All of you on here saying its an entitlement mentality blah blah blah... all of una no get shame for body or even self respect for that matter; or perhaps y'all are just being hypocritical about the issue. Why would someone i didn't beg for something and after so many years being apart you decide to show of say you dey yanke and dey send me 12.8 dollars?

Its just like you with a basic job in Nigeria (receiving above like 50k) and a friend whom you didn't ask for anything from or a stranger for that matter just asks for your account details only to send you #200. Tell me how you would feel!

If the Nigerian friend had asked him for help and he was angry at that amount, i would say he is ungrateful, but in this case, the Yankee friend out rightly disrespected this man after 16 years of being apart... reason well before you talk.

enambobo:
12 dollars that is not even up to one hour wage for the least worker in the US. Its more like biscuit money. Abeg e no try.

But see? You just automatically assume he's working. That money can actually be big money to him but he figured it'd make more difference to his friend

KingMack:
Make una calm down... everybody wan jus beat
op neighbor 😂😂

Lol.l 😂😂😂😂😂

Timoleon:


Lol...this is worse than insult. It's better to not send anything than ring someone up after 16 years in the abroad just to send 12$.

Some people will say it's 'entitlement mentality'. But if I see you for road, you dey mind your business I come hala say I know say life hard, take 50 naira go find biscuit chop, before you die for our neck. You go reason better blow for mouth. After all, you no beg me for food or for money. Despite the fact that I just gave you my 'hard earned' money, you'd know in your heart of hearts that I just undermined you.

For 16years, bro has been managing to survive, How would you message him out of the blues to send him 12$. One carton of indomie.

After 16 years .... how much was he supposed to give? The fact that he is looking at the amount .... and attaching it to the years is clearly entitlement mentality. In his mind ... he expected to receive x amount as the minimum and it was not .... not what he was entitled to receive.
I've heard that a long time ago .... a mutual friend complained to me that another friend returned after 4 years and gave him only $40. It was then my eyes cleared and I made sure I wouldn't make such a mistake and insult anyone. If I gift someone $20 .... and learn that the person wasn't pleased ... I need that money back ... and will get it back one way or the other. Rapid devaluation is devastating... and most don't really understand immediately that it will turn their life upside down . It is now more than ever... that people need financial help from abroad ... but entitlement mentality will prevent many from sending to friends and relatives. If more people were grateful.... a whole lot more would've been receiving. The average Nigerian abroad can afford to send $100 per month ... no sweat. He knows so many that are suffering and wants to send $20 each to 5 persons. But then this is likely to be an insult.... as we can see in the topic ... and many comments. So what he does....send to no one... or just one person.

Musisco01:
All of you on here saying its an entitlement mentality blah blah blah... all of una no get shame for body or even self respect for that matter; or perhaps y'all are just being hypocritical about the issue. Why would someone i didn't beg for something and after so many years being apart you decide to show of say you dey yanke and dey send me 12.8 dollars?

Its just like you with a basic job in Nigeria (receiving above like 50k) and a friend whom you didn't ask for anything from or a stranger for that matter just asks for your account details only to send you #200. Tell me how you would feel!

If the Nigerian friend had asked him for help and he was angry at that amount, i would say he is ungrateful, but in this case, the Yankee friend out rightly disrespected this man after 16 years of being apart... reason well before you talk.

Timoleon:
Lol...this is worse than insult. It's better to not send anything than ring someone up after 16 years in the abroad just to send 12$.

How about you are homeless but have #200 but your friend is at a place where the value of that #200 is #1000, and you know that's the best use you can make of that money. Will you send it to him?

Timoleon:
Lol...this is worse than insult. It's better to not send anything than ring someone up after 16 years in the abroad just to send 12$.

Some people will say it's 'entitlement mentality'. But if I see you for road, you dey mind your business I come hala say I know say life hard, take 50 naira go find biscuit chop, before you die for our neck. You go reason better blow for mouth. After all, you no beg me for food or for money. Despite the fact that I just gave you my 'hard earned' money, you'd know in your heart of hearts that I just undermined you.

For 16years, bro has been managing to survive, How would you message him out of the blues to send him 12$. One carton of indomie.

Then simply turn the money down and maintain the friendship. Tell him there is no need to bother. I don't like people doing things for free. I don't like to feel indebted.

