₦airaland Forum

spice123:
Firstly, you're blessed amongst women. I congratulate you on that.

Now to the issue at hand...

You see marriage ehh, just thank God that your own Ziggy zaga stared early with this, you will know the true character of your mum, wife and mother-in-law. All you need to do right now is to take your time to study these women in your life. Give it a space of 3 months. You will be the one who will reconcile all of these at the end but live your life freely.

Secondly: after the 3 months or even more, tell your wife you need to visit your mum with her that it concerns you and it is very critical (you know how you will persued her). Then take a knife along with you (act itooo) when you get to your mum's place with your wife, bring out the knife and tell them that if they don't reconcile now in your presence, you will kill yourself. Your mum will have no son and grandchild and your wife no husband.

Period.

Thanks for your advice but I don’t think I’m that crazy. Lol.

Your mum is playing the blackmailing game so perfectly well!!

Zonefree:
His mother in-law is the one around giving attitude not his mom.

His mom is far away from the family but she still extends her motherly love trying to save her son from impending danger.

It's either you are daft, or you lack comprehension skills

Op that clearly knows his mother very well said she is the problem not his mother in law and wife, you an inconsequential moniker on a faceless forum insists on being senseless because it has to do with Nigerian ladies,

If we should go by your daft narrative, your mother that was not part of your father's family, a total stranger, if she was treated badly by your dad's mother and family, would you have the effontery to type your usual trash on here? Sense is free, use it.

Dear Op,

The soft spot you have for your mother is what is going to destroy you and your marriage.

Your mom is evil and manipulative. You won't be able to see or tell this. Only objective outsiders can. Your mom also has no single respect for you. She sees you like someone she can easily manipulate that's why she had the guts to to call your wife who just lost a baby to be heaping insults on her.

If you want peace in your life and your marriage, you have to call your mom to order. Repeatedly ask her to put herself in your wife's shoes. People like your mom have a heart of stone. She will never see reason unless you decide to cut her off from your life.

spice123:
Firstly, you're blessed amongst women. I congratulate you on that.

Now to the issue at hand...

You see marriage ehh, just thank God that your own Ziggy zaga stared early with this, you will know the true character of your mum, wife and mother-in-law. All you need to do right now is to take your time to study these women in your life. Give it a space of 3 months. You will be the one who will reconcile all of these at the end but live your life freely.

Secondly: after the 3 months or even more, tell your wife you need to visit your mum with her that it concerns you and it is very critical (you know how you will persued her). Then take a knife along with you (act itooo) when you get to your mum's place with your wife, bring out the knife and tell them that if they don't reconcile now in your presence, you will kill yourself. Your mum will have no son and grandchild and your wife no husband.

Period.

Which kind mumu advise be this naa..
This is the most foolish advice I've ever come across on nl abi u think say na nollywood movie?

Norah199:
Good morning guys. I need some matured minds and married men and women in the house to look into this matter and give me an ideal way to go about this. Would be a long read pls bear with me.

So late late 2021, I got married to my long time girlfriend. Before the marriage, my mom had a little reservation about the girl and her family for some odd reasons due to her tribe. She’s Igbo. Everything was funny because the first day I introduced my wife to my mom. She liked her and everything was cool. They where going on well until my mom started telling me she’s having some dreams about the girl and her family. She’s white garment member. I think her dislike started growing when she told my wife about her church and she said she can’t go to her church for any reason. I was a former member of the church when I was a teenager but with time as I grew I stopped going to the church not because it’s a bad church or something wrong with it. I just don’t fancy going there and also not a church type of person. My mom believe it was the girl that made me stopped going to the church which was funny. She has said that several times.

For the record, I’m an only child of my mother, my dad is late and she’s yet to marry again. I do everything for her like her rent, monthly upkeep, and also got her a good car. Initially I thought she was doing all these because she felt she hasn’t enjoyed me yet and another woman is coming into the picture which is normal for most parents. So I did everything I could to make her comfortable before my wedding.

We did the wedding and everything went on smoothly aprt from some normal family disputes and all but the wedding was successful. Deep down I know my mom still doesn’t like my girl because of her statement s most times but I don’t always give her that room so she’s always quiet and rather not talk what’s on her mind.
Later on, my mom started complaining of the money I give to her. She seems not to be ok with it. Trust me guys. I do more than enough for my mom. I just tried my best to handle everything well and sometimes allow her have her ways with her demands so she doesn’t see my wife as a stumbling block to her.

