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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner (11408 Views)
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Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by Miyachi: 4:35pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Godmind2022: This is the reason I dissuade men from seeking relationship with partners that have nothing going on for them. A wife or husband should be able to have a life outside of their marriage. You should have friends, hobbies and interests that don't necessarily intersect with that of your partner. When you have someone that you always have to be on the phone with or demands to physically be with you all the time, then there's a problem somewhere. 5 Likes |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by bigpicture001: 4:42pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
KingLennon: u don't get it...this is a norm in a childless marriage...or a brand new marriage...u see the wife complain 1. about husband not coming back home on time 2. not taking her out with him 3. hanging out too much with friends 4. not eating much at home 5. not talking much to her at home 6. always on chat 7. talking to other ladies nd sh is jealous 8. being so lonely 9. not doing enough in bed.. its Normal..as OP, its a new marriage or a childless one but when sh is busy with a baby and job, trying to balance both...sh wo t even remember u again...u wi b the one begging for her attention 1 Like |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by justking(m): 5:02pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Deal with it before it gets out of hand. |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by mariahAngel(f): 5:12pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Wakatumbit: Carry her along in every little thing you do. Exhaust her with attention sotaaaaaaaaaaay she'll be running away from you. 😩 Do it delibrately. If you don't mind me asking; do you both have a child/children yet? |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by MadamExcellency: 5:17pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Insecurity doesn't make her a bad wife. So work it out to win her trust. But you sounded like someone who if given a chance would cheat. |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by femi4: 5:22pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Wakatumbit:Seems you have skeleton in your cupboard. Change your ways, and your wife will learn to trust you |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by Pimine: 5:23pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
eazzzy1:The only response that makes sense! |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by Socratiz: 5:28pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
This level of insecurity is an indication of childhood trauma. This creates a sense of fear and low esteem. She could have experienced being abandoned and uncared for in childhood so her mind is replaying this scenario unconsciously. Some other adverse childhood experiences could also be responsible. This is not an emotion either if you can deal with on your own, it is advisable you contact a therapist. There will be the need to explore her upbringing to establish at what point this emotion developed. Then she will be guided on how to resolve the issues. If you need any form of guidance on this, feel free to send me a mail 1 Like |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by Pimine: 5:32pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
achinu:Your stance will get no one anywhere in a relationship. Reality is far different from what's playing in your head. Your girl has a lot of male friends and often hangs around with them a little too much. You talk, they say it's insecurity. Your man is always on the phone all the time - a quick glance and you realize it's always a female. If you talk they say it's insecurity. Until you realize that all your dealings must be an open book in a serious relationship and must not rub off negatively on your partner, and if it does it's your duty to reassure them, you'd better stay single. 1 Like |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by Qatar2022: 5:42pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Sonnobax15:Why are you talk nonsense, did you know if they date or even do courtship? Stop blaming people whenever they complain , advice them or shut up |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by jetson06: 5:49pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Divorce her and go Bleep her best friend without a condom. |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by jessylaurel(f): 5:52pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Wakatumbit: You have given her reasons to doubt your loyalty and trust. She can't just decide to be suspicious. |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by jessylaurel(f): 5:53pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
jetson06: Small boy. Shake your empty head let me hear something. |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by jessylaurel(f): 5:55pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
eazzzy1: You're very mature with your reply. |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by jessylaurel(f): 5:58pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Antoeni: Interpret it yourself. |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by Tuzzyjohnson(m): 5:59pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Breakup |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by TheWinterBird(f): 5:59pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Wrong thread. |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by Fahvvy: 6:07pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
KanuSE: I totally agree with this, no arguments ... From my understanding of the OP's post, it doesn't seem like his actions is the major cause of her insecurities ... It seems like the insecurities are already there from the onset, which makes it a her problem - that is fast becoming a them problem (sighs) ... But like you said, reassurance would work, I pray for a God like patience to come upon the OP in this trying times ... Cause believe me when I tell you that it's really frustrating when you're actually innocent and yet all your actions continually raises eye brows ... |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by Dizzyyish: 6:13pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
FRIYOPATRICK: I'm surprised this is the only comment on projection thus far. As soon as I read OP's comment I just had a strong assumption that she may be cheating, and that paranoia is manifesting as a result. |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by Maxcollins042(m): 6:14pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
eazzzy1: The last paragraph makes zero sense 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by Wisegeek01(m): 6:18pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
