₦airaland Forum

hooli:
End time relationship

gentlesinna:
Hahahahahaha u are what I call a real man.tanx for not bashing me.
Back to d topic
I dnt Rilli knw d kind of advice am goin to giv u bcs I hv never ever ended a relationship smoothly.i hv dated seven girls nw nd dey all ended up wit quarry nd fiting.d last girl I broke up wit we almost exchange blow.
So u see my guy I hv never had a smooth ending relationship

dovetark:
We've dated officially for over 3 years, I have to admit she's a nice girl when her heart is in it, but certain events have occurred which has left a once blissful relationship sour. Prior to the series of events that have brought us to this point, I used to feel like a superhuman with her in my life (for real I could do anything I set my mind to do and succeed), but all that has changed... Life happened!!! We've both been hit by series of events that have adjusted our perspective on how we view life which has undoubtedly affected us. Since the beginning of this year, we've been on a free fall with our emotions. We've not had intense quarrels neither have we had intense passion being together of late (I admit, they both spice up a relationship) and we have grossly neglected each others feelings. We both played our roles in getting to where we are now, I feel the door closing in fast on us and I can't stand this flip-flop of emotions involved.

We've tried taking a break and that didn't work, I have suggested severally that we just remain friends and end the relationship but I really don't know why she doesn't agree to that. We can't just stand each others bullshit anymore but still a part of us wants it to go back to how it used to be I guess that's the reason we've been hanging on.

I am not here to cry over spilled milk, rather, I am here to seek advice on how I would successful end this relationship without it having profound effects on my psychology and emotions while maintaining optimum productivity as an individual. Please your comments are needed and appreciated. Thank you Nairaland.

Please don't just read, I need your suggestions.

dovetark:
Lol, no matter how serious a situation is, when humor is thrown at me, I can't help but laugh... which I am doing right now. but at the end of the day bro, the problem won't be solved. So you can share an experience on how you ended a relationship with a girl before and I can learn from it. I haven't formally initiated a break up before and that is why I ask.

Same goes to you @Pennah

dovetark:
We've dated officially for over 3 years, I have to admit she's a nice girl when her heart is in it, but certain events have occurred which has left a once blissful relationship sour. Prior to the series of events that have brought us to this point, I used to feel like a superhuman with her in my life (for real I could do anything I set my mind to do and succeed), but all that has changed... Life happened!!! We've both been hit by series of events that have adjusted our perspective on how we view life which has undoubtedly affected us. Since the beginning of this year, we've been on a free fall with our emotions. We've not had intense quarrels neither have we had intense passion being together of late (I admit, they both spice up a relationship) and we have grossly neglected each others feelings. We both played our roles in getting to where we are now, I feel the door closing in fast on us and I can't stand this flip-flop of emotions involved.

We've tried taking a break and that didn't work, I have suggested severally that we just remain friends and end the relationship but I really don't know why she doesn't agree to that. We can't just stand each others bullshit anymore but still a part of us wants it to go back to how it used to be I guess that's the reason we've been hanging on.

I am not here to cry over spilled milk, rather, I am here to seek advice on how I would successful end this relationship without it having profound effects on my psychology and emotions while maintaining optimum productivity as an individual. Please your comments are needed and appreciated. Thank you Nairaland.

Please don't just read, I need your suggestions.

san316:
You hv told her you wanted to break up already. But don't do that. Marry her. You hv been dating for too long and I think you hv seen too much of each other without any strong commitment in place.

Once again, marry her.

Adanna28:
I think you've been "over it" for awhile now, tried the best you can.

Best to be firm with her, cut ties and end it, since she trying to force you to be with her, it no longer love but desperation and control.

You will keep going through circles till you get to the point you despise n loathe her. She not your wife, you owe her nothing.

I'm sure you tried being gentle with trying to cut ties but she not listening. Be firm and honest, if she continues pleading/begging just walk out.

