Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? - Romance (16) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Romance › Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? (56191 Views)
1 2 3 ... 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 Reply (Go Down)
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 12:51pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Sagamite:The only need you have is to win to feel better about yourself. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 1:10pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:You are taking it too personal now. Personally, the only issue I would have with a single mother would be the kid's father. In most of the cases, the kid's father is the other man that will always be in the single mother's life. This thought alone would just make me sick. Other than that, I have no issue with marrying a single mother. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 1:20pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
TheCongo:No, I am not taking it personal. I am not a single mother. I don't have kids at all. I just know how much strength it takes to be a good single mother and it is irritating that people will put these women down by telling them that it is bad karma. Some of these women lost their husbands due to an accident or an illness. Others were abandoned even if the father initially wanted the child. You don't have to marry them. They ALL know that MANY men are not willing to accept their children, for one reason or another. Yet, I see no reason why on every thread about single mothers people have to put them down by, for example, explaining to them how their "market value" diminished BECAUSE OF THEIR CHILD. I see more reasons to lift them up, to help and to encourage them, which will also benefit the children. This doesn't mean you have to marry them. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by maternal: 1:29pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:I also see no reason why on every thread broke and unsuccessful men are put down by women when it comes to finding a partner to marry. While I may sound like a broken record, I must point out the hypocrisy by these same women, who are now asking for understanding, who also join in these broken men bashing. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 1:32pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
maternal:I don't know who you are talking about exactly but you will NEVER find ME putting men down for not being finically stable. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by maternal: 1:36pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:It may not be you specifically, but its common in African/Nigerian culture. Its ironic every women, specifically those who are single mothers are now understanding or would have sympathy for a broke man in this thread. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by maternal: 1:42pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Sagamite:Well said. You saved me a lot of typing. The financial aspect is the main thing. My biological child would get everything first (food, school fees paid, etc) before another man's child if I ever married a single mother. In fact I would not be able to love that child like my own flesh and blood. I just couldn't. While I'm spending 12k per year on ANOTHER MAN'S child, their biological father is in the clubs popping bottles. These baby mama's are worse than 419 guys. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 2:10pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
The BEAUTY and BLESSING of MOTHERHOOD. [img]http://1.bp..com/_nNAwHJuCkx8/TK7b6jyXgpI/AAAAAAAAAC0/YxaPcmtatQs/s1600/black_mother_and_child_or_nanny21871643_std146121530.jpg[/img] https://res.mindbodygreen.com/img/ftr/motherhood.jpg https://www.blackcelebkids.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/workingmom.jpg https://www.wharc-online.org/wp/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/safe-motherhood_2.jpg |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 3:33pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
maternal:A child is a child. Be it another man or my own flesh and blood. The apprehension to date a single mom should have nothing to do with the child. I would just be more concerned with the presence of the child's father into my woman's life. It would just make me sick to think that there is another man who will always be in my woman's life. But then again, life isn't perfect. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by OmoEziokwu: 4:53pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:You must think that all men are like what you posted above, isn't it? Well twats deserve the kinds of men they attract. No man with an astute brain will settle for scrubbers. How will twats find the right men who will wife and keep them when they are always looking for the wrong qualities in men, and then later expecting sympathy and "understanding" when they have finally given the precious goods away to the wrong men? I understand that your rationalization hamster is acting as expected- defending the indefensible just to feel good. The feminine imperative always finds a way. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Safari29: 9:42pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
single mothers are hoes and they ain't loyal. Imagine the thought of you away from her and what she wud be doing ?young guys should stay away from them period except if u want to be miserable
|
