May Somebody betray you like this. May someone do the same to your sisters and daughters. Afterall he would take care of them in every department. So that's a blessing. Right!

ghostmist:
What exactly is God going to punish the young man for?after taking care of both of them in virtually every department?

Don't you have other bf's as well?Ladies don't keep one bf.

eme40rald:
Hello nairalanders

It is with sadness and hurt that I decided to ask guidance on what action I should take with regards to the event that happened in my life.

I met a guy two years ago and fell in love with him wholeheartedly in fact he is my first love. the relationship was fun and romantic. I lost my innocence to him. Although there were times I had suspicions and I would confront him about it but he always found a way to clear my suspicions. One issue I always felt bad about was that he never took me to his family. As at the beginning of the relationship about a month into it his sister got married and I was not invited I felt maybe it was too early and shrugged it off. he never used my pictures as dp claiming he doesn't feel its proper until we are married. apart from all these he was a sweet and loving man. we were like best friends.

please leave the guy and move on, and make sure u leave his vicinity to protect ursef 4rm any harm...

eme40rald:

virginity sir

He took your innocence indeed.
Go and look for it, I know you will find it.

You are minding them....

eagleeye2:

I was really nodding my head at your post untill I got to the bolded.


That he did not make vows is not a justification for defiling that innocent girl
Pray tell, DID THE YOUNG MAN MAKE ANY VOWS? And why will you wish that his wife will take another man's rod in the confines of marriage?
Or do you think that his so called fiancee has remained 'faithful' for that 7 odd years?
.
Let's be realistic. The guy was playing the field. It is called SEARCHING FOR A WIFE for a reason.

The guy has no justification whatsoever for his actions. Believe me, if I meet him one on one I will stil tell him the same thing I have posted here. So I should wish him peace for what he has done right? That serious. Do you know the number of girls he has dubbed?. So after committing all these atrocities, you want to marry a cool, ignorant and innocent girl who will believe every intelligent lie you tell her and live in peace? Hell no. You must reap what you have sown. Every action of ours on earth is a seed planted by the actor and shall surely grow to produce better seeds in greater numbers. There are no two ways about it. If you believe in playing such games on girls for marriage, then you should also believe that there is a great reward at the end of the day.
Hey! Sir why seem to be biased? When I was blaming the girl in my earlier mention, you were busy enjoying the right up and nodding you head, but when I came back so hard against the guy you became uncomfortable with me, why? The guy has sowed a seed, so don't expect him to harvest seeds other than what he sowed. Thanks.

The hardest thing to do is to end the relationship and let sleeping dogs lie. Not to worry his "karma" will always catch up with him.. To forgive is always divine.....

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You are entitled to your opinion child! Some of us believe in karma. So spare me the lecture.

If the op posted that she was not sleeping with the guy. You would claim that its the reason the guy left her for another person that was sleeping with him. As you all claim on Nairaland that all men are nkitas.(Respects to the real men)

You must be a learner!

elipheleh:


keep doing her thing isn't gonna help. Its high time people understood that if God is Karma then both the disvirgined victim and trickster would both suffer it. The soul that sinneth shall die . So both people fornicating should die equally. After sexing olosho who ran aware with my cash I dare not pray for nemesis to strike her cos we both bleeped for hell sake.

I laugh when ignorant girls like you curse me and invoke nemesis. Cos boy she's going down with me too for fornicating with me.

pray God is not nemesis cos He won't look at victims fave

adanny01:


You see yourself. I didnt condemn his actions is what bothers you but not the question she asked. I simply answered her. Condemning his actions is pointless since he is not here to hear it.

My comment didnt say i support his actions so why are you judging me?

Yea right, I bet if it was a lady, you'd remember to condemn her and other naija women included, why did you support that he is a nice guy, if you don't support his actions?abegi.

Can you beat this

merbenko:
What African women ought to understand is, more thna 60% African men are polygamous in nature the more you put that at your brain less you will feel pains of cheating and move on

eagleeye2:

My dear, both have sinned, and it's only God that decides what punishment to mete out to them not for us humans.
Having said that, I will proceed to the OP.
.
As a single guy I started by dating one girl at a time. Being 'faithful' and all. I am not a saint, but I met with a series of disappointment. Then I switched to dating twos at a time, but still was the good guy. Yet some more disappointment.
Can you believe that it was only when I became the 'player' that the game changed in my favor. There was a particular time I had about 4 girls and some who were all eager to be wifed.
But thank God that I am now married and I can boldly tell you all that I have reverted to my former self and have confessed all my past sins to my wife. I am still that Faithful and honest guy that I was.
So why this boring tale; there might be reasons why your ex did what he did. Telling on him may or may not change his present relationship. And don't hope on Karma, cos it might equally visit you.

