mcdokwe: I guess Mrs Jonathan is also responsible for your poor grammar and articulation... pity I couldn't get myself to read through

mcdokwe: I guess Mrs Jonathan is also responsible for your poor grammar and articulation... pity I couldn't get myself to read through

Chimaritoponcho:
her grammar has improved drastically sef

The rock5555: Em atleast make i talk some thing.

1) ur story make sense but e dry.

2)i wan know if ur are through with sec skul bcus ur write ups is really filled with errors(no pun intended)

3)pls are u from akwa ibom state? Bcus u kip on calling those names but the one that is provoking me is the way u spell my name- its UDUAK and not UDAUK, abeg correct that. Its my name so i hate when pple mispell it.

4)make use of ur commas, full stop, exclamation marks, apostrophs an other tenses, it makes us understand better.

Example: "prince, are you not eating before you go to school?" my mother asked.

"No mummy, i would eat in school" i replied back.

U see the space and my punctuation marks i used. Do it like that it would be more easier.

5)space ur work, it makes the post longer and easier to read.

I actually jumped all ur updates to comment bcus it was hurting my eyes. I would come and check back on u. This ur story is front page material if u polish it well, mistakes are bound to occur so dont too bother urself, just avoid making them too often.

I fit use a whole 5000 words encouraging and slamming and correcting u. But i have only one promise for u.

If i come back and see this story has improved i would bring my entourage of fans over here, u want comments abi, u go see am tire then, dont just lose focus.

Nland is ur stepping stone to greatness.

Peace..

360prince: **CONTIN(A)EUTION**

Mrs(Miss) Grace was cruel to us that day in school, due to the fact that i intentionally disobeyed her. she called us all to go out and do something lik(e) frog jump, picking pin, and all sort of punishment that can make someone faint. Some people disobeyed her and vanish from the school compound, while some student abscond to hid.

"em...pls ma, can you pls tell us what we did wrong, that you decide penalising us this way?" i asked.

She fixed her eyes on me and came close to warn me,

"prince..., do you think, you can disobey me and go free?" she said and walk away.

I could fel(l)t sweat pour on me, and grieve came over me. I felt sorry for my wrong behavior and bent my head down ward. Later on, some student started complaining that their knees were wake(weak), some blamed me for not releasing them from my so called school mum('s) hand.Few moments later uduak fainted.

"ah! Somebody pikin don faint oh!" one of the student shouted.

I quick(ly) lefted(lifted) up my face, i(and) saw uduak laid(lieing) on the ground, she was breathing slowly and she was also weak that she can't(could not) even stand to her feet anymore. I stood up, ran in(to) the school clinic and gave a report. I left the clinic, and located my principal's office. Uduak was taken to the clinic for treatment.

During break hours, i went to check on her (uduak). By this time she was herself again.

"hey, there(Uduak), how are you fairing(feeling)?" i asked.

"am fine" she replied.

We chatted for sometimes, before the school close that day. I kindly took her to her place before heading to my own house. I got home that day late. I was very hungry and tired, greeted my mum and throw myself on the bed.

"Whats wrong?" My mother asked.

"nothing mum" i said and made a sigh.

Moment later i shut my eyes and slept off. Two days later mrs grace did'nt see me in school. By 4:00 on wednesday she came.

A knock on the door(someone knocked on the door), (so) my mum went for it.
=TO BE CONTINUED=

The rock5555:

Check my words in bracket and use it to read again.

What kind of phone are you using self. If u have shift key it would help with spacing.

Thank you, your write up is becoming alittle better, pls add suspence

The rock5555:

Check my words in bracket and use it to read again.

What kind of phone are you using self. If u have shift key it would help with spacing.

Thank you, your write up is becoming alittle better, pls add suspence

360prince: oga why saying lik this now..?. Are you trying you to say that you dont understand what am explaining in story?. Besides i wrote a simple english for everyone to understand and not fooling ppl with grammers. Pls follow up. Just correct me where i go wrong. Well thanks for commenting sha.

Chimaritoponcho: Omg @360prince u r d luckiest pesin on d literature section 4 havin ROCK as ur teacher i jus hope u'd b a gud student

The rock5555: Where dis 360na abi u don lose inspiration like carzola, come cont. Ur last update was perfect. Btw. Its 'continuation' not 'continuetion'

The rock5555: Where dis 360na abi u don lose inspiration like carzola, come cont. Ur last update was perfect. Btw. Its 'continuation' not 'continuetion'

mcdokwe: I am saying you should not ridicule someone else when obviously you ain't better

petereddy: Nice story sire but I must confess its below par.Do more to proof read ur story as often as u can.Like Rock has said,u need to space ur work for it to be readable,also punctuations in ur story isn't properly in place.In short make ur work more reader friendly.It seems to me dat u are doing more of undetailed summary than the story u are telling.Your story has content but u are failing to bring our the true elements in ur work.All thesame uve tried but u can do far better

Taiye4Christ: Hi Prince.
To be frank, you have quite a long way to go, as far as writing is concerned.
But the most important thing is that you have begun the journey. Like they say, 'The journey of a thousand miles begins with A step'. You have taken that step, i dare say.
I like your courage and determination, your passion for what you are doing and the readiness to accept corrections, to learn and to better yourself. These are vital tools you need as the writer you aspire to become.
Few words of advice, if i may.
-Please, pay heed to the points raised by ROCK. They are basic and very important.
-Type your updates, at least, one hour before you post them. Spend that time reading them over and over again, making corrections where you feel necessary (you may not have much time, I know, but it's not about the quantity of your updates, but the quality). Better not to update at all than to update shabbily
-Also, get one of your friends to proofread your works and offer constructive and valuable suggestions.
-Read wide. Read other people's works, literary and otherwise. It will enrich your vocabulary, as well as polish your grammar. English no be our papa language, but we fit improve the way we dey yarn am by reading and listening to good English.

On a final note, you 've got a great great story here. How far it travels? It depends on you. Don't let your story down.
I have taken my time to say all these because I can see a light, a potential, the seed of a writer in you, if properly harnessed.
Keep the dream alive... IT'S IN YOU.

festwiz: Dude work on

.1,Typographical errors
.2,Punctuation
.3, Organization.
.4, Read more literature to know how to make the content of your work feel lively.

360prince: . Festwiz, thanks for commenting on my thread. Am so happy to have guys like you, commenting on what i wrote. It a great honor that you have given an unknown guy like me. I have seen all the sections you want me to deal with. I here by promise you that i will look into those sections, because they are the main elements of english. (i dont really know whats happening to my spacing, i have done all this, but it like something is wrong somewhere or it depends on the type of phone that is being used). Pls can you tell me what to do?

festwiz: try makin g your conversation in thread form(checkout 2go),and try limiting the use of nouns,like in your last post,talking about "uduak under the palm tree...",no need to repeat this again.

festwiz: try makin g your conversation in thread form(checkout 2go),and try limiting the use of nouns,like in your last post,talking about "uduak under the palm tree...",no need to repeat this again.