retain love and admiration whether his wife and kids like him or not, or else ... grin cool
Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by imagrg(m): 10:56pm On Jan 23, 2023
When preek refuse to perform it's civic duty the wife would jakpa and tell the children many lies about the old man.

1 Like

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by nedekid: 10:57pm On Jan 23, 2023
Hmm, I hear of such. Seems men have to ensure they are comfortable in their old age and not have to rely on any child. Some are lucky to be able to do that.
My folks de enjoy themselves wella. They went on cruise 2019 on the symphony of the seas. Now baba de disturb me for train ride vacation. Say make I research make him book. Orient express etc. All those ones you will spend 2 weeks inside train going through countries, mountains, glaciers etc.
Man must hustle oh.

2 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by Amumaigwe: 10:58pm On Jan 23, 2023
LadyRosa:
If you like be a deadbeat father, you go hear am.
Your old age will be so damn lonely till you die.

My friend's dad is currently going through same shiit.
I no even bother to beg her to look her dad way man TOO Bleep UP.

Recently self a neighbour was telling me one of the cousins who landed a big job came to his family house wearing the company's face cap. He woke up to see his father putting it on, he snatched it away from his head and warned him never to try that again.
He told him clearly that the honour for who he is is meant for his maternal uncle who train him through out his education.

The old man is still in shock. cheesy

You forget that women age faster than men and are more susceptible to infirmities. Hope it will also be okay if the man abandons his wife in her hour of needs over bottled grouse he has against her. Only foolish husbands enter vengeful women's trap set at their old age. I now can only love my family as myself. Not more.

3 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by Federalis: 11:01pm On Jan 23, 2023
We men bear everything, and allow this women to trick us right in our face, until it is too late. That is why I like the redpillers. Best for everyone...

3 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by AreaFada2: 11:02pm On Jan 23, 2023
Alawode01:
This occurrence is very rampant and now it takes another dimension, it doesn't matter either monogam or polygamy, and in my own observation about it is unless man rich enough to the end this thing might not happen so but if not once a woman see their children grow up, they will totally quit the man side.
The thing is a man's value diminishes in the eyes of his children and wife as he gets older, loses vitality and wealth. Children will always cherish the mother the most.

I know women who were not particularly good mother or wife yet 95% enjoyed children's attention. I remember one lady back then. It was a big family house they lived in. On Christmas Day, her kids usually got food from their step-grandmom (wife of their father's father). Same on New Year's. The lady will cook very unpalatable food later that even her kids will refuse. Her hubby also relied on his stepmom to cook his food. In fact the lady was all round totally useless and virtually everybody agreed on it. Let me not go into more details. The hubby, a very very good man who even refused to marry another wife despite being quite comfortable and respected, died many years ago. After his death, it was this lady enjoying the kids and grandkids. She died a few years back too.

I know a man that we all considered irresponsible for his excessive womanising and many kids outside. For years now, those kids he had outside, largely raised by their mothers, have all done well. Some baby mamas used to come "yare" at his house that he was a deadbeat dad back then. Those kids outside look after him very well now. Even the kids at home equally look after him well. If anybody deserved being abandoned in old age, perhaps it is a man like him. Many other men who were far better husbands and fathers, from what I have seen suffered. It is not exact science. Giving a lot to your kids and wife when young is no guarantee that they will reciprocate. Just do what you need to do as a man, hubby and father. Expect nothing and anything but plan for eventuality.

This life na luck. Men must weigh things carefully and plan for retirement. I used to despise polygamy but observation has shown me that monogamy is like putting all your eggs in one basket. Your wife of 40 years can change and decide to punish you for something trivial from 35 years ago. Her kids abroad now send her more money, she goes for omugwo, doesn't need you to raise her kids anymore, your pension from SG or FG is not even regular. grin cheesy

Polygamy has its many downsides of course but should not be totally ruled out. I used to rule it out.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by OgaTheTop2: 11:05pm On Jan 23, 2023
onumadu:


This is not always true. At all.
In fact I've seen quite a few cases where this happened and the men involved where EXCELLENT fathers and husbands.
The problem is natural.
Monogamy has a reductionist demand on men that is impossible to meet. A women for example would want to avenge the fact that her husband looked at another woman 30 yrs ago! It is not that the man looked at another woman. It is that she is looking for a pretext to abandon him in old age!
A man gets married and at first controls 90% love and admiration. But as he ages, and he keeps investing in his wife and kids, he gradually drains himself of that love and admiration because he empowers them while he dis-empowers himself.
Over time, he would be lucky if he controlled 10% love and admiration.
How does love and admiration come about? Through MATERIAL THINGS: money, properties, etc.
Once he depletes all that and the kids grow up, the wife becomes "free" of the kids, and since he is sexually emptied as well for his wife, he loses everything and gets abandoned.
Life is NOT sentimental.
That is why a smart man must plan ahead and keep his materials very close to himself until his old age.
With those materials firmly under his control, he would retain love and admiration whether his wife and kids like him or not, or else ... grin cool
Sensible and very logical post.

