₦airaland Forum

beleza:
I am not in a good situation at the moment. I am in love with a guy who has a girlfriend.Before you judge me here is my story.I am a lady in my late 20s, pretty, funny, lovable and a good christian but the major problem I have been facing since I knew about dating is the kind of guys I get attracted,they are usually cool but unserious,have commitment issues, are emotionally unavailable and just want to sleep with me.I am very emotional and I tend to show my feelings towards a guy so soon.Secondly I have never had a relationship that lasted more than six months.

In my 4 years in the university, I didnt have any relationship, not that i didnt want but guys were not just coming.My friends always felt I should have a lot of admirers because of my looks but the reverse was the case.After school, the few ones I tried to have,turned out sour.One was my former fellowship pastor so I thought he will be serious as he was old enough for marriage.This was about 4 years ago.I was disappointed when I realised that he was just after sex.He started acting up, withdrawing, saying I was disturbing him emotionally and that he is tired.Later, he said we should do friends with benefit, I just cut him off totally. This was a supposed pastor trying to take advvantage of my weakness.

A year later in 2013 met another dude.It didnt last up to six months before we broke up due to our numerous differences.he also didnt make a commitment, the major thing was that we liked ourselves.It took me a long time to get time over him.fast forward to this year met a very funny and inteeligent guy.we met on an online socialnetworking site.he is in his 30's and he seemed just like my perfect man. There was this connection I had with him and we could talk about anything at anytime.snooped on his social media accounts and I didnt see any signs of a lady or girlfriend so I felt the coast was clear.Only for me to ask him one day and he says he is in a relationship,even showed me her photo.I had already started having feelings for him, it was hard to turn back.We were so attracted to each other and it was to hard to resist him even though I knew he just wanted sex from me.Dude travels out and isnt communicating like before, even though he told me his gf is in nigeria but I wasn't convinced.

Our major fallout was when on my birthday I didnt get message fro him until a day later, I decided to send a nasty message to him saying he was just after my body and all.Dude gets angry, I started apologising almost immediately, this happed in October.he just reads my messages doesnt reply doesnt pick my calls.Since the incident happend, I havent been myself, I have never begged or apologised to any one like this in my life, I have cried almost everyday for the past two months, I cant concentrate at work.He recently came back but didn't tell me but I found out on my own.Went to his house a few days ago unannounced just to apologize, He got more angry in the process saying he warned not to come without telling him.He said he has forgiven me and also apologized for leading on but ended up saying he has issues with people that dont trust him.The worst part is he knows I love him so he is doing this to hurt me more.

I just cant get him out of my mind, I think about him everyday, I am in a dilemma.we never had sex, we just kissed and touched so I dont understand what is going on. I still sent him msgs yesterday but he just read them and didnt reply.I have uninstalled my whatsapp because of him so I cant send him msgs.At this point, I am fed up, I don't why love treats me like this. I need your advice asap .

That moment when you give your body on a platter of mud to all as-sundry,you are most likely to get dumped.

You are your own problem

queenfav:
If you read my post well,I explained what the book entails.Its not to turn you into a cold unfeeling woman,Its written to help women like op develop their dating game and be mature about it.The author even interviewed guys while writing it,and their feedback was unanimous on the point that no man wants a needy woman.That is what op here is doing,by going to the dude's house unnanounced and calling him even when he has zero interest in her.Right now she needs to be able to walk away from this guy,I recommended the book to let her know how to be smart and yet loving in a relationship.The fact that you want a mr right doesn't mean a woman should go about acting clueless,allowing herself to be treated like trash.My mother once told me 'relationships are like chess,you study the moves of your partner'.If op was emotionally strong,she ought to have decoded from the guys moves that he is not into her.That's what the book is meant for,to build her up to be discerning,and not go about relationships doing all the loving by herself.

well on that aspect I concur.
As long as it doesn't turn her into something else cos that will be worse than this. Have met ladies that re supposed to be a dream wife but got it wrong along the life which changed their orientation till date and they don't wanna hear whatever u have to say.

I think she should be calm, have the for sight, loving n strong at hrt when it's called for, independent and real men will come creeping.

Not all men are real u kw.

Some ladies tends to be parasitic and emotionally attached to guys. Just be urself and don't easily get attach to any guy that comes ur way but I knw that Mr Right will come one day only if u fail to act in a cheap way

ishiamu:
Lol... how else do you see mr right if not this way?? you go turn good men down and accept bad ones.. hmmm

Its just the mindset of some ladies, they list up their own qualities of men they wish to be with and most times these guys don't even give a dam about them.

