Timbuktou:


1. You need to go change your panties. I think your heavy flow has seeped into them and you're distracted, which is why you have refused to make sense or comprehend anything I've written.

2. Well, blame the laws, missy. Husbands are getting fvcked as we speak and their only recourse is to take lives. Theirs, their spouses, their kids or all three at a go. The fathers who should look after the kids are being disposed off as non-essential commodities while ensuring that their resources are funnelled to the very homes they have been kicked out of. That, right there, is Family Damage 101. The kids are fvcked once daddy leaves. And who kicks daddy out, mommy. Blame the mothers.

3. Sophy, the hair I shed is more logical than you will ever be. Don't go there. You're going to make the word 'logic' lose its respect.

4. Don't be a sensationalist. I didn't blame the child bride killer up north. Not until I heard the number of her victims. Truth is humans will lash out one way or the other. The fact that this is not a one-off makes it worth looking into.

5. What do these women stand to lose if they leave their husbands? Take any basstard husband husband to a Nigerian court and see if the case will not be decided in your favour. You are too ignorant to talk about marital disputes. You are not married, you're not a social worker. The highest you've done is open your yansh for carrots to enter. That does not equate to knowledge on this matter.

6. If being alive is worse than death, what do you lose by dying?

7. Look at this imbeciile talking like she knows what's up. You have contributed nothing but hysterics to this topic. You have presented not a single line of insight or fact and you're mentioning 'logic'. How dare you? What arrogant ignorance. Gtfoh

lmao.........This made my day. Cant stop laughing.......

Timbuktou:
By nairaland's most famous feminists, no less....

LOL.. i just dey laff

carefreewannabe:


Thanks, you too.

cool

carefreewannabe:


People marry for different reasons. You have to ask her why she wants to get married. I cannot answer on her behalf.

I can only say that marriage can be a beautiful thing with the right partner but it can also go wrong and it is not for everyone.

If you go by what you hear on social media by females, marriage serves no purpose
It is anachronistic and serves only the man's purpose
So why bother like you say

Cohabit away!!!

freecocoa:
Who is to say his motive for getting married isn't to bring her to work and take all she earns, plus even abuse and enslave her? He married her, right? Why did he marry her?

he married her cos he was led to believe she's a honest decent woman. you guys forget many nigerian men go back to marry the girlfriends they left behind.

Paddi me na lie jor, there are procedures/processes in a criminal case, it is not a he said/she said thing jare, anything other than this is not lawful, no be who first call popo dey win case, get real.

in the US/UK. a woman can have her hubby kicked out of the house without any physical abuse. she only needs to claim she feels threatened by him in the house. police would escort the man out of his house to go find somewhere to sleep for the night. if she lies that she was abused, the man will be arrested instantly.

why do you think men are starting to shun marriage?

The disregard can be on the part of the man, he cheats,abuses her and expects her to be an obedient and faithful wife, she refuses and wants to fight back, he shoots her, boom!

why is it that it's only after the women start earning $$$ they suddenly find out he's cheating? you surely don't believe what you wrote up there, do you?

Now you are making it sound like the legal system should not be taken serious here, so all lies win in court now, haba Oga sir, if that's the case, we shouldn't be having this conversation.

i dunno about nigeria.... but the legal system in the western world concerning domestic abuse is highly flawed.

I will catch you first, punch your face, lie and have you thrown in jail.

just make sure you are out of the country when i get released from jail. word to my momma, i will shoot every piece of bone in your body.

That's one desperate and wicked woman, we can't judge all women based on her actions, now can we?

so now you agree there are desperate and wicked women? finally, we are getting somewhere. i just don't think all the men in the OP's article are mentally-deranged. many of them had no single criminal record before they shot their wives. they were provoked!

pickabeau1:


cool



If you go by what you hear on social media by females, marriage serves no purpose

Well, some men share these views.

It is anachronistic and serves only the man's purpose

This is too one-sided for my taste but if they feel this way, they can remain unmarried.

So why bother like you say

Cohabit away!!!

What's wrong with cohabitation?

aisha2:


Like I wrote above it happens to women here everyday yet they hardly go killing their spouses. Women are abandoned after years of hardwork and left to die bitter from heart break am sure everyone knows some woman in those shoes but it doesn't mean they should go killing. I asked 3 questions above If you have the time please respond

Excellent point.

