₦airaland Forum

EriMma1:
Eeiyaa.. so pathetic.
Where are they now?
Ha God help your children.

Dem beg this landlord taya him no hear. Dem don find place stay. Not my children.

[quote author=Zonefree post=122177100]Any man under the age of 45 coming here to say he's enjoying a thriving marriage with his Nigerian wife is telling a big fat lie.

That you are not enjoying your marriage (that is, if you are married), does not mean people are not enjoying theirs.
I have been married for 9yrs without issues of any kind.
Marriage is what you make of it.

franchasofficia:
As a married man with 4 year old successful marriage, I would advice single men to take note of the following before going into marriage:


1.) Marry a mature lady not babies below 25yrs


2.) Marry your friend not just your lover


3.) Make sure you have a steady means of earning legitimate income before you marry. It could be a job, a thriving or promising business or trade, just make sure you have a sustainable job or a promising business or trade with office or shop before you go into marriage.


4.) Have it at the back of your mind that the number one thing that have the greatest potential of destroying your marriage is lack of money, followed by careless cheating.


5.) Expect lots of financial responsibility, so make sure you have the traditional man's mindset to be the sole provider for your wife and kids and family as a whole, don't expect much financial contributions from your wife. Pray to God for this and God will give you the finance to remain in charge of your family and marriage, God answers honest prayers like this more than ever.



6.) Expect less from your wife financially whether she is working, rich or not, just take your eyes off whatever money your wife makes or has and work for your own money and be ready to foot your family's bills 100% without fear or murmuring, this is one sure way to protect your marriage and be in total control.



7.) Don't marry a jobless lady, don't marry a lady without prospect. Even if she is jobless during your courtship, make sure you assist her start something before you marry her.


Being broke, jobless and idle is a sign of laziness don't listen to any excuse, a productive lady will definitely find a way to start something to earn some money while single. Avoid lazy, entitled ladies, they are not meant to be married unless as second wives to rich old men or old widowers and old moneybags, avoid them as a single man



8.) The family background of the girl you want to marry is important, don't do city marriage, find time and know who her parents, siblings, cousins and uncles are if possible, know her root before you marry ghost.


9.) Learn to speak less as a man in your marriage. Learn not to argue with your wife. Listen more, sometimes my wife wonders if I am a deaf and dumb cos I can listen to her gist me about several things without contributing much until she makes jest of me that I too like ameebo then I can contribute or tell her to gist more that she knows I enjoy listening to stories na



10.) Be ready to take care of your kids not just financially but in helping to bath them, dress them, change their diapers, etc. Despite the fact that we have helps and Nannies, I still bath my kids once in a while, I still change their diapers myself, I dress them myself, I play a lot with them and they have a permanent car seat installed in all my cars cos I love carrying them about whenever necessary.





To the ladies, learn to respect your man and also avoid cheating on your husband, these two things are the two major sins a typical Nigerian man will never forgive his wife for.

You talk too much.

Fatbam003:
Marriage is spiritual. There is a battle for it not to stand. So prayer above everything

Do you think all successful marriages consist of prayer warriors?

1Sharon:
Did you get married in-between the time you made this post till now?

But none of that states that I am not married. Instead, It indicates that I am not close-minded enough to believe that even a 4-year-old does not have wisdom as far as relationships which marriage is after all.

Anyways, you are free to believe as you choose.

Adexgentle005:
Dem beg this landlord taya him no hear. Dem don find place stay. Not my children.

Oh.. it is well.

No, I didn't mean your children. I'm saying God should help his children ( the man and his family).

Landlords these days too dey mean.
Almost every family is facing this issue of ejection.

Abeg, if a man no get his own house, me I no marry o.

starpower:
My oga number 9 is the answer. My wife and I had quite a lot of issues on till this. Talk less. I just ensure I complain twice a month. No wahala after.

Twice a month

BrotherShade:
😎

Story of my life

I got married to a Yoruba Lady just to try another tribe.

Since I got married to a Yoruba woman, my life has never been the same, she prepares only ewedu and Amala for me, I told her to cook another food for me, she insisted that her parents taught her how to prepare only Amala and ewedu.

