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Gay And Depressed. - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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What Can Someone Do To Make A Man Sad And Depressed? / Am Lonely, Frustrated And Depressed!!! Help / Have You Ever Been Approached By Gay And Lesbian. Share Your Thought (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Gay And Depressed. by Nobody: 5:35pm On Mar 28, 2015
simdam500:


Does his write up remind u of something? shocked

Not really
I just empathize with the op's situation to a certain level.....
Re: Gay And Depressed. by ronald4lif(m): 5:35pm On Mar 28, 2015
martineverest:
Says who?....orientation can be changed....y do we need psychologist?.....gayism is not natural,abeg

Is gay an orientation? Is there a new meaning to the term orientation?
Re: Gay And Depressed. by Depressedguy: 5:36pm On Mar 28, 2015
ronald4lif:


You still don't get it. People don't change their sexuality, it's a natural trait. Can a heterosexual change to gay, will you advise heterosexual to become gay?

You are right bro, in all my research, the only remedy is abstinence and suppression. Gays in medical rehabs are only taught how to suppress there feelings for same sex and avoid those who turn them on. And most especially, pray about it.

1 Like

Re: Gay And Depressed. by simdam500(m): 5:38pm On Mar 28, 2015
missclasssy:

Not really
I just empathize with the op's situation to a certain level.....

Hmm diff stroke for diff folks... he'll pass if he make up his mind sad
Re: Gay And Depressed. by martineverest(m): 5:38pm On Mar 28, 2015
A kind of sexual orientation.
ronald4lif:


Is gay an orientation? Is there a new meaning to the term orientation?
Re: Gay And Depressed. by ronald4lif(m): 6:02pm On Mar 28, 2015
martineverest:
A kind of sexual orientation.

Baba, you win biko. I don't have the strength for this gayish argument again. Na amebo push me to this one again. cheesy
Re: Gay And Depressed. by martineverest(m): 6:10pm On Mar 28, 2015
Ok,my oga.....but nxt time no support gay
ronald4lif:


Baba, you win biko. I don't have the strength for this gayish argument again. Na amebo push me to this one again. cheesy
Re: Gay And Depressed. by ronald4lif(m): 6:11pm On Mar 28, 2015
martineverest:
Ok,my oga.....but nxt time no support gay

Okay boss, noted.
Re: Gay And Depressed. by rockshandy(f): 6:13pm On Mar 28, 2015
OP, I applaud you for coming here and sharing your story and knowing that not everyone will be kind to you. It takes courage, but please don't be discouraged, there IS hope.

Firstly, you have a good job and you seem like an intelligent guy. I can't tell you whether to choose abstinence or suppression (I am not in your shoes), but whatever you choose, it doesn't mean that your life ends there. And don't be a recluse. Get out more, hang out with friends, get a hobby or maybe study towards something. Set some personal goals, like traveling to a new country and work towards it.

Try to take your mind off the negative thoughts. I know it won't be easy, but please don't see your sexual orientation as a death sentence, it is not that. I know that perhaps living in a country that is not that liberal brings more anxiety, but at the moment you are your own worst enemy because of all the negativity.

Please shake it off, count your blessings and know that tomorrow the sun will shine again.

Be strong beautiful soul...

7 Likes

Re: Gay And Depressed. by Dexnuel(m): 6:18pm On Mar 28, 2015
I feel ur pain..prayer n strng determination is wot u nid broda..

But first of al,thk God u r xtian,u nid 2 go 4 a confession if truly u ready 2 giv dz habit up n strt a new lyf..Doin dz on social media wnt really b effective..

Nt mandatory u go meet ur pastor 4 dz..Go 2 a far away church where dey wnt recognize u 4 confessn,meet their snr pastor n confess 2 him,by doin dz,u takin a bold step of kissin dz habit a gud bye n ask 4 Forgiveness...

Once u've done that,pray 2 God 4 a life partner..do as if u aint battlin wit diz kinda weakness n ask any lady u think suite ur taste out..4get abt ur sexual fantasy n concentrate on knwin her more..Itz actually a gradual process,wen u get closer,u gonna strt developin feelins 4 her wit tym bt pls endeavour 2 stay away 4rm anytin dt may lure u back 2 ur weakness.