Timbuktou:
Alright, alright. I get it. Let's play the alphabet game. XYz!!! CAC!! DJIDJKOHCKUGBB!! I seem to have better keyboard than you.

ROTFLMAO!!!!

irunoko:
Lord have mercy.so people actually justify murder?

Welcome to nairaland.

carefreewannabe:


Well, some men share these views.

Yep.depends on where they are coming from
Im sure they are tired of woman drama

This is too one-sided for my taste but if they feel this way, they can remain unmarried.

What's wrong with cohabitation?

Yep. marriage is not for everyone

i never said there was anything wrong with cohabitation

The guy in the post wanted it.. the girl wants marriage

Have u read this thread.. very funny

https://www.nairaland.com/2110745/livetweeting-breakup-observer

carefreewannabe:
Some people are unable to cope with life, psychologically too weak. They can't make it at home and they can't make it abroad. It's called failure, in these cases leading to tragedy.

Boom!

It's mostly a mental + mentality problem.

coogar:


he married her cos he was led to believe she's a honest decent woman. you guys forget many nigerian men go back to marry the girlfriends they left behind.



in the US/UK. a woman can have her hubby kicked out of the house without any physical abuse. she only needs to claim she feels threatened by him in the house. police would escort the man out of his house to go find somewhere to sleep for the night. if she lies that she was abused, the man will be arrested instantly.

why do you think men are starting to shun marriage?



why is it that it's only after the women start earning $$$ they suddenly find out he's cheating? you surely don't believe what you wrote up there, do you?



i dunno about nigeria.... but the legal system in the western world concerning domestic abuse is highly flawed.




just make sure you are out of the country when i get released from jail. word to my momma, i will shoot every piece of bone in your body.



so now you agree there are desperate and wicked women? finally, we are getting somewhere. i just don't think all the men in the OP's article are mentally-deranged. many of them had no single criminal record before they shot their wives. they were provoked!

The same way she married him, thinking he was a good man, only to find out he was a monster, it's a two way street coogar, you can't just blame her for it all.

I still find it hard to totally believe a man would lose all based on mere 'she said' arresting him based on that is one thing, jailing him and having him lose all based on that is another.

I never said that's only when she finds out but it could be all she needed to fight back, she could have been planning, you don't go shopping without money to pay for the good now do you?even if you buy on credit, you'll still pay at some point.

Okay let me agree that the system is flawed, now why is that? Don't you think that it could be because women have been maltreated for too long and the system wants to change this?

Not if I shoot you first na .

Ofcourse there are desperate women, just like there are evil men, I just don't agree that being provoked, justifies murder.

5minsmadness:

ROTFLMAO!!!!

Lol. I see what you did there.

andromida:


But why did the men marry such women? and if the women are so evil why not divorce them?

Seeing as a woman can break a man he should do his due diligence to marry a woman who is good for him and become the kind of man who can command respect from his wife so that the children can learn how to respect themselves and others.

sometimes no matter how a man tries, the true colour of a woman is never known until they end up being ur wife, u start seeing new attitude in them most especially those who feel intoxicated with wealth.

freecocoa:
The same way she married him, thinking he was a good man, only to find out he was a monster, it's a two way street coogar, you can't just blame her for it all.

she married him for the financial benefit. why didn't she marry her fellow villagers? why are you acting like you dunno there's a financial benefit attached to divorce?

I still find it hard to totally believe a man would lose all based on mere 'she said' arresting him based on that is one thing, jailing him and having him lose all based on that is another.

that's the reality....
"she said" can land any husband in jail with a twinkle of an eye.

I never said that's only when she finds out but it could be all she needed to fight back, she could have been planning, you don't go shopping without money to pay for the good now do you?even if you buy on credit, you'll still pay at some point.

so she had it in her mind for years before showing her true colours, and you still cannot see why their husbands resort to killing them?

Okay let me agree that the system is flawed, now why is that? Don't you think that it could be because women have been maltreated for too long and the system wants to change this?

the state is benefitting from it.
the system was deliberately made lop-sided so that the state can benefit from it.

Not if I shoot you first na .

let me catch you at the shopping mall.

Ofcourse there are desperate women, just like there are evil men, I just don't agree that being provoked, justifies murder.

remember the evil ugandan maid.
if the father of the abused child had killed the maid, would the murder have been justified?

there are plenty of situations where murder is more than justified even in marriage. paternity fraud is one of them. if a man who was forced to pay child support for a child that isn't his for 18 years suddenly realises he was defrauded & he shoots the fraudulent wife - the murder is justified in my book!