To cut the long story short, my wife took in and was due for delivery and her mother came like a month before the delivery. Actually my wife had a false labour that made us rush to the hospital and doctor said she has very high maleria and was in serious labor. I called the mother immediately and she started coming the next morning because she lives in the East. The doctor gave her some injections and drugs for the maleria and the labor stopped. Doctor told us it wasn’t the right time for the baby to come out because it was 8 months.
The next morning when she was strong, we went back home with the mother that was already in town.

The mother decided to stay till the delivery instead of going back and coming again when she delivers which I supported.
Two weeks the doctor gave us turned to 1 month and labor didn’t still come. All these while I never knew my mom was so bitter that my mother inlaw was in my house for that long. She once asked me why the woman didn’t go and come back. It was that bad. To make matters worse, I lost my child after a CS was done on my wife. It appeared the baby was in distress which the doctors failed to notice and came out with birth asphyxia. After about two weeks, she died. I opened a thread on that.

Problem started after I buried my child. Everyone was in sorrow and so much pains especially my wife. A day after the burial my mother called my mother inlaw and asked her why she hasn’t gone yet. Started accusing the woman of killing the child and all manners of things. How she had turned her husband to vegetable and now she wants to teach her daughter how to turn her son into vegetable too. It was really bad. They both insulted each other and quarreled seriously on the phone just a day after the lost of my child. She also called my wife and told her “shebi she doesn’t want children” my wife was quiet and didn’t utter a word.

I was in so much pain and so pissed at my mom for everything she did and didn’t even speak to her for like a month even though I still sent her upkeep money. I reported her to her uncle and a few respected people. I don’t know if they talked to her but nothing was done. No body called for any meeting even her own pastor that I reported to. Instead he told me it’s woman talk. That they both insulted each other and the rest..

After that incident till date. My wife, mother, and mother inlaw haven’t spoken to each other even though I have had more peace since then but the fact still remains my mom and wife are not in good terms. I have long forgiven and moved on with my mom even though that closeness is not there but I don’t fail to send her money for upkeep every month. My wife is cool with it and said she doesn’t want that closeness with my mom even though she has forgiven her too.

My mom and I talks once in a while and never for once has she asked about my wife since that incident and my wife hasn’t called either which I don’t blame her. The last time I visited my mom. She said some ill things about my wife and her family and even told me my wife is not my rightful wife and some other things. I usually don’t listen to her talks because I know how religion has turned so many people into something else.

The question right now guys. What do I do in this situation. The truth is nothing can change my moms mind about my wife and her family. But still as a husband, I still feel somehow knowing my wife and mom are not in good terms. My mother inlaw the last time told me she wants to make peace with my mom that they can’t keep fighting forever especially because of her daughter. But deep down I know the thought my mom have about them. So I just told her it’s not the right time and with time everything will be fine. I can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong. At the same time my mom won’t even listen to me for any peace making. There are more things to say but I will end here. Sorry for the long write up.
Your opinions would be deeply appreciated.
Thank you 🙏

My post will hurt, but it's 100 percent true. My post will sting but it's the transparent truth.

You are a very nice guy, and I'll commend you for protecting your wife and being unbiased. Some men would have also told.their wife that try and understand mama, she's an elderly person etc. But you stood on the truth.

That being said. YOUR MOM WILL BREAK YOUR HOME . your mom will scatter your family. This issue is a serious issue that can be generational malice.
I'm sorry if the above hurts, but deep down you know it's true. Your mom is being selfish, putting her own desires before your happiness.

The truth is, even her pastor supports her, don't be surprised he might be the one feeding her those lies.

Your wife and mother in law are very nice people, God blessed you with a very good in law. Honestly.

Solution:
Bro, if you value your happiness and home, keep your mom away from any discussion or activity that affects your home.

Support her, check up on her, send her money BUT DONT BRING HER INTO ISSUES WITH YOUR HOME OR WIFE . Separate them like how oil mix with water.

This is the true test of every man, and the way you carry yours will prove if indeed you are a man. Just be cheerful, don't let it weigh you down. In this matter, your mom's mind is made up for war, and appeasing such people is very very difficult. You need prayer and wisdom.

I hope this short advice can help.
Every problem that has a begining must also have an end.

Cheers up bro

Time and children will heal unite everyone.

