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This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married (52777 Views)

35-Year-Old Kenyan Man Praises Sexual Prowess Of His 70-Year-Old American Wife / My 83-Year-old Father Is Getting Married To A 60-Year-Old Lady / My 35 Year Old Brother Is Still A Trouble To My Parents and siblings (2) (3) (4)

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Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Ismael97(m): 3:07pm On Jun 02, 2023
Well, I'm so sorry for ur situation. Just try to manage it that way. If I were you, I would have been sensitive enough in the course of the one year we dated to see all these domineering attitude of his. Why now that you're starting to see all these red flags? Were you blinded by love or money?
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by frozen70(f): 3:07pm On Jun 02, 2023
Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.


I think she should go ahead for the fact that maybe, is the husband to be that is providing for the finance of those dresses and ring

Because I can't imagine providing my own money ans my husband to be will be detecting who he will impose to buy things for me
That's by the way

Go ahead with the marriage and if he continues to be acting naughty after the marriage

Then she too will inform him that this is not how we started and we don't have to keep going this way

If he refuses to change you too adopt a way of following him so that he will feel it too

1 Like

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by oneolajire(m): 3:09pm On Jun 02, 2023
You are not serious. Na these trivial matter you bring to table?

Na wa for you.

Then get your own family people to do them for you.

They re planning for only two hours event while you should focus on life after wedding.

If you no wan marry, tell us.
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by bonnyhope: 3:11pm On Jun 02, 2023
tommy589:
Manage what you have considering your age
If you don't mind me asking,why did it take you this long

She go marry herself abi
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Dshocker(m): 3:12pm On Jun 02, 2023
Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.


The problem now is; if she misses this man now, i don't think any serious suitor will approach her again.

I don't think that is a problem, provided he is not hitting her.
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by ppogba: 3:12pm On Jun 02, 2023
Indeed your are confused.

If not, you will not bring a matter as critical as this to a forum populated by teens, un- married, post UTME candidates, those that are still being fed and the likes.

At age 35 kwa?
What will you do if a 22 year old comes to you with the same problem?
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by flokii: 3:13pm On Jun 02, 2023
LeyeWrites:
Are you a woman?

Are you single?


If no, then silence is a better option.

He doesn't understand that women love attention a lot.. Ignore them and watch them go crazy.
A guy can just be on his own living life but women can't.. It's the reason most of them go jumping from one bed to another just to satisfy their desire for attention.

The OP should discuss the issue politely with the guy, I'm sure he'd see reasons and apologize. Dialogue attimes solve the most troubling issues between partners.
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Collins4u1(m): 3:13pm On Jun 02, 2023
keep running.

If you can fund all these things you mentioned yourself. simple take your purse to the market and buy what you need.

All these rubbish is because he's the one funding.

1 Like

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by freshkpomo(m): 3:14pm On Jun 02, 2023
Kajaard:


Who says a woman cannot live without being married? Why is the Nigerian society so toxic towards single women?

Look if you have noticed these signs before marriage, just know that it will continue after marriage as well. If you are really saying the truth about him being very controling and domineering, as well as always listening to his family and you having no say in any decision making, then lady you have a serious decision to make. Cheers.


Oga shut up with your Nigerian society. Any small thing una don mention Nigerian society, yet 90 Year old oyibo woman still dey tinder and POF dey hustle for gbola. Ask slawomir because me nor fit argue with all this awon woke gang when dey always like talk down Nigeria. Come Benin come see wetin small boys dey use those women desperation achieve even you go faint. I dey talk some amount when dey run enter billions yet na Nigeria own catch you. Women globally need prick, it's their medicine.

1 Like

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by PopQueenAgency: 3:17pm On Jun 02, 2023
Iyaebethegreat is 43 and is an unmarried heifer. If she can do it . . .
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Dshocker(m): 3:18pm On Jun 02, 2023
adetunrayo:
Did you seek the face of God before getting this far? It is never to late to ask God before you tie the knot.

Let God direct your choice not your age. Marriage without seeking God's direction before proceeding is baba ijebu.

God is the foundation of marriage. Seek His face before it's too late.

35yrs, not 25yrs ooO....
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by OChimex: 3:19pm On Jun 02, 2023
Fineman2:
I will advice her to be submissive

Forget, some men especially in Africa are so prideful and controlling. And it’s annoying how they treat women. They treat their wives as slaves.
These are dumb African men who can’t move their society or country forward. And have refused to build a modern society like the rest of the world, yet they have stupid egos.
Believe me honestly, when you treat women/wives/ mothers/sister respectfully, and love them so much, the submission and respect will come naturally and the loyalty and love will be massive. (When a woman loves, she loves for real) and you will be surprise how much success you will have in your home and life and business.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by zhad(m): 3:19pm On Jun 02, 2023
Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

You’ve been due for marriage since Ya”Radua Tenure.. You wasted Jonathan and Buhari Regime and Now you’re trying to do the same on Tinubu regime. So it’s hard for you to be submissive ugh

1 Like

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Timzyad: 3:19pm On Jun 02, 2023
She d form he's not my type all this while, now 9:30pm don meet am.
tommy589:
Manage what you have considering your age
If you don't mind me asking,why did it take you this long
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by ForbesHomeDeals(f): 3:20pm On Jun 02, 2023
Be submissive that's my advice

1 Like

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Lama70(m): 3:21pm On Jun 02, 2023
Why are you worried?
You asked for the trouble. I usually tell your category of women that i know to marry quitely and face the business of marriage squarely. A forty year old man that his mother is buying wedding ring for may not be okay financially. What will you peopke eat after wedding?

