₦airaland Forum

slimmy05:
You are ignorant of the truth. You need to start reading the bible yourself rather what pure being told. Read the bible yourself and tell where it is written that Christ destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah cos of homosexuality?

Vyolet:
I do not believe anyone was born gay. You are what you feel you are.

The good thing is,you have a sense of guilt already,just try and mingle more with women. Pick one from the numerous around you,study her and get involved with her sexually if she is willing. You will get used to it with time.

Depressedguy:
Being gay is my life regret, i have questioned God and myself how i got to this stage. I just feel like commiting suicide.

Here is my story, my name is Frank, 26, a banker. I am the envy of most women, because am 6.2" tall, fair and very handsome. My nickname is Ramsey Noah, this is to tell you how good looking i am. But i have a very BIG problem, i am attracted to the same sex.

This is a problem i have come to notice at teen, i love girls company more than guys, i play all the girl plays and hate football, am guessing that could be where my formation was transposed. I ended up liking what girls like when am not one. But i have come to change a few things becuase i went to a boarding house and was always ridiculed for that. So i changed so many things there, the way i talk, the way i walk, and my gestures, also i love football now more than anything, but my sexuality has refused to change.

I have all it takes to get a woman, i have a good job, a car, and live alone. But at this age, i have not seen a womans pants not to talk of getting in between. But i have so many female friends, so many that the always take me for a player. Am jovial with them, buy them gifts and treat them well, but am not sexually attracted to any of them and have no feelings whatsoever. Am just a good guy, i know that, because that is the best i can do to cover up my little secret. And they(ladies) love me too and many are dying for my attention. I have been asked out so many times by ladies. One even offered to pay all the bills just for us to get intimate, but i declined, lying that i have a girlfriend i dont want to cheat on.

To make matters worse, i hate being gay, sometimes i go celibate for as long as six(6) months simply because i hate my life and my sexuality. Am always alone, indoors all through the weekend, because going out with guys will result to girl talk and i have nothing to contribute, me of all persons, so hard to believe. I also hate gay companies, so many regrets afterwards as to why i am this way. I envy straight guys to the core, i so much wish i am one. When i see a guy and a girl holding hands and taking a walk, i have this feeling of giult amd hatred for myself that i quickly get depressed.

Here is the problem, i want to marry early, at least before 28 or max 30. I need to connect to a woman and force myself into a relationship. I need to get attracted to a womans body, and get turned on by that. And finally, i need to learn how to tolerate a woman, and live with thier baggage. Am comfortable as a single man, i dont mind living alone till i die, i can cook well and am not a sex freak, i can live for years without it. But i want kids, i love them and cant wait to have a daughter. I have once told myself that once i get married and have kids, i will divoorce my wife and live alone then the kids can stay anywhere. But this idea is pure foolishness.

I am very religious, as a matter if fact, this conditionn is the only sin i battle with, i know we all have one. I hardly commit any other sin. But i know that just this one is very mortal, but we are all strugglling because we are all flesh. It takes the grace of God to overcome sin generally.(Please dont come and critisize, we are all going to the same hell: homosexual, hetrosexual; and no sin is worse than the other.)

This my condition is getting me more depressed by the day and sometimes i wish to end my life. But i like my life more than anything, so am thinking of patronising prostitutes at least to get feel of what it takes like. But am afriad of STIs.

Please help a brother...

slimmy05:
You are ignorant of the truth. You need to start reading the bible yourself rather what pure being told. Read the bible yourself and tell where it is written that Christ destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah cos of homosexuality?

Genesis chapter 19 records the two angels, disguised as human men, visiting Sodom and Gomorrah. Lot met the angels in the city square and urged them to stay at his house. The angels agreed. The Bible then informs us, "Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom — both young and old — surrounded the house. They called to Lot, 'Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.'" The angels then proceed to blind all the men of Sodom and Gomorrah and urge Lot and his family to flee from the cities to escape the wrath that God was about to deliver. Lot and his family flee the city, and then "the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah — from the LORD out of the heavens. Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, including all those living in the cities..."