I wonder if you'd have this same opinion of having to date in 4s to be a good idea if the lady you married, was involved in such.

And as for God and his punishment method, I maintain its nonsense, just imagine how you reason, there might be reason for lying and deceiving someone, yet you claim to be a honest person, just like your God, weldone.

Was there a marriage proposal?

ronald4lif:
What will exposing him change? The lady would still stand by him. Sorry but you've been played. Just accept it and move on.

Lol, she came here looking for pity when she must have turned down the advances of a guy that truly loved her and opted for a player/liar.

OP gerrara here and go settle your issue offline because no be we push you into this dilemma.

I guess u are still in ur early 20s. U mean a nija lady will abandon her fiancee of more than 7yrs cos one side chick mk one sporous allegation! Dey there. Normal lady my yansh. Some 1 dt jst got introduced. Lol.

jemimaa01:
you cant be too sure his fiancee wld stand by him..every normal thinking lady wouldn't anyway...yes,she has been played,and exactly because she doesn't have anything to lose,she shld tell the other lady!

Orkpekyandega:


The guy has no justification whatsoever for his actions. Believe me, if I meet him one on one I will stil tell him the same thing I have posted here. So I should wish him peace for what he has done right? That serious. Do you know the number of girls he has dubbed?. So after committing all these atrocities, you want to marry a cool, ignorant and innocent girl who will believe every intelligent lie you tell her and live in peace? Hell no. You must reap what you have sown. Every action of ours on earth is a seed planted by the actor and shall surely grow to produce better seeds in greater numbers. There are no two ways about it. If you believe in playing such games on girls for marriage, then you should also believe that there is a great reward at the end of the day.
Hey! Sir why seem to be biased? When I was blaming the girl in my earlier mention, you were busy enjoying the right up and nodding you head, but when I came back so hard against the guy you became uncomfortable with me, why? The guy has sowed a seed, so don't expect him to harvest seeds other than what he sowed. Thanks.

I am not in support of what the man did, but I still stand on what I say. Which is, aside the CONFINES OF MARRIAGE the man or woman owes nobody any FIDELITY.
Any good marriage Counsellor will tell you that. I once asked a marriage counsellor if it doesn't amount to great sin, if after training a girl through school she breaks up with you and marries another. Knowing fully well that you put her through school because you want her hand marriage.
Or
If he a man tells a girl to wait for him for a number of years that he will marry her, and after the waiting the man marries another. Is it not a grave sin.
.
I was surprised when he answered me and said, "In both cases, they only owe each other THANK YOU".
.
It doesn't matter how long we debate this, the man in question owes this OP no FIDELITY cos they ain't married.
.
On a final note, women should learn to close their legs or live with the outcome of opening their legs. Men equally need to keep their purse or live with the outcome of parting with their man.
.
Untill that day that you both takes your vows, no one owes another FIDELITY. It's the bitter truth.

starlingslimnet:
First of all, what do you mean by innocenceWhat will you gain by exposing him?

what will you gain from covering up lies and a life of deceit even double betrayal of trust.
He's doing it now before marriage bet it, he won't stop. He is a cheat and such f**k up deserves a proper treatment!

Hmmmn interesting, what i would advise u to do is very simple, just forgive and let him go, i think the guy in question doesn't REALLY define or explain what real LOVE is, cheating has nothing 2 do wit love. Move on with your life and don't lets any one undermined you dignity for the sake of love... Acts like the King's kid.

Ask to be settled

Expose him already.

Did he promise to marry you Talk true oo! Don't try it oooooo! You might be playing with acid attack!

jemimaa01:
you cant be too sure his fiancee wld stand by him..every normal thinking lady wouldn't anyway...yes,she has been played,and exactly because she doesn't have anything to lose,she shld tell the other lady!

.I dnt think its necessary anymore.its not as if he proposed to her n dumped her.not every relationship ends in marriage.do u knw hw long the other lady has fasted n prayed for the introduction? Babes re nt smiling n I dnt think she wil leave her man.though its painful bt let her just move on.some Men re WICKED. It is well

My dear, pls just leave him alone and move on with your life. You dnt know how much he loves the other lady and if he will be brutal if u spoil tins for him.