Increase your tempo of Fu$k and get children full house.

Tit4Tat1:
Which kind mumu advise be this naa..
This is the most foolish advice I've ever come across on nl abi u think say na nollywood movie?

It is obvious you have nothing to offer. You're only here to rant and insult people that are higher than you.

spice123:
It is obvious you have nothing to offer. You're only here to rant and insult people that are higher than you.

Next time don't advice someone to try and kill himself because he's trying to call for reconciliation. That's extreme foolishness even though he doesn't mean it.

Norah199:
Good morning guys. I need some matured minds and married men and women in the house to look into this matter and give me an ideal way to go about this. Would be a long read pls bear with me.

RIP to your Dad but...

Your mum should have remarried since she has just you!

Especially if she's still within the window. This would have diverted her attention from uneccesary beef with your wife.

nnamdiosu:
My post will hurt, but it's 100 percent true. My post will sting but it's the transparent truth.

You are a very nice guy, and I'll commend you for protecting your wife and being unbiased. Some men would have also told.their wife that try and understand mama, she's an elderly person etc. But you stood on the truth.

That being said. YOUR MOM WILL BREAK YOUR HOME . your mom will scatter your family. This issue is a serious issue that can be generational malice.
I'm sorry if the above hurts, but deep down you know it's true. Your mom is being selfish, putting her own desires before your happiness.

The truth is, even her pastor supports her, don't be surprised he might be the one feeding her those lies.

Your wife and mother in law are very nice people, God blessed you with a very good in law. Honestly.

Solution:
Bro, if you value your happiness and home, keep your mom away from any discussion or activity that affects your home.

Support her, check up on her, send her money BUT DONT BRING HER INTO ISSUES WITH YOUR HOME OR WIFE . Separate them like how oil mix with water.

This is the true test of every man, and the way you carry yours will prove if indeed you are a man. Just be cheerful, don't let it weigh you down. In this matter, your mom's mind is made up for war, and appeasing such people is very very difficult. You need prayer and wisdom.

I hope this short advice can help.
Every problem that has a begining must also have an end.

Cheers up bro

Thanks for your advice. So far I have done almost everything you said and I have had peace since then. I only feel somehow they are not talking but now I guess keeping the distance is the best way for my sanity

Weirdcamila:
Your mom is a trouble maker.

A serious trouble maker. Imagine calling a woman in mourning to ask insensitive questions.

Zonefree:
Guard your heart diligently if you're expecting true care and love from a Nigerian woman except your mum.

You sure write a lot of crap. Your anus must be envious of your fingers with all the shít it produces

Ireportlive:
Like my first comment stated.. he needs to move his nuclear family away from both mother in laws and visit them instead

As for the impending dangers... He is a man, and should seek spiritual guidance as a man by himself.. there are many Alfa, Pastors and Babalawo that can tell him the truth

He is a man with Sexual urges his mother can't please, sometime in the cold night he would need someone besides him, sometimes after a terrible day at work he would need someone to talk to...
All this can't be taken care of by his mother, and no matter how you pay an Olosho they can't give you the peace a wife gives

If he lives far away from his mother and mother in law, he can rotate the visit every weekend, and also celebrate Christmas, new year, Easter with them

Don't bother. The person you're quoting is notorious on this forum for writing rubbish about Nigerian women, including his own mother

Oga try to get yourself and wife out of naija, if you have the money, run away , normally naija is messed up, coupled with family problem, oga japa, they will all be fine.

I pity your wife.
Nwanyi ibem ahusiela Anya.

Oga,you cannot do anything unless your mother wants to marry you .

Zonefree:
" can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong."



This is where I confirmed you're not yet a Man. I'm very sure you didn't tell us the full story. You withheld some information just to glorify your wife and mother in-law. Your post is just to paint your mom as the bad person here.


Ask yourself, if you drop dead now(God forbid), what do you think will happen in the next 6 months?

I'll tell you.

Your mum will be shattered. She'll mourn you till the rest of her life. She may not recover from the shock as you're her only son.

But, your beloved wife and her mother in-law will move on. Within six months of your death, another man will be shinning your beloved wife's congo and there's nothing you can do from the grave. Your beloved wife will remarry after your memorial service, if you're a Christian.

Out of all your family members, it's only your wife that is not your relative. Be wise.

Shalom.

Anyday Ppl are summoned as counsellors,please don't go close .

