₦airaland Forum

You both communicate differently..

In the end, can you cope? Otherwise, move on.

Inspinia:
I no longer know what to do. We have been together for 8 months and I want to marry her quickly. I have my reasons. She has been my childhood crush for years and now that she gave me a chance I don't want it to slip away. Many guys flock around her so before one asks her to marry him I had to do it first. And she is very responsible and definitely not a fling.

But I have problems with her aggression. A little thing she picks an issue with it and starts dishing out hurtful words to me. I always try to apologise and make her happy even when she is wrong not me just so she will be calm. It was working before now it no longer works. Whenever I try to make her happy she gets more angry and tell me I'm trying to patronise her. If I take her out on shopping she will be so angry that I'm trying to buy her with money that I don't love her.

My fellow brothers, what do I do? There was a day I had to invite my sister to come talk to her as woman to woman talk this lady pulled the belt on her jeans and began to assault my sister I'm grateful to God that I was there even my left eye is still bruised wth the way she hit me too that day. And the worst of it all is everytime she gets more angry and more violent.

I threatened to call off the wedding thinking it will make her rethink but it didn't instead she got angry that day and pushed me against the wall. God saved me beause if there was knife or bottle around that day with the way she was angry sh could have used any on me.

Please I need assistance from matured minds. I love her so much that I don't want to call off the wedding I want her to be wife but her aggression is too much. She get angry easily. She outrightly told me no sex till marriage and I can't do anything about because she seems stronger than I am (Yes she works out alot. Perhaps because she is a model or so i don't know)

I need help.

Which kain love be dis na? the babe pushed you to the wall and you were spared cos knife or bottle no dey close and you still dey love? yoruba don talk am na..."enife ku ti pade enitofe pa"...

guy, i am not ready to observe a minute silence in your honour abeg.every second is important to me.

use your brain biko...

This story is so funny mehn, LMAO at she is stronger than me and works out a lot!! OP heading into into a marriage where his wife will tell him to kneel down and hands up

Inspinia:
I no longer know what to do. We have been together for 8 months and I want to marry her quickly. I have my reasons. She has been my childhood crush for years and now that she gave me a chance I don't want it to slip away. Many guys flock around her so before one asks her to marry him I had to do it first. And she is very responsible and definitely not a fling.

But I have problems with her aggression. A little thing she picks an issue with it and starts dishing out hurtful words to me. I always try to apologise and make her happy even when she is wrong not me just so she will be calm. It was working before now it no longer works. Whenever I try to make her happy she gets more angry and tell me I'm trying to patronise her. If I take her out on shopping she will be so angry that I'm trying to buy her with money that I don't love her.

My fellow brothers, what do I do? There was a day I had to invite my sister to come talk to her as woman to woman talk this lady pulled the belt on her jeans and began to assault my sister I'm grateful to God that I was there even my left eye is still bruised wth the way she hit me too that day. And the worst of it all is everytime she gets more angry and more violent.

I threatened to call off the wedding thinking it will make her rethink but it didn't instead she got angry that day and pushed me against the wall. God saved me beause if there was knife or bottle around that day with the way she was angry sh could have used any on me.

Please I need assistance from matured minds. I love her so much that I don't want to call off the wedding I want her to be wife but her aggression is too much. She get angry easily. She outrightly told me no sex till marriage and I can't do anything about because she seems stronger than I am (Yes she works out alot. Perhaps because she is a model or so i don't know)

I need help.

googled up something on Anger management institutions in Nigeria? if there is any of such in the country , you can get em to help you to help her

Thank God you know that you need help...your problem is half solved...consult your pastor for deliverance

OP, u wanted her to urself and u couldn't afford loosing her to someone else that was why u were so quick to propose Marriage to her. Who told u she cannot be lost to someone else even after marriage?

U are kinda insecure and the aspect of her aggression makes me wonder how u can cope with a lady who might end up getting physical with u whenever you go wrong.

Now that it is early, try to ask questions from her family members if that's the way she is or some events that has happened in the past is what makes her more of a man than a woman.

If it isn't yielding anything fruithful, TAKE A WALK.

You are encouraging her, by alwyz pleading with her. u both are not married, and all this drama dey occur. Ladies are not meant to b pampered all d time, they wld abuse it. Tell her u can't cope with such behaviour, if she changes, then she truly luves u, if not.... marriage is not meant to be tolerated.