One of those women killed, I have met her before. She was so full of life. I met her like 5months before her death

But what I dont understand is the greed that made her marry a man 27yrs older than her

RIP

aisha2:


Its het fault when she works 16 hours a day and comes home and is expected to clean up, cook and care for the kids without complaint knowing fully well she can't get a househelp to help out abroad like we have here. A man who wants control will do anything to get it. Are there no women abroad? Why travel and marry a woman he doesn't know simply to bring her abroad and try to control her knowing the system abroad doesn't function like that?
He wants good roads, good health care a working system, a wife who earns well yet he still wants to act like an African cave man while enjoying the benefits of civilisation abroad.

I can't even deal with this line of thought, all women abroad are not evil, marry who you know and stop running to marry girls you don't know just so you can act like a barbarian abeg.
This is sad coming from someone abused so all thosr times you got beaten shebi you provoked your ex? You make it sound as if these women earn their deaths did you earn every slap and belt you received

Aisha2
you are poorly bred. You didnt need to insult to pass ur point across.

chigoizie7:
this is were we think that divorcing a woman in Europe is that easy, a man who brought a lady from Nigeria to London as a wife turned out to be hunted becaus the lady presumed she has better rights than he is, that's not good,(European Govt. supports women more than men by law. so why wont they misbehave? a Nigerian man wont tolerate that, well,when the couple visited Nigeria, the husband confiscated all her document,left her with no money, quarrel ensured and she threatened to sue him, the young man proudly said, sweetheart , "certainly not in Anambra". that's how she started begging that she will change, but the guy didn't hear any of it, he travelled without her. now the lady is back home alone with the mother in-law (now very humble and respectful) my question is, why wouldn't they respect the man while outside naija?

I respect the guy. He handled his wife with maturity. Easy solution to big problem, who will think of that!

pickabeau1:


Yep.depends on where they are coming from
Im sure they are tired of woman drama



Yep. marriage is not for everyone

i never said there was anything wrong with cohabitation

The guy in the post wanted it.. the girl wants marriage

Have u read this thread.. very funny

https://www.nairaland.com/2110745/livetweeting-breakup-observer

Not all. Some of them live with women and even have kids with them but decide not to get married.

coogar:


she married him for the financial benefit. why didn't she marry her fellow villagers? why are you acting like you dunno there's a financial benefit attached to divorce?



that's the reality....
"she said" can land any husband in jail with a twinkle of an eye.



so she had it in her mind for years before showing her true colours, and you still cannot see why their husbands resort to killing them?



the state is benefitting from it.
the system was deliberately made lop-sided so that the state can benefit from it.



let me catch you at the shopping mall.



remember the evil ugandan maid.
if the father of the abused child had killed the maid, would the murder have been justified?

there are plenty of situations where murder is more than justified even in marriage. paternity fraud is one of them. if a man who was forced to pay child support for a child that isn't his for 18 years suddenly realises he was defrauded & he shoots the fraudulent wife - the murder is justified in my book!

So all those women are now from poor homes abi? Na wa for you o, there's just no chance that she can actually be the victim? God is seeing you o.

I no argue on that one again.

What do you mean about showing true colors? So the man that pretended to be nice and married her only to turn her into a punching bag nko? She did the wise thing by not making irrational decisions like poisoning him or shooting him,she's the more sensible person here.

Just kuku say the state put these women up to it so as to gain from such situations.

You know you can't hurt me jor, i'll cry and say I'm sorry and you'll forgive me .

And you compare a full fat cow-like adult abusing an infant to husband and wife issues? I giff up coogar.

aisha2:


Okay, now I must admit you need mental help. This is sick, so its okay to kill her because she is rude. Mutter with all due respect you are not sane. Your own ex husband didn't kill you, but because you are alive and living you can spew this for other abused women justifying their murder. This is sick

No one is justifying their actions. Murder is a crime. But this has become rampant which brings the need to figure out the solution which mainly lies with the woman. When such murder case occur the husband is usually aware of the the consequences damning it, just like someone ready to die. Most of them don't run away from the law rather they wait for the law or go to the law because life has become meaningless to them. Women should try and make things right.