In fact when I was in Nigeria, if I enter keke and the man goes without taking his money. I will leave the money with the next Keke or Okada that I enter.

sukkot:
Peoples problem ? Pride. Even if I have millions of dollars in the bank if someone gives me 2000 Naira I would appreciate it. I just see it as free money. Although I draw the limit at 1000 Naira. If you are giving me less than 1000 Naira then am slapping you 🤣🤣🤣🤣 . The way I see it 1000 Naira is 3 bottles of malt. You just bought me 3 malt

Lol, but on a serious note the guy has a point.

He is both right and wrong. Right to conclude that an unsolicited gift of $12 from a close friend after 18 years is paltry and insulting, but wrong to complain about it in ingratitude.

If I was the one, I'd feel insulted but will still go ahead and thank the friend for remembering me. I may then give out the money to someone who'd really appreciate it. That way it's a win-win.

Nowadays, I'd feel guilty to even give a beggar 100 Naira cos in my mind, what can it buy? Some giftings can attract mockery and it's better not to give at all in those instances or wait till you have a decent amount. Even the Bible talks about the value of giftings.

Thunder fire u.....na ur papa send him to America.......if u no like d 12dollar return it..... ingrate

Originalsly:


After 16 years .... how much was he supposed to give? The fact that he is looking at the amount .... and attaching it to the years is clearly entitlement mentality. In his mind ... he expected to receive x amount as the minimum and it was not .... not what he was entitled to receive.
I've heard that a long time ago .... a mutual friend complained to me that another friend returned after 4 years and gave him only $40. It was then my eyes cleared and I made sure I wouldn't make such a mistake and insult anyone. If I gift someone $20 .... and learn that the person wasn't pleased ... I need that money back ... one will get it back one way or the other. Rapid devaluation is devastating... and most don't really understand immediately that it will turn their life upside down . It is now more than ever... that people need financial help from abroad ... but entitlement mentality will prevent many from sending to friends and relatives. If more people were grateful.... a whole lot more would've been receiving. The average Nigerian abroad can afford to send $100 per month ... no sweat. He knows so many that are suffering and wants to send $20 each to 5 persons. But then this is likely to be an insult.... as we can see in the topic ... and many comments. So what he does....send to no one... or just one person.

Baba in this instance, the receiver didn't ask him for money. He didn't send him any money for 16years, it didn't change the dynamics of their friendship. If you no get, you no get. The next 16 years can come and go without you giving life goes on as it had done the previous 16 years. If you feel you should give, give something tangible. If not maintain status quo.

You dey chop 'meat pie', I no beg you for food,I no beg you for money, you pinch 'meatpie' gimme say make I chop. Wetin be that?

sunsweet33:


I wanted to agree with the OP but on second thoughts, you do have a point. Sometimes people offer to “help” just to condescend and make themselves feel important and not out of a genuine desire to assist.

The only placed where the guy fvcked up was complaining about it to a third person, thereby making himself out to be an ingrate.

He should understand that everything in life is politics. If I were him I would send a nice thank-you message and henceforth move cautiously with the man.

Then again, 16 years ago was a different world. Especially to Americans who mostly live in cloud cuckoo land. It’s possible he thought the 20k would go a long way. But your point is still valid though.

Why did he even send the account details? I don’t think I can accept a pity gesture from someone I hadn’t heard from since 2008. He just assumed I was suffering or what? Don’t you have problems in America too? Hmm.

I agree with you. If I had hoped he was going to send something tangible and he sent 12$, I Would have kept it to myself. Thanked the sender well, and gradually withdraw.

Did he beg u for money..
Stop insulting people in d guise of helping.
Na see finish be dat.

sholikay:
Gratitude is key to anything....if such person shows me such ungrateful attitude,I will not give them anything again...

1. Only givers retains the exclusive privilege to determine how much he can give or to what extent he can help.

2. Receivers retains the right to not accept a gift for whatever reasons (eg too small and considered humiliating). Once you accept a gift, the least you can do is appreciation

3. Due to the differences of what different people consider as “good enough”, the best solution is for the giver to give what he is capable of, and the receiver to appreciate it at the very least.

4. It is more blessed to give, not receive. A receiver is not in a position of negotiation. You bring nothing to the table. Strength and strength negotiates, not strength (giving) and weakness (receiving).