The same folks that confused you initially from getting a man are still around the corner, wishing you were never married. I don't have issues if you were younger.

Wipe those your percieved complaints off the table and just do small thing.

2 Likes

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by kosiebe(m): 3:21pm On Jun 02, 2023
Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise
Picture 😎
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Babaibe: 3:21pm On Jun 02, 2023
You better manage him.You are close to 40,market may nit be so good for you
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Pmedia7787: 3:22pm On Jun 02, 2023
Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.



Stop the wedding thing and ask deep questions
It's either one or both of you are not matured

Meanwhile..as for clothing...the female decides most of this,
Where the guy is quite closer to the his mum...be careful.. because the family will be responsible beyond what you see now..
They will be home once you give birth...they will deny your people access
If your people can't talk...you will be left all alone ...which can lead to metal problems....
Pray to the One that gives the best direction on this after which...you must be able to stand on what you want...or wait more for the guy to learn

1 Like

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by pongwa(m): 3:23pm On Jun 02, 2023
Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

simple submissiveness you have missed it. How will you survive the main marriage? Save yourself the stress and quit now. It won't end well
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by equitorial1(m): 3:23pm On Jun 02, 2023
Fineman2:
My name is Dora.

I am 35 years old and everybody keeps reminding me that age is no longer on my side.

My fiance and I have been dating for more than one year and we are getting married soon.

My fiance is 40 years old and he has never been married.

The relationship was really good when we started but now that our wedding is in a few weeks time, he has shown how controlling he can be.

From the choice of the wedding dress, to the bridesmaids selection, to the colour of the day, he wants to be in charge.

He also wants his mum to buy the cloth for our engagement as well as buy our wedding ring.

He does whatever his family says without seeking my opinion and it almost seems as if I am not the one getting married.

I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.

Are these not red flags I should run from?

I am confused, please advise me.

One word "run"!

1 Like

Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by DaveHarry(m): 3:26pm On Jun 02, 2023
Retards


Everywhere!


Women don't ever want to see a man who's in charge. the moment they see one they complain like Op is doing
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Barbiturate(m): 3:26pm On Jun 02, 2023
Though he's wrong, he should have carried you along, but you should go ahead with the wedding. When you get in and you give him a male child, then you should start speaking up to things you don't like. You will start to open your eyes for him to know that you're not borlor! He will have no choice than to adjust and carry you along. Just be patient for now.

Normally, na woman dey get wedding. Na my woman choose colour, arrange cake, etc.
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Excellentmind: 3:26pm On Jun 02, 2023
Fineman2:
My name is Dora.


I told my parents about how this makes me feel and they just asked me to endure because I am getting older but I really fear for what is going to happen after the wedding.



The marriage is not consummated, yet, you have told your parents; marriage is for matured minds, until you realize it, success will be a huge task.
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Enemyofpeace: 3:27pm On Jun 02, 2023
Mayeldah:


Baba, your dad deserves a refund for those school fees paid years back grin
why? What are you talking about?
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Nobleou(m): 3:29pm On Jun 02, 2023
photo of the lady or you are a chronic liar
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Kobojunkie: 3:30pm On Jun 02, 2023
DaveHarry:
Retards
Everywhere!Women don't ever want to see a man who's in charge. the moment they see one they complain like Op is doing
To be in charge is not same as being controlling. Being in charge means taking responsibility for those things that are your responsibility. undecided
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by nedekid: 3:31pm On Jun 02, 2023
At this age and so close to marriage, I'd recommend you lock up and go through with the marraige, drop one or engines and if it does not work out, you desolve it.
Atleast you carry the chips of Mrs on your shoulder, you also have 2 puppies from 1 man. And if you are abroad, you can take his house and get a decent allowance from him, if he is rich, you cash out, asumming he has not wisened up like that guyman footballer. cool
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by ThatCEO: 3:32pm On Jun 02, 2023
obinna58:

Are you so blind? She wants a man she’ll control and thought she found him only for things to overturn at the dying minute

He took the wheel at extra time and she’s not having it

I believe the guy shd be d one to call it off, n find another woman, perhaps someone 10 years younger will even have his mumu button.

There can only be one captain. Even among lions, there is only one king.

Those two are not compatible.
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by luckyz4rea(m): 3:34pm On Jun 02, 2023
ednut1:
did these 3 pastors not seek the face of God Okotie, Oyakhilome and iginla

To the poster the signs of suffering are there. It will only get worse

Let me make things clear. You can seek the face of God to get a wife, did you do what he says to keep the marriage? So don’t make seeking God’s face regarding marriage look like evil. You should refer to millions of marriages that failed without seeking God and those that sought other gods.
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by ultimateprof: 3:34pm On Jun 02, 2023
Marriage is not by force, I will advise you to advice yourself!
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by luthur5: 3:35pm On Jun 02, 2023
Our mentality needs to change on single ladies.
Kajaard:


Who says a woman cannot live without being married? Why is the Nigerian society so toxic towards single women?

Look if you have noticed these signs before marriage, just know that it will continue after marriage as well. If you are really saying the truth about him being very controling and domineering, as well as always listening to his family and you having no say in any decision making, then lady you have a serious decision to make. Cheers.

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