EriMma1:


Will it change anything? Ive grown so thick in this mindset. Marriage Is now like intrusion or even insurrection in my life or maybe how I now see it.

You need to work on your mind. Your current state is based on what what you have thought is right over the years and adjusted to. You can reprogram your mind if you so wish.

shortgun:
Dey play.
You are just lazy, your body will pay for your lazy lifestyle in no distant time if you continue to indulge in what you think is comfort.
The human body is not made for a stress-free lifestyle so get your lazy ass to that teeth shining brother's house if you don't want to wither and die.

no one lives the world alive, married or unmarried, we all gonna wither & die dumbo.

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

Girls who live alone off-campus are always afraid of being corrected with wrong fundamentals of life.

After graduation, the fear of mixing with people in a corporate organization with values and norms makes them go into self-employed.

So, madam, with what you have narrated about yourself here, I think you just very irresponsible in terms of coordination.

I pity that man coming to carry such burden of an entitled evening newspaper.

Just work on yourself before you go into that marriage please.

uuzba:

Forget this OP.
She cannot see anything positive about marriage because she has conditioned herself to be self sufficient.
The worst thing for any man is to marry this type of woman.
She will be inactive on the bed, inactive in family meetings. She will just be doing mumu so much that the man will either go mental and basterdise her with some wicked beating or commit suicide out of depression.
She wants to be lonely. Let her be lonely

i think that's the best option for her, if she even gets married it'll only be eye service marriage and feminism of a thing.

I came to read comments

Richy4:
I Feel you big time.. I honestly do.. But... What you were scared of, is what is coming to you without you knowing it...

I am not the type that paints everyone with the same brush but You are about to make a big mistake if you slightly consider dating/ eventually getting married a pastor...

That profession were known for using the bible to manipulate ladies/ gentlemen into doing what they originally do not want to do...They frame it in such a way that if you are not a Christian and not grounded in the word of God, U might start doubting your existence...Based on what u wrote, you don't like people to dictate to you, u like your space, you like independence... WELL, get ready for some quotes that pertains to all that...The guilt trip will be amazing...
In my opinion, you won't be compatible with any one with such profession except if God singles out an exception for you...

As for getting pregnant, taking care of kids, it is just the fear of leaving your comfort zone into the unknown.. it happens to everyone.. No man or woman was born with a kid or knowledge of kids when they came to the world... It's something that you have to do if you want to..

You took it out of my mouth.

Pastors should be off her list. If not, divorce after two weeks of marriage is sacrosanct. I am not a prophet of room, but that I have seen.

Most individuals with bad character hide themselves under pastorship and bornagain nowadays.

No mind her help us tell her!
Damaged goods

Sirqt5:
u dey ur 40s now , madame . after becoming evening newspaper wit wide puzzy wey no man wants , na to start shouting u'r too independent for marriage

So much entitlement mentality from her

She thinks the worldrevolves her bumbum.

ajakuai:



Girls who live alone off-campus are always afraid of being corrected with wrong fundamentals of life.

After graduation, the fear of mixing with people in a corporate organization with values and norms makes them go into self-employed.

So, madam, with what you have narrated about yourself here, I think you just very irresponsible in terms of coordination.

I pity that man coming to carry such burden of an entitled evening newspaper.

Just work on yourself before you go into that marriage please.

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

Just remain single
I can see that you are lazy and also love freedom

Even if you marry with these characters of yours, you will still divorce.

Is not by force to marry

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

I don't think you need a therapy. Ask yourself a question. If your brother was single because of these reasons you stated and he refused to get married, will you support him? If yes, then turn the proposal down. If no, then deep down in your heart you know what you want.

Your excuses are speculative and may not be the case. There are men that are single based on your point of view but the society doesn't want to accept their choice.

Be careful of the pastor sha. Will prefer you elope with a neutral person. Reason being that religious leaders can raise an expectation that may not be the reality which will further hurt your already messed up mind.

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

You just narrated the same thing happening to me right now.

And with the rate of girls doing hookup now both hidden and known especially in my locality here, the mindset get thicker everyday.

EriMma1:

Get in, you'll get used to it.

You'll enjoy it as well.

EriMma1 beloved… I think you need to start slowly, become friends first and just like you slowly got soaked into your single life you’d pull out.

I hope you find peace in the end, much love!

Sis, u are fine. Marriage is not 4 u. Dont bother to get involved.

I reason with you sister, but this issue of not wanting a child. Well I hope u will not ending up regreting it.

AbujaCitiBlog:

Shut up Bobrisky wannabe. I asked the female pretender to open up but you cursed imp for want of what to do and to be seen as a fighter for women left the nipple you were sucking to join the fray! May your stupidity not make you a less privileged by blocking your senses eternally.