This Lady can snore for Africa, she doesn't allow me to sleep at night, na snoring she dey use wake me up for night.

Whenever we want to make love, I will force her to bath, but to no avail. She said that she bath only once in a day, I did not argue with her, I insisted that she must bath before making love.

My brothers, this Yoruba Lady went into the bathroom, stayed only 1 minute and came out, I ask her why she bath only 1 minute, she said bathing is not her thing, she is used to it.

My brothers, what offence did i commit for marrying a Yoruba Lady. All the things she dey do for house, I just dey tolerate her, na so so mess she dey mess for room whenever she eat her Amala and ewedu.

She Don use ofe mmanu scatter my family, Who did i offend 😎

Kobojunkie:
But none of that states that I am not married. Instead, It indicates that I am not close-minded enough to believe that even a 4-year-old does not have wisdom as far as relationships which marriage is after all.

Anyways, you are free to believe as you choose.

Are you married or not?

[quote author=lavylilly post=122176579][/quote]You need plenty of 2Ps and a F to live with a woman

Patience, Perseverance and Forgiveness

No matter the stories... Godly or perfect marriage aren't gotten on the shelf or from counsel and prayers, it is you yourself that builds it.
Nevertheless praying helps.

silvoclaira:
hmmm there's a lot going on in marriages.



Money money money money money

Is marriage all about money?

Raxxye:
I'm not really enjoying mine; this is the third year of marriage.
I think I was happier when I was single!

Ps: No kids yet.

Are you trying for kids or why are you not enjoying it? Care to share a little?

Godsownfc:
Is marriage all about money?

Yeah!

Don't have money and the worse

KanuSE:
Do you think all successful marriages consist of prayer warriors?

Do u think marriage can also work without some forms of prayers?

Dbestbrest:
Marriage is for the minds ready to settle down. It is not for the fainthearted. It is between 2 opposite sex that loves each other. Marriage is not between 2 people that are infatuated to each other. They are between those that loved themselves from day one and had made up their minds to live together for the rest of their lives. Marriages are full of ups and downs likewise our daily lives. The 2 couples knew they were coming from different backgrounds and must able to tolerate their shortcomings. No marriage is perfect but successful couples worked together to make their union work. They eliminate third parties from their union and they don't stop loving each other despite the fact that they do quarrel once in a while. They don't listen to side talks, they don't share their secrets with their neighbours. They don't also allow pastors to dabble into their relationship. They pray together and they do things together. The man of the house doesn't burden his wife with responsibilities that are naturally theirs. Wives help when their husbands are down financially. They don't hide their income from one another and above all, they acknowledge God as the head of the home. I married 26 years ago and I still love my wife as if we met yesterday

Una go just sit down dey type nonsense....so it's the man that came into the world to suffer....

Godsownfc:
Do u think marriage can also work without some forms of prayers?

Dey there make pant dey wear you.

silvoclaira:
Yeah!

Don't have money and the worse

In Nigeria, truly money is very important in a marriage but I just think it is only one of the ingredients for a successful marriage, commitments, truthfulness, dedication and most importantly trust should comes first, or what do u say?

Eventually you realise that it helps to ignore a lot of things, though it takes a lot of maturity as well as tolerance. If you are not doing it for the sake of the marriage then do it for the sake of the children. Trying to find perfections will only lead to seeing imperfections. No one person can advice you except yourself it's your ship navigate it the best way you can even through turbulent waters as there will always be the good and the bad times.

EriMma1:
Even thriving marriages have their ups and downs which only the fittest can survive. At the end of the day, na bills and responsibilities you go still meet inside the marriage, thriving or no thriving. So, nothing special. Just enduring suffering and smiling.

Owo ni Koko.

Bros no be lie!

KanuSE:
Dey there make pant dey wear you.

Lol, sir, u sound like an atheist? U don't believe in the efficacy of prayers?

IyaebeTheGreat:
Please share so we can counsel you

Ikpu nnegi there

Godsownfc:
Lol, sir, u sound like an atheist? U don't believe in the efficacy of prayers?

I believe in prayers but what I'm saying is that to have a blissful marriage the couple must be intentional and sincere about it, willing to commit to it regardless of any turbulence.