If You only see d outward physique of a guy and u are thrown up already crazily in love even b4 the guy develops any feelings is a BIG DISASTER.

Funny enough this same set of ladies like Op would have turned down great good guys who truly love them but just because of that imaginary kind of a guy already in their brain.

The Op should just do the needful or else immediately she turns her mid 30's then d situation will really go worst.

girl.D solution z c
simple.GET UR URSELF SOMETHING DOIN THAT LL GIVE U HAPINESS N THINK MORE ABT IT.GO LEARN SOMETIN GREAT.UR PRBLM Z DAT U ARE IDLE.I LEARNT SOMETIN FRM A BOOK I READ DAT EVRY CLOTHS IN D SHOP BELONGS TO SOMEBODY.YOU HAVE TO BE LESS EMOTIONAL N BE MORE PRODUCTIVE.U ARE TINKINK TOO MUCH ON GUYS...RELAX N BE MORE PRAYERFUL.UR PARTNER LL COME BUT SURE.

beleza:
I am not in a good situation at the moment. I am in love with a guy who has a girlfriend.Before you judge me here is my story.I am a lady in my late 20s, pretty, funny, lovable and a good christian but the major problem I have been facing since I knew about dating is the kind of guys I get attracted,they are usually cool but unserious,have commitment issues, are emotionally unavailable and just want to sleep with me.I am very emotional and I tend to show my feelings towards a guy so soon.Secondly I have never had a relationship that lasted more than six months.

In my 4 years in the university, I didnt have any relationship, not that i didnt want but guys were not just coming.My friends always felt I should have a lot of admirers because of my looks but the reverse was the case.After school, the few ones I tried to have,turned out sour.One was my former fellowship pastor so I thought he will be serious as he was old enough for marriage.This was about 4 years ago.I was disappointed when I realised that he was just after sex.He started acting up, withdrawing, saying I was disturbing him emotionally and that he is tired.Later, he said we should do friends with benefit, I just cut him off totally. This was a supposed pastor trying to take advvantage of my weakness.

A year later in 2013 met another dude.It didnt last up to six months before we broke up due to our numerous differences.he also didnt make a commitment, the major thing was that we liked ourselves.It took me a long time to get time over him.fast forward to this year met a very funny and inteeligent guy.we met on an online socialnetworking site.he is in his 30's and he seemed just like my perfect man. There was this connection I had with him and we could talk about anything at anytime.snooped on his social media accounts and I didnt see any signs of a lady or girlfriend so I felt the coast was clear.Only for me to ask him one day and he says he is in a relationship,even showed me her photo.I had already started having feelings for him, it was hard to turn back.We were so attracted to each other and it was to hard to resist him even though I knew he just wanted sex from me.Dude travels out and isnt communicating like before, even though he told me his gf is in nigeria but I wasn't convinced.

Our major fallout was when on my birthday I didnt get message fro him until a day later, I decided to send a nasty message to him saying he was just after my body and all.Dude gets angry, I started apologising almost immediately, this happed in October.he just reads my messages doesnt reply doesnt pick my calls.Since the incident happend, I havent been myself, I have never begged or apologised to any one like this in my life, I have cried almost everyday for the past two months, I cant concentrate at work.He recently came back but didn't tell me but I found out on my own.Went to his house a few days ago unannounced just to apologize, He got more angry in the process saying he warned not to come without telling him.He said he has forgiven me and also apologized for leading on but ended up saying he has issues with people that dont trust him.The worst part is he knows I love him so he is doing this to hurt me more.

I just cant get him out of my mind, I think about him everyday, I am in a dilemma.we never had sex, we just kissed and touched so I dont understand what is going on. I still sent him msgs yesterday but he just read them and didnt reply.I have uninstalled my whatsapp because of him so I cant send him msgs.At this point, I am fed up, I don't why love treats me like this. I need your advice asap .

Chaiiii

Francizy, you see ya life?

Baby girl, why not whatsapp me?

Some guys are just something else....

Who knows me and you are destined for the stars.....

