₦airaland Forum

gynny:
sometimes he does'nt call for days. We only see on public holidays, thats the only time he has for visits.

If he doesn't call for days,that's not good enough and he only has time during holidays to see you.
I think you're right here,he's not doing enough.I'll advise you start to think of him less and occupy yourself with other things.If you show him less attention and he doesn't change,then you may have to let go.

Nubian113:
Hey hun, hope you're well. Just thinking about you

Aww. Nicest words anyone has told me this year. I hope it's lovely thoughts?

Not calling for days and you do the calling everyday. Long distance relationship. Op pay him a surprise visit and take yourself out of misery

gynny:
sometimes he does'nt call for days. We only see on public holidays, thats the only time he has for visits.

gynny:
sometimes he does'nt call for days. We only see on public holidays, thats the only time he has for visits.

WHAT!!!!only on public holidays? how many public holidays do we have in a yearwhat happens to you going to see him during weekends?imagine begging a guy to call you and after that he doesn't call for days .you say he loves you,a beg what instrument did you use to measure it?hope it is not by word of mouth, cos you should know by now that Nigerian men don't know how to use those words,they love everybody as far as you wear skirt . Don't mind all these people telling you to be patient,be patient my ASS,use your tongue to count your teeth. I wouldn't advise you leave him immediately,as that is impossible,as a matter of fact I know how you feel cos I was once there,I advice that you look around for a guy that loves you more,even if he is not your prince charming, but he scored 60/100 in your criteria of a man,even if u dont love him enough,later u might grow to love him,then try to separate small small from that your boyfriend wey dey use you play ball,just try to reduce your love for him by thinking of him less and spending more time with the new guy,it might take time but surely your love for the old would wane,I don't know why girls like going for people that would treat them like trash,all in the name of prince charming,please my dear,your worth is more than gold,u are the best of your kind and you deserve better,don't ever beg anyone to love you,cos you would forever beg,imagining marrying this guy later,whatever you see you take,sorrow for ever,a beg bust am jare,he is emotionally abusing you.

MrsPhyno:
See, that right there is your problem. In an ideal relationship, it would be a good thing but since those don't exist...... It's a really really bad thing. In romantic relationships, women (usually) stand to loose more. So he already has an upper hand. So it's recommended that if someone has to "love more" in a relationship, it should be the guy.

Subtly change ur mentality. He is not your world. U do not love him more than life itself. Don't become mean or anything but.... Be more playful, let it psychologically seep thru that this is not do or die for u. It's a very hard balance to strike sha

thanks alot.

prettysassygirl:
WHAT!!!!only on public holidays? how many public holidays do we have in a yearwhat happens to you going to see him during weekends?imagine begging a guy to call you and after that he doesn't call for days .you say he loves you,a beg what instrument did you use to measure it?hope it is not by word of mouth, cos you should know by now that Nigerian men don't know how to use those words,they love everybody as far as you wear skirt . Don't mind all these people telling you to be patient,be patient my ASS,use your tongue to count your teeth. I wouldn't advise you leave him immediately,as that is impossible,as a matter of fact I know how you feel cos I was once there,I advice that you look around for a guy that loves you more,even if he is not your prince charming, but he scored 60/100 in your criteria of a man,even if u dont love him enough,later u might grow to love him,then try to separate small small from that your boyfriend wey dey use you play ball,just try to reduce your love for him by thinking of him less and spending more time with the new guy,it might take time but surely your love for the old would wane,I don't know why girls like going for people that would treat them like trash,all in the name of prince charming,please my dear,your worth is more than gold,u are the best of your kind and you deserve better,don't ever beg anyone to love you,cos you would forever beg,imagining marrying this guy later,whatever you see you take,sorrow for ever,a beg bust am jare,he is emotionally abusing you.

thanks alot, i'll love myself more

MissMalia:
pls check ur mail.

Alright.

gynny:
Hello nairalanders, i'm writing this because i'm so hurt, i feel unappreciated. I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now, and through out this period i've loved and cared for him like any loving person should maybe a little too much. And all i've asked is that he loves me just the same. I know he loves me, but i think i love him more than he loves me and he knows that. I know his job is time consuming and stressful, but i still understand and support him. Sometimes i'll practically have to beg him to call me! Thats how bad it gets. Please guys advice me because all my advice and mirror talk is doing nothing, i think i'm sick in the head because i know i deserve more than i'm getting. I keep telling myself to let go, i tried and the pain was just too much.

