₦airaland Forum

lestat:
Your horrifying spelling skills immediately piqued my curiosity as to why you would bother to stress repeatedly how instead of a victim off being thrown out of the speeding vehicle of a relationship infact you are the one who does the tossing? I have to call bullshitt on that and i do infact say that i would stake my 2 Naira that you are a serial dumpee, defined thus, as a virile, fertile, low cost means of expunging semen from the gonads, you have been dumped no less than 20 times in the last 6 months my dear?

FLAWLES:
.who ll come ll come.....ad who ll ntt ll ntt(mtswww)i de fined boyfriend abi suitor?

Sophyrocks:
Honestly, before i started dating i used to hear a lot of all these sob stories from females. And then i wonder and ask 'why all these sob stories'? Is it that guys are this horrible? With time as i started dating and getting to know men, ive come to understand that a guy cannot use and dump you unless you allow him to. Its all about maintaining your standards as a lady and avoiding situations where you compromise your moral values to please a guy. guys will not force you to do what you dnt want to do. So really, all these sob stories of use and dump can be minimised if only ladies know what they want, try nnot to always use their emotions to make decisions, have standards and stick to it. Guys cannot be all that bad and horrible.

andromida:
Because most times the guys lie to get into their pants they promise them the world and don't deliver but they take what is on offer until they are done. Guys get used as well.

FLAWLES:
Not all women...........i can't imagin mahslf saying such words(i do d dumping´)+or its either i think we shld just go our separate way(ad das ntt dumping)

CoolHunk:
When I see that thing they call love in their eyes, that's when I decide it is a good time run. That shiit's scary!

FLAWLES:
.who ll come ll come.....ad who ll ntt ll ntt(mtswww)i de fined boyfriend abi suitor?

fairygeh:
It's because girls tend to be very emotional,especially after they invest so much in a relationship,money,sex,and still end up jilted.so after any heartbreak,they say they were used and dumped. However,i dislike the word with passion, I would rather say I was heartbroken than use the derogatory word used and dumped
I am not an object to be used.

lalasticlala:
It's so common for women to make such comments whenever a guy decides to end an affair with them:
"You think you can use and dump me", "he used and dumped me"?

What do they really mean by" use and dump "?

Is it that the guy had sex with her and left her? If yes, didn't she enjoy the sex too? Is it only the man that enjoys sex? If it's because of it, I don't think it's right to claim that a guy used and dumped a girl.

More so, the girl must have enjoyed lots of money, outings, clothes, jewellery, including sex while the relationship lasted, so why cry foul when the guy decides to end the affair by claiming that the guy dumped her after using her.

I haven't heard where a guy claimed that he was used and dumped. Only women say that.

Babes what do u mean by being used and dumped?

Guys has a girl ever told you that you used and dumped her?

lrguru:
can u pls type like a human, n not a namuh

fairygeh:
It's because girls tend to be very emotional,especially after they invest so much in a relationship,money,sex,and still end up jilted.so after any heartbreak,they say they were used and dumped. However,i dislike the word with passion, I would rather say I was heartbroken than use the derogatory word used and dumped
I am not an object to be used.

zubby29:
babe y call ur self a bitch?

FLAWLES:
.could u pls stop quoting me ad quote humans()

FrancisTony:
Durh! If a girl is hardworking, no guy will ever lie just to get into her pant.

Only lazy girls who depend solely on the guy money, would cry foul later on.

mizzkeji44:
Girls can only be used for sex,money etc if they really want to be used,but wen they say "you used and dumped me",they want sympathy and probably for their partner to stay.

Toks2008:
Lets face it.

In my humble opinion this use and dump situation will continue until we return to the days of our parents where marir=tal union is far more important than marriage ceremony which is the main reason many guys use and dump ladies because most are not financially ready for marriage ceremony even if they are matured mentally and psychologically.

You say your guy is not ready for marriage but you are ok with him squeezing the juice out of you since he is ever ready for that and while he is not ready for marriage,you are busy providing him what a wife will do for a husband.

I think you need to have your head examined.

A man who is not ready for marriage should not have a hard on and our ladies should wake up to understand that most guys out there are psychologically ready and matured for marital union but many are not ready to finance a marriage ceremony.

Too bad our mothers are not helping matters in this area as most Nigerian parents always want to see a glamorous wedding ceremony which is not bad at all provided there is readiness on the part of the couple involved or if they are ready to finance the event which is the case of many flamboyant weddings we see these days.

Unfortunately,this culture had crept nto our seemingly ignorant young ladies psyche hence making them an easy tool for guys to be sampled and dumped.

