But pls indulge me a little.

What reason 'did he say'made him to come home?
I quoted that in particular you know what's going on in his head.

Someone who has done conductor work no suppose cave in for something as lil as learning plumbing.

bummyla:
My Brother! it takes one person to lift his family out of poverty! Maybe the Op is the chosen one in his family! Op did not tell us that the elder brother is troublesome! He just told us that the young man lack drive and ambition! There is nothing prayers cant do! Why will his elder brother be a conductor for some many years and did not think of graduating to be a driver, or own a bus one day! Is that not strange to you!? I have been in Op shoes before! I know how it hurts! Thank God! GOD made a way for the rest of us! Op elder brother is a good man that has been psychological programmed to believe that nothing good can come out of his life! That metal slavery needs to be broken!

Do you realize that what you are spewing here is the same exact reason why millions of families in Nigeria continue to wait for some of sort of magic to lift them out of poverty? They crowd churches that now line every corner of a country that is only about 1/3rd larger than the State of Texas, all waiting for magic to happen to them. This here is the reason why the vast majority — generation after generation — remain stuck in poverty in that very same Nigeria.

bummyla:
■ Your elder brother problem is spiritual! If you look around, most first born male do not do well in life, because they are supposed to be priest! And when they are not, they are supposed to be redeemed by their parents in Church! My elder brother was like yours I took it serious when they called me that he was suicidal As a member of RCCG we do first born redemption, MFM does that too. Long story short, my parents, brought their gift (money) to redeem their son, he agreed, the pastors prayed for him and he no more suicidal. He is doing ok just for himself now

...

bummyla:
■ Secondly, if your brother is not a threat to your mother, you people can simply ignore him, like we did to my elder brother. He eats food when offered to him at home, when not offered he respects his self and not go near the kitchen. He keeps to his lane! Which is sometime good! Now some of us are doing better, we send him money from time to time, to help him keep body and soul together. If he minds his business! Just let him be concentrate on your self and your other siblings, but please dont disrespect him! We do not disrespect him! We still respects him as the first born

But your brother, even after many years, and these rituals, remains depressed to this day? Come on... you didn't solve a problem. All you did was allow your pastors and mogs fleece your heads in the name of fixing your brother. If you had taken that boy with all that money you gave to your church to a good mental health treatment center, not only would the psychosis which had him at that point in time had been treated, he would have been able to get his life back again and even become better than all of you combined.

Oga my elder brother is doing great! He runs his own small business! And pays 3 staff. We give him money, because we are doing better and we want everybody to be on the same level ground! And he still lives in our family house!

Kobojunkie:
...But your brother, even after many years, and these rituals, remains depressed to this day? Come on... you didn't solve a problem. All you did was allow your pastors and mogs fleece your heads in the name of fixing your brother. If you had taken that boy with all that money you gave to your church to a good mental health treatment center, not only would the psychosis which had him at that point in time had been treated, he would have been able to get his life back again and even become better than all of you combined.

Are you impoverished?

Kobojunkie:
Do you realize that what you are spewing here is the same exact reason why millions of families in Nigeria continue to wait for some of sort of magic to lift them out of poverty? They crowd churches that now line every corner of a country that is only about 1/3rd larger than the State of Texas, all waiting for magic to happen to them. This here is the reason why the vast majority — generation after generation — remain stuck in poverty in that very same Nigeria.

bummyla:
Oga my elder brother is doing great! He runs his own small business! And pays 3 staff. We give him money, because we are doing better and we want everybody to be on the same level ground! And he still lives in our family house!

Wow... yours is the exception to the rule but definitely not the rule. There are so many people who fill your churches year after year seeking the same thing and guess what? They are still there waiting for the magic to happen to them. Suggesting that because your magic works for all when you are well aware of the many thousands in your churches it never happened is a tad dishonest, don't you think?

I know of at least 3 depressed people who were waiting for God to answer them in your church who eventually took their lives anyway.

bummyla:
■ Are you impoverished?

You don't see the millions of impoverished Nigerians living right there in Nigeria at all, do you? The number keeps rising each year with no end in sight. So also the number of deaths which many of your churches turn a blind eye to.

I can't count how many times people have paid money like you say you did to churches and received prayer for so long only to end up dead at the end of it all. The church no dey even bother to announce any of the deaths since it will blight their records so they simply move on to the next batch of gullibles. That your brother did not end up a church statistic means you were lucky! But don't for one minute pretend your case represents your church or denominational norm.

Ulunne777:
But pls indulge me a little.

What reason 'did he say'made him to come home?
I quoted that in particular you know what's going on in his head.

Someone who has done conductor work no suppose cave in for something as lil as learning plumbing.