Al d best..

3 Likes

Re: Gay And Depressed. by daben1(m): 7:25pm On Mar 28, 2015
alberto2k:
Taa! Goan cut that your abuna! angry

Or what other help do u need?

Oh oh.... sorry, you need a knife? undecided
idiat!
childish!!!

2 Likes

Re: Gay And Depressed. by nobilis: 7:33pm On Mar 28, 2015
OP, first and foremost, thanks for being so frank. Very few people can summon such courage.

Being gay is not evil. Yes. You read me right. Being gay is not evil. Even the bible never condemned being gay. What the bible talked about was having sex with someone of the same gender. But that will be talk for another day.

Secondly, you have prayed and prayed and nothing seems to work. Does it mean God doesn't answer your prayers? No. It means that there is nothing wrong with you.

If you keep feeling you need to change, then you will always be depressed and in the end, you might end up committing suicide. And that will be a loss to you, your family and society.

Do not mind people who tell you that homosexuality can be corrected. It cannot. Because it is not a disorder nor an aberration. The American Psychiatric Association wasn't foolish when they removed it from their catalogue of diseases.

All those people who are quoted to have escaped homosexuality, try and trace their lives afterwards. And you will see things for yourself.
And all those people who are overtly homophobic, follow their lives nd you'll see things for yourself.

Getting married will not make you straight. Having sex with women will not make you straight. Even if you have as many women as Solomon had, it cannot make you straight. It cannot drown that same-sex attraction. It is a part of who you are.

Inasmuch as it is a part of who you are, dont make your life to be centered around your sexuality. That you're gay doesn't mean you can't be successful in your life nd career. Learn how to balance your life with your sexuality. That is the only way you can battle this depression you're talking about. Getting married will not make u overcome this depression. Rather it will make it worse (unless you're bisexual).

What you need in your life now is a close friend and confidante. Someone who can understand you. Someone who cn be there for you and also keep an eye on you and ur depressive tendencies. Whether man or woman, it doesnt matter. But that is the first step to healing yourself.

Then as time goes on, other steps will be made available to you.

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: Gay And Depressed. by Depressedguy: 8:38pm On Mar 28, 2015
nobilis:
OP, first and foremost, thanks for being so frank. Very few people can summon such courage.

Being gay is not evil. Yes. You read me right. Being gay is not evil. Even the bible never condemned being gay. What the bible talked about was having sex with someone of the same gender. But that will be talk for another day.

Secondly, you have prayed and prayed and nothing seems to work. Does it mean God doesn't answer your prayers? No. It means that there is nothing wrong with you.

If you keep feeling you need to change, then you will always be depressed and in the end, you might end up committing suicide. And that will be a loss to you, your family and society.

Do not mind people who tell you that homosexuality can be corrected. It cannot. Because it is not a disorder nor an aberration. The American Psychiatric Association wasn't foolish when they removed it from their catalogue of diseases.

All those people who are quoted to have escaped homosexuality, try and trace their lives afterwards. And you will see things for yourself.
And all those people who are overtly homophobic, follow their lives nd you'll see things for yourself.

Getting married will not make you straight. Having sex with women will not make you straight. Even if you have as many women as Solomon had, it cannot make you straight. It cannot drown that same-sex attraction. It is a part of who you are.

Inasmuch as it is a part of who you are, dont make your life to be centered around your sexuality. That you're gay doesn't mean you can't be successful in your life nd career. Learn how to balance your life with your sexuality. That is the only way you can battle this depression you're talking about. Getting married will not make u overcome this depression. Rather it will make it worse (unless you're bisexual).

What you need in your life now is a close friend and confidante. Someone who can understand you. Someone who cn be there for you and also keep an eye on you and ur depressive tendencies. Whether man or woman, it doesnt matter. But that is the first step to healing yourself.

Then as time goes on, other steps will be made available to you.


