₦airaland Forum

Ginaz:
I moved into a new neighbourhood and i stay alone. Luckily I came across my childhood friend one fateful day on my way to fill up my cooking gas.

we exchanged contact, I found out we live closed to each other. she now has 6kids with her husband, the eldest child being 13yrs old.

As formal friends and now neighbours I tried to assist her with whatever little I could as they're not doing so great in financially.

I noticed whenever I enter her house, she's somewhat uneasy as she would apologized for the messy state of her house, the dirty floor , the roughness of the building which i don't even care to notice as I am not judging her.

I reduced my entrance into her house due to the fact I didnt want her to feel bad about whatever she might be thinking of her house. it was making feel uncomfortable to hear such complains too.

I usually send her kids on errands, which I give them monetary compensations. I called her on phone one day to send her second daughter to me that I wanna send her on an errand, she replied yes she would but I didn't see the daughter.

I was cooking rice, the kids came. I dished for them and I asked the daughter why she refused to come see me the day I sent for her. she told me it was her mother who told her not to come.

I was shocked ! if her mother didn't want me to send her on a errand she could have told me. I felt like I was disturbing her kids so I blocked her number and stop sending the kids message to run for me.

now she has been calling me but I've refused to answer her calls. am I wrong in wanting to end the friendship?

typical lady's behaviour..

She didn't permit her child to come to u and the next tin u could do was to block her straight nawa oh..

What happens to minding ur business and pretends like nothing happened?

Ginaz:
I moved into a new neighbourhood and i stay alone. Luckily I came across my childhood friend one fateful day on my way to fill up my cooking gas.

we exchanged contact, I found out we live closed to each other. she now has 6kids with her husband, the eldest child being 13yrs old.

As formal friends and now neighbours I tried to assist her with whatever little I could as they're not doing so great in financially.

I noticed whenever I enter her house, she's somewhat uneasy as she would apologized for the messy state of her house, the dirty floor , the roughness of the building which i don't even care to notice as I am not judging her.

I reduced my entrance into her house due to the fact I didnt want her to feel bad about whatever she might be thinking of her house. it was making feel uncomfortable to hear such complains too.

I usually send her kids on errands, which I give them monetary compensations. I called her on phone one day to send her second daughter to me that I wanna send her on an errand, she replied yes she would but I didn't see the daughter.

I was cooking rice, the kids came. I dished for them and I asked the daughter why she refused to come see me the day I sent for her. she told me it was her mother who told her not to come.

I was shocked ! if her mother didn't want me to send her on a errand she could have told me. I felt like I was disturbing her kids so I blocked her number and stop sending the kids message to run for me.

now she has been calling me but I've refused to answer her calls. am I wrong in wanting to end the friendship?

Perspective. The people you have to be most wary about are those who are less buoyant than you. The little things that seem harmless to you might come off as showoff or exploitative to them due to low esteem which was portrayed by the concerns about her home appearance. It's pretty much why some people try not to indulge those considered poorer even though there is pity towards them. Get engaged with something that will keep you off them physically for a while, the relationship will die naturally. A little hello once in a while is still not out of order, but watch the familiarity

Ginaz. Your actions speaks alot about your immaturity. So because of what the daughter said which you didn't care to Verify,you stopped picking your friends call. Just tell us you are tired of being helpful to her because of her financial situation.

Ginaz:
the other small child confirmed that the mother said it. she has been calling me due to her conscience biting her but i won't pick her calls.

I'm not a fool. I wish you good with all my heart but you want to use your children to do wicked against me in your heart.

Both of you are just being petty. Reading through your comments I'm just shaking my head.

Women will always act like children, that's why it's impossible for women to live in a compound for just a year without fighting. Men can live for 20 years without a single noise.

Both of you are being petty.

OlawaleBammie:
typical lady's behaviour..

She didn't permit her child to come to u and the next tin u could do was to block her straight nawa oh..

What happens to minding ur business and pretends like nothing happened?

Just laughing through the comments, women and children there's no difference... Very petty set of beings.

Justbehave:
Ginaz. Your actions speaks alot about your immaturity. So because of what the daughter said which you didn't care to Verify,you stopped picking your friends call. Just tell us you are tired of being helpful to her because of her financial situation.

wow. thanks!

Godmademan:
Perspective. The people you have to be most wary about are those who are less buoyant than you. The little things that seem harmless to you might come off as showoff or exploitative to them due to low esteem which was portrayed by the concerns about her home appearance. It's pretty much why some people try not to indulge those considered poorer even though there is pity towards them. Get engaged with something that will keep you off them physically for a while, the relationship will die naturally. A little hello once in a while is still not out of order, but watch the familiarity

ya. thanks for the input.