You are evil,you and the likers of your post.

Notwithstanding that your mother seemingly disapproved of your marriage to your wife from the inception without physical evidence, the lack of courteousness and diplomacy in general from your wife caused the war in place. Your wife entered the boxing ring the day she crassly made the statement: "she said she can’t go to her church for any reason." to your mother in her presence, a sensitive and not easily forgiven woman obviously, who had seen and established herself like some sort of constitutional authority not necessarily in your life but in the larger family, and rightly so under the circumstances she found herself from the day your father died.

Yes, your wife has the right to liberty; thus, can't be forced to attend your mother's church, but crassly making that statement, under any guise/influence, to your mother on what she held dear/sacred isn't just disrespectful, but abominable. Some of you don't seem to understand the power of words - words/statements have been making and marring relationships or people of all kinds since time immemorial. The rights to liberty don't negate decorum/courteousness/diplomacy.

Meanwhile, your compromised stance, which unpronounced is a manifestation of your preposterous thoughts, has contributed a bit to the whole mess. As it stands now, allow the status quo to remain, even as it doesn't seem palatable. Just strive to take to always do whatever you know is right towards everyone involved at every given time because I wager your mother will only change her current relational stance towards you all on her volition. On her part, unforgiveness is one of her weaknesses.

Zonefree:
" can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong."



This is where I confirmed you're not yet a Man. I'm very sure you didn't tell us the full story. You withheld some information just to glorify your wife and mother in-law. Your post is just to paint your mom as the bad person here.


Ask yourself, if you drop dead now(God forbid), what do you think will happen in the next 6 months?

I'll tell you.

Your mum will be shattered. She'll mourn you till the rest of her life. She may not recover from the shock as you're her only son.

But, your beloved wife and her mother in-law will move on. Within six months of your death, another man will be shinning your beloved wife's congo and there's nothing you can do from the grave. Your beloved wife will remarry after your memorial service, if you're a Christian.

Out of all your family members, it's only your wife that is not your relative. Be wise.

Shalom.

What of if the wife and the baby had dead ,you thinks the wife wasnt shattered for her lose, his mum would be happy and encouraged him to take another wife asap.mind you op was holding some information because his mum did more than that

You cannot please everyone in this life. Enjoy your new found peace and focus on making babies with your wife. With time everything go fall in place. You cannot force people to love/like themselves.

Sorry about your loss, God will give you double blessings for your trouble.

The truth is that most marriages don’t survive this kind of interferences except the couple relocates…

Norah199:
Good morning guys. I need some matured minds and married men and women in the house to look into this matter and give me an ideal way to go about this. Would be a long read pls bear with me.

So late late 2021, I got married to my long time girlfriend. Before the marriage, my mom had a little reservation about the girl and her family for some odd reasons due to her tribe. She’s Igbo. Everything was funny because the first day I introduced my wife to my mom. She liked her and everything was cool. They where going on well until my mom started telling me she’s having some dreams about the girl and her family. She’s white garment member. I think her dislike started growing when she told my wife about her church and she said she can’t go to her church for any reason. I was a former member of the church when I was a teenager but with time as I grew I stopped going to the church not because it’s a bad church or something wrong with it. I just don’t fancy going there and also not a church type of person. My mom believe it was the girl that made me stopped going to the church which was funny. She has said that several times.

For the record, I’m an only child of my mother, my dad is late and she’s yet to marry again. I do everything for her like her rent, monthly upkeep, and also got her a good car. Initially I thought she was doing all these because she felt she hasn’t enjoyed me yet and another woman is coming into the picture which is normal for most parents. So I did everything I could to make her comfortable before my wedding.

We did the wedding and everything went on smoothly aprt from some normal family disputes and all but the wedding was successful. Deep down I know my mom still doesn’t like my girl because of her statement s most times but I don’t always give her that room so she’s always quiet and rather not talk what’s on her mind.
Later on, my mom started complaining of the money I give to her. She seems not to be ok with it. Trust me guys. I do more than enough for my mom. I just tried my best to handle everything well and sometimes allow her have her ways with her demands so she doesn’t see my wife as a stumbling block to her.