In light of the passage, the most common response to the question "What was the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah?" is that it was homosexuality. That is how the term "sodomy" came to be used to refer to anal sex between two men, whether consensual or forced. Clearly, homosexuality was part of why God destroyed the two cities. The men of Sodom and Gomorrah wanted to perform homosexual gang rape on the two angels (who were disguised as men). At the same time, it is not biblical to say that homosexuality was the exclusive reason why God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. The cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were definitely not exclusive in terms of the sins in which they indulged.

Ezekiel 16:49-50 declares, "Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me..." The Hebrew word translated "detestable" refers to something that is morally disgusting and is the exact same word used in Leviticus 18:22 that refers to homosexuality as an "abomination." Similarly, Jude 7 declares, "...Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion." So, again, while homosexuality was not the only sin in which the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah indulged, it does appear to be the primary reason for the destruction of the cities.

Those who attempt to explain away the biblical condemnations of homosexuality claim that the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah was inhospitality. The men of Sodom and Gomorrah were certainly being inhospitable. There is probably nothing more inhospitable than homosexual gang rape. But to say God completely destroyed two cities and all their inhabitants for being inhospitable clearly misses the point. While Sodom and Gomorrah were guilty of many other horrendous sins, homosexuality was the reason God poured fiery sulfur on the cities, completely destroying them and all of their inhabitants. To this day, the area where Sodom and Gomorrah were located remains a desolate wasteland. Sodom and Gomorrah serve as a powerful example of how God feels about sin in general, and homosexuality specifically.

Read more: http://www.gotquestions.org/Sodom-and-Gomorrah.html#ixzz3VjHvs1pC

nobilis:
OP, first and foremost, thanks for being so frank. Very few people can summon such courage.

Being gay is not evil. Yes. You read me right. Being gay is not evil. Even the bible never condemned being gay. What the bible talked about was having sex with someone of the same gender. But that will be talk for another day.

Secondly, you have prayed and prayed and nothing seems to work. Does it mean God doesn't answer your prayers? No. It means that there is nothing wrong with you.

If you keep feeling you need to change, then you will always be depressed and in the end, you might end up committing suicide. And that will be a loss to you, your family and society.

Do not mind people who tell you that homosexuality can be corrected. It cannot. Because it is not a disorder nor an aberration. The American Psychiatric Association wasn't foolish when they removed it from their catalogue of diseases.

All those people who are quoted to have escaped homosexuality, try and trace their lives afterwards. And you will see things for yourself.
And all those people who are overtly homophobic, follow their lives nd you'll see things for yourself.

Getting married will not make you straight. Having sex with women will not make you straight. Even if you have as many women as Solomon had, it cannot make you straight. It cannot drown that same-sex attraction. It is a part of who you are.

Inasmuch as it is a part of who you are, dont make your life to be centered around your sexuality. That you're gay doesn't mean you can't be successful in your life nd career. Learn how to balance your life with your sexuality. That is the only way you can battle this depression you're talking about. Getting married will not make u overcome this depression. Rather it will make it worse (unless you're bisexual).

What you need in your life now is a close friend and confidante. Someone who can understand you. Someone who cn be there for you and also keep an eye on you and ur depressive tendencies. Whether man or woman, it doesnt matter. But that is the first step to healing yourself.

Then as time goes on, other steps will be made available to you.

daben1:
childish!!!

nobilis:
OP, first and foremost, thanks for being so frank. Very few people can summon such courage.

Being gay is not evil. Yes. You read me right. Being gay is not evil. Even the bible never condemned being gay. What the bible talked about was having sex with someone of the same gender. But that will be talk for another day.

Secondly, you have prayed and prayed and nothing seems to work. Does it mean God doesn't answer your prayers? No. It means that there is nothing wrong with you.

If you keep feeling you need to change, then you will always be depressed and in the end, you might end up committing suicide. And that will be a loss to you, your family and society.

Do not mind people who tell you that homosexuality can be corrected. It cannot. Because it is not a disorder nor an aberration. The American Psychiatric Association wasn't foolish when they removed it from their catalogue of diseases.

All those people who are quoted to have escaped homosexuality, try and trace their lives afterwards. And you will see things for yourself.
And all those people who are overtly homophobic, follow their lives nd you'll see things for yourself.