Offpointng:
I did this and that for her, Oga shut up.

If na ur children dem dey send anyhow like that, u go like am? You feel entitled to it cuz you gift them things??

You're Rude and she should even be the one to cut you off

God bless you for this response.

Female friendship is kind of complicated and never straightforward. Men no dey get this kind of wahala...

Firstly, stop sending her kids on errands
Two: keep assisting her if you still wish as you said it's between you and God..
Three: I won't advise that you terminate your friendship abruptly like that but you can reduce your interaction with her

Also be watchful (not suspicious oh) and prayerful....

But then don't send her kids on errands again....
What if something happens to the kids on the way to run your errands? What will you say?

If possible, don't enter her house except when it's unavoidable like if she invites you

Life is Life!

Sermwell:
Stop playing God!! They were surviving before you came to the neighborhood!!

I'm not God o. thank you for your input

Ginaz:
I've kept my distance o. do you know this same daughter i wanted to send message has never eaten fried egg with bread and tea? I personally prepared breakfast for her and we ate together with her own fried eggs. I didnt share it so she would experience how delicious the meal was.

Infact the thing pain me cos God knows all my heart's intention is good. wenti be message wey you come dey provoke for me?

me that enters my kitchen to prepare food for your children to eat, I even give you join. I don't have sense abi ? or I'm a mugu right?

Lessons learnt and move ahead.

There's nothing wrong sending the kids on errands since they also benefit from it. We all went on errands for uncles and aunts when we were young so I don't understand the big deal some hypocrites here are yapping about.
Feeding 6 extra mouths in today's Nigeria is not a joke, and if the compensation is getting the kids to do little things for her, what's the issue here?
Calling the mum to ask her daughter to go on errand may be far fetched but doesn't deserve the attack on go on this forum

So u blocked ur friend from what u learnt from a possibly less then 10 yrs old child...lol

I'd say u just wanted to cut the friendship anyway..

TheVictorious:
I was enjoying your narration until I read the part where you blocked her, you were very emotionally aware until then. You should have reached out to discuss, so that even if it'd lead to ending the friendship, you'd have been certain that that's exactly what she was trying to communicate indirectly. You didn't try at all. Please unblock her and still reach out, tell her you took the action of seeking to let her be in a bid to empathize with her because you infact thought she wasn't too comfortable with your closeness, and then hear what she'd say.

it has been sorted out. take your time to read through the pages.

I'm fine.

Offpoint1:
Both of you are just being petty. Reading through your comments I'm just shaking my head.

Women will always act like children, that's why it's impossible for women to live in a compound for just a year without fighting. Men can live for 20 years with single noise.

Both of you are being petty.

You didn't act mature at all.

Why not confront her to verify from her if truly she told her daughter not to run errand for you.

You stopped picking her calls just like that haba..

What if it happens that the daughter is lying?


That's why i don't keep friends....cuz the love ain't genuine.

.

Ginaz:
I felt bad that she would asked her daughter not to come run errand for me. this is someone who I have been very good and supportive to since I moved here. I don't want to talk about all I've done cos it's between me and God.

the phone she's using i gave her as her own phone got spoilt.

If she could tell her child not to come to me, I'm just wondering the rest things she might be saying behind me.

could her child be lying against her mother ?

this world is wicked though. becareful of those you call friends , they may not have the same good intentions for you.

The girl could be telling lies to cover up. Even if she was telling the truth, it was not necessary to block the mother's number and refuse to pick her calls. All you need to do is to reduce your visits to her place and stop asking the kids to go on errands for you. You could lose your own privacy if you keep visiting her always and sending the kids on errands. They may be coming to your place at all times even when you need your own privacy

We can be very good friends true but Deep down even if I'm very well benefitting from the person, I would detest someone sending my child an errand

Don't end the friendship, please. The reason is too trivial.

Later you may let her know why you are upset

Mom007:
You send her kids errands?
You call her on the phone, tell her to send her child to you so you can send her on errands and you feel justified in doing this because you dash the kids peanuts? God punish poverty sha, because if that your friend was rich you will not dream of such! If you had kids of your own, you will also know that all you wrote here is rubbish! Wicked somebody, block her na, who even needs friends like you sef?

you're such a dummy. if you had read through all the pages you would have seen the conclusion of the matter but you only read the first page and you're foaming at the mouth like a paralysed animal.

thank you for your input and shut up jare.

There is something you have not said that I want to no,you never mention anything about her husband.so start from there, or she has no husband,

Ginaz:
sending them message is wrong but they can eat my food, request for things which I provide, scatter my house and spoil my things. little message to buy me fried fish or fresh tomatoes now at front of the street is a crime.

Forget her and her family, it might be pretty hard but that's still a life saver.