Whatsapp me sweerryyyy.....

this is my whatsapp contact 07032277508...contact me privately if u so wish....but sorry for d coincidental issues....Love loves you and it is treating u well just dat u need to understand more of how it works

queenfav:
Ok babe..I understand how u feel because I have encountered some pretty mean stuff in life.First of all,I want you to reinstall your whatsapp messenger.When you do,block him! Secondly,get this book "why men love b.itches" by sherry argov.It would toughen you up, especially if you read it with willingness to stop being too emotional about new guys you meet..Its not a book that would make u bitter or an actual bit.ch,the title just connotes that men love strong women who though can be loving,yet try to maintain their independence.Also a woman who knows when to cut her loses to move on when she is being treated with disdain.Men smell desperation and insecurity from miles away.Tell yourself you don't have to be in a relationship to be complete as a person.Its hard because daily u find your friends and even celebs posting loved up pics and all.That alone can make any single lady stay with a man for all the wrong reasons just to avoid feeling left out.My experience with men is that they want what they can't have.Just try it..the guys you don't want in your life pursue you relentlessly,amidst insults and serious attitude to ward them off you.While the ones you call,text more and show excess affection are bound to trample on your emotions by treating you like trash.Please find a distraction.Get engrossed in your work or academics.Read good books,learn a skill or craft.Basically,do things to make you happy.The key is learning to enjoy your own company.Otherwise you would have serious issues even when you meet the man of your dreams.Learn to pace yourself when it comes to relationships..baby steps darling.Don't just fall yakata,even if you are so obsessed with a guy(like you obviously are)Hide it!A little pride won't hurt you here.See yourself as the best,someone any man would not forget in a hurry.Don't let this guy make a mess of your emotions,you are above all that crap.Make a firm decision never to call him again and stand by it!In life you have to master the art of ignoring people no matter how much you crave for them;do it to the point that the person would start doubting his very existence.Don't live your life in a way that you are too much of a good girl.You have to be strong at times,to drive the message home,that you would not stand to be mistreated and have your emotions thrown back on your face.Lastly,just relax..nothing is wrong with you.You'll certainly meet a great guy that would know how much of a amazing lady you are,and love every inch of you for it!

Marry me please...........*kneeling down*... A serious note; OP you are a nice young lady, that's evident, but you need to note it's not about when you marry it's about how good your marriage life is, Babe you are who you and s shouldn't apologise to anyone know that anyguy who cheats on you doesn't deserve you. Babe stop tracking some dudes. BTW 'cool' guys aren't always the right guys cos most of dem are just playing the game

MY DEAR UR NOT ALONE IN SITUATION, SO MANY WOMEN R HAVING DIS SAME CHALLENGES, BUT MY ONLY ADVISE 2 U IS DAT U ASK URSELF WAT KIND OF MAN WOULD U LIKE 2 SPEND UR LIFE WITH. ME 4 EXAMPLE, ALL AM LOOKING 4 IS A WOMAN OF PEACE. A WOMAN WHO WILL SACRIFICE SO MUCH 4 PEACE 2 REIGN. IF I FIND DAT KIND OF PERSON, I DONT CARE IF SHE IS NIGERIAN OR NOT, OR IF SHE IS IGBO OR HAUSA, BEAUTIFUL OR UGLY, TALL OR SHORT ETC, AS LONG AS SHE IS A WOMAN OF PEACE, I WILL D REST OF MY LIFE WITH HER. AGAIN WAT R U LOOKING 4 IN A MAN

ABSOL10:
this is my whatsapp contact 07032277508...contact me privately if u so wish....but sorry for d coincidental issues....Love loves you and it is treating u well just dat u need to understand more of how it works

Prove yourself that you are not in for the tasting!

Mrlekan07034617:
Its just the mindset of some ladies, they list up their own qualities of men they wish to be with and most times these guys don't even give a dam about them.

If You only see d outward physique of a guy and u are thrown up already crazily in love even b4 the guy develops any feelings is a BIG DISASTER.

Funny enough this same set of ladies like Op would have turned down great good guys who truly love them but just because of that imaginary kind of a guy already in their brain.

The Op should just do the needful or else immediately she turns her mid 30's then d situation will really go worst.

That's why am offering myself to beleza now... if she refuse I wish her best of luck in future... after all we find love in crazy places... and nairaland is crazy LoL

buchilino:
MY DEAR UR NOT ALONE IN SITUATION, SO MANY WOMEN R HAVING DIS SAME CHALLENGES, BUT MY ONLY ADVISE 2 U IS DAT U ASK URSELF WAT KIND OF MAN WOULD U LIKE 2 SPEND UR LIFE WITH. ME 4 EXAMPLE, ALL AM LOOKING 4 IS A WOMAN OF PEACE. A WOMAN WHO WILL SACRIFICE SO MUCH 4 PEACE 2 REIGN. IF I FIND DAT KIND OF PERSON, I DONT CARE IF SHE IS NIGERIAN OR NOT, OR IF SHE IS IGBO OR HAUSA, BEAUTIFUL OR UGLY, TALL OR SHORT ETC, AS LONG AS SHE IS A WOMAN OF PEACE, I WILL D REST OF MY LIFE WITH HER. AGAIN WAT R U LOOKING 4 IN A MAN

Seriousllllyyyyy?