According to him he left because he needs mosquito net, he didn't even bother to call me that he wants to leave nor listen to the man that helped him got there

He didn't tell the man his reason for leaving. I was the one that told the man what he said. The man was surprised because he has already bought a mosquito net for him but he didn't come with it that very Friday. He doesn't have anything to do at home. No food, no money, nothing nothing. I borrowed some of the money i gave to him. I don't understand his problem anymore.

Kobojunkie:
DownTime44, does your brother use nairaland? If he has a phone try to get him onto nairaland so maybe he can open up threads here to talk about his circumstances by himself. It can work as a form of therapy too. He sounds remarkably like someone in a slump and according to you, he has been there for years, meaning he probably already needs an out but knows not where to find such. Chatting with others on here might help him realize that he ain't alone and his situation ain't special either.

he's using a botton phone, though i think it's accessible to nairaland but he doesn't know about nairaland.

DownTime44:
■ he's using a botton phone, though i think it's accessible to nairaland but he doesn't know about nairaland.

Just curious, but can you describe how your brother spends a typical day or week? Does he have friends who he talks to? Does he go out at all? Or does he stay to himself a lot? Does he throw sticks and stones around the yard or does he lie down in bed? Does he watch porn? does he read books? How does he pass the time?

baby124:
This is definitely a script cause your mother is not ready. She has spoilt her son to this extent and she will keep destroying him. I personally suggest you find your way out of that house as soon as a you can and forge your own path. Let them find their way. You need to save yourself before you can save others and their mentality will hold you back. Just check in on your younger siblings and send money when you can. Your mother should also be hustling for herself and her kids not putting the burden on you! What if you were just like your brother? Will she not find the money?

They will all be fine, go and fight for yourself first and come back to help them if they can. Your mother should chase that old man out of the house to go and figure out his life if she wants to even enjoy the fruit of her labor. He’s a lazy guy.

I can't leave my younger siblings and mother with that my brother. I don't think they are safe living together with that my brother without my presence.

My mum has prayed and fasted on his behalf several times. Let me tell you something, my mum and late father were Muslim. We're originally from a Muslim background. My mum converted to Christian because of this my elder brother. He was seriously ill when given birth to him. They took him virtually everywhere but there was no remedy. It was our neighbour according to my parents that introduced christ to them. They came through my dad because my mum was a devoted Muslim then. My late dad had to convince my mum to take the little boy to church having gone virtually everywhere already but the sickness still persist. It takes God intervention before my mum took him to church and he recieve healing truly. My mum made a vow without being told nor compelled that she and her family will serve Jesus Christ throughout their life time. She automatically converted to Christian before she gave birth to others including me. We're known as Christian. We do go to church. Although my dad barely go to church but we do pray together as one family when he was alive. He has his own bible he read daily and he believes in Christ.

Kobojunkie:
Just curious, but can you describe how your brother spends a typical day or week? Does he have friends who he talks to? Does he go out at all? Or does he stay to himself a lot? Does he throw sticks and stones around the yard or does he lie down in bed? Does he watch porn? does he read books? How does he pass the time?

he has friends but they are also conductors. He has been out of job for a year now and he stay idle at home. He often lay down on the floor, sleep, press his botton phone, sit outside later in the day when room temperature is high. My mum warned him to stopped staying outside during the day because of our neighbours to avoid using him as subject of spiteful gossip but he wouldn't listen.

This matter tie Hollandis wrapper, come wear jungle boots join

DownTime44:
■ he has friends but they are also conductors. He has been out of job for a year now and he stay idle at home. He often lay down on the floor, sleep, press his botton phone, sit outside later in the day when room temperature is high.
■ My mum warned him to stopped staying outside during the day because of our neighbours to avoid using him as subject of spiteful gossip.

1. How does he pay for phone credit?

2. Your mum should really chill and let him be. It is not your brother's fault that the neighbors choose to gossip naw! Or does your brother cause them trouble?

Kobojunkie:
1. How does he pay for phone credit?

2. Your mum should really chill and let him be. It is not your brother's fault that the neighbors choose to gossip naw! Or does your brother cause them trouble?

