Mobog:
Since I stopped calculating how much I spend I've regained my sanity. If we reason am too much person fit craze

I just minimize how I spend that's all.

my brother I’ve stopped myself. I just said I should look at my transaction history and I saw money in and money out. It’s not like I’m even spending the money on myself!

Kobojunkie:
1. If properly implemented, "Two heads are better than one." That is what is special about marriage. It is an agreement, a business partnership of sorts that if well worked on, goes on to benefit both partners in the agreement.

You didn’t see when someone was complaining about dating high class women bah? No matter the kind of money women make, it won’t really change anything in marriage. Know this and know peace!

Kobojunkie:
1. Was your wife equally financially stable before and after marriage to you?

women money is women money my brother!

Baronthecelebri:
No money no marriage

I couldn’t agree more. It sucks!

Adexgentle005:
■ You didn’t see when someone was complaining about dating high class women bah?
■No matter the kind of money women make, it won’t really change anything in marriage. Know this and know peace!

1. So because one person complained about high class women, you decided by that it makes sense to marry a financially unstable women --- a complete adult with brain and ability to work --- as a dependent , on top of that add children, only to then come online to complain that marriage did it to you?

2. If you really believe that, then why are you here complaining at all? Why not accept your lot rather than come here to try to blame it all on marriage?.

Una no dey learn at all, that na the problem.

Adexgentle005:
■ women money is women money my brother!

1. At this point, all I can say is that you are in the good company of over 83% of Nigerian men who equally regret choosing hypogamy in marriage yet refuse to accept they had the biggest part in creating the problem that is their current situation. They blame the woman and marriage and wallow in regret while they have kids that they condemn to a life of poverty in their denial.

Adexgentle005:
I couldn’t agree more. It sucks!

The reason is that when you are responsible for
the welfare of other human beings, you have to acquire the basic neccessities such as food, clothing, shelter and medicine.

You also need to Send kids to school, pay house
rent, electricity bills, lawma bill, even entertainment bill(Dstv, Gotv, Netflix).

All these are simply the costs of living a secure
and comfortable life.


So yes, living well is very expensive.


Which is why a woman has to find a partner that
would take the burden of these responsibilities
and show serious commitment.


It is very important for the safety and comfort of
her and her children.


So i apologize, if the Marriage maintenance is a bit
expensive, but the Family unit has to thrive in
order for society to thrive, and you are playing
your role as a Husband Well.

Take pride in it, for your sacrifices are,
Imperative.

Kobojunkie:
1. So because one person complained about high class women, you decided by that it makes sense to marry a financially unstable women --- a complete adult with brain and ability to work --- as a dependent , on top of that add children, only to then come online to complain that marriage did it to you?

2. If you really believe that, then why are you here complaining at all? Why not accept your lot rather than come here to try to blame it all on marriage?.

Una no dey learn at all, that na the problem.

Hmmm. Even though you’re always off point, I think the bolded seems reasonable. You’re subtly suggesting equal ( or significant) financial contributions from both sides?
Honestly speaking this will be helpful , however , this is MOSTLY not obtainable in reality especially in Nigerian settings.
Now I put it to you , what if the wife refuses to contribute but rather sees the man as the sole provider? Like she only wants to play her ‘traditional’ role ?
Again , I know your argument will fault the man’s inability to vet her properly in course of their courtship. ( his inability to know if she’s the type that supports ) but do you know that the kind of bills you both incurred while dating is quite different from when you’re married and starting making babies ? What if the woman ‘changes’ due to some reason best known to her ? Or what if they both or one of them loses the job or business in marriage and the financial burden is too much to bear on the other party ? What if they exhaust their back up ( emergency savings) while trying to salvage the situation ?


Money is extremely important in marriage but then there are raining and dry seasons, and if one of the parties chooses not to be of help and support , do you now expect the other not to complain ? Or do you suggest they both dissolve the marriage ?

Kobojunkie:
1. At this point, all I can say is that you are in the good company of over 83% of Nigerian men who equally regret choosing hypogamy in marriage yet refuse to accept they had the biggest part in creating the problem that is their current situation. They blame the woman and marriage and wallow in regret while they have kids that they condemn to a life of poverty in their denial.

So you were expecting me to be practicing isogamy right ? You think a woman would do 50/50 thing with you in a relationship?? And besides I ain’t complaining of anything, I was only saying marriage is all about responsibilities and nothing special.

OP just compounded my fears.

Adexgentle005:
That’s just the fact! When I was a bachelor, I know how much I spend and save every month. Fast forward to when I got married, it’s all about bills, bills and bills.