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Sagamite(m): 10:13pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:Oh, I see! So it is just your normal rubbish of interpreting for me? You implied what I meant on my behalf? carefreewannabe:I don't find minor faults. I find entire faults in what they say after I ask them a few questions that get them stuck. I don't imply for them. I ask them questions to clarify their position in a comprehensive manner (this helps in ensuring they cannot repudiate their own arguments when stuck) and then I go for the logical kill. Disgust is not an argument until ............................................... we decide "lets legalise polygamy". Or until we discuss whether it is acceptable for a man that is 70 years old dating an 19 year old and smacking her from behind like a smoking Chinese highspeed train and she is moaning "Yes, Daddy. Hit that shyt like I have been a bad girl". Then you start vomiting and saying it is disgusting. ![]() carefreewannabe:I think you are struggling to comprehend that every complex position in life comes with pros and cons. It really is that simple. Complex ...............There will be pros .................There will be cons. Don't struggle to understand that in a highly intellectual debate. The cons would be more for the mother if she does not have kids with her. It would just be a different set of cons. If a man has his kids in his custody too, it would have its pros and cons. Again: Complex ...............There will be pros .................There will be cons. carefreewannabe:No, you have a problem debating on or offline. You are a "woman"! Selfish and illogical! And you do not see the need to make sense, afterall you are the poor, defenceless, victim sex. carefreewannabe:Huh? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4AA6EuZe-k Professor Implier! Please don't imply for me. carefreewannabe:I only reversed a "real man" training logic to another "woman". You know? The selfish and illogical human specie? carefreewannabe:Are you implying for me again, Professor Implier? carefreewannabe:Obviously! But not as limited pool as a woman as I stated and implied in my post but as a raging feminist, red mist in your eyes will not see that. carefreewannabe:That just limits your pool as I argued. And there are desperate women. Next meaningless point. carefreewannabe:Professor Implier, are you about to imply for me again? How does this have any relevance to single mothers being disadvantaged? Next meaningless point. carefreewannabe:Professor Implier, are you about to imply for me again? How does this have any relevance to single mothers being disadvantaged? Next meaningless point. carefreewannabe:Human rights laws mean we cannot deport someone that supports terrorism against us to a country where they can potentially be tortured. So, according to your logic, that means Human rights do not favour our well being. To your woman logic, finding one con is a disqualifier of all pros. Women ||||||Brick Wall||||| Logic carefreewannabe:And your point is? How does this have any relevance to single mothers being disadvantaged? Next meaningless point. carefreewannabe:You implied that I did not see the whole picture, Professor Implier? Or you have a habit of disjointing the picture. According to your woman logic, "if I can point out that some single fathers also have disadvantage, then that proves single mothers do not have a disadvantage when juxtaposed with a single girl with no child". ![]() Women ||||||Brick Wall||||| Logic ![]() carefreewannabe:Fck me! I am tired of this rants. Can you highlight to us anywhere you made a point or proved that single mothers are not disadvantaged? ![]() Or you think because you are a woman, you do not need to make sense? ![]() If I was your teacher and you wrote all this rubbish to prove single mothers are not disadvantaged: - you will get no marks - you will get no cute, colourful, fun stickers on your notebook - I will actually bitcch-slap the murrafcker out of you when you come for your notebook and when your parents come into school to complain, I would tell them "That is how we knock sense into kids in AFRICA". ![]() ![]() |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Sagamite(m): 10:25pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 10:25pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Sagamite:Sense? No, rather the need to put others down to make oneself feel better. Simple psychology. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Sagamite(m): 10:32pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:Put others down? Oh, I never knew educating and enlightening people with facts about general perception is putting others down. ![]() |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 10:42pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Sagamite:Facts? Sagamite's "facts": Women are at an advantage because they are granted custody. Women are disadvantaged because they are granted custody. Sagamite's "facts": Women are selfish. Objection to his "fact": Men are also selfish, human beings are selfish. Sagamite: On a scale, women are more selfish. Unfortunately, the scale is invisible because it is Sagamite's SUBJECTIVE perception. And playing the age card is still your favorite scare tactic, isn't it? ![]() Objectivity and logic re-defined. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Sagamite(m): 10:50pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:Please explain to us how all this proves single mothers are not disadvantaged? |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 10:51pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Sagamite:I already have. Now I will show you how objective you are. Sagamite's "facts": Women are at an advantage because they are granted custody. Women are disadvantaged because they are granted custody. Sagamite's "facts": Women are selfish. Objection to his "fact": Men are also selfish, human beings are selfish. Sagamite: On a scale, women are more selfish. Unfortunately, the scale is invisible because it is Sagamite's SUBJECTIVE perception. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Sagamite(m): 11:08pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:Where? ![]() |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 11:09pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Sagamite:Look, it's here: Sagamite's "facts": Women are at an advantage because they are granted custody. Women are disadvantaged because they are granted custody. Sagamite's "facts": Women are selfish. Objection to his "fact": Men are also selfish, human beings are selfish. Sagamite: On a scale, women are more selfish. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 11:15pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Sagamite:And here https://atlantablackstar.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/black_mother_and_daughter_800x5324.jpg And here [img]http://www.caltrate.ca/sites/default/files/motherhood.jpg[/img] And here https://savvyauntie.com/Admin/Images/Article/Thumb288x201/Article_article-chinese-women-delaying-motherhood-savvyauntie_949716176.jpg Are you feeling like a genius now because you have told women that their pool of potential partners is limited? And you think you enlightened or taught anyone anything new? Or have you rather helped yourself to feel better because you showed them that HAVING A CHILD is a disadvantage for women? |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by jaydee87(m): 12:11am On Oct 08, 2014 |
presently faced with the same issue right now, I love the girl so much but ppl say I shudnot marry her cos of the baby but mine is a little complicated cos the girl in question got pregnant few months before I met her, dint notice till she was 5 months... and wat feared me to her was every time I ask for sex she politely decline without giving reasons u til I got the news from her mom... I was sad cos I really like the babe. now she has given birth, the baby will be two on the 17 this month. she still calls me till date even wen I stopped calling her...am more. confused no what shud I do... |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by maternal: 2:13am On Oct 08, 2014 |
jaydee87:God blessed you, and you claim you're confused ? #1 She hid her pregnancy not to expose her ashewo ways, yet these delusional women on here claim all single mothers are proud of their seed. #2 She denied you sex due to her shameful pregnancy #3 Her MOTHER told you about her child. Again if she wasn't ashamed or thought her value has decreased, why didn't she tell you ? # 4 She's still calling you because SHE'S DESPARATE, looking for a captain save a baby mama to come and be a father to her bastard child. You weren't good enough to be informed of the child, or get some sex, yet you're good enough to play daddy to another man's child? She's' insulting you. #5 A woman this shady has the ability to kill you someday. omo run. But I'm afraid you have caught serious feelings. You must suppress them. You seem like a good guy. Believe me if this was 3 years ago she probably wouldn't answer your calls let alone be desperately trying to get a hold of you now. She seems like a local champion who was riding any guys prick with "swag" or ego. Now she get belle, the 419 or swagged out guy she let impregnate her didn't even have the respect to help her through the pregnancy. These are the type of characters she was entertaining. Now she's in the worst position a single woman can ever be in, she has humbled herself and is now chasing you. My friend you didn't dodge a bullet, you dodged a nuclear missile. Does she call her baby daddy this much? Does she even know who he is ? Hapu this ashewo abeg. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Sagamite(m): 7:14am On Oct 08, 2014*. Modified: 9:25am On Oct 08, 2014 |
carefreewannabe: carefreewannabe:Okay, now I see how you have proven my point that single motherhood is a disadvantage in the mating game wrong. ![]() By showing me single mothers love their kids and take care of them, you have proven to me single mothers are not more disadvantaged in the mating game compared to girls without children. Women ||||||Brick Wall||||| Logic Men need to make sense in debate = handicap. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Sagamite(m): 7:26am On Oct 08, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:Prove these. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Sagamite(m): 7:50am On Oct 08, 2014*. Modified: 9:23am On Oct 08, 2014 |