I know a guy who is trying to divorce his wife of 10yrs, they didnt have any child together. they have been separated for 4yrs within which the wife got pregnant for another guy

The woman claims she doesnt know the father of the baby, that they just met at an outing and had a quickie

DNA has proven the husband isnt the father but the judge insist that since the child was born within that marriage regardless of DNA he should pay the child support


He hasnt proceeded with the divorce, In that case freecocoa that an example of how twisted the law can be

iykedare:




lmao.........This made my day. Cant stop laughing.......

Hehehehe. Don't mind me. Was just being naughty.

freecocoa:
So all those women are now from poor homes abi? Na wa for you o, there's just no chance that she can actually be the victim? God is seeing you o. I no argue on that one again.

of course she could be a victim.
my point is, not all men are monsters and not all wives are saints.

What do you mean about showing true colors? So the man that pretended to be nice and married her only to turn her into a punching bag nko? She did the wise thing by not making irrational decisions like poisoning him or shooting him,she's the more sensible person here.

if she poisons him, forensic evidence would catch up with her and jail her. what they normally do is to deliberately cheat on their husband and ask for a divorce.

Just kuku say the state put these women up to it so as to gain from such situations.

that's exactly what the state is doing. if you attach an incentive to a process unjustly, then it's expected that some people would want to take advantage of the process.

You know you can't hurt me jor, i'll cry and say I'm sorry and you'll forgive me .

of course na.....
on top of that, i will get you a brand new car to wipe off your crocodile tears.

And you compare a full fat cow-like adult abusing an infant to husband and wife issues? I giff up coogar.

would murder be justified in that instance?
freecocoa, don't give up yet. you have an unanswered question left.

raumdeuter:
I know a guy who is trying to divorce his wife of 10yrs, they didnt have any child together. they have been separated for 4yrs within which the wife got pregnant for another guy

The woman claims she doesnt know the father of the baby, that they just met at an outing and had a quickie

DNA has proven the husband isnt the father but the judge insist that since the child was born within that marriage regardless of DNA he should pay the child support


He hasnt proceeded with the divorce, In that case freecocoa that an example of how twisted the law can be

i hope your guy is very rich.

raumdeuter:
I know a guy who is trying to divorce his wife of 10yrs, they didnt have any child together. they have been separated for 4yrs within which the wife got pregnant for another guy

The woman claims she doesnt know the father of the baby, that they just met at an outing and had a quickie

DNA has proven the husband isnt the father but the judge insist that since the child was born within that marriage regardless of DNA he should pay the child support


He hasnt proceeded with the divorce, In that case freecocoa that an example of how twisted the law can be

Even though they were separated during the time she got pregnant? I really doubt that this is how the story really went down.

ileobatojo:


Even though they were separated during the time she got pregnant? I really doubt that this is how the story really went down.

I know him and they have been separated, He was for the most part in Nigeria and the wife got pregnant in the US. The wife told the judge she doesnt know who the father was.

The judge insist someone has to take of the child and since the child was had within the marriage time frame, Child support payment defaults to the separated husband until they can produce the real biological father

He wanted to move on and remarry but has to divorce his current wife and the judge says he has to pay child support.

Sensationalism at its best...For every one man that snaps (yeah snaps cos that's not normal behaviour.i agree though that some people are mentally unstable and can't cope when dealt with hurtful blows) and kills his wife and makes his children orphans effectively there are 20 that move on. Of course we will get to hear of those that snap cos bad news travels faster.

Besides i don't even think it's aNigerian man or Nigerian thing (every community has its idiosyncracies so maybe the Nigerian issue is the wife growing 'wings' or not showing respect) I think its just people snapping and killing their spouses. I still heard on the news this week about a spanish guy (can't remember the nationality but oyinbo sha) who killed his wife and chopped her into pieces.

Redoil:
Women with their bad mouth causing problems and confusion in the life of men since the days of adam and eve.

You are senseless and a potential murderer

coogar:


of course she could be a victim.
my point is, not all men are monsters and not all wives are saints.



if she poisons him, forensic evidence would catch up with her and jail her. what they normally do is to deliberately cheat on their husband and ask for a divorce.



that's exactly what the state is doing. if you attach an incentive to a process unjustly, then it's expected that some people would want to take advantage of the process.



of course na.....
on top of that, i will get you a brand new car to wipe off your crocodile tears.



would murder be justified in that instance?
freecocoa, don't give up yet. you have an unanswered question left.