I just checked my OPay transaction history and I couldn’t believe how much I’ve spent in just two months.

This thing called marriage is just responsibility and nothing more. If you are not financially stable or you have other side hustle that bring extra money,please don’t get married.

My 2 cents!

You're right.

Adexgentle005:
■ So you were expecting me to be practicing isogamy right ?
■ You think a woman would do 50/50 thing with you in a relationship??
■ And besides I ain’t complaining of anything, I was only saying marriage is all about responsibilities and nothing special.

1. Mother and father did it back in the 1980s in that same Nigeria. That it isn't the popular choice among many a Nigerian men who would rather beat their chest as head of the house while slowly dying young in poverty doesn't mean it is not possible in Nigeria.

2. I don't think. I know there are women who do just that in that same Nigeria.

3. Your problem has absolutely nothing to do with marriage so your complaint is unfounded.

Adexgentle005:
That’s just the fact! When I was a bachelor, I know how much I spend and save every month. Fast forward to when I got married, it’s all about bills, bills and bills.

I just checked my OPay transaction history and I couldn’t believe how much I’ve spent in just two months.

This thing called marriage is just responsibility and nothing more. If you are not financially stable or you have other side hustle that bring extra money,please don’t get married.

My 2 cents!

get out weak man marriage is not the cause of ur misfortune

Adexgentle005:
That’s just the fact! When I was a bachelor, I know how much I spend and save every month. Fast forward to when I got married, it’s all about bills, bills and bills.

I just checked my OPay transaction history and I couldn’t believe how much I’ve spent in just two months.

This thing called marriage is just responsibility and nothing more. If you are not financially stable or you have other side hustle that bring extra money,please don’t get married.

My 2 cents!

Big ass and bress no longer look attractive!

Adexgentle005:
My brother I couldn’t believe I’ve spent 100k in just two months. Money for this, money for that. It’s really crazy out there! Sometimes I think about that too, is it not better to be single and have peace of mind?

You don’t have lotta kids yet, and you already complaining. No university fees yet , you are already complaining. My friend, go and hustle

Kobojunkie:
1. So because one person complained about high class women, you decided by that it makes sense to marry a financially unstable women --- a complete adult with brain and ability to work --- as a dependent , on top of that add children, only to then come online to complain that marriage did it to you?

2. If you really believe that, then why are you here complaining at all? Why not accept your lot rather than come here to try to blame it all on marriage?.

Una no dey learn at all, that na the problem.

You are always taking off point - I ain’t complaining of anything. All I’m saying is marriage is all about responsibilities and nothing special about marriage. The ability to feed wife and kids, pay bills and the rest..Go into marriage without money and see the outcome. End of story!

Adexgentle005:
My brother I couldn’t believe I’ve spent 100k in just two months. Money for this, money for that. It’s really crazy out there! Sometimes I think about that too, is it not better to be single and have peace of mind?

It’s a good question, why aren’t you single again?

AbdulMagaji:




Big ass and bress no longer look attractive!

Lol, it’s going to fade with time!

Marriage is how men become gods. If your wife is not beautiful, I can imagine it will be like living in inescapable bondage, but if you waited, got the financials figured out then pick a beautiful cherry, then you'd be proud of beautiful human beings around you.

Marriage is not for everyone, if you don't figure out the financials, please stay off marriage. Marriage no be your mate. Get a baby mama

That's just it

Abba114:
get out weak man marriage is not the cause of ur misfortune

Weak man indeed. Are you even in a relationship? All this kids on nairaland!

JASONjnr:
Marriage is more than responsibilities...


Marriage is far from how you view and understand it.

Responsibilities is just a task. Marriage is a command from God.


I didn't understand marriage untill I planted a tomato at the backyard and I was always going every morning to observe and check for changes an watering it.

My friend thought it was all about watering it. But in real sense, it used to bring joy to me seeing that I was able to grow something and it was wonderful...

Need I say that I was stocking alot of it on the fridge and dashed some out? Later I also included pepper to the family and with eggs at home, I was always sure of a good breakfast....

The beautiful seeds the produced.

Op is right,it's bondage,u go pay bill taya

Adexgentle005:
That’s just the fact! When I was a bachelor, I know how much I spend and save every month. Fast forward to when I got married, it’s all about bills, bills and bills.

I just checked my OPay transaction history and I couldn’t believe how much I’ve spent in just two months.

This thing called marriage is just responsibility and nothing more. If you are not financially stable or you have other side hustle that bring extra money,please don’t get married.

My 2 cents!