What abt if u tell the lady and she ignores u tinking u want to stop her from getting marrieD. Even if the lady finds out that he is cheating just as you too find out and decides to forgive same way u hav been forgiving him, u will still be the one hurting. Just safeguard urself from more pain, tears and scar by leaving the relationship.

God will bless u with somone better.

freecocoa:
I wonder if you'd have this same opinion of having to date in 4s to be a good idea if the lady you married, was involved in such.

And as for God and his punishment method, I maintain its nonsense, just imagine how you reason, there might be reason for lying and deceiving someone, yet you claim to be a honest person, just like your God, weldone.

My dear, the past is past. What good will it do for me trying to find out about wifey's past.
I married my woman for whom she is, and not for her past. I confessed my own past to her, knowing I wasn't going back to such life again. And she equally told me some of hers.
.
"I don't care what happens now or in future, but I have taken that vow of FIDELITY on the altar of God. I pray that His grace will be sufficient for me to remain FAITHFUL as I have vowed.
It doesn't matter what my have done or may do, what matters is me being FAITHFUL TO MY VOWS TILL DEATH DO US PART." She has her own role to play.
.
So, I still tell you, Untill Marriage both Party does not owe a drop of FIDELITY to each other.
If she wants to tell, let her tell. But she is an adult and should be responsible for her actions.

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Pls tell the fiancee so that she will know what she's getting into. As for you, move on! Time will heal your heart

flyingdutchman:
Did he promise to marry you Talk true oo! Don't try it oooooo! You might be playing with acid attack!

eagleeye2:

My dear, the past is past. What good will it do for me trying to find out about wifey's past.
I married my woman for whom she is, and not for her past. I confessed my own past to her, knowing I wasn't going back to such life again. And she equally told me some of hers.
.
"I don't care what happens now or in future, but I have taken that vow of FIDELITY on the altar of God. I pray that His grace will be sufficient for me to remain FAITHFUL as I have vowed.
It doesn't matter what my have done or may do, what matters is me being FAITHFUL TO MY VOWS TILL DEATH DO US PART." She has her own role to play.
.
So, I still tell you, Untill Marriage both Party does not owe a drop of FIDELITY to each other.
If she wants to tell, let her tell. But she is an adult and should be responsible for her actions.

Ofcourse I understood you the first time, it's okay to be a liar and a cheat so long as one isn't married, I'm just a little confused on how someone with such mindset can be claiming to be a child of God, talking about his grace and all, oh! Wait, I gerrit, hypocrisy at its finest.

At the risk of sounding sanctimonious, What is LOVE? Why are most ladies and some guys bringing emotions into this?
.
If this girl had not lost her 'innocence' to this guy and she were still a Virgin, won't the advice given here been different?
She consciously decided to give the guy her self for two years, just like the other lady (fiancee) has dated the guy for seven years. I didn't read anywhere that the guy Rap'ed her.
She should be responsible for her actions. Cos if Karma starts visiting every fornicating couple, I wonder how many will still remain. Abegi make we dey reason with head and not heart.

Pls don't is not ur man, move on with ur life nd foeget past ok

waice6571:


what will you gain from covering up lies and a life of deceit even double betrayal of trust.
He's doing it now before marriage bet it, he won't stop. He is a cheat and such f**k up deserves a proper treatment!

And you Mr, is better than him right?

eme40rald:
Hello nairalanders

It is with sadness and hurt that I decided to ask guidance on what action I should take with regards to the event that happened in my life.

I met a guy two years ago and fell in love with him wholeheartedly in fact he is my first love. the relationship was fun and romantic. I lost my innocence to him. Although there were times I had suspicions and I would confront him about it but he always found a way to clear my suspicions. One issue I always felt bad about was that he never took me to his family. As at the beginning of the relationship about a month into it his sister got married and I was not invited I felt maybe it was too early and shrugged it off. he never used my pictures as dp claiming he doesn't feel its proper until we are married. apart from all these he was a sweet and loving man. we were like best friends.

Fast forward to two years later I did something I had never done before. I searched his phone while he was asleep and what I discovered was a blow for me. He was in another relationship!!! I stole the girl's contact and disguised as his colleague just to get information from her with time she was free with me. I discovered they had been dating for seven years and she lived in another state. just last week he said he was travelling for a business event only for me to find out he went for his introduction to her family.

confronted him and he has been begging me to forgive him.

Kind hearted nairalanders please what do I do? should I expose him to the girl or not.

just drink a cup full of cold water and be their chief bridesmaid on their wedding.