5. For the above reason, Jesus appreciated the gift from the widow because even though it was really small, it’s was all she has. She gave from her heart.

It would be a tragedy to rebuke her because you consider her gift too small for you. No matter how small she offered, she is operating from a position of strength.

6. What qualifies you as a big person is not your ability to receive, but your ability to give. You’re superior to your dog because you feed, house and take care of it.

If your dog considers itself bigger than you, then switch roles.

7. Being ungrateful , prideful and unappreciative is not a virtue. These are features of a low quality human. You might think having an iPhone and going to Paris for breakfast makes you high quality, but no, it doesn’t.

The hallmark of a high quality person is their character. Most of global icons are not admired for their wealth, but for their character.

I come in peace

Alwayshungry:
Did he beg u for money..
Stop insulting people in d guise of helping.
Na see finish be dat.

Na wicked people them be. Imagine your person wey dey sell foodstuff, call you, you no beg am o, he call you say 'come my shop come collect food' you reach the shop finish, he use him left pack one hand full of garri pour am inside your pocket tell you say at least him don try for you. No be see finish be that?

PoliteActivist:




How about you are homeless but have #200 but your friend is at a place where the value of that #200 is #1000, and you know that's the best use you can make of that money. Will you send it to him?

If I am homeless, I cannot be sending money to someone who has a roof over his head na. It makes no sense. The 16 years wey we no see, na sand e dey chop?

That neighbor of yours must be someone who depends solely on others cus even if na 5k him bossom friend send, just appreciate and move on. It makes no sense if your counting the number of years another person is staying in another country rather than counting your own blessings too..
3 weeks ago, I was chatting with my own cousin who stays in U.S too and I was like "omoh, my data is almost out bro but nevertheless, I dey go hustle tomorrow and I'll renew from manage the remaining" and the next message I saw was, "manage this bro" as in he sent me 15k, omoh I shope ni ooo cus, I'll add whatever I earn from the side hustle to it. His friend assume he's having enough so whatever he sent should just be a add up, no one can just message u or call u out of the blue and wire u 20k just like that, and I believe he has others he wants to give too may hence the lil amount he sent..

Timoleon:


Him no need give am anything. After all, for 16 years, e no give, nobody die. If he felt it was time to do something, he shoulda have done something tangible, if he wasn't in a comfortable space to do something tangible he should have simply maintained status quo.

You be fowl.

Major7:






He's a friend and not a relative in the first place,he owe him nothing and did you even know if he sent 20k to 20 people? I know how loads of friends and families are always on their neck. God love a thankful heart remember that

Baba, he did not beg him for money. Go and read the OP. for 16 years that he did not send money, was the receiver eating sand? It wasnt compulsory to give.

PotatoSalad:

You be fowl.

I just too weak to insult you back. No time. Shalom.

Alwayshungry:
Did he beg u for money..
Stop insulting people in d guise of helping.
Na see finish be dat.

baba,him not begging and receiving from the friend should make him more grateful that someone could remember and bless him at least...how many people around him remember to bless him,not to talk of someone thousands of mile away....

Timoleon:


I agree with you. If I had hoped he was going to send something tangible and he sent 12$, I Would have kept it to myself. Thanked the sender well, and gradually withdraw.

This story just reminded me of something that happened over 10 years ago…one of my friends called me out of the blue and told me that she was clearing out her wardrobe and I could come and take some of the clothes she no longer needed if I wanted them.

I reacted with gratitude and thanked her but something was bothering me that I couldn’t quite identify. Though there was technically nothing “wrong” in what she did, I never came to Collect the clothes even after she reminded me. Actually I should have been more assertive in the first instance, and said “no, thank you”!

Giving Is Complex, and receiving even more so!

pussyeater:

Ogun keee your neighbor. Na people like your neighbor dey stingy pass, werey. You know how many other people he send N20k to, within the same period. He fit be say na 20 people he send N20k each to, which fit equals N400k, but your werey neighbor is an ingrate. Thunder fire your neighbor, tell am say na me talk am. Also tell am make I no catch am for street

Jewessgratitud3:
A neighbor of mine called me on Saturday and was complaining bitterly about his Bossom friend.

