pcguru1:

Or they can get an house help. Whatever works for them.

Too early for house help

Shior 27 yrs old man dey marry I neva see am bfor oo

honeygirl17:

Too early for house help

so the husband should cook for the wife full-time, househelp is the best option if she's not interested in cooking for the husband. it's a win-win

Poster pls tell the man to take a little trip down to O' twn, by the time owerri girls rescue the man, no be pesin go tell d babe make she even begin cook 7 times a day. Mtsheewm married woman my big foot.

Omotayor123:
About to..

real life or nairaland style?

malaria:
Poster pls tell the man to take a little trip down to O' twn, by the time owerri girls rescue the man, no be pesin go tell d babe make she even begin cook 7 times a day. Mtsheewm married woman my big foot.

you day work for that area??

ammyluv2002:
Nope! They are grown physically but need to grow more mentally.

This is a prove "I am the man" and as for the lady, here's also a prove "She said he had always cooked while they were dating and don't know why he his fussing now"

It's not okay for him to use that pharse. It shows a little bit of pride. Somehow, the guy gave her the guts. He should have controlled it from the on set but he swallowed it so she felt he's okay with it.

The wifey on the other needs flogging. They just got married so why won't she cook for her hubby . There's no excuse except maybe she pregnant . I mean, she should know her hubby isn't finding the whole thing funny cause he reported her to you. Abeg, small pinkin dey worry two of them.

lol e fut b... or d wife dey form shakara 4 kitchen

Since he can cook and cooks better, plus he has a more flexible job, why is he making his life more difficult by insisting she cooks because he's the man? See as people make their lives difficult because they want to live by the dictates of the society.

He should cook when he can and when he can't let her know he can't.

I won't totally blame the wife. If she been the type that used to do all that before marriage and the changed after marriage, then I'd blame her. Everyone should endeavor to marry those who share their views on marriage. Not marry them and try to bend them into what you feel they should be. Recipe for friction.

For all the guy knows, she may have married him because of his skills in the kitchen.
That's why you don't marry someone and hope they change overnight.

What they need is compromise.
Both of them should meet each other half way.

Since the wife is here as you said, I suggest she stops dragging her feet because he's always doing it. She should sit up and try too. Nobody appreciates being left to do it all. She should stop taking it for granted.

Tell your friend to divorce her before it get worse, girls can pretend until you marry them;

As for me, I don't have problem with divorce, it's just like a normal breakup for me" no time.. girls are everywhere

cococandy:
Since he can cook and cooks better, plus he has a more flexible job, why is he making his life more difficult by insisting she cooks because he's the man? See as people make their lives difficult because they want to live by the dictates of the society.

He should cook when he can and when he can't let her know he can't.

I won't totally blame the wife. If she been the type that used to do all that before marriage and the changed after marriage, then I'd blame her. Everyone should endeavor to marry those who share their views on marriage. Not marry them and try to bend them into what you feel they should be. Recipe for friction.

For all the guy knows, she may have married him because of his skills in the kitchen.
That's why you don't marry someone and hope they change overnight.

What they need is compromise.
Both of them should meet each other half way.

Since the wife is here as you said, I suggest she stops dragging her feet because he's always doing it. She should sit up and try too. Nobody appreciates being left to do it all. She should stop taking it for granted.

They should just get an house help and save themselves the stress. not sure why that wasn't the alternative

cococandy:
Since he can cook and cooks better, plus he has a more flexible job, why is he making his life more difficult by insisting she cooks because he's the man? See as people make their lives difficult because they want to live by the dictates of the society.

He should cook when he can and when he can't let her know he can't.

I won't totally blame the wife. If she been the type that used to do all that before marriage and the changed after marriage, then I'd blame her. Everyone should endeavor to marry those who share their views on marriage. Not marry them and try to bend them into what you feel they should be. Recipe for friction.

For all the guy knows, she may have married him because of his skills in the kitchen.
That's why you don't marry someone and hope they change overnight.

What they need is compromise.
Both of them should meet each other half way.

