folake4u:


Na this one kill me. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I borrowed it from Maggie. . Since the day i read it it got stuck. 😂😂😂😂

Persephone1:
I borrowed it from Maggie. . Since the day i read it it got stuck. 😂😂😂😂

Klass99:


Example 2 - Is sort of tied to example one, let me explain. I am an action oriented person I like to get things done speedily when I set my mind to it. As such I don't like slackers or people who slow my runs, when I was ready to get that orthopaedic mattress I asked one of my friends in example one, if he could please accompany me to make the purchase and be a second pair of eyes for the best deal possible.

1. We agreed on a time for Saturday morning, then oga began to delay, after 30 minutes or more of waiting I told him not to bother. I took off to the store got the mattress, paid for delivery and went about other business. He still had the guts to tell me I lack patience and lecture me about patience being a good virtue for a woman to have. I restrained myself from insulting him that day ehn.

2. Additionally, your point four is not something I like or enjoy doing, but it is considered feminine and womanly by most. I hate cooking! I can have all the ingredients for a tasty yam sauce, yet, I would rather boil yam and use red palm oil, salt and pepper to eat it. I hate it when a man (friend or date) says......so when am I going to eat your food/soup or when am I coming to your house for lunch? The thing dey vex me die!

3. Again, it is the expectation that as a woman you will naturally take care of the people around you in any setting, by cooking for them or catering to their needs. But guess what I don't want to do that and don't assume because I am a woman I should automatically gravitate towards it. Allow me to take the lead or initiative on that, no dey ask me yeye question. You no know where dem dey sell food before?

folake4u:


I can't fully remember the full details but she was like, elegant women shouldn't be caught wearing some type of colours and what not. And also made reference on hair colour for braids/wig.

And then she said elegant women shouldn't wear crocs. Na there I cross the line because I joined the Crocs family recently and it is super comfortable.

Yes yes. Femininity is also knowing your body type and dressing accordingly.

I found a website that allows one to know colours that will suit an individual. And it works perfectly for me.

https://colorwise.me/

You can check it out.

My colour guide is the Deep Winter Palette and these colours suit me best.

folake4u:



True. I agree that there are women who don't want to be disrespected by men.

That IG post you shared is a common reality these days. It's so sad. I see some women babysitting their Men and I'm always amused by such.

This thing is also common in the southern parts of Nigeria. There are communities in Edo and Delta that the Women are sole providers and the men cross legs and balance at home doing nothing. You'd be shocked.

In Agbor, Delta State, it is women that ride okada bike, keke and bicycles.

The first time I visited there, I was culturally shocked.

Lol. I like some comments from Ybaby. Na sabi woman she be.

(correct ones o! Not sit like this, do neck like this, money is the only thing a man needs to have, don’t wear this colour classes).

Also note that this discussion is geared towards relationships/marriage.

Thank you.

bukatyne:
.
Modern feminism and the West generally have continued to batter masculinity churning out feminine men.

Klass99:


1. I don't know or can't remember what his excuse was but it is a habit and recurring pattern with him, which is why I told him not to bother that day and went on my own. He is a Christian but in his mind patience looks good or better only on women. The nerve to still blame or accuse me when he was wrong was so annoying.

2. Abeg abeg abeg, I am not watching it. Boiled yam and palm oil takes minimal time and effort to prepare . Any other method will require standing in the kitchen to dice and chop up vegetables or blend, then fry a little, etc. That is too much time and effort for my lazy bum.

bukatyne:
I ask jamb questions, I get jamb answers and start running away from marking scripts.

Let me dig in.

bukatyne:


1 & 2: it is like repackaged gold digging and that's not the concept of femininity I am referring to. Folake4u has a chart down this page that talks about femininity and Masculinity. Unfortunately, our mothers might not be good examples either. Like Poco said on one thread (maybe even this), most mothers did not really understand men themselves so did not teach their daughters well. That is a topic for another day. Serious femininity coaches know that an ill behaved, cheating, disrespectful husband is bad news and would not let you rest in your feminine in the relationship/ marriage. How can you show vulnerability and trust to a husband you are trying to outsmart or monitoring his phone like a gate man? Those coaches that excuse male excesses usually think of short term relationships than marriages.