You got to be cruel to be kind at times, later on she will understand, it was best for the long run.

damola1:
Guys can't seem to stand on their feet when they want to break up. Girls will go ahead to break up most times...

anytexy:
very simple just gradually start to CARELESS that settles it. Thank me later alright.

defendedvictim:
do u really have to break up?

dovetark:
We've dated officially for over 3 years, I have to admit she's a nice girl when her heart is in it, but certain events have occurred which has left a once blissful relationship sour. Prior to the series of events that have brought us to this point, I used to feel like a superhuman with her in my life (for real I could do anything I set my mind to do and succeed), but all that has changed... Life happened!!! We've both been hit by series of events that have adjusted our perspective on how we view life which has undoubtedly affected us. Since the beginning of this year, we've been on a free fall with our emotions. We've not had intense quarrels neither have we had intense passion being together of late (I admit, they both spice up a relationship) and we have grossly neglected each others feelings. We both played our roles in getting to where we are now, I feel the door closing in fast on us and I can't stand this flip-flop of emotions involved.

We've tried taking a break and that didn't work, I have suggested severally that we just remain friends and end the relationship but I really don't know why she doesn't agree to that. We can't just stand each others bullshit anymore but still a part of us wants it to go back to how it used to be I guess that's the reason we've been hanging on.

I am not here to cry over spilled milk, rather, I am here to seek advice on how I would successful end this relationship without it having profound effects on my psychology and emotions while maintaining optimum productivity as an individual. Please your comments are needed and appreciated. Thank you Nairaland.

Please don't just read, I need your suggestions.

Mstrsheikh:
Well bro truth is when love and emotions are still involved it's very very difficult to break away. Coz that pain after words no be here at all. You must decide 100 percent you are willing to let her go and imagine how you would feel if you see her with another guy. if you can stomach all this fine! And be productive as a human being better! But 3years is a long time my nigga, create a distraction ( you'll d have to figure that out my babe may be reading my comment lol) a distraction that will take your mind off her then start withdrawing little by little till you reach your comfort zones free of emotions. Hope this help. It sounds wicked tho to your lady but you still need to be there for her through all this. Goodluck

creepsyme:
dnt worry bro the relationship will die a natural death but if u want to fast foward it, start seeing anoda girl and dats it. good luck!

ummahmat:
bros kill urself

petiteee:
@ bolded,pls try competitive advantage using the BGC matix or porter' thank me later

IbokUtoroh:
so what is d problem?

dovetark:
Most times, very true, especially when its a first you have to initiate formally.

aircoolice:
Ǖ definitely still have sometin dangling in each others heart jst keep trying ǖ jst can't tell and most importantly ƪ tink ǖ should work on those event dat is bringing abt a distance btw ǖ two. Its no gonna b easy ƪ must say bt jst give it a try

MizMyColi:
Megawax8

There's no way he will let go of the relationship without having an effect of sorts visit him.

He is afraid of the future and that in itself kills faster.

I advise people to live in this moment.
Live in the NOW...

Concerning your love life, what do you need to do right now? Break Up, right?
Then Break up.

Now, you need to have the understanding that it is not so much about what you are doing, as it is about how you are doing it.

Also, what is the state of your mind as you break up, do you have grudges, deep unspoken ones against her, or even yourself?

Before you embark on the breakup journey, you need to fill your mind with positivity, make sure you bear her no ill, and that you bear yourself no ill. Accept what is, and make peace with the things you can't change.

Talk with her in love. Express yourself, say all the things you feel went wrong...then make a declaration that you wish her well.

Whether the breakup will last or not is an issue for another day.
But after all is said and done, you sure do need time apart.

Finally, I leave you with this quote from Thicht. My aim is to get you to have a flip in perspective.