He told me his friend travelled to the US in 2008 and after a few calls they lost contacts. Last week his friend messaged him and said he's aware of the hardship in naija and asked him to send his account details. My neighbor did and after a while he received an alert of 20k. I said wow!.. that's a miracle. but he hushed me and said I should let him finish.


He said immediately he did the conversion it came to 12.8 dollars. He now said after 16 years it 12 Dollar the friend could send to him that that's an insult.
I tried to make him understand the friend may not be doing well over there but he said the guy is doing well that he's weighing the naira value of the money and feels 20k is big money. He said he feels insulted. Me I just carry my two long legs Waka leave my ungrateful neighbor.

Is my neighbor right and did his friend do wrong by sending that kind of amount? 12 Dollars...

To me the friend did not do any wrong but my neighbor feels he could do better.that 12 Dollar is like 1,200 hundred naira to them over there.

Guys what will you do if you were my neighbor?

Na this 20k kick my children out of school this week. Sch mgt advised them not to resume this week if they don't pay their sch fees. The money small, but e cover somethings.
Be grateful..

ThierryJay:


Lol, but on a serious note the guy has a point.

He is both right and wrong. Right to conclude that an unsolicited gift of $12 from a close friend after 18 years is paltry and insulting, but wrong to complain about it in ingratitude.

If I was the one, I'd feel insulted but will still go ahead and thank the friend for remembering me. I may then give out the money to someone who'd really appreciate it. That way it's a win-win.

Nowadays, I'd feel guilty to even give a beggar 100 Naira cos in my mind, what can it buy? Some giftings can attract mockery and it's better not to give at all in those instances or wait till you have a decent amount. Even the Bible talks about the value of giftings.

nooooo bro the guy has zero point. There are issues at play here that you guys are not considering

1- the friend is out of touch with reality. They say the guy has been away for over 18 years. When the guy left naija 20k was a hugeee amount. The guys mind is still stuck in that era. One thing about japa ? Unless you visit regularly, your mind is stuck to the era you left naija in. To that man he thinks he is busting his guys bank account with 20 thousand. It sounds like a lot .

But notwithstanding, 20000 free unsolicited money is awoof to be celebrated and enjoyed. If you are already rich ? Just see it as your friend bought you catfish pepper soup and odeku. Go to a joint and point to the biggest catfish for 12000 and buy like 5 odeku and enjoy . What’s there to be angry about ? It’s free money

sunsweet33:


This story just reminded me of something that happened over 10 years ago…one of my friends called me out of the blue and told me that she was clearing out her wardrobe and I could come and take some of the clothes she no longer needed if I wanted them.

I reacted with gratitude and thanked her but something was bothering me that I couldn’t quite identify. Though there was technically nothing “wrong” in what she did, I never came to Collect the clothes even after she reminded me. Actually I should have been more assertive in the first instance, and said “no, thank you”!

Giving Is Complex, and receiving even more so!

Exactly. Some kind of receiving automatically puts you down..Many times my immediate older brother will ask 'do you need anything'y answer is always 'i'm fine thank God, don't worry if I need something I'll surely call you' but I never call'.

I'd hate for someone to expect an eternal gratitude from me over an unsolicited favour.

Its just unfortunate that some people reason like this.
Do you know what people pass through abroad. The fact that he reconnected with hisnfriwnd is enough. If he sent him 20k, thats just an extra for him to do something no matter how small ut may be.
If the guy sent 20k now, he may be able to send 100k at another time, he may also be able to help him in other ways.

By the way,friendship should not be parasitic. This guy in Naija can also send his abroad friend a gift. It does not matter who is abroad or who is in naija.

Timoleon:
Lol...this is worse than insult. It's better to not send anything than ring someone up after 16 years in the abroad just to send 12$.

Some people will say it's 'entitlement mentality'. But if I see you for road, you dey mind your business I come hala say I know say life hard, take 50 naira go find biscuit chop, before you die for our neck. You go reason better blow for mouth. After all, you no beg me for food or for money. Despite the fact that I just gave you my 'hard earned' money, you'd know in your heart of hearts that I just undermined you.

For 16years, bro has been managing to survive, How would you message him out of the blues to send him 12$. One carton of indomie.

Timoleon:


If I am homeless, I cannot be sending money to someone who has a roof over his head na. It makes no sense. The 16 years wey we no see, na sand e dey chop?

