Proserpina:
Read the lady's post, she's never against support or contribution but what she's against is this "the moment my feeding is no longer my husband's problem" i.e the husband is not providing or bringing anything to the family.
A woman can support if she chooses but it is not her duty to provide for the family. Let's get that straight.

In the lady's case the man doesn't nothing but wants to enjoy benefit of marriage? That's her point.

Well on another thread a guy like you said we should focus on our beauty . We shouldn't drag the "provider" title with you men

@bolded
Just like a husband can care for the family and do chores if he chooses to. It is not his duty to carry baby or wash dishes.

Balablue64:
Clearly as you can see dis lady sounds like a retired olosho looking for an innocent man to turn her into wifey, i pity the useless simp that will call this one a wife.

Please you guys should AVOID non virgins⚠️


A virgin can not sound this way i tell you, this is an ideology of a retired worn out LovePeddler looking for a simp to hang her boots on.... I can never be that man for sure 😃

Proserpina:
Eyah... Sorry ehn

So you want your wife to bring food stuff that she will eat from her father's house while being married to you.

May I not be unfortunate in life

Oshi len she

ahh u will be unfortunate ohh

Proserpina:
That one is not my business...nah you go marry / impregnate her

You for leave her for her papa house to eat free food.

BTW I noticed you didn't respond to the only question I have asked you twice. Are you ready to PARTNER with a co provider woman?

I tire for una...so it's now ' na you go marry her' instead of two adults agreeing to live together as man and wife..

tollyboy5:
This lady made this statement on a thread. I would love to know if that's how ladies think so I can also update Elon musk chip in my head with the latest IA

this one live by the vjj. Not different from how olosho operate. They fvck for money

Balablue64:

I never said the wife should provide, but she must contribute.
As a person i believe in equality, equality in marriage, Equality in mind and everything except for physical strength.
She must be able to contribute to some extent, while growing up my mom was very industrious she takes care of mostly feeding. While my dad pays the utility bills and buys bulk gari and rice.
Only an unwise man will marry a girl that he will be sharing his salary for feeding and providing for her as if she's a handicap, children sef never come oh, abeg leave nonsense

My mum sells yam in the local market⚠️

She started that business before she gave birth to me and my siblings over 40 years ago... From that business she personally took care of her 6 children, from feeding to clothings, etc

My dad only paid for rent, school fees, light bills and sometimes bought provisions, rice and beans in bags.... Even when they owed my dad salary for years, my mum filled the gap to make her children never went hungry!!!!

For me that's a real woman, she didn't wait for my dad to take care of her and planned on leaving when things became difficult 💯💯

Sometimes i wonder the kind of STUPID female creatures we're left with now🙄

Eunoiaa:


Why, as a man and father, will nurturing your own kids not be a primary duty to you? Will heaven fall if you're both responsible for providing and nurturing?

It's good for both parents to nurture their children but it is the primary duty of the mother

see talk, tomorrow now you will see her in Shiloh disturbing God for husband

pocohantas:
I am hoping you are the one to explain how these "healthy" people do it in Nigeria.

Simple. Not unfairly pushing the bulk of responsibilities to the other person, especially because they "ought to" do it and were made or created for it. Joint ownership of properties. Present parenting. "Sharing" in the experience of pregnancy. I mean, the husband being there during ante- and post-natal hospital visits and care. Say, electricity units got finished, and one of them was home, they reload a new unit and not wait until the other got home (unless they have an agreement otherwise) because "it's their duty." I could link articles to how healthy marriages are to avoid being long-winded.

Oh, and see, even the most what you described that I cut out, they are exactly how I understand a healthy marriage to be so I do not disagree with how you've put it (now).

Gender roles as in "this is what this person (usually) does in the marriage," is dandy. And they sometimes overlap.


Of course, it's not prostitution to want to have sex because someone has shown you love and you want to show how happy they make you feel, too.

The OP just made it all seem like some "you-must-stick-to-the-rule-or-this-must-happen" thing. It may be my opinion, but I don't think ultimatums like that are *healthy* for any marriage. It was so selfishly worded and insinuated that she has sex with him because he feeds her, so all the conclusions on the thread that's been drawn from it aren't so far-fetched. It read like a husband who has been doing something, but the moment it seems like he cannot comfortably shoulder her/the financial burdens in the home, then sex is out of the picture.

Eunoiaa:


Simple. Not unfairly pushing the bulk of responsibilities to the other person, especially because they "ought to" do it and were made or created for it. Joint ownership of properties. Present parenting. "Sharing" in the experience of pregnancy. I mean, the husband being there during ante- and post-natal hospital visits and care. Say, electricity units got finished, and one of them was home, they reload a new unit and not wait until the other got home (unless they have an agreement otherwise) because "it's their duty." I could link articles to how healthy marriages are to avoid being long-winded.

Oh, and see, even the most what you described that I cut out, they are exactly how I understand a healthy marriage to be so I do not disagree with how you've put it (now).

