₦airaland Forum

addmole:
You do not understand the post. You didn't read where I said, she does only 1 round and its missionary style and that's it. She pushes you to get up and leave her. She would even hiss at you. She would complain that you last so long that I should cum and get up.

I’m forced to write something to you because you seem so confused and at the same time, your words on here shows you still want the marriage to work.

As a lady, I want to say that one probable cause why she is behaving that way could have to do with your hygiene. Ladies who are hygienic and have their own things going for them will do all it takes to avoid a man whose hygiene is poor. Girls who lay down for an unhygienic man solely for monetary gains always cry to themselves afterwards.

So check your self, mouth odour, body odour, your nails, bathe twice a day, change your clothing daily, use a nice deodorant and perfume

Another cause could be the fact that she wasn’t really into you before marriage, she forced the show of likeness/love so you could marry her. Now if this is the case, there is nothing you can do about it. She seems to have the backing of her family who do not see anything wrong with her leaving the marriage.

addmole:
2 days ago, it was the day set for the 1 round we were supposed to make love, she just said, something is on her face. I wish I can describe it. I was like, why Is it that anytime its when we want to make out is when you must have en excuse, she just shouted at me, that I should go that i dont care. I was like, this was the same person who was jumping and telling me she wants to fix a nose ring. Very healthy and bouncing all over the place, but when it comes to my usual 1 round on the old timetable. She would look for an excuse. Her mother shouted at me that if I want to divorce her, I should go ahead that she's tired of settling our differences.

addmole:
She was not a virgin before I MARRIED HER. Infact I know her ex. Though she doesn't cheat on me. She loves to be alone, make money, cruise, vibes with her friends, family. But not with me. Dont cuddle her, don't tickle, don't laugh with her. She gets angry with every little thing. Doesnt apologise. I once cheated on her but apologised. But now, she's starving me of sex, coupled with the height of disrespect from her. Last time I CALLED her elder brother about our frequent quarells. He just said he would talk to her. But he never did. Her mother shouted at me, if i wanted to divorce her, i should go ahead. So much quarells. I am tired. She even left the family prayer whatsapp group i created. OMO, I don't know what to do. I am just tired.

Offpointng:
Reason why I tell young men like myself, Dont allow Love becloud your senses of reasoning. Trust me the sign were always right there, you were just blind to it

I used to have what you'd call an Ex then, Same way OP describe his wife was exactly who she is. Twinkling annoys her and she immediately changes it for you, hugs from the back esp when she's in the kitchen immediately changes her mood and get her so angry, Simple romance like hugging (common hugging) she'd push you away, You can't have a healthy and Intelligent talk with her, Always defensive and hardly apologises, Any Play other than the use of mouth to call each other Big head is a No No for her, Loves sleeping like some descendants of Koala, So boring and everything bored you can think of. Firstly, I thought all these happened cuz she's still a Virgin at that age, but I've got Virgin friends that we play and have lotta fun without having sex and are not so boring like she is. Later Got to find out that's just who she was, not cuz she's a virgin or something

So that faithful night we were all loved up on chat and we chatted till she wanted to sleep and told me we'd chat the next day, so we said the lovers Good night and went to bed. But before I got to sleep, I told myself I'm so done with this girl. Normally, she always expects I do the Good morning text first or the Good morning call all the time. But this time, woke up and din call her or text her Good morning, I went bout my normal day activities like she never existed. All those time till in the evening she never call or texted until I uploaded a picture of Myself and my guys chilling bfr we replied the status and of cuz some Rude Bullshit text, I read and din reply.

She called me that night bout twice and I din pick nor returned the call, of course she took to WhatsApp again forming boss lady, I made sure i read and din reply and went to sleep putting my phone on flight mode incase she wanna disturb my sleep with calls.