EMEKA1MILLION:
when it takes a nose dive, sticking around will only make it worse.
first thing is to cut off all manner of communications, cut down on ur use of social media where you both communicate and get rid of her pictures in ur gallery, her personal effects should be eliminated around you for now till the next 5 to 6 months and i advice you dont date anyone else for the main time. rad this book if u can download it.. A ROAD LESS TRAVELED. it will help you discover alot of things about yourself.

dovetark:
We've dated officially for over 3 years, I have to admit she's a nice girl when her heart is in it, but certain events have occurred which has left a once blissful relationship sour. Prior to the series of events that have brought us to this point, I used to feel like a superhuman with her in my life (for real I could do anything I set my mind to do and succeed), but all that has changed... Life happened!!! We've both been hit by series of events that have adjusted our perspective on how we view life which has undoubtedly affected us. Since the beginning of this year, we've been on a free fall with our emotions. We've not had intense quarrels neither have we had intense passion being together of late (I admit, they both spice up a relationship) and we have grossly neglected each others feelings. We both played our roles in getting to where we are now, I feel the door closing in fast on us and I can't stand this flip-flop of emotions involved.

We've tried taking a break and that didn't work, I have suggested severally that we just remain friends and end the relationship but I really don't know why she doesn't agree to that. We can't just stand each others bullshit anymore but still a part of us wants it to go back to how it used to be I guess that's the reason we've been hanging on.

I am not here to cry over spilled milk, rather, I am here to seek advice on how I would successful end this relationship without it having profound effects on my psychology and emotions while maintaining optimum productivity as an individual. Please your comments are needed and appreciated. Thank you Nairaland.

Please don't just read, I need your suggestions.

zoomman:
I guess u didn't go to church 2day

dovetark:
Lol, this would take too much energy from me. I am mostly a one woman man.

dovetark:
We've dated officially for over 3 years, I have to admit she's a nice girl when her heart is in it, but certain events have occurred which has left a once blissful relationship sour. Prior to the series of events that have brought us to this point, I used to feel like a superhuman with her in my life (for real I could do anything I set my mind to do and succeed), but all that has changed... Life happened!!! We've both been hit by series of events that have adjusted our perspective on how we view life which has undoubtedly affected us. Since the beginning of this year, we've been on a free fall with our emotions. We've not had intense quarrels neither have we had intense passion being together of late (I admit, they both spice up a relationship) and we have grossly neglected each others feelings. We both played our roles in getting to where we are now, I feel the door closing in fast on us and I can't stand this flip-flop of emotions involved.

We've tried taking a break and that didn't work, I have suggested severally that we just remain friends and end the relationship but I really don't know why she doesn't agree to that. We can't just stand each others bullshit anymore but still a part of us wants it to go back to how it used to be I guess that's the reason we've been hanging on.

I am not here to cry over spilled milk, rather, I am here to seek advice on how I would successful end this relationship without it having profound effects on my psychology and emotions while maintaining optimum productivity as an individual. Please your comments are needed and appreciated. Thank you Nairaland.

Please don't just read, I need your suggestions.

DeeTus:
Well, sorry about that. Seems like you feel very terrible.

Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I think this woman still loves you and may not really hold onto any negativity. Life is so gritty sometimes. Are you concerned about parental approval?

The key to a "solid relationship" is to understand where feelings of lust, desire and attraction originate in the women's brain.

If you think you can't go far with this woman, is better you drop her now, so that she'll find someone else and not blame you later.

MizMyColi:
Mega..wax8

There's no way he will let go of the relationship without having an effect of sorts visit him.

He is afraid of the future and that in itself kills faster.

I advise people to live in this moment.
Live in the NOW...

Concerning your love life, what do you need to do right now? Break Up, right?
Then Break up.

Now, you need to have the understanding that it is not so much about what you are doing, as it is about how you are doing it.

Also, what is the state of your mind as you break up, do you have grudges, deep unspoken ones against her, or even yourself?

Before you embark on the breakup journey, you need to fill your mind with positivity, make sure you bear her no ill, and that you bear yourself no ill. Accept what is, and make peace with the things you can't change.

Talk with her in love. Express yourself, say all the things you feel went wrong...then make a declaration that you wish her well.

Whether the breakup will last or not is an issue for another day.
But after all is said and done, you sure do need time apart.

Finally, I leave you with this quote from Thicht. My aim is to get you to have a flip in perspective.