Gender roles as in "this is what this person (usually) does in the marriage," is dandy. And they sometimes overlap.


Of course, it's not prostitution to want to have sex because someone has shown you love and you want to show how happy they make you feel, too.

The OP just made it all seem like some "you-must-stick-to-the-rule-or-this-must-happen" thing. It may be my opinion, but I don't think ultimatums like that are *healthy* for any marriage. It was so selfishly worded and insinuated that she has sex with him because he feeds her, so all the conclusions on the thread that's been drawn from it aren't so far-fetched. It read like a husband who has been doing something, but the moment it seems like he cannot comfortably shoulder her/the financial burdens in the home, then sex is out of the picture.

That account was even created newly and I think that was all she posted. But then, this is Nairaland. If a man posted same, I bet they would have made the sense out of his post, not minding the delivery. I simply made sense out of her post because I can't deny not getting her point.

Humans know what they are doing. They know what is healthy. They only choose not to do it.

Balablue64:
Clearly as you can see dis lady sounds like a retired olosho looking for an innocent man to turn her into wifey, i pity the useless simp that will call this one a wife.

Anytime a Nigerian man starts a conversation by labeling a woman an ashawo or retired olosho just know he has nothing in his head, is backward and a regressive los.er. same with all those that liked his post.
Intelligent conversations can be made without insulting or labeling people when you do not know if it's a fact.

know this and know peace.

this poco lady, iffa give am knock 4 head eh!

Funny ladies. My grandma wey hustle throughout never came with the mentality of my grandpa must feed her.
Everybody dey work to put things together.
That's how she trained her daughter's.
I was working in my aunt house at around 11pm I was still on my system same with my aunt and her husband already went to sleep.
Naso I doze off, she woke me up around 12am to go inside and rest.
I went to sleep and woke up 6am my aunt don cook food for the family, she don zoom off with her car to work.
I went to ikorodu to see my second aunt alhaja. I met her husband at home and I waited till she came back from office.

God bless ijebu/Eko Epe women. The best in world
What we have now are below standard we just dey manage them.

Kingson28:
Let's see it from the angle of hiring or employing a maid or house help.
To work for you, you MUST house her, feed her and pay her at least 20k monthly.
Why not do same at least for the woman you claim to love?
If you now add knacking and childbearing to the job of the maid, won't you increase her salary?
Demanding that your wife work and bring something to the table means that she will not be saddled with the responsibility of homemaking.
A maid MUST be employed to do the chores.

Your brain full of Gboko Cleanser!! See the mindset of a man!!! Your own don finish

Balablue64:

C'mon keep shut, original liability.

You gat big problem bro...

1Sharon:


Revelation 22:18-19

I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book, and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God will take away his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book.

@balablue64, you had better shut up and stop forming an alpha male online, this takes you no where...only if you know what the Bible verses @1Sharon quoted means

Proserpina:
It is you and your family that are unfortunate.

Werey alaso

E pain the guy e come abuse you

Pele!!!! E pepper you too small. NL no go kill me

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

.

Proserpina:
Where's the lie in her post?

As a man it is your responsibility to take care of your woman, if you can't you have no business with marriage.

Since i will take care if her simply because I Bleep her, id prefer that we do it pay-as-you-go. Whenever I Bleep her I will pay her. I might keep her in the house for 6 months without touching her. How about that.

Balablue64:

I never said the wife should provide, but she must contribute.
As a person i believe in equality, equality in marriage, Equality in mind and everything except for physical strength.
She must be able to contribute to some extent, while growing up my mom was very industrious she takes care of mostly feeding. While my dad pays the utility bills and buys bulk gari and rice.
Only an unwise man will marry a girl that he will be sharing his salary for feeding and providing for her as if she's a handicap, children sef never come oh, abeg leave nonsense

very well said.....
But hope men too will learn to wash their clothes since they aren't handicap too

tollyboy5:
This lady made this statement on a thread. I would love to know if that's how ladies think so I can also update Elon musk chip in my head with the latest IA

There is no need for her to get married since her views about marriage is no different from that of relationships. If hopping in and hopping out at will is her goal in marriage, men should do well to avoid her. Taking care of a woman in a marriage is a no brainer. Men are wired to provide and protect and we would do that but getting hitched to this amount of self-centredness and selfishness in human form will be disservice to value and a great burden on the mental health of such a man that would try to.

This one na hook up na..... Make she kukuma dey charge the husband dey go na.... Abi

This ideology seems one-sided to me. This woman is plain selfish that i am certain off. How guys put up with bitches like this on a long term still remains a mystery to me.

It is life. Shit happens! Men are not gods neither are men perfect, at least be humane! I wish more men had this idealogy with women imperfections. Most women are brutal. The moment you hit a bump on the road their instincts is to ditch you .

