Cut your mother off
When she notices that you no longer care about her tantrums, she'll comport herself.

Madam go and sleep ! Ah ah ah! Which kind advise be that! When I read your submission I just shaked my head, thinking it may be a 14 year old girl talking, but then I checked on your profile and laugh wan kill me! Ah ah ahn! Abeg stop, that advise no follow at all.

frozen70:


Yes I agree
But with special arrangements, devil can see Jesus
"so they say"

It is like your mother is a trouble maker. She is pained that she wasn't instrumental to the lady her only child married. She would have preferred having a choice in the wife you married. Anyway, be firm, be a man and don't let your marriage be scuttled. However, continue to take care of your mum's needs.

The stupidest thing I've ever read today. May God have mercy on you.

Zonefree:
" can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong."



This is where I confirmed you're not yet a Man. I'm very sure you didn't tell us the full story. You withheld some information just to glorify your wife and mother in-law. Your post is just to paint your mom as the bad person here.


Ask yourself, if you drop dead now(God forbid), what do you think will happen in the next 6 months?

I'll tell you.

Your mum will be shattered. She'll mourn you till the rest of her life. She may not recover from the shock as you're her only son.

But, your beloved wife and her mother in-law will move on. Within six months of your death, another man will be shinning your beloved wife's congo and there's nothing you can do from the grave. Your beloved wife will remarry after your memorial service, if you're a Christian.

Out of all your family members, it's only your wife that is not your relative. Be wise.

Shalom.

Jovialjune1:



You are a fool, a fool is even better than you

You, an irrelevant nomenclature on a faceless forum that lacks sense because of daftness, sat down in your 2 by 2 enclave assuming trash about Op's wife he never even mentioned, did Op tell you and fellow fools like you that his wife married him because of money? Did he tell you his wife is from a poor background? I should not believe op that clearly knows his mum and what is going on because it doesn't sit well with fools like you because? You must be high on dirty urine

Op loves his wife, clearly sees who and where the problem is coming from, you, and unknown nonentity on a faceless forum too stupid and dumb to reason, concludes it is emotional weakness because you obviously grew up in a loveless home where love is seen as strange, your father had no love for your mother that's why you see it as emotional weakness, dumb creature

The Op's mother insulted his wife a day after loosing their child, yet you say the wife is at fault, you are too illiterate to reason because education is obviously far from you, you will definitely shout feminist because none of you manboys here are capable of reasoning correctly, drunk orangutan

See fool wey quote me first dey say make I no quote am again, never in your stupid unknown mistake of a life quote this moniker again since you are too daft and slow to think with sense, slow slimy eel.

It's so obvious You mistake me for your stupid father and your simp boyfriend who are fools. Come Let today be the first and last time you'll ever quote me on nairaland again. I don't engage imbeciles like you. Desist from quoting me henceforth. Ode!

Poor girl..she buy market the day she told your mum that she dislike her church..Oga be prayerful cos it can only get worse just to proof that she's the wrong girl

She should have mind her biz

Zonefree:

Guard your heart diligently if you're expecting true care and love from a Nigerian woman except your mum.

if the mom truly loves her son she wouldn't want to destroy his life..

Zonefree:

What if she's trying to save him from unforseen harm? No mum will be quiet or comfortable seeing his only son going into deep shiit, and remember, a man in love sees no evil.

by fighting his wife , seriously..
Guy wake up..
She just don't want the son to have his own life..
I have seen that type before..
If a matured person see evil ahead he/she handles it in a matured way.
My brother that is maturity...
What she is displaying is stupidity..

[color=#000099][/color]

Nwodosis:
You are a good man and loves your wife.
One becomes an automatic bad wife to her husband's family if the husband is the breadwinner of the entire family. In your own scenario, you are not only the breadwinner but also the only child, double wahala. Don't try to please anybody at the detriment of your marriage. With time and when the kids start coming, the tension will gradually die off, but for now focus on your marriage and ignore any third party that's against the success of your marriage.

Maintain the status quo and do not cease to pray God to make all things right in your relationships.

peace28:
if the mom truly loves her son she wouldn't want to destroy his life..