Strahovski1:
Before I read your story you registered Jan 23 and did not say anytin till March 8? U wanted to post it then? But waited to see if she will change but nw it's worse? Right?

I understand. Let me read your story.

Modified- I've read your story.

Now my comment:

All I can say is, she is dangerous and she needs psychological help. From your description, she loves you. If she doesn't she would say No to your proposal and even if she said yes due to the heat of the moment she will later tell you I'm not marrying you. You know why? You can't do sh!t about it. She loves you man.

Sit her down and talk to her. Don't try to play boss with her. She is violent and ready to kill and be killed. Like you said she is stronger than you. She works out. She needs a gentle counsel.

Play this game called trust fall. Tell her to stand behind you on cement floor or don't tell her so she doesn't think it's a game just ensure she is standing at your back. And just fall towards the ground at her direction and see if she catches you. If she doesn't, take her to a doctor, if she does, man she loves you she is only upset about something and you kinda remind her of it so let her tell you what it is and share it with any therapist.

Also stop spending money on her. She clearly doesn't need your money. Only give when she asks. Take her shopping once in a while. And give her space. Don't ask for sex. Let her tell you what she wants and ask her this question 'Why do you hate me?' It works alot. She will break and tell you why If she does hate you because the woman you describe got balls. She can say anything.

Bye.

love doc.
Bro U Hav gat good analyses.
why not work more on becoming counselor.

Inspinia:
I no longer know what to do. We have been together for 8 months and I want to marry her quickly. I have my reasons. She has been my childhood crush for years and now that she gave me a chance I don't want it to slip away. Many guys flock around her so before one asks her to marry him I had to do it first. And she is very responsible and definitely not a fling.

But I have problems with her aggression. A little thing she picks an issue with it and starts dishing out hurtful words to me. I always try to apologise and make her happy even when she is wrong not me just so she will be calm. It was working before now it no longer works. Whenever I try to make her happy she gets more angry and tell me I'm trying to patronise her. If I take her out on shopping she will be so angry that I'm trying to buy her with money that I don't love her.

My fellow brothers, what do I do? There was a day I had to invite my sister to come talk to her as woman to woman talk this lady pulled the belt on her jeans and began to assault my sister I'm grateful to God that I was there even my left eye is still bruised wth the way she hit me too that day. And the worst of it all is everytime she gets more angry and more violent.

I threatened to call off the wedding thinking it will make her rethink but it didn't instead she got angry that day and pushed me against the wall. God saved me beause if there was knife or bottle around that day with the way she was angry sh could have used any on me.

Please I need assistance from matured minds. I love her so much that I don't want to call off the wedding I want her to be wife but her aggression is too much. She get angry easily. She outrightly told me no sex till marriage and I can't do anything about because she seems stronger than I am (Yes she works out alot. Perhaps because she is a model or so i don't know)

I need help.

u will soon be washing her pant to make her happy very soon.


is people like u that makes me wounder if apart of dat useless dicck btw ur leg DAT men can use to show d world DAT there men

Abeg leave story! No guy can be this dumb, I repeat no guy can be this dumb! Now that I got that off my chest, it is clear that the problem is with you and not the girl. Based on what you wrote, you have an infatuation that has led to a pseudo feeling of love but my guy this is not love, it's torture! Now listen, your situation is like a engineer with all the knowledge in the world but cannot communicate it to the world, the result is ofutufete Listen young man, if a lady puts her hands on you then she no longer has the right to be called a lady and must be treated as any other human being. Next time she hits you, slap her back! Be a f*cking man and let her know softness is not stupidity, you said you've threatened to call of the wedding but she wasn't moved, this is a sign that the two of you shouldn't even be thinking of marriage at this time. The greatest advice I can give you is to call off the wedding and go back to the drawing board, if you truly love her you want to build a healthy relationship and not rush things, you want to build a strong foundation that can stand for years to come. It seems like you are ready for marriage but she's not, you want to help her get to where you are, this can only be accomplished if you acknowledge her weakness and invest time to build them into strengths. Last but not least, some people cannot be changed no matter how hard you try, have a contingency plan as I can assure you she has hers, keep in mind ratio of girls to guys in Nigeria is over 1.7 to 1 which means unless every guy decides to date multiple girls there will always be fish in the sea!

Some people like death pass life. Uhmm!