He do ask me for money at times and i give him whenever i have. I guess he uses the money to buy card. This guy has shown me eh. I've spent money that i can't spend on myself. There was a time he told me that he can't continue sitting at home doing nothing. Then i asked him what does he want. He said if i could raise small money for him let him go and stay with a friend of his (conductor) probably he could help him look for bus to work with or anything else entirely. I discussed with my mum and we reason with him. Initially, I'm not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing as a man. I had to look around to borrow money. I met with my supervisor and begged him to borrow me any amount and i will pay back when i collect salary. He loan me #10,000 and i gave it to my brother and he left the following day. My monthly take home was left with #15,000 having given out the #10,000 to my supervisor. You won't believe this my brother came back home after four days. I didn't even ask him anything because i was angry. I don't want anything that will make me raise my hands on him or call our neighbours attention. It was my mum that was asking him why did he returned home after four days. He claimed his so called friend doesn't have a bus working with also. He has been idle as well. I think the friend is married but his wife had left him probably because he couldn't provide for the family

bummyla:
My Brother! it takes one person to lift his family out of poverty! Maybe the Op is the chosen one in his family!

Op did not tell us that the elder brother is troublesome!

He just told us that the young man lack drive and ambition!

There is nothing prayers cant do!

Why will his elder brother be a conductor for some many years and did not think of graduating to be a driver, or own a bus one day!

Is that not strange to you!?

I have been in Op shoes before! I know how it hurts!

Thank God! GOD made a way for the rest of us!

Op elder brother is a good man that has been psychological programmed to believe that nothing good can come out of his life!

That metal slavery needs to be broken!

I did not say Op elder brother is troublesome either. I'm only calling your attention to what you said about respect. Respect is earned irrespective of age. You don't demand for respect you earn it. If the elder brother is troublesome or does not stay on his lane, it is normal to be disrespected big time.

DownTime44:
■ He do ask me for money at times and i give him whenever i have. I guess he uses the money to buy card.
■ This guy has shown me eh. I've spent money that i can't spend on myself. There was a time he told me that he can't continue sitting at home doing nothing. Then i asked him what does he want. He said if i could raise small money for him let him go and stay with a friend of his (conductor) probably he could help him look for bus to work with or anything else entirely. I discussed with my mum and we reason with him. Initially, I'm not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing as a man. I had to look around to borrow money. I met with my supervisor and begged him to borrow me any amount and i will pay back when i collect salary. He loan me #10,000 and i gave it to my brother and he left the following day. My monthly take home was left with #15,000 having given out the #10,000 to my supervisor. You won't believe this my brother came back home after four days. I didn't even ask him anything because i was angry.
■ I don't want anything that will make me raise my hands on him or call our neighbours attention. It was my mum that was asking him why did he returned home after four days. He claimed his so called friend doesn't have a bus working with also. He has been idle as well. I think the friend is married but his wife had left him probably because he couldn't provide for the family

1. OK. That makes sense. Nothing wrong with giving him your change from time to time.

2. The solution to that is easy. Stop trying to play Savior to your brother. If he needs money for any ideas, he can go work for it for himself. It isn't like bus conductors need to wear suit and tie to work daily, right?

3. I think you should simply focus on you; your mother too should focus on herself and her other kids. While you all leave him to work through his mental demons.

DownTime44:
He do ask me for money at times and i give him whenever i have. I guess he uses the money to buy card. This guy has shown me eh. I've spent money that i can't spend on myself. There was a time he told me that he can't continue sitting at home doing nothing. Then i asked him what does he want. He said if i could raise small money for him let him go and stay with a friend of his (conductor) probably he could help him look for bus to work with or anything else entirely. I discussed with my mum and we reason with him. Initially, I'm not happy seeing him sitting idle doing nothing as a man. I had to look around to borrow money. I met with my supervisor and begged him to borrow me any amount and i will pay back when i collect salary. He loan me #10,000 and i gave it to my brother and he left the following day. My monthly take home was left with #15,000 having given out the #10,000 to my supervisor. You won't believe this my brother came back home after four days. I didn't even ask him anything because i was angry. I don't want anything that will make me raise my hands on him or call our neighbours attention. It was my mum that was asking him why did he returned home after four days. He claimed his so called friend doesn't have a bus working with also. He has been idle as well. I think the friend is married but his wife had left him probably because he couldn't provide for the family

What a useless country. A 2.1 graduate earning less than the mumu minimum wage. I think your country failed you Op and millions of unemployed graduates out there.

DownTime44:
I can't leave my younger siblings and mother with that my brother. I don't think they are safe living together with that my brother without my presence.

My mum has prayed and fasted on his behalf several times. Let me tell you something, my mum and late father were Muslim. We're originally from a Muslim background. My mum converted to Christian because of this my elder brother. He was seriously ill when given birth to him. They took him virtually everywhere but there was no remedy. It was our neighbour according to my parents that introduced christ to them. They came through my dad because my mum was a devoted Muslim then. My late dad had to convince my mum to take the little boy to church having gone virtually everywhere already but the sickness still persist. It takes God intervention before my mum took him to church and he recieve healing truly. My mum made a vow without being told nor compelled that she and her family will serve Jesus Christ throughout their life time. She automatically converted to Christian before she gave birth to others including me. We're known as Christian. We do go to church. Although my dad barely go to church but we do pray together as one family when he was alive. He has his own bible he read daily and he believes in Christ.