My friend speaking English doesn't hide your stupidity. You are gay and an homophobe you damn rotten maggot. Are you any better than this individual seeking advice. Judgemental beast. Eat grass useless ape . Jump back to that tree you came down from. Animal

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

No therapy can help you out unless you work on yourself, what I dectect in your post shows you are not submissive ( this will make it difficult for you to be under man roof) constant fight may occur, 2, you need to work on your character not all men look inferior, I believe if you are good for yourself you can't be assumed what you have not come across

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

Marriage is exciting. But do not let another match make you—especially those pastors. Go with the man your heart chooses even if it's a relationship for just companionship with no commitment.

Commitment will come. See, relationship is sweet if you are with the right person.

But that does not mean you won't have ups and down. Give the relationship a try and let love lead. Don't rush into marriage and live with him regardless of what people or religion says.

You don't really know people until you have spent time living with them.

That's when you know the real person they are.

I repeat, do not let another march make you. If the Pastor likes, he should ask you out as a man, date him and study him.

Kids are beautiful and innocent to behold. I started babysitting and feeding my daughter a few hours after her birth. Her mama was too weak and couldn't care for herself much more her baby.

As I watch her grow into a fine young lady, I see myself in her and she gives me immeasurable peace and joy.

You won't until you are in your 40s and you see your friend's kids graduate from school.

Your problem is simple. You gave up on love a long time ago. Your ex must have dealt with you mercilessly. And you are yet to heal from it.

You are practically using your ex as standard. Two people can't exactly be the same.

You need to let your ex go and focus on the man before you. If you can't don't get married.

Just have a man in your life, have kids and relax.

you better travel to UK and stay there, in the later days of your life you'll be dumped in a care home where you'll be shittn on your body.

firstly you're a lazy human being.. you love your space and privacy is the ceremonial name

thought of tending a toddler gives you chills, just dey play play.

just buy one bingo, and you're good to go

ogunboy:


Is this Mercychen/Blessedmercy8? She day always return with new monika

Ah! I see! So predictable. She should just plan for her retirement and develop/indulge in good habits.

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

Madam we don hear, oya remain single for the rest of your life naaa.

You think you are doing me, you are doing yourself.

What's up dear.

Nothing is wrong with you and nothing is wrong with your feelings.

My simple advice is to get yourself together and get married. You're no longer a kid. You don't wanna die single. You might wanna leave a part of you on earth before leaving.

You're lucky someone is still out for you. Go for it babe. Marriage is sweet. It's always what you make of it. Forget the horror stories and happenings. Be close to God and He will make your home peaceful and lovely.

Remain blessed.

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

ajakuai:



Girls who live alone off-campus are always afraid of being corrected with wrong fundamentals of life.

After graduation, the fear of mixing with people in a corporate organization with values and norms makes them go into self-employed.

So, madam, with what you have narrated about yourself here, I think you just very irresponsible in terms of coordination.

I pity that man coming to carry such burden of an entitled evening newspaper.

Just work on yourself before you go into that marriage please.

Okayy nahw, we hv heard. Remain ur single self ,e no concern us. Bt see,beta go and adopt a child ,so dt as you grow old,you will be taken care of.

being alone in your own space can be addictive ......the peace the comfort tha ability to do what u want without being questioned ......


but remember 2 is always better than one .......when real lonliness set in u will regret it


push yourself and grow

The truth is marriage is not for everyone. U can choose 2 become marriageless. Otherwise, u must change ur mindset complete or else, u won't last in that marriage wit dat brother no matter how patient he would be.

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

Dey play oh

The years of regret are still ahead. Better evaluate yourself properly and let go of any selfishness. So the thing that's deterring you from the joy of motherhood and family is cleaning of baby poo poo?

burp18:

But there comes the old age, where you'd be by yourself and there's no one to take care of you. It can get really lonely

Is that not still out of Selfishness?
Cos of Old age, and no one to take care of you...??

Have you ever thought of old age? When you will grow up and you will need your children around you ?
You don't want a man to send you on errands, you need your space bla bla!! You are just being lazy and I guess you don't want to be submissive, you better get yourself together and change your mindset about marriage,

EriMma1:
This may sound weird but it's my situation now.

I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.

Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.

Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are.
As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed.
No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.

No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.

Now, back to the matter.

Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it.
Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...

I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.

Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.

Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm

We are all there at one time or the other.
It is the grace of God that kept us.
I can believe I can do it and still doing it.

All I will say is
See a therapist (God will help you choose the one )
Always ask for GRACE

EriMma1:


Will it change anything? Ive grown so thick in this mindset. Marriage Is now like intrusion or even insurrection in my life or maybe how I now see it.

Then forget about marriage. How hard is that?

SanctifiedSista:
u need therapy. God warned me this year to be careful of wat am reading Abt people with issues with their marriage on social media..had to unfollow them cos it was getting so bad, I will wink my nose wen I see someone testify of how wonderful her husband is and my first impression is dat they are lying..
I give u d same advise... Go for therapy or therapy yourself by removing every bad story or divorce story Abt marraige from ya head

you're spot on. People tend to fix every negative baggage they read online on their head, and fail to give chances to people who actually may be different from the norm. For every 10 male admirers that a lady gets, one actually has greater chances of fitting into the lady's lifestyle, unfortunately our minds are pre-judged not to see.