Some ladies have argued that they are not cheap hence the need for big wedding ceremony and i begin to wonder which is cheaper: getting laid as a girlfriend or getting married in a timely manner and ofcourse no one is ruling out a classy and expensive wedding if the funds are available.

Getting married and celebrating a marital union are two different things and since most Nigerian ladies have laid crazy emphasis on wedding ceremony and a big one at that rather than the main marital union,this has led to many guys just having fun sampling as many ladies as possible as they always say "im not ready for MARRIAGE CEREMONY NOW"

So,if you know your man is not financially ready to do a wedding ceremony then sit tight in your parents homes rather than foolishly give yourself to this guy that may end up dumping you anyways for a younger chic when he feels he is ready for a marriage ceremony.

I honestly do not see anything wrong in a young struggling jobless guy with a roof over his head coming for my daughter's hand in marriage.

As long as my daughter loves him, i wil simply ask him to bring his people and collect a bride price according to Jewish tradition as suggested by the bible in Deuteronomy 22:28-29 (PROVIDED HE MET HER A VIRGIN)

He can go with his wife after receiving blessings and anytime they are ready for the celebration of their union, they are free to do so.

Enough of this bondage we have subjected our daughters because we have made them more of sex objects to randy men because a matured lady needs a sexual relationship likewise a matured man and casting and binding the devil won't solve the situation on ground except they get married in a timely manner.

If you are a lady in love with a guy and the guy wants you to be his wife and he has at least a roof over his head, please take him home to your parents and let him pay your bride price and start your lives together.

When the money comes, both of you can celebrate your wedding.. Stop fooling yourselves laying crazy emphasis on marriage ceremony as a criterion for marital union.

If you like, say this is trash but please look around and see many of our ladies in their thirties still unmarried and ask yourself what is responsible for that growing situation?

A word is enough for the wise.

GlorifiedTunde:
when ladies stop sleeping with a guy they're not married to, they'll stop feeling used!

Sexual immorality is a sin, every guy who sleeps with you take a piece of you away because sex is a covenant each time its done.

Funny enough too, guys also feel used. Every guy in a relationship turns to a "maga", spending a lot to take care of some girl.

STOP SLEEPING WITH A GUY YOU'RE NOT MARRIED TO, THAT WAY YOU HAVE YOU HEADS UP HIGH EVEN IF THERE'S A BREAKUP!

Sophyrocks:
Honestly, before i started dating i used to hear a lot of all these sob stories from females. And then i wonder and ask 'why all these sob stories'? Is it that guys are this horrible? With time as i started dating and getting to know men, ive come to understand that a guy cannot use and dump you unless you allow him to. Its all about maintaining your standards as a lady and avoiding situations where you compromise your moral values to please a guy. guys will not force you to do what you dnt want to do. So really, all these sob stories of use and dump can be minimised if only ladies know what they want, try nnot to always use their emotions to make decisions, have standards and stick to it. Guys cannot be all that bad and horrible.

Toks2008:
I sense you believe you are so hot that guys will always come for you but you must know this.

Its one thing for man to marry you because he needs a wife and another thing for a man to marry you because you are decent enough.

DailyNews:
You made valid points, but the major reason why Nigerian ladies get used and dumped is GREED!

Our ladies always want something way bigger than them and its the cause of their predicament!

An average looking Nigerian girl from an average or poor family background will be turning down guys of her class while jumping around accepting guys that are way out of her league and still expect such guys to love her forever, lol.

One average looking Jane from average or poor family background will be daydreaming to date/marry tall, handsome, rich Frankie and be turning down guys of her class who would love and cherish her forever. Of course Frankie will date u, chop u and clean mouth, and then move on to next available Janeth

Ladies ought to learn, times have changed- men now want to date and marry their class...so b4 u go daydreaming of dating or marrying a rich, tall, handsome guy, pls check yourself- are u super-pretty, classy, and from a rich family background If not, I pirry you cos u are operating on luck!

If u don't want to be used and dumped by many guys as a lady, go for your class! Stop hanging your clothe where your hand can't reach cos u will be jumping up everyday to take it.

Once a Nigerian lady has big/average bosom, azz and able to get money to buy a Cambodian abi Guatemalan weavon, she now sees herself as a hot girl, a classy girl that ought to date only the rich; the Otedolas, Dangotes, Nzeribes, Lulu Briggs, Kalus, etc...and when she gets chopped and dropped, she go screaming fowl: ALL MEN ARE THE SAME!! Pls what happened to all your class of guys you turned down just because of your selfishness and greed Let's be real abeg!!;

But then, using and dumping will continue no matter what I preach cos ladies won't ever listen, so let it BURN, let it BURN