Wow, the best advice so far. Thanks bro

4 Likes

Re: Gay And Depressed. by Nobody: 9:04pm On Mar 28, 2015
That awkward moment when you read a thread and you are truly blank and have no idea what to advice the poster. Because A you are against homosexuality. B you actually feel the OP pain.

I am 100% against homosexuality but then again your post moved me deeply. I feel terribly sorry for you. Theres nothing more painful then trying to deny your heart desire.

4 Likes

Re: Gay And Depressed. by Baddestguyp(m): 9:11pm On Mar 28, 2015
14 years undecided

1 Like

Re: Gay And Depressed. by deskossy(m): 9:13pm On Mar 28, 2015
Sorry bro don't know what to say...26 but haven't seen a girls pant?.jeez...try fk a woman and see how it feels!

1 Like

Re: Gay And Depressed. by Dexnuel(m): 10:05pm On Mar 28, 2015
Depressedguy:



Wow, the best advice so far. Thanks bro

So sorry if my intuition was wrong abt ur response regardin dz comment nt sayin it wrong..

4rm wot av noticed tru ur comments,my opinion tho!!dnt think u ready 2 chng despites al d epistle u've written,al u want is public sympathy n u gettin it already..Though,d oda side of u wanna giv up bt d oda half stil wanna explore n if u happen 2 find urself where dz acts is legalized,believe me u won't b bothered abt chngin at al..

Not sayin u yield 2 my advice neither applaudin u 2 go along wit other pple's opinion..

As an adult in ur late 20's,u shd knw d differences btw right n wrong..Jst knw if u chose d rite path,d reward is engraved wit apy endin n if otherwise,vice versa..

Aint perfect,also av my own dirty closet m tryin 2 tidy up..Sit urself down n av a deep tot abt u wanna do abt dz subject instead of being stucked in d middle.

9 Likes

Re: Gay And Depressed. by KevinBrown: 10:09pm On Mar 28, 2015
Depressedguy:
Being gay is my life regret, i have questioned God and myself how i got to this stage. I just feel like commiting suicide.

Here is my story, my name is Frank, 26, a banker. I am the envy of most women, because am 6.2" tall, fair and very handsome. My nickname is Ramsey Noah, this is to tell you how good looking i am. But i have a very BIG problem, i am attracted to the same sex.

This is a problem i have come to notice at teen, i love girls company more than guys, i play all the girl plays and hate football, am guessing that could be where my formation was transposed. I ended up liking what girls like when am not one. But i have come to change a few things becuase i went to a boarding house and was always ridiculed for that. So i changed so many things there, the way i talk, the way i walk, and my gestures, also i love football now more than anything, but my sexuality has refused to change.

I have all it takes to get a woman, i have a good job, a car, and live alone. But at this age, i have not seen a womans pants not to talk of getting in between. But i have so many female friends, so many that the always take me for a player. Am jovial with them, buy them gifts and treat them well, but am not sexually attracted to any of them and have no feelings whatsoever. Am just a good guy, i know that, because that is the best i can do to cover up my little secret. And they(ladies) love me too and many are dying for my attention. I have been asked out so many times by ladies. One even offered to pay all the bills just for us to get intimate, but i declined, lying that i have a girlfriend i dont want to cheat on.

To make matters worse, i hate being gay, sometimes i go celibate for as long as six(6) months simply because i hate my life and my sexuality. Am always alone, indoors all through the weekend, because going out with guys will result to girl talk and i have nothing to contribute, me of all persons, so hard to believe. I also hate gay companies, so many regrets afterwards as to why i am this way. I envy straight guys to the core, i so much wish i am one. When i see a guy and a girl holding hands and taking a walk, i have this feeling of giult amd hatred for myself that i quickly get depressed.

Here is the problem, i want to marry early, at least before 28 or max 30. I need to connect to a woman and force myself into a relationship. I need to get attracted to a womans body, and get turned on by that. And finally, i need to learn how to tolerate a woman, and live with thier baggage. Am comfortable as a single man, i dont mind living alone till i die, i can cook well and am not a sex freak, i can live for years without it. But i want kids, i love them and cant wait to have a daughter. I have once told myself that once i get married and have kids, i will divoorce my wife and live alone then the kids can stay anywhere. But this idea is pure foolishness.