Love is sacrificial, love endures, love is kind, love is patient,. Love is not troublsome, love does not take away peace, love does not hate,. If she truly loves her son , she should be able to respect his feelings,. Much as i hate to say this,. The Ops mum have the characteristic of a witch,. Witches eat even their own, thats why they are witch! OP continue your due diligence to her, but be very much alert in the spirit e get Y

StrongAlphMale:


It's so obvious You mistake me for your stupid father and your simp boyfriend who are fools. Come Let today be the first and last time you'll ever quote me on nairaland again. I don't engage imbeciles like you. Desist from quoting me henceforth. Ode!

You quoted me first with insults yet have the effontery to tell me not to quote you? You are a raving moving mistake of a human, a nitwit not fit to walk the earth, if your breeders had deposited you as waste during copulation, we would have been safe from encountering a misfit like you, you son of a thousand fathers

Never in your miserableness quote me ever again, the next time you come across this moniker, run like your life depends on it, werey.

Jovialjune1:



You are a fool, a fool is even better than you

You, an irrelevant nomenclature on a faceless forum that lacks sense because of daftness, sat down in your 2 by 2 enclave assuming trash about Op's wife he never even mentioned, did Op tell you and fellow fools like you that his wife married him because of money? Did he tell you his wife is from a poor background? I should not believe op that clearly knows his mum and what is going on because it doesn't sit well with fools like you because? You must be high on dirty urine

Op loves his wife, clearly sees who and where the problem is coming from, you, and unknown nonentity on a faceless forum too stupid and dumb to reason, concludes it is emotional weakness because you obviously grew up in a loveless home where love is seen as strange, your father had no love for your mother that's why you see it as emotional weakness, dumb creature

The Op's mother insulted his wife a day after loosing their child, yet you say the wife is at fault, you are too illiterate to reason because education is obviously far from you, you will definitely shout feminist because none of you manboys here are capable of reasoning correctly, drunk orangutan

See fool wey quote me first dey say make I no quote am again, never in your stupid unknown mistake of a life quote this moniker again since you are too daft and slow to think with sense, slow slimy eel.

This thread has made realise many Nairalanders have very poor comprehension skills. Either that or they are being deliberately dense.

My wager will be on a mixture of the two.

Ishilove:
This thread has made realise many Nairalanders have very poor comprehension skills. Either that or they are being deliberately dense.

My wager will be on a mixture of the two.

You are among them if you are just comprehending that the average Nairalander cannot comprehend what is simple reading comprehension

We have achieved comprehension inception

Nwodosis:
You are a good man and loves your wife.
One becomes an automatic bad wife to her husband's family if the husband is the breadwinner of the entire family. In your own scenario, you are not only the breadwinner but also the only child, double wahala. Don't try to please anybody at the detriment of your marriage. With time and when the kids start coming, the tension will gradually die off, but for now focus on your marriage and ignore any third party that's against the success of your marriage.

This is the best advice here

For me, just be neutral, if you want to scatter your marriage, make you side your mom, and watch how this small peace will voom

Just focus on your immediate family, at the right time,everything go fall in place especially when kids start coming, when kids don come, try not to stop them but limit their visitation to your mother and mother in law...

E get why.... may peace be restored to your household..amen

Reason I love my family, when we all fight, either mother in law or father or wife o etc, everything dey end on drinks and food

Two go dey fight, na so we go dey look them,later the rest go intervene, den one of us will just go outside and buy like 2 crates or 1 crate of beer with mineral and malt, na so everyone go begin take and drink plus meat den discussion go enter, nobody will ever bring the talk about fight or try to clear anything, e don die e don die be that

GloriousGbola:


You are among them if you are just comprehending that the average Nairalander cannot comprehend what is simple reading comprehension

We have achieved comprehension inception

Lmao! That's a low blow!

Ishilove:

Lmao! That's a low blow!

Don't mind me, you know I have always had comprehension problems when posts do not come with visual aids.

galantjoe:
Bullshit your wife and her mom. Your mom is everything you have.