Oooboy I dabaru that girl head cuz we had no fight the night bfr, we chatted so cool and was even talking bout marriage plans next day she kept calling and calling, pick for where. took her sis phone to call me unknown to me I picked, my people come see cool broken voice that I've not heard in months. I immediately cut and blocked. Any she took to crying on VN telling me if she's done anything forgive me bla bla, But nigga man's mind was made up. She got into depression and every effort her, her friends, her family made to reach out to me, I blocked em all. I moved on. Well after so many months I'm glad to let y'all know she's still single cuz I doubt any guy can be patient with her like I was

So Op the signs were always there, you just turned blind eyes to em.

addmole:
I decided to respond to you. For you taking out so much time to write this. I have to correct you since also you are a female.
Thank you. Now pay attention:
Our sex life was great when we were dating. She does all manner of stuff then TO SPICE IT UP.
INFACT, I once paid for her to travel to ITALY because she said she wanted to go to ITALY to 'hustle'. Though, the person ate the money and it didn't work out again. So since then, I used to wonder that, someone who wants to go to 'Italy to hustle' with her body, but yet, I decided to marry her and then she acts weird. But few months to getting married, she started shutting herself that no more sex until we got married. Though I was already planning the whole marriage thing.
Guess what? After marriage, the night of marriage, my wife refused to follow me home. SHE SAID SHE WOULD COME THE NEXT DAY. That she wants to count money they sprayed us. It was her family members that told her, never that she should move to her husband's house that night.

OK LISTEN.
The few months after marriage, I started seeing some signs, quarells, she would narrate me to her family about how we make love and all that, but later it stopped before her sister called me a dog. The sex I am talking about not the regular great sex you make out with a woman after marriage. Its only missionary style and you cannot spend more than 15mins. I am not capping or trying to make you pity me. I am 100000% telling you the truth. After that, no more sex, no more rounds.

The only time my wife satisfied me was when one day she took a lot of alcohol and told me she wants to get drunk to satisfy me. that was the day. It was 2 years ago. Since then, it has been vibes.

The infidelity part was because of her constant denial, quarells. Imagine trying to meet with your wife and she would give you an elbow. She would kick you, push her self away. This was before the infidelity. This was what she did. I became frustrated and after everything. She changed. She started behaving well with the usual 1 round 3 times per week. Until recently, she changed the formula to the normal 1 round and 2 times per week. The 1 round cannot even pass 15mins - she would start yelling you to get up. Omo, I go get up o make she nor say an rape. LOL. That was the formula. I am a man. I cannot go 1 round. EVEN MY PASTOR TOLD HER. She promised him she would change but turn again to the usual formula.

OK LISTEN. In the areas of finance, I buy her gifts. Even after the infidelity. I bought her a very expensive gift. I would not say it here so her family members doesn't get to understand this post.

YOU MIGHT SAY SHE IS TIRED - My dear, she only cooks in our house 1 time per week. Thats on SATURDAY. THE OTHER DAYS are cooked by her brother. YES, her brother stays with US IN the house . The male cook is her junior brother. He does all the washing, cleaning, cooking in the house during the days. My wife is focused on her business and money and everything. I am doing very comfortable as well. I would not want to be too detail on that.

DISRESPECT
This is the height of it. Someone who hisses after her normal 1 round of sex with you. Ha, sometimes I go just dey look stupid cos of this woman because everyone says I should be patient. Patient for 5 years. She's not even ready to change but making it worse. I am not even capping. She would re-adjust quickly and push you out when you are making out and wants to spend more than 15mins. NO KISSES AND NO SO MUCH TOUCHING. The worst is the shouts she does. Its the disrespect I hate most. Sometimes, when the urge gets too much and i try to come back, she would shout at you. That she's tired. She would even run to the sitting room and lock herself.

My wife told me she wanted to fix a nose ring. SHE SAID she wants it. i told her. i do not like the idea of that. It doesn't make her look responsible. She is very healthy and doing really great. She really knows how to respect her family members, and people outside, give correction and advice. But to me at home, She disrespect, shouts, talks back at you. Even when i try to calm her down to talk to her. She would get up and go back to her room. We sleep in a separate rooms. We stay separately right from when we got married. mAYBE THATS THE CAUSE. But at this time, I just pray God helps me. I am not looking for pity. I just want to know why some women act this way.

My wife doesn't care about satisfaction. SHE DOESNT CARE. She doesn't cheat. YES, I know that cause i have seen her chats many times even without her knowledge.