I am all for provision for your woman. but guys beware and tread carefully. This women nowadays are mean. they are out to ruin you

Wahala for her

MrBrownJay1:


the lady in the OP's post are the kind that will leave a man because he had an accident and cant provide for the family any longer and/or leave a husband who lost his job or his business failed. a proper wife should stand by her man whether up or down, and not bounce the minute money doesnt flow as she desires.

sadly, i dont blame women for having such failed state of mind, i blame the seemingly intelligent men who willingly go ahead and marry such women

My brother from another mother, God bless you on this your comment, you've said it all.

bukatyne:




What did God tell men

Love your wives

cococandy:
Men tell you they hate feminists then they turn around and hate on those who want it keep it “traditional” like this. Confused lot

VERY confused lots.

tollyboy5:

First of all do you think to pay house rent is easy?
I'm sorry I grew up with an apt ideology and I'm still trying to understand relationship matters. Because I don't understand many things I have come to notice and understand.
My parents for instance are old fashioned.
My mum does little trade while my dad provide almost everything.
My mum got established by my dad in the 90s and later my dad lost his job.
We moved from our quarters in garki Abuja then back to Lagos. My dad was the bread winner of his family back then.
After coming back to Lagos my dad then returned to Abuja to start working as contractor, things were not as good as before but my mum was never prepared for this newly kind of life.
She came from a nice family also and she's a strong willed person.
Immediately she started doing more also to provide for me and my sister her nagging increased. There is not always peace whenever my dad return from Abuja. I was the mummy's boi so I always took side with my mum no matter what, while my elder sis is always compassionate towards my dad now reverse is almost the case tho.
My daddy being a gentle person reduce his visit to Lagos. Despite being the landlord lol. My mum was 70% in charge of the house.
Fast forward till now, me and my dad are not close while me and my mum are no more close like we use to.
The last time I went home and wanted to demarcate some extension of the building my mum challenged me that I dare not.
I did not waste time to tell her to return to her father's house if she's not pleased.
I've imagined all the wahala she gave my dad wen I was still her strongest ally. If she felt my dad was not providing enough as a man she should have gone outside to rent 3 bedroom flat and a shop to know if my dad did not provide shelter.

If a man provides shelter for his family I feel he has done a good job. If both party contribute feeding as 50/50 there is nothing bad about that.
The man will still need to pay school fees and other house related bills etc.
So with all this provision and expenses if a lady feels he must also provide all feeding. Then what is the support she's giving to him?
Thanks I'm just trying to learn so I won't be expecting more than I could get from a lady.

I'm glad you saw this.

You became a man the day you started seeing your mother the way, your dad saw her.

Your Dad may not be perfect but certainly, your mum was a major part of the issue

pocohantas:


I don't believe a man should be a sole provider, but I believe he should be the major provider, given that we all know 80% of the time, the women handles childearing, nurturing and running the home alone! The only place I see most Nigerian men cook and clean with their wives is abroad and we all see how they complain and refuse to adapt.

Anything less, I don't recommend or practice. Goodluck on finding a man that would sometimes be a woman and allow you be the man.

Kponkwem.

You even tried engaging the whole way. I have always been very vocal about people sticking with their choices and standards, more especially, women. Men will rather become priests than bring down their standards, so why do women do the opposite? A man will say he will never marry a woman who isn’t working class or a co-provider and funnily enough, he will get it. But, you see women? They will do all within their might to prove to these men how much they can be co-providers or even reduce their standards to match that of these men.

I have no strength to argue with a bunch of strangers on the internet about my life choices. If I say that A is A and you say that B is B, how do I convince you to make you see that A is A and not the other way? For going the whole way, I must commend you greatly because I wouldn’t. No strength.

People who believe in equality or a switch in roles trying to make people who are traditional seem as though their choices are wrong. NO.

Proserpina:
Where's the lie in her post?

As a man it is your responsibility to take care of your woman, if you can't you have no business with marriage.

This can only come from an unmarried person!

goshee:
Since i will take care if her simply because I Bleep her, id prefer that we do it pay-as-you-go. Whenever I Bleep her I will pay her. I might keep her in the house for 6 months without touching her. How about that.

More like pre-paid

daneni1:
Maybe you should read what I wrote again, this time, slowly.

Oh, I did. And perfectly got what you mean.

That you can support each other in your 'naturally given roles' tells me that you're actually capable of doing the other person's roles. If that were impossible nature should have handicapped us in every way from doing the other person's role.

Afolue:
True nah. What’s wrong in her ideology?. Isn’t that the main reason why reasonable men like us are still single. It’s only desperate ladies who accept the contrary of what she has just said. As a Man I concur. Breeds more responsible men in the society

Ah, this is the comment.

Something must be wrong somewhere then, because the last I check, women like me who think contrary to what the lady said, are in the minority.


Women who wants to be taken care of and be provided for are in the MAJORITY, so why haven't you found one to marry? The math ain't mathing.

How can I be desperate when my equality stance is a turn off to an average man at the same time?

Wouldn't a desperate person conform to what most men want and desire so they can be married off quickly? I fail to understand why some of you guys should marry late when most other people conform to very traditional ideas of what men and women should do o.

UyaiIncomparabl:


VERY confused lots.

. You can never please them