1 Like

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by Prettychild(f): 11:05pm On Jan 23, 2023
ejimatic:
It has been observed that many more crises are taking place in families nowadays. One of them is our focus here.

Many wives and children now abandon their husbands after the men retire. Some turn children against their fathers while some wives plan to kill their husbands so as to inherit their husband properties.

Why is it that wives want their husbands dead so as to inherit them? Why is it that when husbands are sicks WIves always try to know what is in the wills of their husbands? Why do wives abandon their husbands at the old age and pack to another apartment? Why do wives want to be in control of their husbands at the old age! Why do families crack when the old age is about to set in .

A man was abandoned by his wives and children so much so that he was crying for help in his apartment. When thean died the children slaughtered cows and painted the house.What do you think about this development? What is happening in the families now?
This happens when the man abandons his wife when they are young and chase side chicks. A back time will come and the woman and children will retaliate.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by Agunesinjaweola: 11:06pm On Jan 23, 2023
Many reasons can be adduced but it's very important to realized that children of nowadays think differently and an holistic approach and plans is necessary as an individuals.

I've seen my former Bank Executive nurturing and sent his two kids abroad in their teenage years.
The man retired and the wife relocated abroad to stay with the two kids in the UK while the husband has to make do with the old family relatives which he had helped while in active service.

Do not abandon family relatives and think its only your children who can stand with you when you're old but try and help Cousins, Nephews, and Nieces a little bit if you can afford to.

The truth is that many young guys are traveling abroad now and the consequences of it is that many will never contemplate returning back but rather start their own family abroad while leaving parents in Nigeria.

For those who are in Nigeria, the economy situation is biting hard and forcing many guys to get marry and hope the situation to change but unfortunately it doesn't feel better for many people and they are unable to support their parents who are relying on their children for some financial support.

The old family relatives that you have helped while in active service may now be your real family to support you while your children are away.

Try also to invest in a disposable landed property for your future and not to rely on your children incase they can not afford to help or they choose not to.

Some fathers are not just lucky and it isn't their faults but it's very important to plan for the future now so that you can live your life to the fullest.

7 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by Adeniyiademola(m): 11:06pm On Jan 23, 2023
Bethanybethel:
Because he abandoned us with our sick late mother and now he is only reaping what he sowed. He will suffer until his last day on earth.
that means the OP is referring to you. lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

1 Like

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by OgaTheTop2: 11:07pm On Jan 23, 2023
No matter what, just be there for your children..
Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by Nobody: 11:07pm On Jan 23, 2023
Let him keep on Crying. E go Cry Tire, Shiiit and Piss for body well well😂

I have one who Is still proving stronghead at 60+ and he has my other siblings showing him fake love because they want to Inherit his little to nothing property.

I don't pity wicked deadbeat men. They will be showing power and ruggedness in the house like soldier when they were young and yet they fail woefully in taking good care of their Offsprings. Motherfvckers😂

When they reach late 70s to 80s, Their eyes go con clear when them dey Shiiit for body😂

4 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by bigiyaro(m): 11:09pm On Jan 23, 2023
Such men are simply reaping exactly what they sowed in their hay days. Bond wella with your family when the glue is wet, I have seen girls prostuting to build houses for their dads/family. Train the kids well, treat your wife well, bond them well and your old age will be just fine.

3 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by sonso: 11:09pm On Jan 23, 2023
ChybuzzDD:


Unreasonable response.

Very very unreadable and pathetic.
Plastic wife material if a lady.