SHE WOULD BOAST TO ME THAT SHE CAN STAY 1 YEAR WITHOUT SEX.

addmole:
I and My wife have been married for 5 years. We are based here in Lagos. She's 35 years old. We are doing very okay and living comfortably. Since we got married, my wife hated sex so much. I am not even trying to sugarcoat this. She doesn't want to hear you talk about it or she does it. There's no one in the family that haven't tried to settle our differences since we got married. She was never like this when we were dating. It's been 1 issue to the other. She doesn't initiate sex, and when she does accept you to have sex, it's missionary style and it's just 1 round. Ah, me wey dey like knack wella. This woman begin change am for me. Lol. She doesn't want to hear you discuss sex.

Anyway sha, lets move on...

5 YEARS ago, her mum came to my house to kneel down and tell me I am stressing her daughter that I should not kill her with sex. Her then-unmarried sister then asked if I ama dog? Ah, insult. Anyway, I don forgive her. I spoke to my wife and told her what is the meaning of this? What kind of lies are you feeding your family with? This is the same person who happens to make just 1 round of sex. Just 1 round. She lies flat on her back. Once you are done, she quickly pushes you away if you stay on top of her for more than 10 to 15 minutes. There were times she would hit me if I try to initiate sex. I reported to her elder brother. He elder brother warned her. She stopped. She moved to kicking me anytime we initiate sex on bed, i reported to my pastor, he spoke to her and then, she stopped. My pastor told me i have to be patient with her. I said OK.

Omo...
The only time we make love is just 1 round, missionary style and that's it. She says she has pain on her stomach. I have been patient for 5 years with her. I told her anytime she's strong enough, we can make out. That there's no problem.

I have been pressured to cheat on her many times. i HAVE BEEN REALLY PRESSURED. Its just not easy. Her family have insulted me for demanding sex from her. Lol. The thing tire me. I see no where i am demanding. We don't do any other position apart from the missionary style. We do not even kiss. This is a woman that doesn't want you to kiss in in anyway. Even sometimes, she shouts at you when you try to be romantic to kiss her unexpectedly just to spies up our love life. She doesn't even want you to cuddle her on bed. She wants to be alone. Make money, attend to her business, vibes, laugh with friends and family and that's it. When it comes to sex, don't go there discussing that with her about making out.

I even had to retort to preparing her mind for sex by sending her a position we would try on WhatsApp, she would leave the message on read and not respond. When you talk to her about what you sent to her, she would just tell you, she's not strong to make love.

ANOTHER PART OF HER:
My wife is a very bitter person full of anger. If you try to tickle her when she's cooking in the kitchen to play with her, she gets angry and warns you not to try such. My wife doesn't want you to play with her. I am not writing all these to make it look I am a victim here. But all these are my experiences. I have to pour it out. I NEED SOME ADVICE.

There were many times, we agreed on separating. But we have already children and we used to think about these because the quarrels and the disrespect, sex and everything is causing a whole lot on us.

We do not have any form of healthy discussion very well. Before you know it, we are quarrelling over the place, she's shouting. There was a time we quarrelled that after throwing a Gotv remote at her, she fainted. She woke up before we got to the hospital. She almost died. I told her, she needs to stop her anger and control herself and enjoy her marriage. She just won't listen. She's an Edo woman.

I have tried many times to leave the marriage because it's affecting my mental health. Sometimes I regret about getting married to her. Sometimes, I just feel, maybe I CAN TRY MORE and give her a chance. When you call her to discuss our sex life, about her anger and bitterness, she doesn't apologise. She hardly apologise. Even when I get to explain her part on why she was wrong, she claims she's right until maybe someone hears us arguing before she would reluctantly apologise.

I have been battling a really starved sex life, full of a woman with bitterness, anger and pride who never apologise. She's quick to advice other women on Facebook, She would video call friends, give them advice and her family how they need to maintain peace with their relationship. But she never seem to give me respect in anyway in her own own. Hmmmm.

Recently, my wife brought out another timetable that she cannot cope making out with me the way she does. Which is 3 times a week. That she can only be available to make love 2 times a week. This 2 times is just 1 round each. This is how she wants it. I immediately responded to her that I feel her pain. I understand. She cannot be pressured just to make it look like she wants to please me that I would rather get a side chic. Yes, i know this was wrong to tell her, but i am frustrated. She disrespects me and starve me of sex and she's even bending the rules again. She responded that 'ok that I am free to do what i LIKE'.

i decided to bring this here to know the comments from people. I would like to get advice from persons who are going through similar things like this and advice me on what to do.