This ya pick up STYLE.....

ishiamu:
That's why am offering myself to beleza now... if she refuse I wish her best of luck in future... after all we find love in crazy places... and nairaland is crazy LoL

Is that your advice to her? Offering yourself to beleza?

Guys are just MEANNNN

Beleza, don't mind these guys. They want to taste you.....

@Op,

Nothing is wrong with you absolutely nothing but like someone told you, I guess you are too dependent on men both financially,materially and emotionally. You have to find yourself first,get to know who you are and be happy with yourself then can you truely be ready for relationship. Most of us have had one wrong people or the other in their lives.

check yourself darling

Toks2008:
That moment when you give your body on a platter of mud to all as-sundry,you are most likely to get dumped.

You are your own problem

Hmmmmmmmm

I see

kaboninc:
Seriousllllyyyyy?

This ya pick up STYLE.....

HONESTLY I DON'T UNDERSTAND UR ENGLISH

[quote author=IBBG post=41064671]all I can say is that ur suffering from low self esteem that is now translating into desperation seeking for relevance and approval.
u have to first of all work on ur self esteem by believing that no one is better, smarter, more intelligent or even more prettier than you. They are merely more previledged and opportuned than you. And given the same circumstances with them u'll do as good as they in their endeavours. Also have it at the back of your mind that u don't need anyone's approval or endorsement to feel good or proud of yourself cos u're unique and special in ur own unique way.
When u start seeing and treating ur self as a VIP by not accepting and settling for less, by not letting people treat u any how or take u for granted, they'll have no option than to treat u as a VIP.
here is one secret u shuld always move with, people will mostly look at u the way u look at urself, people will majorly deal with or negotiate with you based on your terms. And "Nobody can make u feel inferior without your consent"--(Elleanor Roosevelt)

who knows if you are telling us the truth or not.you may be the one at falt cheek yourself & ask yourself question. girls i dey fear una.

Alezy:
well on that aspect I concur.
As long as it doesn't turn her into something else cos that will be worse than this. Have met ladies that re supposed to be a dream wife but got it wrong along the life which changed their orientation till date and they don't wanna hear whatever u have to say.

I think she should be calm, have the for sight, loving n strong at hrt when it's called for, independent and real men will come creeping.

Not all men are real u kw.

Alexxzzyyy


You just dey advertise ya self for all the babes wey dey Nairaland......

I just dey look you with Lai's eyes og

Richy4:
If you are serious bro, then we will give you forms to fill.
and we will collectively interview you in family section of this forum....

We have to look after a damsel in distress to avoid repetitions.......

Bring the form... I will ease her dark times trust a nigga.. ..... sha beleza am here to make you happy once more.. turn me down and still keep on the search am serious.. also seeking a nice lady as my heart has also been broken

buchilino:
HONESTLY I DON'T UNDERSTAND UR ENGLISH

You don't understand my ENGILISHI and you wan toast babe......

BOY, you are on a down-low

kaboninc:
Is that your advice to her? Offering yourself to beleza?

Guys are just MEANNNN

Beleza, don't mind these guys. They want to taste you.....

Are you an EOP?? Is it you that will make her happy.. am offering to do that and your poke nosing

ishiamu:
Bring the form... I will ease her dark times trust a nigga.. ..... sha beleza am here to make you happy once more.. turn me down and still keep on the search am serious.. also seeking a nice lady as my heart has also been broken

Hehehehe

na who break ya heart?

E don scatter ni?

You still dey alive fa?