Never said all men are monsters or wives saints, any man who kills his wife for not wanting to share his assets could pass for a monster though.

If she's the one who cheated and asked for a divorce, shouldn't the man be the one getting more? If no, then the system is indeed flawed but then again,I don't believe it's exactly the way you make it out to be.

That's what I'm talking about, that's how a "real" man should treat a woman, buy her car to wipe her tears, you da man .

Yes o, murder can be justified here biko, we are talking of a defenseless baby.

carefreewannabe:


It does, I enjoy the discussions a lot.

Don't worry, I can finish part of the work from home.

Sometimes, it's enjoyable. Sometimes, it's crazy.

carefreewannabe: You are right to say that it happens for different reasons.

However, to kill anyone or yourself because you have to pay child support for a child, that is not yours, is defeat. That's not the right way to go about it, not effective and not reasonable.

I also agree that men are OFTEN treated unfairly in family courts and that something has to be done about it, even though in many cases it is not as bad as Nairalanders portray it , but killing or suicide are not the way out.

There are also cases, and it shouldn't be forgotten, in which women are treated unfairly.

A good friend of mine told me that after divorce her aunt had to pay alimony for her husband, which made her income just enough to live on. Her husband used to have a shop and he never correctly stated how much he sells and earns in his tax declaration in order to pay less tax on income.
Officially she was the higher earner even though he made more money than she did. The judge ordered her to pay her ex husband alimony, leaving her back with very little, when her husband actually earned more and had the guts to take the money from her, the judge ordered her to pay.

To say that men in the West are victims of the system and always on the receiving end is too simple. The reality is more complex.

Carefree, believe me when I say there is a growing number of men boycotting marriage altogether, one of the reasons being the fate of a divorced husband and father, and not because they don't like the idea of marriage.

Also, per your friend's aunt, what, really is the purpose of alimony? Now, we have a man who can fend for himself without a wife who's receiving money regularly from this woman. I mean, what's the point? And she can barely get by too. Come on. This is what millions of men go through. I assure you, reviewing divorce laws to cater to only real cases with curb the rate of frivolous divorces.

Women, statistically, initiate about 65% of divorces, many of these frivolous as hell. And they can afford the luxury because they go through the divorce on someone else's expense. They have no financial commitments, not even lawyer fees. Come on. If you want a divorce, you should leave as you came, with nothing. You can't just welcome your husband home from work with a divorce petition(meanng his loss of his home, children and half of his income) and expect him to be shitting roses. In Nigeria, you cannot try that shiit and be alive. I dare the Nigerian government to initiate half the bullshiit laws running the west and the population boom problem will be solved. Once a woman tells her bf she's pregnant she'd not be safe.

It's damn sickening.

freecocoa:
Never said all men are monsters or wives saints, any man who kills his wife for not wanting to share his assets could pass for a monster though.

If she's the one who cheated and asked for a divorce, shouldn't the man be the one getting more? If no, then the system is indeed flawed but then again,I don't believe it's exactly the way you make it out to be..

The one with most asset gives

husband is richer, the wife cheats or is bored with the marriage, they get divorced, the asset which is more or less the richer spouses would be split into two

E.g If Mikels wife cheats on him and they file for divorce, The family asset would be split into two and its obvious the one with more financial investment(Mikel) would be the loser while the wife cleans even after the infidelity and vice versa if it was the wife who is richer

If they have children, then the woman would be granted custody and stay in the house while the husband has to find his way

Kedam:
No one is justifying their actions. Murder is a crime. But this has become rampant which brings the need to figure out the solution which mainly lies with the woman. When such murder case occur the husband is usually aware of the the consequences damning it, just like someone ready to die. Most of them don't run away from the law rather they wait for the law or go to the law because life has become meaningless to them. Women should try and make things right.

You are just typical. Let me teach you what I teach 5 year old children since no one bothered to teach you. Your emotions are your responsibility. Whatever you choose to do with them you should take responsibility for. This is just a basic life truth. A 1 year old already understands the consequences of smacking his mother because she's not shoving food fast enough into his mouth. We have full grown men here talking about its someone else's fault that they grabbed a knife and chopped a human being to pieces. Some people should just kill themselves. I'm so disgusted with this thread