Some of you might say, call her and talk to her. I have done that several times since in the last 5years. I did it last night and twice today. I have spoken to her. She promised she would change, she would not only repeat the same thing but make things worst the next time.

She disrespects me a lot. I have sometimes left the house but come back after families get to call me. She would change for a week and return to her old self.

What do I DO? Please make your responses constructive enough.

Carcholce:
You can flirt and tease without physical contact. No touch whatsoever. From what the OP wrote, he seems like a Hot he-goat. A man that is always hot will often express it by being too touchy. Women senses it and it’s a turn off.


A woman cannot tell you She does not like teasing and flirting when you are feet’s away from her. She can only tell you She don’t like it when you get touchy. The OP and you my friend should learn how to fvck a woman’s brain and not her pvssy.

addmole:
Why are you laughing. This is not funny. I need help. What do I do?

SenecaTheYonger:
Not every woman. Some women have actual medical condition that don't allow them enjoy sex. There are a lot of conditions that make it difficult for women to enjoy sex

worksmart:
Two times a week and your complaining ?

Let your wife breathe

addmole:
Bro I am not a SIMP. I just try to respect the boundaries of marriage and my family. But I am being pushed. i JUST HAVE TO CRY OUT. I have reported issues so much to my pastor, her parents - no one wants to listen to us again.

Offpointng:
Reason why I tell young men like myself, Dont allow Love becloud your senses of reasoning. Trust me the sign were always right there, you were just blind to it

I used to have what you'd call an Ex then, Same way OP describe his wife was exactly who she is. Twinkling annoys her and she immediately changes it for you, hugs from the back esp when she's in the kitchen immediately changes her mood and get her so angry, Simple romance like hugging (common hugging) she'd push you away, You can't have a healthy and Intelligent talk with her, Always defensive and hardly apologises, Any Play other than the use of mouth to call each other Big head is a No No for her, Loves sleeping like some descendants of Koala, So boring and everything bored you can think of. Firstly, I thought all these happened cuz she's still a Virgin at that age, but I've got Virgin friends that we play and have lotta fun without having sex and are not so boring like she is. Later Got to find out that's just who she was, not cuz she's a virgin or something

So that faithful night we were all loved up on chat and we chatted till she wanted to sleep and told me we'd chat the next day, so we said the lovers Good night and went to bed. But before I got to sleep, I told myself I'm so done with this girl. Normally, she always expects I do the Good morning text first or the Good morning call all the time. But this time, woke up and din call her or text her Good morning, I went bout my normal day activities like she never existed. All those time till in the evening she never call or texted until I uploaded a picture of Myself and my guys chilling bfr we replied the status and of cuz some Rude Bullshit text, I read and din reply.

She called me that night bout twice and I din pick nor returned the call, of course she took to WhatsApp again forming boss lady, I made sure i read and din reply and went to sleep putting my phone on flight mode incase she wanna disturb my sleep with calls.

Oooboy I dabaru that girl head cuz we had no fight the night bfr, we chatted so cool and was even talking bout marriage plans next day she kept calling and calling, pick for where. took her sis phone to call me unknown to me I picked, my people come see cool broken voice that I've not heard in months. I immediately cut and blocked. Any she took to crying on VN telling me if she's done anything forgive me bla bla, But nigga man's mind was made up. She got into depression and every effort her, her friends, her family made to reach out to me, I blocked em all. I moved on. Well after so many months I'm glad to let y'all know she's still single cuz I doubt any guy can be patient with her like I was

So Op the signs were always there, you just turned blind eyes to em.

DenreleDave:


In summary, you are advising us to always have sex b4 marriage? 🤣 🤣

kaymart:
Ok..let's say most will do anything for anyone that they find ready attractive.

Again, the issue here is not just sex... She doesn't have respect for him, she doesn't welcome simple play and cordial joke and discussion.
This isn't about medical issue...
It's above love and respect.
I'm a health professional....
This isn't physical health issue...

brain54:
I suspect your wife is going through some sort of childhood trauma…


Maybe rape.


Counseling might help.