maternal: maternal:Two things you should know as part of her traits: 1. Concerns of men and anything discriminating against men carries less weight in her views than those of women. Her mental process is that she would give it the briefest oversight, dismiss it with the lightest agreement and want to switch the discussion to focus only on what affects women even if the thread/topic is dedicated to the men's discussion or the discussion is mainly that. We are supposed to see wrong-doing to men as wrong but significantly unworthy of attention as that to women. She gives little hoot about men's concerns, but gets very emotional about women's concerns. 2. She frequently uses herself as the sole example in a sample pool and as a representation of all women. It is something I have told her over and over and over again that she needs a bigger and geographically diverse sample pool to make generalisations but it falls on deaf ear. A small or singular sample pool makes sense to her even though she would also be the first to say she is different from most women. Also, trust me, she would also be the first to ask someone using a bigger sample pool "Have you interviewed all women on Earth to know that" even when you say something as obvious like "most women are emotional judges and would support their only child if the child faces a prosecution for murder and faces the death sentence"? Observe these in her argument patterns in future. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by jaydee87(m): 8:21am On Oct 08, 2014 |
maternal:Bro thanks for your advice, the problem is the guy na her friend senior brother, the guy just moved after the whole film... well I just dey tank God say she no let me enta cos she fit say na me, one reason why I liked her more. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 9:28am On Oct 08, 2014 |
Sagamite:Deviation tactics. ![]() Keep debating with Maternal. He seems to be more at your intellectual level. And you are not even ashamed. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by jpphilips(m): 9:34am On Oct 08, 2014 |
At what point is it pertinent for people to realize that some actions leave them socially disadvantaged? It is one thing to react positively to the biding of religion it is another to realize that the real world doesn't run on religious terms, whichever decision you make, you will be prepared to live with the consequence, no single mother has the right to cajole, coerce or otherwise stated, use of subtle force to make a single man marry her. whether you became a single mum by virtue of leaving your marriage or by virtue of infantile radicalism, you must be prepared to live with the fallout of the decisions you make. The men are cheating, the women are no longer loyal, whichever decision you take as a panacea to your marital imbroglio, be prepared to sacrifice a faction of your happiness knowing what the real world feels like. If the single men should go for single mums, what happens to single ladies? It is a battle for survival and we strive to be socially competitive, anyone who doesn't feel same should be likened to a lazy man who knowest hunger will come but refuse to work, we work and earn more than is ok for us because we want to acquire some certain things that keeps us socially afloat, if one chooses otherwise, what can the world do, sympathize with her? Do women sympathize with men who are socially incompetent? when was the last time a tyra banks married a broke dude? when will the poor man hawking le casera on the third mainland bridge get the privilege of dating a Genevieve Nnaji, or is she not single again? not even in her social disadvantage (being a single mum) will a Genevieve think that, lest she degenerates further, perhaps when she has attained menopause ![]() we don't frown when women bemoan men who are not socially competitive, but we must make women happy when they abuse their social privileges, talking about wishful thinking. For every baby moma, there is a baby daddy somewhere, they should go sort themselves out, the world has enough problems already. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 9:38am On Oct 08, 2014 |
maternal:And you think that one wrong justifies another, right? Unlike you, I don't. On several threads, I have taken the side of men who struggle financially. I have not taken the side of women who put these men down just because I am a woman. I see the whole picture. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Sagamite(m): 9:38am On Oct 08, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:So asking you to prove that is "deviation tactics" and unintelligent? ![]() Okay, thanks for highlighting that. ![]() Thank God that is not my normal state and approach, I was just applying imitation. ![]() Who was I imitating? ![]() YOU! ![]() https://www.nairaland.com/1929092/marry-someone-child/14#26938386 Telling people to give you proof of the obvious is grasping at straws and a drowning-in-the-ocean tactics, and an attempt to waste the person debating with you's time. It is a trait I have come to observe in your argument patterns. And I decided to use on you so you see how illogical it is. I thought, "ask her to prove the obvious too like she likes to". I decided to use it on you because I knew you will NEVER see it as wrong except it affects you. Typical woman. ![]() Sagamite:Thank God, you are the one that labelled it yourself as "deviation tactics" and unintelligent. I need say no more about it then. |
| Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 9:54am On Oct 08, 2014 |
Sagamite:You have happily participated in putting single mothers down. You have sided with people who offend them. You called it enlightenment and education to tell them what ALL of them know. And to come at people whose situation CAN be very tough, especially in developing countries, is very weak. And the worst of all is that you don't see anything wrong in it. |
Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: • Can You Marry Someone From Another Cultural Back Ground?and Why • Would You Marry Someone Below Your Status?: Vote • 2 • 3 • 4
Heartbroken Nigerian Soldier Laments As His Girlfriend Secretly Marries • My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls • Is Sex Necessary In A Relationship?

?