I am very religious, as a matter if fact, this conditionn is the only sin i battle with, i know we all have one. I hardly commit any other sin. But i know that just this one is very mortal, but we are all strugglling because we are all flesh. It takes the grace of God to overcome sin generally.(Please dont come and critisize, we are all going to the same hell: homosexual, hetrosexual; and no sin is worse than the other.)

This my condition is getting me more depressed by the day and sometimes i wish to end my life. But i like my life more than anything, so am thinking of patronising prostitutes at least to get feel of what it takes like. But am afriad of STIs.

Please help a brother...

OP, If being gay is what makes you happy then be gay.

But since u said u really want to change due to ur religious belief, then its possible. Don't mind all the people that said its not possible.

Even though human's sexuality is hard coded into his genetic make up, with the right mixture of environmental, social, and psychological factors, its possible to be attracted to ANYTHING (male, female, children, animals, dead bodies e.t.c). That's Gross, but u get what I'm trying to say.

So before I will tell u what u can do, what type of guys are u attracted to? (It will help in determining what approach to take.)

2 Likes

Re: Gay And Depressed. by Nobody: 10:19pm On Mar 28, 2015
You were born this way and you cannot change that. Why would God make you this way if it wasn't his will? You can't force yourself to love women and to be faithful to one for the rest of your life.. I don't think this is possible for you or fair to her. I live in Canada and here we accept gays. They love, they marry and they have kids! If I were you and it was possible I would move somewhere more accepting of gay people, where I could accept myself and live a happy life.

11 Likes

Re: Gay And Depressed. by KevinBrown: 10:37pm On Mar 28, 2015
Rainess:
You were born this way and you cannot change that. Why would God make you this way if it wasn't his will? You can't force yourself to love women and to be faithful to one for the rest of your life.. I don't think this is possible for you or fair to her. I live in Canada and here we accept gays. They love, they marry and they have kids! If I were you and it was possible I would move somewhere more accepting of gay people, where I could accept myself and live a happy life.

I don't have a problem with someone being Gay, but God didn't make him Gay. Environmental and Psychological factors did. And its possible for him to change.

13 Likes

Re: Gay And Depressed. by Nobody: 10:38pm On Mar 28, 2015
KevinBrown:


I don't have a problem with someone being Gay, but God didn't make him Gay. Environmental and Psychological factors did. And its possible for him to change.
I completely disagree with you. You say it's possible for him to change from gay to straight. So do you think you to change from straight to gay? I know I couldn't.

6 Likes

Re: Gay And Depressed. by stevecantrell: 10:40pm On Mar 28, 2015
The OP is confusing a dislike for women for being gay. You have high standards, don't lower them.
Meet girls you think you might like and invite them home, get to know the kind of woman that appeals to you intellectually, emotionally and sexually.

Eventually, you'll find the right one.

You're NOT gay !

Keep telling yourself that.

8 Likes

Re: Gay And Depressed. by KevinBrown: 10:50pm On Mar 28, 2015
Rainess:

I completely disagree with you. You say it's possible for him to change from gay to straight. So do you think you to change from straight to gay? I know I couldn't.

Whatever I say is from experience. It's totally possible for someone to change from being straight to gay, and vice versa.

1 Like

Re: Gay And Depressed. by Nobody: 10:53pm On Mar 28, 2015
KevinBrown:


Whatever I say is from experience. It's totally possible for someone to change from being straight to gay, and vice versa.

Well you are now officially the only straight person I've ever talked to who thinks he/she could become gay.

1 Like

Re: Gay And Depressed. by chimerase2: 10:53pm On Mar 28, 2015
Op do u hv feelings 4 ua soap?

1 Like

Re: Gay And Depressed. by KevinBrown: 11:00pm On Mar 28, 2015
Rainess:


Well you are now officially the only straight person I've ever talked to who thinks he/she could become gay.

Lol.
I've been straight-gay-straight
Re: Gay And Depressed. by KevinBrown: 11:01pm On Mar 28, 2015
chimerase2:
Op do u hv feelings 4 ua soap?