Since she gave you the okay to have sex outside… maybe you should take it up.

Something in your wife’s childhood/growing up really messed her up.

But you should have noticed before marriage too.

You dated 2 years before marriage.

Follow her timetable patiently or cheat!

Offpointng:
Reason why I tell young men like myself, Dont allow Love becloud your senses of reasoning. Trust me the sign were always right there, you were just blind to it

I used to have what you'd call an Ex then, Same way OP describe his wife was exactly who she is. Twinkling annoys her and she immediately changes it for you, hugs from the back esp when she's in the kitchen immediately changes her mood and get her so angry, Simple romance like hugging (common hugging) she'd push you away, You can't have a healthy and Intelligent talk with her, Always defensive and hardly apologises, Any Play other than the use of mouth to call each other Big head is a No No for her, Loves sleeping like some descendants of Koala, So boring and everything bored you can think of. Firstly, I thought all these happened cuz she's still a Virgin at that age, but I've got Virgin friends that we play and have lotta fun without having sex and are not so boring like she is. Later Got to find out that's just who she was, not cuz she's a virgin or something

So that faithful night we were all loved up on chat and we chatted till she wanted to sleep and told me we'd chat the next day, so we said the lovers Good night and went to bed. But before I got to sleep, I told myself I'm so done with this girl. Normally, she always expects I do the Good morning text first or the Good morning call all the time. But this time, woke up and din call her or text her Good morning, I went bout my normal day activities like she never existed. All those time till in the evening she never call or texted until I uploaded a picture of Myself and my guys chilling bfr we replied the status and of cuz some Rude Bullshit text, I read and din reply.

She called me that night bout twice and I din pick nor returned the call, of course she took to WhatsApp again forming boss lady, I made sure i read and din reply and went to sleep putting my phone on flight mode incase she wanna disturb my sleep with calls.

Oooboy I dabaru that girl head cuz we had no fight the night bfr, we chatted so cool and was even talking bout marriage plans next day she kept calling and calling, pick for where. took her sis phone to call me unknown to me I picked, my people come see cool broken voice that I've not heard in months. I immediately cut and blocked. Any she took to crying on VN telling me if she's done anything forgive me bla bla, But nigga man's mind was made up. She got into depression and every effort her, her friends, her family made to reach out to me, I blocked em all. I moved on. Well after so many months I'm glad to let y'all know she's still single cuz I doubt any guy can be patient with her like I was

So Op the signs were always there, you just turned blind eyes to em.

DenreleDave:
So he shud keep enduring bcox of his wife..

Why must we endure in marriage? Imagine, I can't touch my wife.

May God give you such wife in Jesus name

May God give you such husband in Jesus name


Hàn ahn, Which kind advice una dey give person sef?

suckmedownthere:
She is the provider that's why else as man you are the one that makes the rules

addmole:
She was not a virgin before I MARRIED HER. Infact I know her ex. Though she doesn't cheat on me. She loves to be alone, make money, cruise, vibes with her friends, family. But not with me. Dont cuddle her, don't tickle, don't laugh with her. She gets angry with every little thing. Doesnt apologise. I once cheated on her but apologised. But now, she's starving me of sex, coupled with the height of disrespect from her. Last time I CALLED her elder brother about our frequent quarells. He just said he would talk to her. But he never did. Her mother shouted at me, if i wanted to divorce her, i should go ahead. So much quarells. I am tired. She even left the family prayer whatsapp group i created. OMO, I don't know what to do. I am just tired.

addmole:
Why are you laughing. This is not funny. I need help. What do I do?

talented321:
Hahahahaha.........
One woman' one man marriage... You go explain tire....

Timoleon:
No freaking evidence bro.

addmole:
I and My wife have been married for 5 years. We are based here in Lagos. She's 35 years old. We are doing very okay and living comfortably. Since we got married, my wife hated sex so much. I am not even trying to sugarcoat this. She doesn't want to hear you talk about it or she does it. There's no one in the family that haven't tried to settle our differences since we got married. She was never like this when we were dating. It's been 1 issue to the other. She doesn't initiate sex, and when she does accept you to have sex, it's missionary style and it's just 1 round. Ah, me wey dey like knack wella. This woman begin change am for me. Lol. She doesn't want to hear you discuss sex.