Hello gynny, I wish to give you a very hard truth but if you can take it it will change a lot of things for you

1. "i feel unappreciated."
The truth is if a man really love you, he will almost idolize you, so if he’s indifferent to your feelings then check it again.
2. “And all i've asked is that he loves me just the same.” –
This sounds like a “push and start love” were you have to do so much for him to return the love. The truth is in a real love he will be “creazy” for you till people will tell him, guy take it easy

3. “I know he loves me, but i think i love him more than he loves me and he knows that”
You will really know if he truly loves you. You don’t think it. And by the way must hit and run guys once they have you and you begin to fall too much they will take you for granted. Note men are hunters, if you hunt them (love them too much at the beginning) they will see you as cheap and take you for granted

4. . “I know his job is time consuming and stressful, but i still understand and support him. Sometimes i'll practically have to beg him to call me! Thats how bad it gets”
My dear you deserve something better for Christ sake, when you beg for even his call?. Listen up I think you are forcing this relationship. Cos in a true love situation both parties call. And in most cases I have handled such men or lady you beg to call you have alternative to you that’s why they forget you.
You can tell me if you are the ONLY one in his “world” he will forget you to the extent of not even calling you. Such people if you finally marry them not even a flash will you see. And the pain will be time seven.
5. “ i think i'm sick in the head because i know i deserve more than i'm getting. I keep telling myself to let go, i tried and the pain was just too much.”

Yes my dear you deserve more, and God has lots of better things for you. The problem I see here is you love him more and your doing everything to make it work.

The truth is you don’t force a camel to drink water even if you take him to the streem.

Final word:

Free yourself in your mind, be open to relate with other guys who are seeking to be close to you, if he is the real one he will come chasing you but if not of he goes finally. True love flows don’t force it.

Nubian113:
Try this. Treat him as he treats you. Thank me later

Treat him as he treats you

oh yea

have you been there before lol?

it works

uhmmm... A lot of you need to understand d concept of love or real love. If a man will idolize u as most are saying which I agree with what can you say then about the so called in love that led to divorce,battery &domestic violence to once most amazing union?True love takes time just like any good thing because you are building character,values and attitudes that will keep it in time of troubles. Mind you,spot the difference between taking advantage of d situation and being ignorant due to lack of information or upbringing. Many people are ignoranat about relationship forget about many bfs/gfs you may have had or have. If values,character and good attitude are not developed it will manifest once you have him or her. What's his background like,was he the type that devoted himself to serious things like work and ignore social life including calling,texting etc? If he did,dont expect magic in that area it will take time for things to mature.
Secondly,dont use few experiences to generalize and assume evryone is like that.
Thirdly,most people you see in relationships are fake they know the right things to do at the beginning of the relationship but lose interest once marriage sets in that's the reason for the familiy crisis we are seeing around us. Dont be fooled pretense is what they are doing because these good acts are not part of them just something they adopt to look responsible.
My question still remain is he a responsible man,how much of him do you know? There are many ways ladies can prove the authencity of a man's love for her I guess its time to use one of those methods.
Finally,all relationships have their bad moments how you both resolve it will determine the success or failure of the union.
When there is no good communication,it will look as if there is a problem even when there is non.

robosky02:
Hello gynny, I wish to give you a very hard truth but if you can take it it will change a lot of things for you

1. "i feel unappreciated."
The truth is if a man really love you, he will almost idolize you, so if he’s indifferent to your feelings then check it again.
2. “And all i've asked is that he loves me just the same.” –
This sounds like a “push and start love” were you have to do so much for him to return the love. The truth is in a real love he will be “creazy” for you till people will tell him, guy take it easy

3. “I know he loves me, but i think i love him more than he loves me and he knows that”
You will really know if he truly loves you. You don’t think it. And by the way must hit and run guys once they have you and you begin to fall too much they will take you for granted. Note men are hunters, if you hunt them (love them too much at the beginning) they will see you as cheap and take you for granted

4. . “I know his job is time consuming and stressful, but i still understand and support him. Sometimes i'll practically have to beg him to call me! Thats how bad it gets”
My dear you deserve something better for Christ sake, when you beg for even his call?. Listen up I think you are forcing this relationship. Cos in a true love situation both parties call. And in most cases I have handled such men or lady you beg to call you have alternative to you that’s why they forget you.
You can tell me if you are the ONLY one in his “world” he will forget you to the extent of not even calling you. Such people if you finally marry them not even a flash will you see. And the pain will be time seven.
5. “ i think i'm sick in the head because i know i deserve more than i'm getting. I keep telling myself to let go, i tried and the pain was just too much.”

Yes my dear you deserve more, and God has lots of better things for you. The problem I see here is you love him more and your doing everything to make it work.

The truth is you don’t force a camel to drink water even if you take him to the streem.