What does it mean nah?
Re: Gay And Depressed. by chimerase2: 11:03pm On Mar 28, 2015
KevinBrown:


What does it mean nah?
somtims after a hectic day u need to type rubbish just to calm ua brain

1 Like

Re: Gay And Depressed. by Nobody: 11:04pm On Mar 28, 2015
KevinBrown:


Lol.
I've been straight-gay-straight

Unlikely. You're just bi.

3 Likes

Re: Gay And Depressed. by KevinBrown: 11:12pm On Mar 28, 2015
Rainess:


Unlikely. You're just bi.

Nope. I don't find guys attractive. I can't believe I once did. (But I was also pretty wild. There was a time i thought one particular cat was cute).

So, yeah, sexuality can be flexible, given the right environmental and psychological conditions.

2 Likes

Re: Gay And Depressed. by ireneony(f): 11:12pm On Mar 28, 2015
Depressedguy:
Being gay is my life regret, i have questioned God and myself how i got to this stage. I just feel like commiting suicide.

Here is my story, my name is Frank, 26, a banker. I am the envy of most women, because am 6.2" tall, fair and very handsome. My nickname is Ramsey Noah, this is to tell you how good looking i am. But i have a very BIG problem, i am attracted to the same sex.

This is a problem i have come to notice at teen, i love girls company more than guys, i play all the girl plays and hate football, am guessing that could be where my formation was transposed. I ended up liking what girls like when am not one. But i have come to change a few things becuase i went to a boarding house and was always ridiculed for that. So i changed so many things there, the way i talk, the way i walk, and my gestures, also i love football now more than anything, but my sexuality has refused to change.

I have all it takes to get a woman, i have a good job, a car, and live alone. But at this age, i have not seen a womans pants not to talk of getting in between. But i have so many female friends, so many that the always take me for a player. Am jovial with them, buy them gifts and treat them well, but am not sexually attracted to any of them and have no feelings whatsoever. Am just a good guy, i know that, because that is the best i can do to cover up my little secret. And they(ladies) love me too and many are dying for my attention. I have been asked out so many times by ladies. One even offered to pay all the bills just for us to get intimate, but i declined, lying that i have a girlfriend i dont want to cheat on.

To make matters worse, i hate being gay, sometimes i go celibate for as long as six(6) months simply because i hate my life and my sexuality. Am always alone, indoors all through the weekend, because going out with guys will result to girl talk and i have nothing to contribute, me of all persons, so hard to believe. I also hate gay companies, so many regrets afterwards as to why i am this way. I envy straight guys to the core, i so much wish i am one. When i see a guy and a girl holding hands and taking a walk, i have this feeling of giult amd hatred for myself that i quickly get depressed.

Here is the problem, i want to marry early, at least before 28 or max 30. I need to connect to a woman and force myself into a relationship. I need to get attracted to a womans body, and get turned on by that. And finally, i need to learn how to tolerate a woman, and live with thier baggage. Am comfortable as a single man, i dont mind living alone till i die, i can cook well and am not a sex freak, i can live for years without it. But i want kids, i love them and cant wait to have a daughter. I have once told myself that once i get married and have kids, i will divoorce my wife and live alone then the kids can stay anywhere. But this idea is pure foolishness.

I am very religious, as a matter if fact, this conditionn is the only sin i battle with, i know we all have one. I hardly commit any other sin. But i know that just this one is very mortal, but we are all strugglling because we are all flesh. It takes the grace of God to overcome sin generally.(Please dont come and critisize, we are all going to the same hell: homosexual, hetrosexual; and no sin is worse than the other.)

This my condition is getting me more depressed by the day and sometimes i wish to end my life. But i like my life more than anything, so am thinking of patronising prostitutes at least to get feel of what it takes like. But am afriad of STIs.

Please help a brother...
Re: Gay And Depressed. by KevinBrown: 11:15pm On Mar 28, 2015
chimerase2:
somtims after a hectic day u need to type rubbish just to calm ua brain

Its that ua that got me confused.
WTF why didn't u just type ur. Or is that d latest way of saying YOUR?

1 Like 1 Share

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