That is the problem of intertribal marriage. You have to balance it to avoid situation.

Remember the heart of women are bad, you can be easily be k*lled by your wife and mom inlaws. They will lose nothing.

Better listen to your mom apart from religion matter, she is everything you have.

Stubborn flies often follow corpse to grave

And you have never seen mums that killed their children? Na wa for you for this terrible piece of advice .

Your mother is a devil and should be treated as such

Zonefree:
" can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong."



This is where I confirmed you're not yet a Man. I'm very sure you didn't tell us the full story. You withheld some information just to glorify your wife and mother in-law. Your post is just to paint your mom as the bad person here.


Ask yourself, if you drop dead now(God forbid), what do you think will happen in the next 6 months?

I'll tell you.

Your mum will be shattered. She'll mourn you till the rest of her life. She may not recover from the shock as you're her only son.

But, your beloved wife and her mother in-law will move on. Within six months of your death, another man will be shinning your beloved wife's congo and there's nothing you can do from the grave. Your beloved wife will remarry after your memorial service, if you're a Christian.

Out of all your family members, it's only your wife that is not your relative. Be wise.

Shalom.

Can you please give us the definition of a relative?

Man your mom and her mom has lived their own life, please concentrate on yours and since you’re not the church type I guess you find it hard to pray. Pray to God for direction and start going to church. Please be close to God so he can fight your battles for you. Prayer changes everything, don’t let anyone lie to you here about prayers. Just do it.

Zonefree:
" can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong."



This is where I confirmed you're not yet a Man. I'm very sure you didn't tell us the full story. You withheld some information just to glorify your wife and mother in-law. Your post is just to paint your mom as the bad person here.


Ask yourself, if you drop dead now(God forbid), what do you think will happen in the next 6 months?

I'll tell you.

Your mum will be shattered. She'll mourn you till the rest of her life. She may not recover from the shock as you're her only son.

But, your beloved wife and her mother in-law will move on. Within six months of your death, another man will be shinning your beloved wife's congo and there's nothing you can do from the grave. Your beloved wife will remarry after your memorial service, if you're a Christian.

Out of all your family members, it's only your wife that is not your relative. Be wise.

Shalom.

Wow this is the mighty comment I ever seen here,Baba you really make sense,na love they worry the OP,he fell to remember that no one love him except his mother,if the OP paralyzed today his wife will no where to found tomorrow but his Mother will stand still,I advise the OP to please his Mother more than Wife

Kobojunkie:
Stop using God's name to defend foolishness!

Jesus Christ taught His followers to love their enemies , going the extra mile to appease them... tell us what part of this woman's actions can be supposed love for her supposed enemy here? You heap curses on your heads when you use God in your attempts to hide what is blatant wickedness of ordinary men and women.

Hey boy! Mind your words, ohk?

dannex4adx:


Hey boy! Mind your words, ohk?

Look who's talking!

OP, please obey your Mother, she's try to save you from Trap set by your Wife and her Mother, Woman knows there Character, your Mother is playing intelligent save for you,if your wife and her Mother got a chance to fullfil there plan over you,Baba you done go be that oh,

Zonefree:

What if she's trying to save him from unforseen harm? No mum will be quiet or comfortable seeing his only son going into deep shiit, and remember, a man in love sees no evil.

Its so funny that this guy opened this thread to paint the mom black, to the extent of saying that "he has done more than enough for his mother". That line rendered me speechless. A woman that sacrifice everything, even to the extent of staying single? Damn!

The love medicine strong.

She warned him about the wife and her family and he took it for granted, now they've lost a life, only God knows what will happen next. According to his testimony, he didn't mention if he made findings about the woman's background after the Mom had the dream.

Wait a minute, wasn't his wife attending checkups (antenatal or something)?

It's so funny that we live in the days babies get married to babies and give birth to babies.

Kobojunkie:
Stop using God's name to defend foolishness!

Jesus Christ taught His followers to love their enemies , going the extra mile to appease them... tell us what part of this woman's actions can be supposed love for her supposed enemy here? You heap curses on your heads when you use God in your attempts to hide what is blatant wickedness of ordinary men and women.