But did you see these red flags before you married her .. yea or no .. so your answer will probably be yes .. the deed is done .. what is the next step to a solution .. Sit her down .. and ask her madam why u dey always suspect me .. how was your past relationships, how was your upbringing, see all these her behaviour is tied to something she grew up with .. a trigger .. you have to find out what it is .. so you can be able to manage it .. but you are not leaving that marriage oo .. mba nu 😅 You sef what behavioural pattern are you exhibiting that is making her suspect you .. check that too if any .. cant be blaming her if you sef may have small fault |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by Fahvvy: 6:27pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Miyachi: I thought I was the only person who saw that opinion as unhealthy ... If it was a case where the man has cheated before, then it's understandable why she would act this way - infact I would be very surprised if she didn't act this way ... But it's not clear if he has cheated... From what he says, she has access to everything accessible (phone, laptop, mails, chats, aza)... So if she still feels insecure after all that, then I can't say it has anything to do with the OP, I can infer that the OP's wife has issues that requires a therapist ... |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by IamtheTruth1(m): 6:32pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Wakatumbit:No way you would say you didn’t see the 🚩. You probably thought uncontrolled jealousy is love. And people who can’t control jealousy are not stable. They day you eventually cheat just make sure u hv a will |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by SPAMBOX7: 6:33pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
9 times out of 10 when a woman is overly insecure is because she also has too many skeletons in her cupboard. Na evil people dey dey fear evil pass. Cos they always think someone is going to do to them what they have been doing. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by obaidan: 6:46pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Wakatumbit:Projecting insecurity on our partner can drive them crazy, especially for those ones that wont talk and be keeping malice. You sound like a peace-lover, otherwise i for tell u make break the table and tell her you are not in for that kind of childish attitude, that u cannot be miserable in your house and u will rather live in peace alone than walk on egg shells around her. Its a dirty attitude. The more you tolerate her or keep begging her for doing nothing wrong, the more emboldened she will become to keep manipulating you with that repulsive attitude. Decide for yourself what is important for you and do it 1 Like |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by obaidan: 6:59pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
eazzzy1:you never jam insecure partner. You will be able to tell that this woman wants all your happiness and living to revolve around her. If you become somewhat happy in scenarios where she's not a major player, it becomes a problem, she becomes moody. It is not practical and always possible that you can involve your partner in everything you do(especially work), na wife u marry, not business partner, except u two are truly running the business together professionally. A partner needs to be understanding, you never catch am cheat, give him the benefit of the doubt, keep warning him in a cheerful mood, not keeping malice and forming rubbish mood swings because a femal client is calling me. See whether u like it or not, if who u married is a premium man, other women will desire him, some women will want to do business with him because of that. Will you advice your husband not to do business because female clients like him. Keep your man or woman emotionally focused on you through other means, not by keeping malice or giving him or her cold shoulders because u think some other people like him or her. Everyone has a role to play in our lives, ur friends will be ur friends and its even healthy to catch up on old memories. doesnt mean they are more important than ur wife/husband. U share and plan how to spend ur earnings with her, u plan ur future with her, she is a stakeholder in everything. U are raising ur kids(who are the most important gifts of life) with her....he has never caught him cheating(according to him) ....... i think she's just insecure..Ask her what is her problem with the guy going to the gym now, she fit say who is the guy doing fit body for, that she is not complaining. |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by HBB1(m): 7:03pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Tell her point blank she is making you uncomfortable. No allow any weyrey woman ( sorry to use that word) stress you. If she cannot change, she should go! Give a woman an inch, she will take a mile. Don't allow nonsense oga. 1 Like |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by malaria(f): 7:10pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Dear poster there must have been something you did that made her to start acting this way . If she has been like that from onset then you choose your poison so deal with it |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by luminouz(m): 7:17pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Wakatumbit:Lol...you saw it before you married her na...you didn't control it then, why complain now? Twist: Your wife is actually cheating and this is a way to throw you off her scent |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by bentenny(m): 7:18pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Wakatumbit:In all that you do,never allow her tame you! You may not see it but deep down,she enjoys and relishes the competition other females are posing on your behalf because it indirectly keeps her on her toes! You become her problem which is a good thing esp when she tables your matter before her board of directors aka 'female friends'! That show that there is something you are doing right to make you attractive! The day you stop going to the gym because of her or the day you either stop picking female calls or deleting such numbers or the day you stop talking to a female just because of your wife is the day you lose your masculine frame or attraction which in most cases is the 'Delilah effect' You become boring and unattractive to her! That's where the disrespect starts simply because you allowed her to conquer you! |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by Wakatumbit: 8:33pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
HBB1: I just asked her now what's the issue and she said nothing is wrong. Apparently she's pretending like there's nothing going on |
Re: What Do You Do When You Have An Insecure Partner by HBB1(m): 8:36pm On Dec 21, 2023 |
Wakatumbit: Tell her what you think and have noticed. ...and tell her from henceforth, she should stop it. If she can't, then she can go! That is toxic behaviour and should not be allowed. (From a man or woman) |
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