Getting married will not make you straight. Having sex with women will not make you straight. Even if you have as many women as Solomon had, it cannot make you straight. It cannot drown that same-sex attraction. It is a part of who you are.

Inasmuch as it is a part of who you are, dont make your life to be centered around your sexuality. That you're gay doesn't mean you can't be successful in your life nd career. Learn how to balance your life with your sexuality. That is the only way you can battle this depression you're talking about. Getting married will not make u overcome this depression. Rather it will make it worse (unless you're bisexual).

What you need in your life now is a close friend and confidante. Someone who can understand you. Someone who cn be there for you and also keep an eye on you and ur depressive tendencies. Whether man or woman, it doesnt matter. But that is the first step to healing yourself.

Then as time goes on, other steps will be made available to you.

Depressedguy:
Wow, the best advice so far. Thanks bro

alberto2k:
Taa! Goan cut that your abuna!

Or what other help do u need?

Oh oh.... sorry, you need a knife?
idiat!

ronald4lif:
Yes boss. That's my opinion and I stand by it.

But for the fact that I'm dealing with an overly religious people I'll have to modify that post. Not because I have a different view but coz no one has reacted to the comment with counter- facts except religious sentiments and resorting to verbal attack.

[color=#1980BC]i'm not on the religious side at all.
Your advice was something like he should accept who he is because that's just the way he is.
Will you give the same advice to someone who comes here and talks about how he has been practising bestiality and wants to change?
[/color]

Ernieman:
Fvcking Bastard! If u don't av anything to say, why not shut ur rotten, smelly mouth Up! Mehn, Fvck U Idiat!

Kentrasso:
Nigerian mentality. So barbaric

Mobbie:
Depressedguy I just rejoined Nairaland, right now, because of you .

so..How to advice fellow gay guy without sounding like a terrible snob:

1) Focus on his story and how cliche it is. Stress that it is only your opinion that the story is the usual attention seeking depression narrative, so that everyone realizes that you do not appreciate self loathing closet gays, and that this is your fault only.

2) Explain (gently and calmly) that being gay is not a sufficient reason to be depressed, and it is very irritating to happy, non-self loathing gay men to see their sexuality being used as a reason to be depressed.

3) Also, mention valid reasons people have to be depressed: Death of loved ones, unfair persecution, loss of life's savings, death of an expected child et al. Crack joke about the successful 26 year old banker that is depressed while the female beggar on the street I tip once in a while has things to laugh about, and hope he doesn't hate me for it.

4) Do not criticize the budding narcissism seen in the story because you are not in a position to understand how a guy who regrets being gay and says he has everything he needs to get women, including demigod looks, cannot see the irony in his own words.

5) Do not say that his desperate attempt to change his REAL self in boarding school due to RIDICULE and PEER PRESSURE was very sad to read indeed.

6) However, do say that maybe he needs to accept who he is before he makes any further decisions, and share with him the words of Rita Mae Brown.

“I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.”
― Rita Mae Brown

From a very happy, non-loathing, God Loving gay bro

repogirl:
LOOOOOOOOOOL! LMFAO! Seriously dude? where do you think the word sodomy was coined from? Sodom and Gomorrah were so perverse, they wanted to sleep with angels!!!! Dude please go back to sleep, I am sure you are sleep-typing, LOOOOL, I havent laughed this hard in a long time.

please educate yourself, O ye ignorant one!!


Read genesis 19, specifically from verse 5 onwards and you will see Lot even begging the men to sleep with his virgin daughters but na men them wan do, looool!!!!

dovelike:
He came here, stating his problems and you are calling him ewu? It's pple like you that brings Nigeria sooooo down.

Mobbie:
(Posted again for the heck of it)
Depressedguy I just rejoined Nairaland, right now, because of you .

so..How to advice fellow gay guy without sounding like a terrible snob:

1) Focus on his story and how cliche it is. Stress that it is only your opinion that the story is the usual attention seeking depression narrative, so that everyone realizes that you do not appreciate self loathing closet gays, and that this is your fault only.

2) Explain (gently and calmly) that being gay is not a sufficient reason to be depressed, and it is very irritating to happy, non-self loathing gay men to see their sexuality being used as a reason to be depressed.