KanuSE:
I believe in prayers but what I'm saying is that to have a blissful marriage the couple must be intentional and sincere about it, willing to commit to it regardless of any turbulence.

Yeah but prayers should not be sideline too along the way

BluntTheApostle:
How did you come about this knowledge? Did you carry out a research or did you read the results of studies on marriages?







How do you prepare for the future? Is there a certain way you prepare against unforseen circumstances? Remember that in your first paragraph, you asked someone not to generalize a situation. But that is exactly what you have done in this paragraph of yours. You have assumed that anyone who has planned well for marriage would automatically have a thriving marriage.







Yet again, you contradict your first paragraph. China is not Nigeria. Realities are different. It is actually much easier for the average Chinese man to acquire an apartment before marriage. Perhaps, you don't know, but the average Chinese has a better standard of living than people from many of the Western nations, including the Americans. In Nigeria, a man who manages to get into a public university does not even know when he would finish. And even when he manages to finish, the competition in the labour market is so high that he might have to start contemplating a master's. In a country with little regards for education, he has to pay through his nose to get through his master's program. Despite the subsidy in education, I know how much I spent on seminars and mini projects to finish a master's at OAU. And that was after a 7-year BSc program (instead of 4 years).







If that is the case, why are billionaires divorcing as well? Dangote has divorced three times. Dino Melaye may not be a billionaire, but he is loaded. Yet, he has been married twice. FFK has been married four times. Oyakhilome divorced his wife. Pastor Chris married twice.


Even the China that you mention, divorce rate was so high until the government introduced a cooling off law that made divorce processes difficulty. Now, divorce rate has dropped, but guess what, the rate of marriages have also dropped. People are avoiding marriage in China.






The only thing I can say is that you are lucky. Only a few people are lucky to find a truly compatible partner. In fact, the rates of divorce around the world (there is data for this) shows that many are unlucky in their marriages. And I am sure there may be those who did far more research than you did before agreeing to marry their spouse.





Do you have figures for this claim?





While this advice is great, it doesn't guarantee anyone a thriving marriage. Even if your wife has a job, handiwork or education, if she lacks foresight, it would be a waste. And even foresight itself is still not enough without some bit of luck.






Again, how did you know many homes are enjoying their marriages? You have yet contradicted your Paragraph 1.



The fact that you are enjoying your marriage does not automatically mean that MANY are enjoying theirs.



Remember that divorce rate does not even tell the whole story. There may be people who are unhappy in their marriages but are staying because of the children or because of the culture of shaming divorced women.

you really have an open mind to life... I love how u dissected The whole issues... Some don't realize no one can really predict life..

IyaebeTheGreat:
Yes, I have five kids already

Five (5) kids.. Omo o..!! Guy be calming down o..! Dangote has 2kids. My former boss S.A.N senior lawyer has 3kids. You already have five and still counting.

BluntTheApostle:
How did you come about this knowledge? Did you carry out a research or did you read the results of studies on marriages?







How do you prepare for the future? Is there a certain way you prepare against unforseen circumstances? Remember that in your first paragraph, you asked someone not to generalize a situation. But that is exactly what you have done in this paragraph of yours. You have assumed that anyone who has planned well for marriage would automatically have a thriving marriage.







Yet again, you contradict your first paragraph. China is not Nigeria. Realities are different. It is actually much easier for the average Chinese man to acquire an apartment before marriage. Perhaps, you don't know, but the average Chinese has a better standard of living than people from many of the Western nations, including the Americans. In Nigeria, a man who manages to get into a public university does not even know when he would finish. And even when he manages to finish, the competition in the labour market is so high that he might have to start contemplating a master's. In a country with little regards for education, he has to pay through his nose to get through his master's program. Despite the subsidy in education, I know how much I spent on seminars and mini projects to finish a master's at OAU. And that was after a 7-year BSc program (instead of 4 years).







If that is the case, why are billionaires divorcing as well? Dangote has divorced three times. Dino Melaye may not be a billionaire, but he is loaded. Yet, he has been married twice. FFK has been married four times. Oyakhilome divorced his wife. Pastor Chris married twice.