They said 18 years - I wonder if it ever occurred to the guy here he couldn't have been doing that well to not come home for that long. I bet you his "poor" friend here is doing better than him - happily married, etc.

akube34:
I no understand, make him give am 100k?

it's a 2way thing sha.if the said guy in US is making it and sending 12 $ .To the guy it look like an insult but if it's a struggling person , he has done his best.I get plenty guys for UK na just ordinary help me print paper and submit it somewhere for me , for some cash say 100k+ naira to be send to my account he send me 20k unexpectedly , when it's my wedding time he still box me another huge 20k , and another time he did sent 40k to me.All within a span of 2yrs I guess.
I get another paddy wey send me 20k for doing almost same thing I did for the first paddy and another sent 20k for something similar.i still get another one wey send 100k give me from Arabian side all before this our naira free fall of a thing.Reason why I said everything depends sha.its possible the sender is just managing himself over there and could only send the 12$.The thing Sha get as e be.The Koko be say make God do am for all of us

PoliteActivist:


They said 18 years - I wonder if it ever occurred to the home guy here he couldn't have been doing that well to not come home for that long. I bet you his "poor" friend here is doing better than him - happily married, etc.

They said 18 years wrongly. The body of the article says the person left in 2008. To the matter of 'his poor friend' nowhere was it said that his friend was poor. Like it was said in the OP and I have reiterated, the Nigerian based friend didn't ask him for money. The abroad based person messaged by himself to say send you account number. If he was struggling abroad, he should have simply maintained status quo. No harm in that. If I am struggling, my priority will be receiving not giving randomly even to people that didn't ask me for anything.

pussyeater:

Ogun keee your neighbor. Na people like your neighbor dey stingy pass, werey. You know how many other people he send N20k to, within the same period. He fit be say na 20 people he send N20k each to, which fit equals N400k, but your werey neighbor is an ingrate. Thunder fire your neighbor, tell am say na me talk am. Also tell am make I no catch am for street

This is very valid. Once people in naija can access someone abroad, it's one request or the other.
On a good day, one can send money to 10 to 20 people within a month. If you begin send 200k each to 20 people, you can imagine what will happen to the abroad guy.

We just need to stop being entitled.

Timoleon:


I just too weak to insult you back. No time. Shalom.

It's not even you. It's "friends" around you I pity. You carry that warped mentality still get time to justify am. Someone like you have the tendency to kill out of envy and jealousy.
If you never hear am before, hear the raw undiluted truth. You dey disguise your entitlement mentality with foolish logic.
People around you go think say you wise and are slowly feeding into your foolish ideology.

The fact that he didn'task for money makes it even worse for the naija based guy.
Not asking and receiving 20k, shows the guy get you for mind. Person wen send you 20k na him go fit send 200k later or even when you run into challenges would be willing to help.

He can politely ask his friend nit to ever send him money again since he didn't ask and return the 12 dolars

Timoleon:


They said 18 years wrongly. The body of the article says the person left in 2008. To the matter of 'his poor friend' nowhere was it said that his friend was poor. Like it was said in the OP and I have reiterated, the Nigerian based friend didn't ask him for money. The abroad based person messaged by himself to say send you account number. If he was struggling abroad, he should have simply maintained status quo. No harm in that. If I am struggling, my priority will be receiving not giving randomly even to people that didn't ask me for anything.

blackgold2018:
Dou I hate ungrateful people. But the US friend is wicked.

Those black people abroad normally weigh dollar value to its naira before they give.

Have you witnessed foreigners gifting money gift to Nigerians? Either they are in abroad or here. They gift you money without weighing the naira value. I have seen a white man gift 100 dollar note to a beggar in lekki.

It's just the heart of a black man. Your friend is not ungrateful but insulted. He was clearly insulted by his abroad friend.

Those guys doing that are also very stûpid. Our ancestors say that “if you find yourself in a strange land where everybody has only one ear, you’d better bring out a knife and cut off one of your own”.

If you arrive somewhere that the currency is almost worthless, you can do some research of local financial norms to make sure you fit in. Of what relevance is flashing $100 bills to a beggar which can easily set you up for kidnapping?

By the way, if too many foreigners move in and behave like that, the area will become gentrified and local black people will be priced out.

If hordes of oyibo storm your local market now and agree to any amount the traders quote without pricing the item, how much do you think you will soon be paying for rice, garri and meat?