3) Also, mention valid reasons people have to be depressed: Death of loved ones, unfair persecution, loss of life's savings, death of an expected child et al. Crack joke about the successful 26 year old banker that is depressed while the female beggar on the street I tip once in a while has things to laugh about, and hope he doesn't hate me for it.

4) Do not criticize the budding narcissism seen in the story because you are not in a position to understand how a guy who regrets being gay and says he has everything he needs to get women, including demigod looks, cannot see the irony in his own words.

5) Do not say that his desperate attempt to change his REAL self in boarding school due to RIDICULE and PEER PRESSURE was very sad to read indeed.

6) However, do say that maybe he needs to accept who he is before he makes any further decisions, and share with him the words of Rita Mae Brown.

“I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.”
― Rita Mae Brown

From a very happy, non-loathing, God Loving gay bro

Modified to include this:
evegran nobilis your advice is wonderful

Dindera:
You are wicked n evil!


To OP...U need to believe that anything is possible when God is involved. Your life will totally and completely change when you believe and trust in Him. U weren't born that way, to me, I think it's how u view ur self that matters. U see ur self as one that's gay? Then that's what u will be. U have to change urself by Changing what u think u are! God will see you through. I advice you to read ur bible more often than you used to do, Hangout with friends and REMOVE ur mind from whatever that wants to keep you in bondage. Just be Happy but always pray cos that's the Key.

Remain blessed.

BecaciaBarbie:
Op worry less.....you weren't born gay, and I believe is just a psychological problem. Most of us at one point in life were once attracted to the same sex! Yes! Except we all wanna lie to ourselves. Gayism is the handwork of the devil and can only be overcomed if you are prayerful and determined! You need to stop seeing yourself as one, tell yourself "I'm a straight guy and I am sexually attracted to women" delete every mindset you have within yourself about being a gay, get a girl with good characters and start up a relationship with her right away , forget the fact that you might not be sexually attracted to her , just start something and I'm pretty sure with time you will develop strong and sexual feelings for her , tho I'll warn you against premarital sex if you really keen on pleasing God. It is well.

slimmy05:
A perfect God creature is the handiwork of a devil? How is gayism psychological? OMG, outright lack of knowledge. No atom of being open minded. Shame really, am out of this thread.

NobleG1:
If you're gay, you're gay. You can't change you who you are. Have you seen any hetrosexual who became gay?

Be yourself. Don't change anything about yourself for anyone. This is who you are. You were born that way. Don't ever think of commiting suicide. There're hundreds of millions of gays and lesbians in the world.

You don't need to worry about anything. You can look for websites that support gays and lesbians. I'm not gay but I don't discriminate. Gays and lesbian are people too.

If people attack you for being gay, ask them to tell you when they chose their sexual orientation.

Cheers mate!

slimmy05:
You are an ignorant dunderhead. I asked a simple question and your saying trash. "Did Christ destroy sodom and Gomorrah for homosexuality" you simply just showed how blind and silly you are.

Let me quote some for you and I want you to show where he destroyed Sodom and Gomorah due to homosexualit. Jeremiah 23:14:"...among the prophets of Jerusalem I have seen something horrible: They commit adultery and live a lie. They strengthen the hands of evildoers, so that no one turns from his wickedness. They are all like Sodom to me; the people of Jerusalem are like Gomorrah." Jeremiah compares the actions of the prophets with the adultery, lying and evil of the people of Sodom.
1; The entire first chapter is an utter condemnation of Judah. They are repeatedly compared with Sodom and Gomorrah in their evildoing and depravity. Throughout the chapter, the Prophet lists many sins of the people: rebelling against God, lacking in knowledge, deserting the Lord, idolatry, engaging in meaningless religious ritual, being unjust and oppressive to others, being insensitive to the needs of widows and orphans, committing murder, accepting bribes, etc.

Now, this is why Sodom and Gomorah was destroyed: Ezekiel 16:49-50:"Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen." God states clearly that he destroyed Sodom's sins because of their pride, their excess of food while the poor and needy suffered; sexual activity is not even mentioned.You are a lazy and ignorant dunderhead. Gullible followers. I don't have time for dull heads like you. This is my last response to you.