Inspinia:
I no longer know what to do. We have been together for 8 months and I want to marry her quickly. I have my reasons. She has been my childhood crush for years and now that she gave me a chance I don't want it to slip away. Many guys flock around her so before one asks her to marry him I had to do it first. And she is very responsible and definitely not a fling.

But I have problems with her aggression. A little thing she picks an issue with it and starts dishing out hurtful words to me. I always try to apologise and make her happy even when she is wrong not me just so she will be calm. It was working before now it no longer works. Whenever I try to make her happy she gets more angry and tell me I'm trying to patronise her. If I take her out on shopping she will be so angry that I'm trying to buy her with money that I don't love her.

My fellow brothers, what do I do? There was a day I had to invite my sister to come talk to her as woman to woman talk this lady pulled the belt on her jeans and began to assault my sister I'm grateful to God that I was there even my left eye is still bruised wth the way she hit me too that day. And the worst of it all is everytime she gets more angry and more violent.

I threatened to call off the wedding thinking it will make her rethink but it didn't instead she got angry that day and pushed me against the wall. God saved me beause if there was knife or bottle around that day with the way she was angry sh could have used any on me.

Please I need assistance from matured minds. I love her so much that I don't want to call off the wedding I want her to be wife but her aggression is too much. She get angry easily. She outrightly told me no sex till marriage and I can't do anything about because she seems stronger than I am (Yes she works out alot. Perhaps because she is a model or so i don't know)

I need help.

Sorry, if i call you MUMU boy. Yes, nah ur stage.

Extremely pretty ladies are very hostlie, cause that is the only way they can ward off unwanted toasters. Some girls have 100 toasters on their whatsapp.

You obviously lack the necessary confidence to date that girl. Let me not talk about body size. I have met short boys who exude so much confidence and large personality that they can control any woman. You need to work on yourself and you will see the girl chasing you.

You are wasting your time working on the girl. Work on urself. Then you will acquire the greatest tool in taming a lady. Power of your words..

Take a break..

I dislike any lady that is so prone to anger
I can't and will never go along with such person

Inspinia:
I no longer know what to do. We have been together for 8 months and I want to marry her quickly. I have my reasons. She has been my childhood crush for years and now that she gave me a chance I don't want it to slip away. Many guys flock around her so before one asks her to marry him I had to do it first. And she is very responsible and definitely not a fling.

But I have problems with her aggression. A little thing she picks an issue with it and starts dishing out hurtful words to me. I always try to apologise and make her happy even when she is wrong not me just so she will be calm. It was working before now it no longer works. Whenever I try to make her happy she gets more angry and tell me I'm trying to patronise her. If I take her out on shopping she will be so angry that I'm trying to buy her with money that I don't love her.

My fellow brothers, what do I do? There was a day I had to invite my sister to come talk to her as woman to woman talk this lady pulled the belt on her jeans and began to assault my sister I'm grateful to God that I was there even my left eye is still bruised wth the way she hit me too that day. And the worst of it all is everytime she gets more angry and more violent.

I threatened to call off the wedding thinking it will make her rethink but it didn't instead she got angry that day and pushed me against the wall. God saved me beause if there was knife or bottle around that day with the way she was angry sh could have used any on me.

Please I need assistance from matured minds. I love her so much that I don't want to call off the wedding I want her to be wife but her aggression is too much. She get angry easily. She outrightly told me no sex till marriage and I can't do anything about because she seems stronger than I am (Yes she works out alot. Perhaps because she is a model or so i don't know)

I need help.

Run for your life bro, run fast

Snowangel4:
lolzzz....love is not enough sir.
d earlier u sit down and think the better for you..

U wan snatch the guy away from the gal?