1 Like

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by 43Ronin: 11:14pm On Jan 23, 2023
Isn't it better they abandon you than be uselessing & disgracing you publicly like tinubu family

1 Like

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by RALPHOW(m): 11:15pm On Jan 23, 2023
onumadu:
It is happening because it is the natural course of things in life, and there are bio-social reasons for it.
If there is any FIRM strike against monogamy, this is it.
In my ancestral Igboland, a man married as he aged.
Example, at 20 year old, he married his first wife who may be 15/16 yrs old.
At his 30 birthday, he married another woman... and so on until he gets to about 60-70 yrs old when he married a woman that (in Igbo language we say) "ga ene ya nka" (that would take care of him in old age). Go and see in the Bible where king David did exactly the same thing.
But today, clueless men herd other clueless men into a clueless marriage system that is almost anti-men, only to get discarded and abused in their old age.
This is why I keep advocating for a return to the ancestral Igbo marriage system by the Igbo.
Euro-monogamy comes with things you cannot handle.
When my beloved uncle died alone after raising children but was abandoned in old age, the handwriting on the wall became bright red for us his male relatives.
Argue with yourself if you like! cool

Our parents are wise and I don't know why we make polygamy looks like sin in our churches today

Also government should remove punishment clauses from our court marriage.
God hate divorce and not polygamy.

1 Like

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by Nolevel666: 11:15pm On Jan 23, 2023
all4zionlover:
I'm sure if the man was a good husband and father to his children, they will not abandon him in old age.
Sow love, care and kindness now that you're a young husband and father.

Exactly!

I have a friend who his dad and mom are so clueless to the point that they have no money,no plan for their 6 children, almost all are dropouts presently and these same parents just sit at home doing nothing,waiting for their relatives abroad to send them money.

Common work they nor fit even put their children to go learn if at least they are too lazy to provide school fees for them.

The father usually tells them it’s not his business, nor be crime to be poor and there’s nothing he can do about it.
Since he lost his job (tanker driver) 2 years ago, he didn’t even bother to look for an alternative,instead, when his relatives send him money, he go enter boutique go by expensive clothes and perfume, while his children are at home doing nothing!

Now if those children manage to find a helper and they become someone tomorrow,what do you think will happen??

As for me,he will die in misery. That’s what lazy people deserve!

3 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by Obeleagu93(m): 11:23pm On Jan 23, 2023
What men nowadays don't know is that make your children your best friend and believe me they will never leave you lonely, wonder why mom's are always at kids heart is simple, they are manipulative with love, but dad's always show high handedness which isn't necessary all the time, sometimes you surprise them spend time with them and try to know the challenges they face, it's happening in my home now let me not go into details.

5 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by T0BY(m): 11:24pm On Jan 23, 2023
Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by ladej(m): 11:25pm On Jan 23, 2023
God1000:
Very bad, not all families though.

A lot of married old couples are still enjoying each other till death, I know about one, but the husband is very subservient to the woman for peace to reign in the house.

As for children abandoning their Dads at old age after going through hell to raise them is very bad.


You are wise


Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by YeeboMuslim: 11:28pm On Jan 23, 2023
gaby:


Hahaha...

I told you I would teach you the lesson the two idiots who had no business with copulation failed to teach you at home on here and I am happy you are gradually learning some lessons.

Next time, when they top up data for you to come online for your daily hustle, you'd know how to do your job without insulting your father and mother online.

Useless pikin wey witch born for armed robber.

Woe betide you urchin with a shit-filled cranium.
Have you taught your worthless children sense ?
Aren't they beating you up daily for being a failure in your prime grin
May your worthless , good for nothing parents burn in the hottest part of hell for siring a failure like you grin ;
May your children be unfortunate for coming to this world through you .
Your father was a disciple of Anini and your mother an Italian Ashewo grin grin

Mofo!
Re: Why Are Some Men Abandoned By Their Wives and Children At The Old Age? by ladej(m): 11:28pm On Jan 23, 2023
onumadu:


This is not always true. At all.
In fact I've seen quite a few cases where this happened and the men involved where EXCELLENT fathers and husbands.
The problem is natural.
Monogamy has a reductionist demand on men that is impossible to meet. A women for example would want to avenge the fact that her husband looked at another woman 30 yrs ago! It is not that the man looked at another woman. It is that she is looking for a pretext to abandon him in old age!
A man gets married and at first controls 90% love and admiration. But as he ages, and he keeps investing in his wife and kids, he gradually drains himself of that love and admiration because he empowers them while he dis-empowers himself.
Over time, he would be lucky if he controlled 10% love and admiration.
How does love and admiration come about? Through MATERIAL THINGS: money, properties, etc.
Once he depletes all that and the kids grow up, the wife becomes "free" of the kids, and since he is sexually emptied as well for his wife, he loses everything and gets abandoned.
Life is NOT sentimental.
That is why a smart man must plan ahead and keep his materials very close to himself until his old age.
With those materials firmly under his control, he would retain love and admiration whether his wife and kids like him or not, or else ... grin cool

God bless you, you don’t see old wealthy men being abandoned. Men hustle o and make sure you have properties and wealth in your old age. A word is enough for the wise

3 Likes

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