Gbam!

xavuv:


Gbam!

there is the problem. Waka waka . Them don carry am go where dem no know.

Ovieemmanuel:
there is the problem. Waka waka . Them don carry am go where dem no know.

I believe there is more. Like i said the solution lies with the mother

Ovieemmanuel:
there is the problem. Waka waka . Them don carry am go where dem no know.

You are joking, right?

xavuv:
■ I believe there is more. Like i said the solution lies with the mother

Wait... et tu?

Kobojunkie:
Wait... et tu?

Watchu min?

Ovieemmanuel:
there is the problem. Waka waka . Them don carry am go where dem no know.

you will waka waka if you have a child in such situations. If she no waka waka that guy probably will not be alive today. She played her role as a mother. Go to general hospital in Nigeria and watch how people die daily like chicken. If you've been sick for long, you will eat faeces to get freedom.

Kobojunkie:
You are joking, right?

no just pray you dont get situation that needs walking about. Then you see different sacrifices and all. Op sha you get patience if not ingor arrange boys beat am any how what nonsense. Better still make him sell him kidneys for the family.

Ovieemmanuel:
no just pray you dont get situation that needs walking about. Then you see different sacrifices and all. Op sha you get patience if not ingor arrange boys beat am any how what nonsense. Better still make him sell him kidneys for the family.

Walking about to where? Nigerians and mental laziness. So if where she waka to they say they should use OP as the most promising child, now what? You think she won’t consider it? All that waka is nonsense if you refuse to work hard. Nobody in this life will give you anything free.

Ovieemmanuel:
no just pray you dont get situation that needs walking about. Then you see different sacrifices and all. Op sha you get patience if not ingor arrange boys beat am any how what nonsense. Better still make him sell him kidneys for the family.

Lol

When some people were busy saying Op should not disrespect him. They were even saying he should apologise to him


Weird people indeed

OP,
Never advise anybody to waka waka anywhere. Especially when you have a lot to lose. One fake babalawo will just use you for organ donor. And most parents think it is the first borns right to be the most successful so she won’t hesitate. Also a lazy boy like your brother is more prone to Yahoo +. Na why children who have head need to venture out and hustle on their own outside of their poor background. Many things could be working against your destiny and you are easy prey to jealousy, envy and cheap death. Goodluck to you!

DownTime44:
I was told not to give up on him. My mum will develop high Blood Pressure seeing him wasting away. I don't know what else to do sis. At times i wish i had the mind to poison him silently. He was supposed to be supporting me helping the family. Unfortunately, he was a burden.

I was told not to give up on him. How is that possible please? How else can i help him? What can i do please? This is frustrating. I can't imagine crying over my elder brother. I'm tired

Listen and listen good. He is not your prerogative.
He has his life, you have yours.
Period.
I have seen many people become nobody when they started off well cos they carry loads they are not meant to carry in the name of "be your brothers keeper". They will make sure they reduce you to their levels.

2ndly, you should look for a place outside your family house. If your mum can't pay house rent, let her move back to the village with the younger ones. They can start school in the village. Mama can farm and do small petty trading. You can send something WHEN you can.
Third and the most important. It's your parents that gave birth to you all and their obligation to train all till 18. Its not your duty. If they happen not to, dont try to bevome a parent when you are not qualified for it. It will definitely crush you.
Every action in this life have equal reaction. The fantasy of God will train has turned to reality when we give birth like rats.

This will help you plan your life well and never make the mistakes of your parents.

Stress is one out of so many causes of high blood pressure and I tell you thinking about your brother will not make your mum have hbp.
One or two major factors must be inclusive.


What makes men are tough decisions. Your family will thank you later, including your future and kids.

VTJN:
What a useless country. A 2.1 graduate earning less than the mumu minimum wage. I think your country failed you Op and millions of unemployed graduates out there.

He asked for advice.

Hi @ Downtime44.

You have tried, ok? It's now time to help raise yourself from your current status.

Thank the man that helped with your brother, pray for God's blessings upon his life and family, and then politely ask if there's still available vacancy in his place of work. And since their company provides an accommodation, you can as well give it a shot and try working with them. You're in a better position to save and take of your family back home.

And for your elder brother, just let him be for now, while your family keeps praying for God divine intervention upon his life.

The Almighty God will surely reward and bless you, for your family's sake, in Jesus Name, Amen.