To cut the long story short, my wife took in and was due for delivery and her mother came like a month before the delivery. Actually my wife had a false labour that made us rush to the hospital and doctor said she has very high maleria and was in serious labor. I called the mother immediately and she started coming the next morning because she lives in the East. The doctor gave her some injections and drugs for the maleria and the labor stopped. Doctor told us it wasn’t the right time for the baby to come out because it was 8 months.
The next morning when she was strong, we went back home with the mother that was already in town.

The mother decided to stay till the delivery instead of going back and coming again when she delivers which I supported.
Two weeks the doctor gave us turned to 1 month and labor didn’t still come. All these while I never knew my mom was so bitter that my mother inlaw was in my house for that long. She once asked me why the woman didn’t go and come back. It was that bad. To make matters worse, I lost my child after a CS was done on my wife. It appeared the baby was in distress which the doctors failed to notice and came out with birth asphyxia. After about two weeks, she died. I opened a thread on that.

Problem started after I buried my child. Everyone was in sorrow and so much pains especially my wife. A day after the burial my mother called my mother inlaw and asked her why she hasn’t gone yet. Started accusing the woman of killing the child and all manners of things. How she had turned her husband to vegetable and now she wants to teach her daughter how to turn her son into vegetable too. It was really bad. They both insulted each other and quarreled seriously on the phone just a day after the lost of my child. She also called my wife and told her “shebi she doesn’t want children” my wife was quiet and didn’t utter a word.

I was in so much pain and so pissed at my mom for everything she did and didn’t even speak to her for like a month even though I still sent her upkeep money. I reported her to her uncle and a few respected people. I don’t know if they talked to her but nothing was done. No body called for any meeting even her own pastor that I reported to. Instead he told me it’s woman talk. That they both insulted each other and the rest..

After that incident till date. My wife, mother, and mother inlaw haven’t spoken to each other even though I have had more peace since then but the fact still remains my mom and wife are not in good terms. I have long forgiven and moved on with my mom even though that closeness is not there but I don’t fail to send her money for upkeep every month. My wife is cool with it and said she doesn’t want that closeness with my mom even though she has forgiven her too.

My mom and I talks once in a while and never for once has she asked about my wife since that incident and my wife hasn’t called either which I don’t blame her. The last time I visited my mom. She said some ill things about my wife and her family and even told me my wife is not my rightful wife and some other things. I usually don’t listen to her talks because I know how religion has turned so many people into something else.

The question right now guys. What do I do in this situation. The truth is nothing can change my moms mind about my wife and her family. But still as a husband, I still feel somehow knowing my wife and mom are not in good terms. My mother inlaw the last time told me she wants to make peace with my mom that they can’t keep fighting forever especially because of her daughter. But deep down I know the thought my mom have about them. So I just told her it’s not the right time and with time everything will be fine. I can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong. At the same time my mom won’t even listen to me for any peace making. There are more things to say but I will end here. Sorry for the long write up.
Your opinions would be deeply appreciated.
Thank you 🙏

Firstly, I want to acknowledge how difficult this situation must be for you and your family. It is never easy when there is tension between family members, especially when it is your mother and your wife.

It is clear that there are some underlying issues between your mother and your wife that go beyond the recent events. Your mother's reservations about your wife's tribe and religion seem to have been present before your child's birth. It is important to acknowledge and address these issues in order to move forward.

It is concerning that your mother has made negative remarks about your wife and her family, especially during such a sensitive time. It is understandable that your wife does not want to have a close relationship with your mother after these incidents. However, it is important to find a way to establish some sort of civility between them for the sake of your family.

One possible solution is to seek the help of a mediator, a third-party you all respect, to facilitate a discussion between your mother and your wife. This could provide a safe space for both parties to express their concerns and feelings, and help them to find common ground. If your mother is unwilling to participate, you could consider having individual sessions with the mediator to help you navigate the situation.

Another option is to continue to maintain a cordial relationship with both your mother and your wife separately, without forcing them to interact with each other. It is important to set clear boundaries and communicate your expectations to both parties. You could explain to your mother that while you appreciate her input and support, you expect her to treat your wife with respect and kindness. You could also explain to your wife that while your relationship with your mother may not be as close as it once was, you still care for her and will continue to support her financially.

Ultimately, it is up to you to decide what is best for your family. It may take time for wounds to heal and for relationships to be restored. However, with patience, communication, and a willingness to work towards a solution, it is possible to move forward and find a way to coexist peacefully.

What a malicious nasty mother you have! Chai! Very wicked woman!