Well I guess u made a big mistake, u said u met him online and started doing d chat which ended up in your likeness for him. That's one of the mistake girls/guys nowadays face; u don't just start up a chat with an unknown person irrespective of his funny character and just love him/her... Haba mallam... well its all done already... Wat I will advice is to seat urself down think straight, wat if d guy ended up having a relationship with you and broke ur heart someday, dat would av been devastating. So the earlier its heard now, so my dear just open up ur mind and tink straight, u have better things ahead of you and also u are a young girl according to what u just told us. And ur weak point is ur emotion aspect, u av to correct that one so as not to land u up in the wrong person. So plan for youslf now and find better things to do and forget about that guy. He has already told you about him having an affair with some1 so let him be and forge on ooo... Life is too short to have HBP, so live your life to d fullest and enjoy yourself...

beleza:
I am not in a good situation at the moment. I am in love with a guy who has a girlfriend.Before you judge me here is my story.I am a lady in my late 20s, pretty, funny, lovable and a good christian but the major problem I have been facing since I knew about dating is the kind of guys I get attracted,they are usually cool but unserious,have commitment issues, are emotionally unavailable and just want to sleep with me.I am very emotional and I tend to show my feelings towards a guy so soon.Secondly I have never had a relationship that lasted more than six months.

In my 4 years in the university, I didnt have any relationship, not that i didnt want but guys were not just coming.My friends always felt I should have a lot of admirers because of my looks but the reverse was the case.After school, the few ones I tried to have,turned out sour.One was my former fellowship pastor so I thought he will be serious as he was old enough for marriage.This was about 4 years ago.I was disappointed when I realised that he was just after sex.He started acting up, withdrawing, saying I was disturbing him emotionally and that he is tired.Later, he said we should do friends with benefit, I just cut him off totally. This was a supposed pastor trying to take advvantage of my weakness.

A year later in 2013 met another dude.It didnt last up to six months before we broke up due to our numerous differences.he also didnt make a commitment, the major thing was that we liked ourselves.It took me a long time to get time over him.fast forward to this year met a very funny and inteeligent guy.we met on an online socialnetworking site.he is in his 30's and he seemed just like my perfect man. There was this connection I had with him and we could talk about anything at anytime.snooped on his social media accounts and I didnt see any signs of a lady or girlfriend so I felt the coast was clear.Only for me to ask him one day and he says he is in a relationship,even showed me her photo.I had already started having feelings for him, it was hard to turn back.We were so attracted to each other and it was to hard to resist him even though I knew he just wanted sex from me.Dude travels out and isnt communicating like before, even though he told me his gf is in nigeria but I wasn't convinced.

Our major fallout was when on my birthday I didnt get message fro him until a day later, I decided to send a nasty message to him saying he was just after my body and all.Dude gets angry, I started apologising almost immediately, this happed in October.he just reads my messages doesnt reply doesnt pick my calls.Since the incident happend, I havent been myself, I have never begged or apologised to any one like this in my life, I have cried almost everyday for the past two months, I cant concentrate at work.He recently came back but didn't tell me but I found out on my own.Went to his house a few days ago unannounced just to apologize, He got more angry in the process saying he warned not to come without telling him.He said he has forgiven me and also apologized for leading on but ended up saying he has issues with people that dont trust him.The worst part is he knows I love him so he is doing this to hurt me more.

I just cant get him out of my mind, I think about him everyday, I am in a dilemma.we never had sex, we just kissed and touched so I dont understand what is going on. I still sent him msgs yesterday but he just read them and didnt reply.I have uninstalled my whatsapp because of him so I cant send him msgs.At this point, I am fed up, I don't why love treats me like this. I need your advice asap .

i'm the perfect one for you. I love you.

Where is your pix

kaboninc:
Hehehehe

na who break ya heart?

E don scatter ni?

You still dey alive fa?

Na 1 gal like that but am over her. Am happy the lord showed me beleza now...better talk to her for me oo.. am just one a million

ishiamu:
Are you an EOP?? Is it you that will make her happy.. am offering to do that and your poke nosing

Me, I'll not just make her happy, I'll make sure whenever she sees you, she'll see my face.

Continue pork nosing!

kaboninc:
You don't understand my ENGILISHI and you wan toast babe......

BOY, you are on a down-low

I DON'T EVEN NO Y AM TALKING 2 U, WHO TOLD U DAT AM TOASTING ANYONE. A SISTER IS EMOTIONALLY DOWN N UR STILL BUSY TALKING ABOUT TOASTING A GAL?

ishiamu:
Na 1 gal like that but am over her. Am happy the lord showed me beleza now...better talk to her for me oo.. am just one a million

Don't go and put ya heart together.....

Come my forte dey find beleza.........

kaboninc:
Me, I'll not just make her happy, I'll make sure whenever she sees you, she'll see my face.

Continue pork nosing!

Ok