Final word:

Free yourself in your mind, be open to relate with other guys who are seeking to be close to you, if he is the real one he will come chasing you but if not of he goes finally. True love flows don’t force it.

Thanks alot for this words, i'll do things different from here on. I already feel much better from all the kind words i've heard. Thanks.

goldenboyofpsy:
so sorry please send a new mail to: muleroakinsola@gmail.com. I cant assess my yahoo mail which was used for the forum.

Done

MissMalia:
Done

Got it and have replied you.

gynny:
Hello nairalanders, i'm writing this because i'm so hurt, i feel unappreciated. I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now, and through out this period i've loved and cared for him like any loving person should maybe a little too much. And all i've asked is that he loves me just the same. I know he loves me, but i think i love him more than he loves me and he knows that. I know his job is time consuming and stressful, but i still understand and support him. Sometimes i'll practically have to beg him to call me! Thats how bad it gets. Please guys advice me because all my advice and mirror talk is doing nothing, i think i'm sick in the head because i know i deserve more than i'm getting. I keep telling myself to let go, i tried and the pain was just too much.

you're dating yourself. once you feel this way (women are very very intuitive), it's time to run for the hills. it wouldn't be easy because you're into him. take it a step at a time. stop calling. delete his numbers. do things to keep your mind busy, join the choir and go for choir practice daily. if none of those work, get a human distraction

goldenboyofpsy:
Got it and have replied you.

I ve responded. Pls check ur mail

MissMalia:
I ve responded. Pls check ur mail

. Went through it.(Network palava reason for multiple reply)

MissMalia:
I ve responded. Pls check ur mail

.Have seen it and did the needful

goldenboyofpsy:
.Have seen it and did the needful

am nt sure ur reply was delivered. Didn't see anytn in my inbox.

MissMalia:
am nt sure ur reply was delivered. Didn't see anytn in my inbox.

So sorry reason why I gave you my gmail instead cos yahoo has too many issues. As for the ID,which particular one cos I saw many with that identity. I would have sent you a new mail with my gmail account but the yahoo is not coming up so no way to get ur email. Once its rectified,will resend it.

It seems like you are choking him too much. Give him time and space. He will come looking for you later on

MissMalia:
am nt sure ur reply was delivered. Didn't see anytn in my inbox.

I have sent it through my other mail.

No one is too busy in life...its just ur position in his life.. Even my elder bros in offshore work calls his family everyday. visiting each other is different and harder Dan just 2mins calls.

stariobran:
you're dating yourself. once you feel this way (women are very very intuitive), it's time to run for the hills. it wouldn't be easy because you're into him. take it a step at a time. stop calling. delete his numbers. do things to keep your mind busy, join the choir and go for choir practice daily. if none of those work, get a human distraction

thanks.

MissMalia:
am nt sure ur reply was delivered. Didn't see anytn in my inbox.

. Have resend it. @Your mail,haba No kwams@all.

gynny:
Hello nairalanders, i'm writing this because i'm so hurt, i feel unappreciated. I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now, and through out this period i've loved and cared for him like any loving person should maybe a little too much. And all i've asked is that he loves me just the same. I know he loves me, but i think i love him more than he loves me and he knows that. I know his job is time consuming and stressful, but i still understand and support him. Sometimes i'll practically have to beg him to call me! Thats how bad it gets. Please guys advice me because all my advice and mirror talk is doing nothing, i think i'm sick in the head because i know i deserve more than i'm getting. I keep telling myself to let go, i tried and the pain was just too much.

You are getting too wrapped up in your own emotions. You need to develop ourself as an independent human being. Makes you more attractive.

Decker:
OP I think I understand where you are coming from. In most relationships, it's normally hard on one partner if he/she feels he/she isn't being shown enough love as is being rendered to the other partner.

From your post your rightly stated that you know your man loves you. This means that he actually expresses love in other areas, but he is only lacking in the area of making out time for you.

You have to first understand one thing. The fact that a guy doesn't call you all the time doesn't mean he doesn't really love you. Some guys aren't the calling type. And given the fact that your man is a very busy person, it would be difficult for him to always call or be with you all the time. You are a woman. Women generally like to be given much attention by their partners, and when they feel they aren't given as much as they think they should, it becomes a problem, as is in your case.

I believe your man still loves you and cares about you. You should stop worrying.

I'll tell you what. How about you make out time for each other. I mean set out a particular time of the week, when he isn't busy, just for the two of you. Maybe on friday nights or sunday afternoons. Just the two of you. This would help in making you feel closer to him and in keeping the connection you have with each other alive, even if you don't get to spend that much time together, and hopefully it would erase your doubts.

You must be a counselor. Very good advice i must say.