Next you see her shine your teeth and wave at her, life goes on.

Ginaz:
I moved into a new neighbourhood and i stay alone. Luckily I came across my childhood friend one fateful day on my way to fill up my cooking gas.

we exchanged contact, I found out we live closed to each other. she now has 6kids with her husband, the eldest child being 13yrs old.

As formal friends and now neighbours I tried to assist her with whatever little I could as they're not doing so great in financially.

I noticed whenever I enter her house, she's somewhat uneasy as she would apologized for the messy state of her house, the dirty floor , the roughness of the building which i don't even care to notice as I am not judging her.

I reduced my entrance into her house due to the fact I didnt want her to feel bad about whatever she might be thinking of her house. it was making feel uncomfortable to hear such complains too.

I usually send her kids on errands, which I give them monetary compensations. I called her on phone one day to send her second daughter to me that I wanna send her on an errand, she replied yes she would but I didn't see the daughter.

I was cooking rice, the kids came. I dished for them and I asked the daughter why she refused to come see me the day I sent for her. she told me it was her mother who told her not to come.

I was shocked ! if her mother didn't want me to send her on a errand she could have told me. I felt like I was disturbing her kids so I blocked her number and stop sending the kids message to run for me.

now she has been calling me but I've refused to answer her calls. am I wrong in wanting to end the friendship?

Op really sounds like a good lady who feels let down by a friend she took as a sister. I perfectly understand how you feel. Please just forgive that friend of yours. But don't you ever forget this betrayal she's caused you.

Hopefully, soon, you shall have your own biological kids to send around. Much love dear.

Fountainofyouth:
Madam, you are not the first person that has helped people before neither will you be the last, it is not an achievement, it is an act of selflessness to get nothing in return, genuine help is not a give and take situation, do not expect anything because you helped people, you are not humble, you are arrogant and entitled, you feel because you help people, they should answer you in quick haste and without hesitation when you call, imagine calling a mother on phone to send one of her kids to you to run errands, like say na your maid, very belittling, what happen to your legs? Can't you run your errands yourself whether it is near, far, or the streets? She was nice to just say okay, if na me I go over blast you regardless of your help. The effontery to do that is because you feel they are at your mercy, meaning your help and care is not genuine, it is from a place of servitude, you demand a lot in return which is very bad

Your first bolded, I don't know why you feel the need to tell us that story, so because a friend helped you, and you choose to serve and worship her, that means people you help MUST also serve and worship you abi? Is that what you're trying to insinuate and expect from that woman? You feel you're her human god because you helped her abi? Who thinks like this in this 21st century? That's a silly mentality, very silly, disgusting and stupid thinking.....let me stop here

The last bolded shows how extremely petty you are, you sound like those street gossips that when told to narrate her side of the story, she'd twist things for people to sympathise with her, what has being childless got to do with a mother's preference on her own children? Why do you feel threatened and pained by that all of a sudden? People have pointed out your fault here, yet you feel you're right, why do you choose to be blind to your own faults?

God bless you for this response. Very rude and entitled

Kobojunkie:
1. The first is a miss on your part. You for sit her down, look her in the eye, and tell her pop and plain that you do not mind the mess at all, and so she should stop complaining about it.

2. I take offense with you sending her kids on errands. Sending them with a message to their own mother, maybe, but sending them on your own personal errands, no.

You pick offence on errands he send them but you don't pick any on the food he or she give them, double standard Nigeria youth

Ginaz:
I felt bad that she would asked her daughter not to come run errand for me. this is someone who I have been very good and supportive to since I moved here. I don't want to talk about all I've done cos it's between me and God.

the phone she's using i gave her as her own phone got spoilt.

If she could tell her child not to come to me, I'm just wondering the rest things she might be saying behind me.

could her child be lying against her mother ?

this world is wicked though. becareful of those you call friends , they may not have the same good intentions for you.

You don't actually base on what her child told you, children do lie sometimes, especially the moment they knew you won't give them a particular thing if they don't talk about something.

Try to let her mum know about it and settle it amicably.

First I would never tolerate anyone sending my kids on errands.

If you need help get a maid or do it yourself.

The op go explain tire....

Ginaz:
which errands am I sending them apart from getting me tomatoes or milk or fish within the street as the distance is just 2minutes away.

they come to my house by themselves and sometimes I'd drive them away before they would leave. I never let them go home hungry , whatever I eat, they eat too.

I don't send them to go to the market for me or use as slaves.

Don't mind that double standard mumu , she won't let them help you but she will want you to give them food

Are you still single? If she has 4 you too is expected to have any. Help them and using them as errand kids is far from sincere help.

Ginaz:
it's not everyday o. well, I've heard. Let the mother not send the same children to me to ask me for anything .