Since the wife is here as you said, I suggest she stops dragging her feet because he's always doing it. She should sit up and try too. Nobody appreciates being left to do it all. She should stop taking it for granted.

You think we are in America? If you are looking for does things you see in Hollywood movies, you can as well travel there and get married to an American

This is Africa; development nor dey reach that level, women must do the cooking over here

martyns303:
One of my friend just got married four months ago and already there is fuss in his marriage. I have known both of the couple right from when their relationship was a hide and seek thing to when both families became involved, needless to say I know them very well and they are a perfect match. Let me start by introducing the guy, he used to be my roommate back in school, friends usually tease him calling him "100 yards husband material" for his attributes, this guy can keep the room sparkling clean all day and cooks better than some of our moms, not exaggerating.


He wedded his girlfriend just a month after her final exams, she is 24 (my friend is 27). 2 days ago he came to my place complaining that his wife seldom cooks and that he can count the number of times she had cooked. I told him maybe she is intimidated by his cooking, but he says he doesn't mind and just want her to do her wifey duties. I called his wife and asked her what's going on, and she said he had always cooked while they were dating and don't know why he his fussing now.


From what I can deduce, my guy is trying to be authoritative, he kept using the phrase "I am the man", he have the time as his job is flexible, so cooking shouldn't be a problem, at the same time the wife is failing to do her duties. I don't know how to advice them without taking sides. 


The wife is a registered NLer, so am sure she will see this and get the necessary advice.


Lalasticlala please help this young couple.

Ishilove do your thing. 

Hian. Nothing wey we no go see for this marriage matter.

GboyegaD:
There's nothing wrong with him cooking and all I will tell him is that a woman is handled with wisdom and not force. He should start involving her and stop nagging her into cooking. I am sure she will adjust.

Are you married?

Harmonyemerald:
They are both stubborn and trying to find their feet in the marriage. The man should get rid of the "am the man thoughts" and the woman should learn to be submissive. This is a simple thing, cook for ur hubby, if u need help, ask for help. Husband, complain less. People in marriage should be able to close their eyes and mouth and open their ear to hear the words of their spouse and the words of elders like me

Keep on deceiving the gullible minds, thinking u are doing them a big favor.













For the wife to even tell their friend that "he has been doing it b4, why complaining now"? According to OP, it somewhat means that d guy does cook in the house often, even more than the wife, and when d guy kinda asks her to come cook, she will be like, hian, "haven't u been cooking all these while"?




It will be understandable to point out that the gal always cooks, but the husband do help out or cook @times. But certainly not more than the wife.


















As a child,we were thought the work of mother/wives and then that of father/husband. Don't try to switch roles here. So, while d hubby be cooking, wetin d wife go come de do? because,it is certain that d guy does almost all d cooking.










I know u want to be civil, but, my dear, if we want to preserve our culture and be who we want to be and represent, then certain things must be done in an uncivilized way/manner.



We all know how our parents do flog or beat us black and blue those years, "the act was uncivil". But almost all of us are glad today because d steps our parents toed(uncivil) in bringing us up, really got d best of us.




Assume the hubby cheated on her a couple of times while they were courting, would she had told him to go ahead and cheat, after all he has been cheating? The truth is dat she is running away from her duties as a wife and den covering it up with such statements which is very selfish.



I mean, why d fuk did I marry in d 1st place?

If na fuk? I can get it,married or not.
If na fud? Fast foods and mama nkechi dem full ground.
If na children? I go just knack one girl belle, deceive her till she gives birth or go for adoption.

So, if u think that the man is towing the line of the society, "I am d man"is wrong because it is a societal norm, then marriage will be wrong because marriage is also a societal norm and it is overrated. And if u think they should not go by d norms and values of the society they live in then they should not have gotten married in the 1st place.

Jetjacky:
real life or nairaland style?

Both

ammyluv2002:
They should both grow up.

Rather She should grow up.which sensible woman would spew all those nonsense..well it's the guy's fault.(over sabi).

Omotayor123:

Both

lol... agarawu23 why you no tell me la?? aya throw party on top the matter

Ishilove:

Are you married?