3. Bold: true

4. I don't know if the context of leadership is in the home. If it is, then a woman's best bet is allowing her husband to lead in his masculine while she follows and supports in her feminine else she would be frustrated and the man would still want to reap the 'dividends' of leadership Seen it happen over and over again. This doesn't apply outside the home.

bukatyne:


This your quoting pattern na wa.

Correct ones, just two or three I know . I would drop their handles here. Though I have never attended any of their private classes.

1. https://instagram.com/thefemmeguide?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

2. https://instagram.com/petiteandfeminine.ng?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

3. https://instagram.com/afrofemininemuse?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

1. General femininity, using it to win at work, life & relationship. Think levelling up. I think Black American

2. Target audience is single Christian women looking for godly masculine men. Nigerian

3. Target audience is wives in troubled marriages trying to turn things around. A firm advocate of 100% providing husbands. Kenyan.

Hathor5:
Bukatyne

You said that you can learn to be feminine in classes. Please give me an example of one thing people would teach/learn in these classes. I am very curious.

Klass99:


🤣🤣🤣🤣. I watched it o, that guy is something else.

Nia69:
@Bolded 😂😂 I just wanted to make things clear so there won't be confusion.

Okay, thank you for listing them.

bukatyne:


You are welcome.

I ought to charge you for this list . I gather some IG vendors charge for their plug list.

folake4u:


1. I was totally pissed when I saw comments here on a Nairaland thread that "All career women have sugar daddies" and "She slept her way up the ladder". Such disgusting mentality. That's how I even saw on Twitter of how some people labelled Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Chimamanda Adichie an ashawo. If I wasn't amused that day, I'd be lying.

2. I will check for the Bobby Valentino song. Thanks for this.

So true. These days, there are feminine men scattered all over the place and I don't even know what to say about such.
I still prefer the traditional men though.

3. Hahaha. Sure thing. I'm very observant.

A. Yes yes. I love female Bosses a lot. I can say I'm privileged to have enjoyed all female Bosses I've been with in the past. The last one was a female Judge during my law school days, she was super nice to me and she mentored me till I was done doing Externship at her court.

B. Do you get??! Tell me which lady who doesn't love to experience the princess treatment.

C. Oh thankfully, you've experienced that in court. I always cringe when female Judges are referred to as Sir. I also hate when we're tagged "Gentleman in skirt". 😂😂😂Abi I kuku be cross dresser oh.

D. Lol. I always say my No with a soft, warm smile. My voice won't be domineering, it will be firm but always with a wide smile. It leaves people confused. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

5. Or a woman is a tigress with man A and becomes a dove with man B.

This!!!!!! This is my story, this is my song.

Well, you can't blame me. Man A made the masculinity part of me to jump out. Man B activated my feminine side and I'd be wondering how Tigress turn to cute puppy.

E. Lol no wahala.

Klass99:


Guy 1 looked for trouble on his own o, and to think it was a queen size mattress . But I have learnt and I am still learning to make use of their masculine strength.

cococandy:


This is nairaland rhetoric. It’s not a thing. It doesn’t exist.

bukatyne:


Depends on what you want to learn.

My previous post (just two posts prior) lists three femininity coaches targeting three different areas.

You could learn how to carry yourself better, nurture your femininity, relate with your husband to get better results aka to be more masculine, choose a masculine man, use your femininity to win at work etc. etc.

PrimadonnaO:


Lol


I'm lost myself.


Concepts can get really confusing.

Now I've been thrown into a state where I'm critically assessing my femininity.

All I know is that I'm a woman who wants to always be a woman in all the lifetimes available.