Even the China that you mention, divorce rate was so high until the government introduced a cooling off law that made divorce processes difficulty. Now, divorce rate has dropped, but guess what, the rate of marriages have also dropped. People are avoiding marriage in China.






The only thing I can say is that you are lucky. Only a few people are lucky to find a truly compatible partner. In fact, the rates of divorce around the world (there is data for this) shows that many are unlucky in their marriages. And I am sure there may be those who did far more research than you did before agreeing to marry their spouse.





Do you have figures for this claim?





While this advice is great, it doesn't guarantee anyone a thriving marriage. Even if your wife has a job, handiwork or education, if she lacks foresight, it would be a waste. And even foresight itself is still not enough without some bit of luck.






Again, how did you know many homes are enjoying their marriages? You have yet contradicted your Paragraph 1.



The fact that you are enjoying your marriage does not automatically mean that MANY are enjoying theirs.



Remember that divorce rate does not even tell the whole story. There may be people who are unhappy in their marriages but are staying because of the children or because of the culture of shaming divorced women.

you really have an open mind to life... I love how u dissected The whole issues... Some don't realize no one can really predict life....

[quote author=lavylilly post=122176579][/quote]Your question does not exist.

You could ask thriving husband or wife to give tips on what the key mechanics for a thriving marriage engine should be. Do you expect couples to get online and share their stories with you together?

Thriving marriages are not mistakes or random coincidences. There are plans, rules and responsibilities and mental algorithm of matrimony that guarantees success 100% of the time when implemented. The goal should be greater than the couple and timeline should be at least 300 yrs.

It is important to have a home office and set up a trust with each partner earning dividends from sweat equity and contributing to the family growth/

1. Marriage must have a purpose - Building generational wealth for 3 generations in this lifetime with full participation of children and grandchildren.
2. Choice of partner - Should be someone interested in disconnecting from the matrix and living life outside the noise of informational entropy.
3. Library Manners - Should be avid reader and researcher on core futuristic derivatives.
4. Nature - Should love nature, and the creator of nature and be ready to become co-creator, hence the need to become a God/
5. Travels - should not ever make it a goal to travel for any green pasture, must be ready for local pastures and build from home.
6. Etc (Many more things I could write but would not_ cos there is no time)

When you cement all these, then all other basic conflicts and misunderstanding will fissle out as they come and and your marriage will thrive. Because your marriage is built on a solid foundation that can not be thrown away.

Emma1Oj:
Five (5) kids.. Omo o..!! Guy be calming down o..! Dangote has 2kids. My former boss S.A.N senior lawyer has 3kids. You already have five and still counting.

We love kids and can afford to train them to any level we want, so I don't see anything wrong here.

iyaamoke:
My marriage will be 20 years old in June. I have had my share of pain and tears particularly in my early years of marriage but ... I grew,

4. Submission as a wife (... robbed me of a lot of peace and joy)... will break the hardest of hearts... By the time he becomes old, he will depend on you to make sure all is going well. Then, you can call the shots if you like
5. Keep your relationship with God intact. This helps your heart to stay on course. The Spirt of God prompts you when you start misbehaving
6. As for money, trust me, the multitude of it doesn't make a peaceful home... learn to cut your coats according to your cloth, you will be fine
Hope this helps someone. Enjoy the week ahead

Wish you more peace and joy in your union. Greetings to BàbáÀmọ̀kẹ́, three-man (okùnrin-mẹ́ta) himself

Eriokanmi:
Fake,fake, fake and lies.
I married my wife when we both had nothing. We maried in one room with a toilet and bathroom built together. Our kitchen was outside the building. I remember in those days when rain would be beating us each time we went out to bring our cooked food inside. My wife and I were both graduates, just managing. Today, we're both happily married with great children, a mansion of our own and all the blessings of life. We've travelled the world and doing pur business.

In marriage, love first. Money is secondary. Sadly, the latter is what determines people's marriage nowadays which is why they're getting it wrong. As a man, you've got to be a gentleman to the core cos women are same everywhere. Tolerance is key.

talking of world of then to now,when 15years old using benz,am lucky too in d game, alhamudulia.

Laurene:
Ikpu nnegi there

lol wetin you tell am, you say make e da chop akpu