Pls stop the marriage plan. she cant change and the marriage wont last. God will direct you.

abbey621:
Abeg leave story! No guy can be this dumb, I repeat no guy can be this dumb! Now that I got that off my chest, it is clear that the problem is with you and not the girl. Based on what you wrote, you have an infatuation that has led to a pseudo feeling of love but my guy this is not love, it's torture! Now listen, your situation is like a engineer with all the knowledge in the world but cannot communicate it to the world, the result is ofutufete Listen young man, if a lady puts her hands on you then she no longer has the right to be called a lady and must be treated as any other human being. Next time she hits you, slap her back! Be a f*cking man and let her know softness is not stupidity, you said you've threatened to call of the wedding but she wasn't moved, this is a sign that the two of you shouldn't even be thinking of marriage at this time. The greatest advice I can give you is to call off the wedding and go back to the drawing board, if you truly love her you want to build a healthy relationship and not rush things, you want to build a strong foundation that can stand for years to come. It seems like you are ready for marriage but she's not, you want to help her get to where you are, this can only be accomplished if you acknowledge her weakness and invest time to build them into strengths. Last but not least, some people cannot be changed no matter how hard you try, have a contingency plan as I can assure you she has hers, keep in mind ratio of girls to guys in Nigeria is over 1.7 to 1 which means unless every guy decides to date multiple girls there will always be fish in the sea!

Real nigga...You got it 10/10.

Inspinia:
I no longer know what to do. We have been together for 8 months and I want to marry her quickly. I have my reasons. She has been my childhood crush for years and now that she gave me a chance I don't want it to slip away. Many guys flock around her so before one asks her to marry him I had to do it first. And she is very responsible and definitely not a fling.

But I have problems with her aggression. A little thing she picks an issue with it and starts dishing out hurtful words to me. I always try to apologise and make her happy even when she is wrong not me just so she will be calm. It was working before now it no longer works. Whenever I try to make her happy she gets more angry and tell me I'm trying to patronise her. If I take her out on shopping she will be so angry that I'm trying to buy her with money that I don't love her.

My fellow brothers, what do I do? There was a day I had to invite my sister to come talk to her as woman to woman talk this lady pulled the belt on her jeans and began to assault my sister I'm grateful to God that I was there even my left eye is still bruised wth the way she hit me too that day. And the worst of it all is everytime she gets more angry and more violent.

I threatened to call off the wedding thinking it will make her rethink but it didn't instead she got angry that day and pushed me against the wall. God saved me beause if there was knife or bottle around that day with the way she was angry sh could have used any on me.

Please I need assistance from matured minds. I love her so much that I don't want to call off the wedding I want her to be wife but her aggression is too much. She get angry easily. She outrightly told me no sex till marriage and I can't do anything about because she seems stronger than I am (Yes she works out alot. Perhaps because she is a model or so i don't know)

I need help.

You are heading to slave relationship if care is not taken. Love cannot be bought nor forced: give this lady some space to discern whether she truly loves you or not.

Your over-ambitious desire needs to be re-checked.

Stupedinluv:
Marry her, she may change later.

#karashika spotted# Bro pls runnnnnnn for thy dear life..Dat demon is gonna end u d moment u say i do..

Inspinia:
I no longer know what to do. We have been together for 8 months and I want to marry her quickly. I have my reasons. She has been my childhood crush for years and now that she gave me a chance I don't want it to slip away. Many guys flock around her so before one asks her to marry him I had to do it first. And she is very responsible and definitely not a fling.

But I have problems with her aggression. A little thing she picks an issue with it and starts dishing out hurtful words to me. I always try to apologise and make her happy even when she is wrong not me just so she will be calm. It was working before now it no longer works. Whenever I try to make her happy she gets more angry and tell me I'm trying to patronise her. If I take her out on shopping she will be so angry that I'm trying to buy her with money that I don't love her.

My fellow brothers, what do I do? There was a day I had to invite my sister to come talk to her as woman to woman talk this lady pulled the belt on her jeans and began to assault my sister I'm grateful to God that I was there even my left eye is still bruised wth the way she hit me too that day. And the worst of it all is everytime she gets more angry and more violent.

I threatened to call off the wedding thinking it will make her rethink but it didn't instead she got angry that day and pushed me against the wall. God saved me beause if there was knife or bottle around that day with the way she was angry sh could have used any on me.

Please I need assistance from matured minds. I love her so much that I don't want to call off the wedding I want her to be wife but her aggression is too much. She get angry easily. She outrightly told me no sex till marriage and I can't do anything about because she seems stronger than I am (Yes she works out alot. Perhaps because she is a model or so i don't know)

I need help.

You won marry karashika abi...? OK kontinue
Na only u waka come...

Bros be like say you dey plan your own funeral and not wedding. You have not married her and you are already getting this?

Inspinia:
I no longer know what to do. We have been together for 8 months and I want to marry her quickly. I have my reasons. She has been my childhood crush for years and now that she gave me a chance I don't want it to slip away. Many guys flock around her so before one asks her to marry him I had to do it first. And she is very responsible and definitely not a fling.