Not in Nigeria where wickedness is openly celebrated. I've seen many perish because of this kinda mindset.

Montaque:


Are you speaking from experience or you are just talking what comes to your mind?

1. Whatever her mum has against his wife should be dead by now. Is the mother expecting his son to divorce his wife?

2. Have you stayed with a pregnant woman in her last months? She needs care more than the previous months. And she is delicate at that point. Her mother who is there is right to continue until she gives birth. My own MIL was with us a month before delivery. And you need to see her input in making sure everything goes well.

3. Allowing your inlaw stay with you is dependent on how they are relatable. Some people have no issue and can stay with you. Some people needs a long spoon to deal with. There is no general rule here. it depends on the in-law

Talking from experience, no emotions here

BRATISLAVA:


Really? Why? Did your spouse drop from the moon that their family can't stay with them for a bit? Are yours allowed to? Or perhaps because you got married it means you don't have umbilical cords any longer?

You sound like his mother. Is it a religious or tribal thing?

At this rate you will read that nephews/nieces and cousins can't visit each other at home. Because their uncles and aunts are married, and married people must live in isolation to make their marriages work.

All these juvenile preconceptions are what cause problems in marriage and between in-laws. Bigoted and unreasonable rules. Poor socialization and understanding of life.

You are writing with emotions them not staying with you don't stop relationships but helps cut a lot that will happen.
When elders talk listen and learn .

sexy74:

You are writing with emotions them not staying with you don't stop relationships but helps cut a lot that will happen.
When elders talk listen and learn .

Cut a lot of what? You don't cut off your friends when married, you don't cut out your umbilical cord, but you believe your family should be cut off, because the only way a marriage can work is in isolation, by your standards.

The problem is that while trying to be "unemotional", you have painted the world black and white. And it is only when you are grown you will realize that all those extremes are pointless. It's why more people need EQ.

Even people who keep their family out still have failed marriages. And by then they don't even have anyone to carry their snot coated faces to.

Zonefree:

His mother in-law is the one around giving attitude not his mom.

His mom is far away from the family but she still extends her motherly love trying to save her son from impending danger.

Na wa for you o my guy! So you be one-way traffic like this? Well, I know as humans we're entitled to the occasional gaffes, but this one is way off, brother.

The man's mother is trouble. Nothing more, nothing less.

TheGoodAmerican:
Your MIL: is a good woman. Despite all your mom's insults towards her and her daughter, she's still willing to make peace with your mom, even without your mom apologizing to her/them nor showing any remorse.

Your mom: on the other hand, is hate-filled, and will not change. She didn't like your wife before your marriage and is still talking bad about her and her family. Your wife lost her baby and instead of her to call and console her, she chose to insult her and her mother to boot.

You: need to be firm with your mom that her verbal and emotional abuse towards your wife and her mom/family must stop. It's time you speak up and stand up for your wife. As her husband, it's your duty to protect her and if you can't do that, then you're enabling your mom's abuses towards her.

You: need to tell your wife and MIL to change their numbers. That way, your mom will no longer be able to reach them over the phone to insult them. The stress she's causing your wife alone is enough to prevent her from having a successful pregnancy or delivery. If you can move to another location to reduce your mom's visits, do that as well.


Ladies yet-to-marry: Marrying into a family that doesn't like you is foolishness. I replied a similar thread this morning (https://www.nairaland.com/7575470 /https://www.nairaland.com/7068805) from a woman whose MIL doesn't like her b/c she's of a different tribe and she saw the signs before the marriage. Unfortunately in her case, the husband is abusive towards her, perhaps as a result of his mom's influence. Bottom line: if you see any signs that your future MIL or anyone in your potential spouse's family detests you due to tribal differences or for any other reason, save yourself from future abuse and depression; RUN.

Great advice! I feel so bad for the young woman. This case can be easily handled but weak men abound.

He doesn't know he's both the man of his house and father's house. Lay down the rules with serious consequences!!