Save no matter how little it's is

Adexgentle005:
That’s just the fact! When I was a bachelor, I know how much I spend and save every month. Fast forward to when I got married, it’s all about bills, bills and bills.

I just checked my OPay transaction history and I couldn’t believe how much I’ve spent in just two months.

This thing called marriage is just responsibility and nothing more. If you are not financially stable or you have other side hustle that bring extra money,please don’t get married.

My 2 cents!

Marriage is more than responsibility. This year will make me 38yrs. Am still single. I feel very happy and I have all the peace of mind every human being are looking for. Am doing well financially, Atleast am averagely doing well. Everything about me is moving very fine but guess what?? Deep inside me I feel unfulfilled because am not yet married. I feel like something is missing. I feel am not complete. Life have been hard for me on till God almighty blessed me 2yrs ago. I have everything now but no marriage.

socialmediaman:


It’s a good question, why aren’t you single again?

I ain’t complaining about the marriage. I’m just stating the fact that marriage is all about responsibilities and it’s not something special. That’s all

Adexgentle005:
That’s just the fact! When I was a bachelor, I know how much I spend and save every month. Fast forward to when I got married, it’s all about bills, bills and bills.

I just checked my OPay transaction history and I couldn’t believe how much I’ve spent in just two months.

This thing called marriage is just responsibility and nothing more. If you are not financially stable or you have other side hustle that bring extra money,please don’t get married.

My 2 cents!

...when I see men who want to get married, I always tell them "your home is blessed".

Foolishly, you will see people telling the men "congratulations" .... congratulations for what ? For selling your peace of mind ? or for dividing your life into two ?

If all marriages should dissolve today, I don't think up to 20% of the men will marry again

NIGERIA leaders make Nigerian marriage difficult.

Adexgentle005:
That’s just the fact! When I was a bachelor, I know how much I spend and save every month. Fast forward to when I got married, it’s all about bills, bills and bills.

I just checked my OPay transaction history and I couldn’t believe how much I’ve spent in just two months.

This thing called marriage is just responsibility and nothing more. If you are not financially stable or you have other side hustle that bring extra money,please don’t get married.

My 2 cents!

Adulthood and everything pertaining to it is all about responsibilities. Sometimes I look back and relish my childhood days. Those days when we run the street rolling tyres up and down while leaving our parents to worry about injuries sustained in the process.

Only those who remain infants in adulthood are those who don't know it is synonymous with responsibilities, with or without marriage. Marriage is just another responsibility associated with growing up, children don't marry, adults do.

Adexgentle005:
■ You are always taking off point - I ain’t complaining of anything.
■ All I’m saying is marriage is all about responsibilities and nothing special about marriage. The ability to feed wife and kids, pay bills and the rest..Go into marriage without money and see the outcome. End of story!

1. This coming from someone who thinks marriage is the cause of his issues. Look, denial is what instead makes it all seen off point to you. You created this thread claiming your bad financially strait is a result of marriage but it ain't got nothing to do with marriage.

2. Marriage is not all about responsibilities as marriage is instead what you make or it.
■ You are stressing about ability to feed wife because you choose to have your wife as your dependant in marriage.
■ you are stressing over kids because you chose to have more than you can fit well within your budget
■ you are stressing over your bills because you chose to carry it all on your head rather than share it.

It sounds simple because it is really that simple. That you fail to grasp these simple things means you are the problem, not marriage.

Adexgentle005:
That’s just the fact! When I was a bachelor, I know how much I spend and save every month. Fast forward to when I got married, it’s all about bills, bills and bills.

I just checked my OPay transaction history and I couldn’t believe how much I’ve spent in just two months.

This thing called marriage is just responsibility and nothing more. If you are not financially stable or you have other side hustle that bring extra money,please don’t get married.

My 2 cents!

Do you have more possessions (excluding children) now compared to when you were single? This might help in knowing if your expenses is not waste

Adexgentle005:
My brother I couldn’t believe I’ve spent 100k in just two months. Money for this, money for that. It’s really crazy out there! Sometimes I think about that too, is it not better to be single and have peace of mind?

This one spend 100k dey complain

Come meet guys spending close to half a million, some even over a million in some months.

Only school fees for two children in secondary School oo don pass 1 mill self. If you come check the three terms, add 2 wey still dey primary school.

And them never enter university oo

Your only prayer is that you married a sensible woman that appreciates your work and Baba God to always bless one hustle
That we will be able to make much more hustle, take care of our family and still be a blessing to those we are better than

Like me and my elder brother go dey say when we meet up
To be a man is not a days job, e no easy
But we no go run away from our responsibilities Lai Lai
No wonder more men die before there wives