Am I soft and demure?
Do I speak with a soft, caressing voice?

Lol

It's so funny to imagine, please.

I guess a man will have to answer on my behalf.

Ultimately, it would seem as though women are being taught to conform to a new standard . It happens every decade.

Perhaps we're leaving the age of feminism... to femininity.

bukatyne:


I don't make my 'conclusions' on western concepts from Nairaland.

bukatyne:


@bold: 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 so funny.

Oya ask the men beside you let's measure your femininity on a scale.

cococandy:


1. At bold. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t see where you are coming from with that. That’s why when a Nigerian woman says she wants/supports strict traditional roles in her marriage, I don’t judge as long as she’s not in denial as to why any other method won’t work. The reason being that the men will not want to do the responsibilities of being the leader but will want to jump in when it’s time to reap the benefits. So I get it.

2. However, “lead in his masculine and follow in her feminine” are part of the new buzzwords making the go round nowadays which when dissected usually doesn’t come down to much except let him provide money and call all the shots while she takes care of the home. It may not be what you mean by it but ask the people who 100% agree with that and you’ll (maybe) be surprised that’s what they understand by home leadership and followership.

3. So no I don’t think that applies to all homes. If the woman is the better leader, the man would do well to defer to her and vice versa. In addition to what you’ve seen happening over and over again (which I don’t disagree with BTW)

4. I have also seen homes where the woman who was clearly a better leader decided to let the man lead because that’s what she was expected to do and the man led them to ruins. Many dysfunctional homes today are not that way because the woman was leading. They are that way because the man was leading. Chromosomes do not determine leadership qualities. The only reason why some female led homes run into issues is because outsiders feel the need to tell them what to do, mock them, and put pressure on them to conform to traditions.

5. I think it’s best for couples to determine what works for them as they grow and age together. Then, apply it to their relationship regardless of what people think they should be doing. Like I usually add, as long as it’s fair and no one is carrying a larger burden all the time, it’s golden. 👌🏽

cococandy:


To me that’s still a bit vague. How specifically is someone going to nurture their femininity? It is by only wearing certain styles of clothing? Only speaking in certain ways? recalibrating their body language?

PrimadonnaO:


LOL

After asking each of them what femininity means to them, abi?

Too much wahalurr!

bukatyne:


I believe I have stated earlier that I am not concerned about femininity and femininity coaches who think ALL women should become robots to fit a mold; they are ofeges (aka fake).

Nurturing your feminine energy starts with taking care of yourself. Pampering your self, indulge in good, soft music (for instance when I watch Toni Braxton's Spanish Guitar), I feel like the guitar after a while. Imagine me playing that after I have used my bodyscrub, rubbed olive oil over myself lightly and just laying nude on my bed. Soft life, no gra gra.

While, there is no universal way to act, there is feminine and masculine carriage. The thing that makes you see someone afar off and guess it is a woman coming; ditto a man.

Again, femininity might need 'Nurturing' when you work in a masculine environment. Imagine a lady who climbs towers to install masts; she would pick up masculine vibes, Channel her masculine energy in relating to people around her. She needs to remind her soul that it is feminine when she gets home.

And yes, there is a feminine way to talk. Not tone/pitch or whispering; it is by conjuction of sentences. That's why you read some people's posts here and assume they are male or female especially when they don't have the label. For instance, ladies calling themselves b!tches, baddies, guys, talking like agberos etc is unbecoming. Some masculine, some an outright insult to sensibilities.

cococandy:

Okay.

Western in this conversation refers to America and Europe etc right?

1. Do you sincerely believe all these countries who are doing better by worldly metrics lack manly men?

2. Also what does that even mean and why is it a bad thing?

3. Because the only time I hear internet (NL and Reddit) people complaining of feminization of men, is when they are asked to respect women as they would like to be respected which makes me look at them and wonder why they think that’s a weakness.

bukatyne:
. A woman who wants to lead or has to lead is better off single (I call them married but living single).