Biko leave matter as is o....she had planted the seed of discord, she would soon reap her harvest. Chai! Imagine her being nasty to a woman like herself a day after losing a whole child! Chai! It is well. Biko leave matter as is! You are her son, una sabi each other. Your wife and inlaws shouldn't be obliged to put up with her sheet!

Maintain the status quo. Continue sending her upkeep, it's not necessary wife and your mum communicate for now, time might heal the wounds. Leave the matter.

If you can move your family out of that town far away from your mum pls do.


If you are not careful your mum will break your marriage.

Foodqueen:
All the blame is on your mom right

He knows his mom better. He has been with her all his life.

Your mom is a trouble maker.Your mom is a trouble maker....

Norah199:
Good morning guys. I need some matured minds and married men and women in the house to look into this matter and give me an ideal way to go about this. Would be a long read pls bear with me.

So late late 2021, I got married to my long time girlfriend. Before the marriage, my mom had a little reservation about the girl and her family for some odd reasons due to her tribe. She’s Igbo. Everything was funny because the first day I introduced my wife to my mom. She liked her and everything was cool. They where going on well until my mom started telling me she’s having some dreams about the girl and her family. She’s white garment member. I think her dislike started growing when she told my wife about her church and she said she can’t go to her church for any reason. I was a former member of the church when I was a teenager but with time as I grew I stopped going to the church not because it’s a bad church or something wrong with it. I just don’t fancy going there and also not a church type of person. My mom believe it was the girl that made me stopped going to the church which was funny. She has said that several times.

For the record, I’m an only child of my mother, my dad is late and she’s yet to marry again. I do everything for her like her rent, monthly upkeep, and also got her a good car. Initially I thought she was doing all these because she felt she hasn’t enjoyed me yet and another woman is coming into the picture which is normal for most parents. So I did everything I could to make her comfortable before my wedding.

We did the wedding and everything went on smoothly aprt from some normal family disputes and all but the wedding was successful. Deep down I know my mom still doesn’t like my girl because of her statement s most times but I don’t always give her that room so she’s always quiet and rather not talk what’s on her mind.
Later on, my mom started complaining of the money I give to her. She seems not to be ok with it. Trust me guys. I do more than enough for my mom. I just tried my best to handle everything well and sometimes allow her have her ways with her demands so she doesn’t see my wife as a stumbling block to her.

To cut the long story short, my wife took in and was due for delivery and her mother came like a month before the delivery. Actually my wife had a false labour that made us rush to the hospital and doctor said she has very high maleria and was in serious labor. I called the mother immediately and she started coming the next morning because she lives in the East. The doctor gave her some injections and drugs for the maleria and the labor stopped. Doctor told us it wasn’t the right time for the baby to come out because it was 8 months.
The next morning when she was strong, we went back home with the mother that was already in town.

The mother decided to stay till the delivery instead of going back and coming again when she delivers which I supported.
Two weeks the doctor gave us turned to 1 month and labor didn’t still come. All these while I never knew my mom was so bitter that my mother inlaw was in my house for that long. She once asked me why the woman didn’t go and come back. It was that bad. To make matters worse, I lost my child after a CS was done on my wife. It appeared the baby was in distress which the doctors failed to notice and came out with birth asphyxia. After about two weeks, she died. I opened a thread on that.

Problem started after I buried my child. Everyone was in sorrow and so much pains especially my wife. A day after the burial my mother called my mother inlaw and asked her why she hasn’t gone yet. Started accusing the woman of killing the child and all manners of things. How she had turned her husband to vegetable and now she wants to teach her daughter how to turn her son into vegetable too. It was really bad. They both insulted each other and quarreled seriously on the phone just a day after the lost of my child. She also called my wife and told her “shebi she doesn’t want children” my wife was quiet and didn’t utter a word.

I was in so much pain and so pissed at my mom for everything she did and didn’t even speak to her for like a month even though I still sent her upkeep money. I reported her to her uncle and a few respected people. I don’t know if they talked to her but nothing was done. No body called for any meeting even her own pastor that I reported to. Instead he told me it’s woman talk. That they both insulted each other and the rest..

After that incident till date. My wife, mother, and mother inlaw haven’t spoken to each other even though I have had more peace since then but the fact still remains my mom and wife are not in good terms. I have long forgiven and moved on with my mom even though that closeness is not there but I don’t fail to send her money for upkeep every month. My wife is cool with it and said she doesn’t want that closeness with my mom even though she has forgiven her too.