I'm not and it has nothing to do with if I'm married or not. It's my opinion and I'm entitled to it.

The wife might be lazy, she just gave up her husband for auction... And it might also be the husband who doesn't appreciate her cooking because he can do better


I pity the spoilt brats that grew up with house helps... You are doomed ... See their mouths, the first option is House help... Later they wee say ekaette snatched their husband.... mtchew...

QMA

refreshrate:


The most basic of expectations he should handle with wisdom or what are you advising?

OP tell your guy that since she doesnt cook theres really no point leaving chop money in the house again, simple.
Buka yapa for town na. The way it is sef she no go sabi cook.

Then advice a caveat to her mother so shes aware so that when it gets to that point he wont be held liable. What nonsense its people like this that allow women misbehave. In fact the guy should tell her they are going to visit her mum, when they get there leave her and go tell her youll send her stuff over later.

Youre not divorcing her...yet, just dropping her off.
Tomorrow have her stuff sent over.

Then from there renegotiation can begin on her coming back.

Since he cant talk to her and she'll listen over such a basic thing as this, how do you now get her to do even the more difficult stuff?

These expectations you wrote on are listed by humans like us, right? If that be the case, each individual has the right to define his(hers).

the man should only cook when he wish to its not compulsory perhaps that's the duty of the woman. i don't know why some women just like causing problems in their home.

GboyegaD:


I'm not and it has nothing to do with if I'm married or not. It's my opinion and I'm entitled to it.

Stop being overly defensive, Mr GboyegaD. Nobody is saying you are not entitled to your opinion. All I asked was a question which you have answered.

You don't know why I asked the question, do you? I could be asking for other reasons

Tallesty1:
Listen bro, for a man to complain to his friends about his newly married wife, it means he's tired of trying to talk sense into her head.

The lady's response will help you understand what I am saying.

'He's been doing it so why is he fussing now'

You got it right

There's a possibility of him not have tried communicating with his wife in the real sense before involving friends. Be it as it may, we dont have the real picture of things as such, we can only respond based on our understanding from what we read on here.

Sincerely, if it mattered much to him his wife should be the one cooking, he should have spelt it out during courtship. Since he pretended all through courtship by been the one cooking for her, why can't he continue?

Ishilove:

Stop being overly defensive, Mr GboyegaD. Nobody is saying you are not entitled to your opinion. All I asked was a question which you have answered.

You don't know why I asked the question, do you? I could be asking for other reasons

I agree you could be asking for other reasons however, my response to you was based on the reaction to my post. If it sounds defensive to you, biko no vex.

Jetjacky the guy is in OYO... But I Don't really put emphasis on a good cook. I can marry a woman that can't cook. I can... I have other specs.... But food meal isn't one of them.. tho having a good cook as a wife is a +....

pcguru1:


They should just get an house help and save themselves the stress. not sure why that wasn't the alternative

Maybe they can't afford a house help.

GboyegaD:


I agree you could be asking for other reasons however, my response to you was based on the reaction to my post. If it sounds defensive to you, biko no vex.

_{Gboyegad and ishilove in holy matrimony}

Do you know why she's asking?

Bros calm down. Maybe she wan propose

cococandy:

Maybe they can't afford a house help.

seriously househelp is 15k a month that's 7500 per couple, it will save their marriage rather than this childish behavior of who will cook.

4stylz:


You think we are in America? If you are looking for does things you see in Hollywood movies, you can as well travel there and get married to an American

This is Africa; development nor dey reach that level, women must do the cooking over here

I will.

pcguru1:


seriously househelp is 15k a month that's 7500 per couple, it will save their marriage rather than this childish behavior of who will cook.

I know it's a plausible solution.

I'm just saying that maybe they can't afford one.
Yea but if they can, it's best they do so.
You're right.

cococandy:


I know it's a plausible solution.

I'm just saying that maybe they can't afford one.
Yea but if they can, it's best they do so.
You're right.

Well i think they should have discussed all these before marriage.

*Na wa o family section dey discourage peeps from marrying, there's always one issue threatening a marriage*