But I have problems with her aggression. A little thing she picks an issue with it and starts dishing out hurtful words to me. I always try to apologise and make her happy even when she is wrong not me just so she will be calm. It was working before now it no longer works. Whenever I try to make her happy she gets more angry and tell me I'm trying to patronise her. If I take her out on shopping she will be so angry that I'm trying to buy her with money that I don't love her.

My fellow brothers, what do I do? There was a day I had to invite my sister to come talk to her as woman to woman talk this lady pulled the belt on her jeans and began to assault my sister I'm grateful to God that I was there even my left eye is still bruised wth the way she hit me too that day. And the worst of it all is everytime she gets more angry and more violent.

I threatened to call off the wedding thinking it will make her rethink but it didn't instead she got angry that day and pushed me against the wall. God saved me beause if there was knife or bottle around that day with the way she was angry sh could have used any on me.

Please I need assistance from matured minds. I love her so much that I don't want to call off the wedding I want her to be wife but her aggression is too much. She get angry easily. She outrightly told me no sex till marriage and I can't do anything about because she seems stronger than I am (Yes she works out alot. Perhaps because she is a model or so i don't know)

I need help.

she has anger issues and u cant help her except she sees a therapist,at that point when shez acting up,she doesnt reason logically because shes blinded by the rage,and honestly if u love her,d best is to put d marriage on hold for now because she will transfer agression even to her kids.Let her go for anger management classes,stick with her tru all dis ,buh untill the anger is bin fully managed,put ur marriage and relationship with her on hold,let her know dis,be very careful nt to stay with her alone,i know wat im saying.maybe i culd let u it on dis,i used to have anger issues tht at d point wen im displaying the anger,i once smashed my fone on d wall,my parents used to fink i was possessed,but i sought help and im 100 % calmer than even most people

That girl doesn't love you, run for your life broda ; you didn't learn anything from that lawyer that killer her husband?

I think of getting a Viper as a pet I know it's dangerous but I like it. I intend keeping it in my room to crawl around should I go ahead?

AMOS 3:3

CAN TWO WORK TOGETHER IF THEY DON'T AGREE??

AGREEMENT IS VITAL FOR A LONGLASTING MARRIAGE.

D 2 of you must fit into one another! If not for now, i will advice you to exercise a little patience.

The only advice I will gve the op is to call off the relationship now that they are not yet married. She is psychologically not ok. Imagine beating your sister with a belt just because of advice. She will kill you once you remain in the relationship. It is just a matter of time

I dont believe the load of cow dung you just spewed. U think say we be mumu? C' mon tell us the film name. Mtcheeeeew

OP, you really are a wimp?

Your girlfriend (not even wife) assaulted your sister and you just stood by helplessly

What you're seeing now is just 10% of the sh1t that's waiting for you after marriage.

Stop being so desperate...take it easy so you can make a better choice

No one should put up with violence in a relationship!!!

Don't marry her, you won't enjoy such marriage.

Almost all the posts here are saying similar thing. if you really love woman, take her for anger management/ therapy first. I have a guy now who is wishing that only if he knew about nairaland before getting married. You case will be more pathetic because you have warned by your peers. After marriage you will soon realised that Love is not only the ingredient required to sustain a marriage.

THE ANGER OF A WOMAN

What is a contentious woman? One that likes to contend – who likes to argue, criticize, disagree, fight, oppose, or question. She is full of questions, reminders, and suggestions – all to help, of course. Rather than dote on you, she will nag; rather than sweetly agree, she will question and suggest alternatives , she is critical, moody, opinionated, or questioning– until you wish you were single in the woods.

The odious woman cannot smell herself. She thinks she is helpful by prodding, asking questions, stressing over details, giving reminders, expecting perfection, or disliking a choice. If you were to ask her, she would say she is a good woman and wife

What is an angry woman? She cannot rule her spirit and likes to fight. She is easily angered, dissatisfied, irritated, negative, or resentful. She can find something negative about any event, and she frets and talks most about that. She is not satisfied. She is hardly ever content, seldom your sweet lover, but always irritated and stressed out.

Stupedinluv:
Marry her, she may change later.

just because u are 'stupidly in love' doesn't mean other pple should.