Anyway sha, lets move on...

5 YEARS ago, her mum came to my house to kneel down and tell me I am stressing her daughter that I should not kill her with sex. Her then-unmarried sister then asked if I ama dog? Ah, insult. Anyway, I don forgive her. I spoke to my wife and told her what is the meaning of this? What kind of lies are you feeding your family with? This is the same person who happens to make just 1 round of sex. Just 1 round. She lies flat on her back. Once you are done, she quickly pushes you away if you stay on top of her for more than 10 to 15 minutes. There were times she would hit me if I try to initiate sex. I reported to her elder brother. He elder brother warned her. She stopped. She moved to kicking me anytime we initiate sex on bed, i reported to my pastor, he spoke to her and then, she stopped. My pastor told me i have to be patient with her. I said OK.

Omo...
The only time we make love is just 1 round, missionary style and that's it. She says she has pain on her stomach. I have been patient for 5 years with her. I told her anytime she's strong enough, we can make out. That there's no problem.

I have been pressured to cheat on her many times. i HAVE BEEN REALLY PRESSURED. Its just not easy. Her family have insulted me for demanding sex from her. Lol. The thing tire me. I see no where i am demanding. We don't do any other position apart from the missionary style. We do not even kiss. This is a woman that doesn't want you to kiss in in anyway. Even sometimes, she shouts at you when you try to be romantic to kiss her unexpectedly just to spies up our love life. She doesn't even want you to cuddle her on bed. She wants to be alone. Make money, attend to her business, vibes, laugh with friends and family and that's it. When it comes to sex, don't go there discussing that with her about making out.

I even had to retort to preparing her mind for sex by sending her a position we would try on WhatsApp, she would leave the message on read and not respond. When you talk to her about what you sent to her, she would just tell you, she's not strong to make love.

ANOTHER PART OF HER:
My wife is a very bitter person full of anger. If you try to tickle her when she's cooking in the kitchen to play with her, she gets angry and warns you not to try such. My wife doesn't want you to play with her. I am not writing all these to make it look I am a victim here. But all these are my experiences. I have to pour it out. I NEED SOME ADVICE.

There were many times, we agreed on separating. But we have already children and we used to think about these because the quarrels and the disrespect, sex and everything is causing a whole lot on us.

We do not have any form of healthy discussion very well. Before you know it, we are quarrelling over the place, she's shouting. There was a time we quarrelled that after throwing a Gotv remote at her, she fainted. She woke up before we got to the hospital. She almost died. I told her, she needs to stop her anger and control herself and enjoy her marriage. She just won't listen. She's an Edo woman.

I have tried many times to leave the marriage because it's affecting my mental health. Sometimes I regret about getting married to her. Sometimes, I just feel, maybe I CAN TRY MORE and give her a chance. When you call her to discuss our sex life, about her anger and bitterness, she doesn't apologise. She hardly apologise. Even when I get to explain her part on why she was wrong, she claims she's right until maybe someone hears us arguing before she would reluctantly apologise.

I have been battling a really starved sex life, full of a woman with bitterness, anger and pride who never apologise. She's quick to advice other women on Facebook, She would video call friends, give them advice and her family how they need to maintain peace with their relationship. But she never seem to give me respect in anyway in her own own. Hmmmm.

Recently, my wife brought out another timetable that she cannot cope making out with me the way she does. Which is 3 times a week. That she can only be available to make love 2 times a week. This 2 times is just 1 round each. This is how she wants it. I immediately responded to her that I feel her pain. I understand. She cannot be pressured just to make it look like she wants to please me that I would rather get a side chic. Yes, i know this was wrong to tell her, but i am frustrated. She disrespects me and starve me of sex and she's even bending the rules again. She responded that 'ok that I am free to do what i LIKE'.

i decided to bring this here to know the comments from people. I would like to get advice from persons who are going through similar things like this and advice me on what to do.

Some of you might say, call her and talk to her. I have done that several times since in the last 5years. I did it last night and twice today. I have spoken to her. She promised she would change, she would not only repeat the same thing but make things worst the next time.

She disrespects me a lot. I have sometimes left the house but come back after families get to call me. She would change for a week and return to her old self.

What do I DO? Please make your responses constructive enough.