My mom and I talks once in a while and never for once has she asked about my wife since that incident and my wife hasn’t called either which I don’t blame her. The last time I visited my mom. She said some ill things about my wife and her family and even told me my wife is not my rightful wife and some other things. I usually don’t listen to her talks because I know how religion has turned so many people into something else.

The question right now guys. What do I do in this situation. The truth is nothing can change my moms mind about my wife and her family. But still as a husband, I still feel somehow knowing my wife and mom are not in good terms. My mother inlaw the last time told me she wants to make peace with my mom that they can’t keep fighting forever especially because of her daughter. But deep down I know the thought my mom have about them. So I just told her it’s not the right time and with time everything will be fine. I can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong. At the same time my mom won’t even listen to me for any peace making. There are more things to say but I will end here. Sorry for the long write up.
Your opinions would be deeply appreciated.
Thank you 🙏

So sorry about the loss of your baby! This is my advice for you.you see this inlaw and wife tussle,you can never win it. The only way you can be at peace is to keep succeeding. Just keep making progress...the day your finances are being attacked, that is the day your wife will finally know the meaning of trouble.Your mom can go to any length to prove her point about your in-laws,even if it means hurting you. If your wife does not have anything doing,try at all cost to make her have a means of livelihood so she can be able to take care of her basic needs and that of her parents. Your mom Will soon accuse her of diverting your funds to take care of her family,that is if she does not earn. Getting her a job will also help ease her of loneliness and depression. I can confidently tell you that she is already traumatized by your mom's irrational behavior.May God give you double for all your troubles!🙏

This is deep. I think closeness should not be force. Let them maintain that distance, that's the only thing to keep your mom in check.
In a marriage, if the mother in law doesn't like you just forget it... Nothing you can do to please her.
I blame ur wife... The fact that her mother in law doesn't like her... she shouldn't have got married to you. She can never enjoy that marriage, endless wahala. Your wife is lucky that you ain't yielding to your mom... Which I feel like it's just a matter of time 🤧


Pray for peace .

ceeceeuwa:
So sorry about the loss of your baby! This is my advice for you.you see this inlaw and wife tussle,you can never win it. The only way you can be at peace is to keep succeeding. Just keep making progress...[b][/b]the day your finances are being attacked, that is the day your wife will finally know the meaning of trouble.[b][/b]Your mom can go to any length to prove her point about your in-laws,even if it means hurting you. If your wife does not have anything doing,try at all cost to make her have a means of livelihood so she can be able to take care of her basic needs and that of her parents. Your mom Will soon accuse her of diverting your funds to take care of her family,that is if she does not earn. Getting her a job will also help ease her of loneliness and depression. I can confidently tell you that she is already traumatized by your mom's irrational behavior.May God give you double for all your troubles!🙏

Aswear 🤧

Nawa o. Your mom is a very difficult woman, who doesn't know or respect her boundary. It's a surprise you turned out to be different from the toxicity she radiates. However, your inability to rein her excesses is the bane of your problem.

Sweetvie:
This is deep. I think closeness should not be force. Let them maintain that distance, that's the only thing to keep your mom in check.
In a marriage, if the mother in law doesn't like you just forget it... Nothing you can do to please her.
I blame ur wife... The fact that her mother in law doesn't like her... she shouldn't have got married to you. She can never enjoy that marriage, endless wahala. Your wife is lucky that you ain't yielding to your mom... Which I feel like it's just a matter of time 🤧


Pray for peace .

Most of them can pretend to like you,then they show you their real characters later. May God help her! Have you seen a woman that destroyed her son just to smite the daughter in-law? It can be that bad!

Norah199:
Thanks for your advice. So far I have done almost everything you said and I have had peace since then. I only feel somehow they are not talking but now I guess keeping the distance is the best way for my sanity

You're welcome my bro.
If this is what it takes for peace, then so be it.

I know you will weather the storm by Gods grace.

Just hold God tight (even though I know you don't feel the need), you'll need him very very soon.

Cheers brother.

ceeceeuwa:
Most of them can pretend to like you,then they show you their real characters later. May God help her! Have you seen a woman that destroyed her son just to smite the daughter in-law? It can be that bad!

Like seriously, they'll do anything to proof their point.
Op case is even worst
He is the only child... Double wahala