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My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat - Romance (6) - Nairaland

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Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by olajuwon1111(m): 5:42pm On Mar 23, 2016
Vinshu:
Go to the gym. Some guys don't like fat ladies.

Control your diet.

Avoid junk foods.

Do a lot of exercise. And if you give birth to a child still remain slim. It's not hard.


doing all these cant really make her go slim can only reduce the obesity, and if she has the tendency of fat in her, then all these are no go area coz it will only make it more worse as time passes by.
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by Kyllahmc(m): 5:46pm On Mar 23, 2016
Op slim is good, but the way you claimed he complains shows he is obviously more interested in your body,I dont think he truly loves you... He should love you for your inner.. Cos what is real is something that the eyes cant see and the hands cant touch.. Your are beautiful op dont let him tell you that you are not!

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by Toks2008(m): 5:46pm On Mar 23, 2016
MRBrownJ:


bro, you missed the point here. her weight is not the issue, her weight CHANGE is... as we can clearly understand that the lady put on weight, as she is saying herself that "she is trying her best to work on that".

so the important question IS: if a man is attracted to a woman because of her mind/character AND physical appearance, should he continue and pretend to "still" be physically attracted to her if/when her appearance changes (to a level that is clearly unacceptable to him)?

Nice one..I love your argument and on this note i will say NO.

I am still single today because i am very picky and i can and will never compromise what i want in a lady especially the physical attributes cos im very very visual.

Nevertheless i can not say because i love a lady, i should now cope with her going out of shape but then if a man really loves the soul inside that body, he will not be too mad about weight gain to the extent of comparing her to her friend.
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by Nobody: 5:48pm On Mar 23, 2016
Iwo arabinrin yin sha cheesy
Mo admire yourba write up e o
Mo wa leyin re bi ike
YorubaWoman:
Emi o gboyinbo o.

Ki la n ba ka undecided
Okunrin to ba nife eyan kosi gbogbo pe o ti sanra ju, lo reduce wetii e, mi sure pe ma ma mu o re ode
Ko tie ni wo nkankan rara, ki lan pe ni ife latokan wa undecided

Awa 84kg gan, won si nbe wa ka ma reduce. Awa ga na
Abi eyin na ma nfa bi igbin ni
E ma nro bi eni to ti dade ni joun cheesy
Abi ijewuru leyin na to je pe gbogbo mindinmindin le nda losi ona ofun
E gbera kan mo, ko sife larin yin

Your relationship is more of physical. No love!

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by coolviv: 5:50pm On Mar 23, 2016
Hmm that's why I discourage long courtship. How will this lady find the strength to leave that asshole emotional abuser after 5 whole long years?

Msheewww...anyway my dear, that your last question was not revealed to you by flesh and blood but your 'chi'.

Take courage, take a walk, take good care of yourself (your looks and packaging) and I bet one day he ll regret but it ll be too late. Believe it or not, he is just one out of a gazillion men in the world. Don't marry him, he ll wreck you and render you useless.

And don't you ever spend such a long time in courtship again knowing you are a woman. No time for time wasters.

All the best.
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by TruthHurts1(m): 5:53pm On Mar 23, 2016
This is what a 70kg woman's body looks like:

If your fiance really loves you, he'll want you to lose weight for the right reasons (health and well-being).

He has just given you a reality check. I suggest you wake up.

2 Likes

Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by fabulouskeem(m): 5:53pm On Mar 23, 2016
well i had a similar issue with my woman, but i must be candid with you, if you love your man and yourself pls try and slim down i know it's not easy bt it's best for your health. When i met my woman she was medium size which i loved bt as time goes on she begins to add which i must confess to you i do nt appreciate bt i have to sit her n discuss abt her weight, i register her to a gym, advice her to stop late night food bt at the end no sigh of loose weight, this later prompt me to compare her to other women which is the key of motivation..your man loves you and he wants the best that will work for both of you though i won't accept his action for given you conditions..

my 50kobo advice be dat

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by iamdeejayscar(f): 5:56pm On Mar 23, 2016
Girl don't listen to all dis advice Dat he doesn't love u and all.... my dear he is just saying his mind... maybe you've added much more Dan he expected.... you're even lucky he is telling that sef, sorry about comparing u to ya skinny friend but to be frank it's only a man that loves u that will tell u want he feels is going wrong.... he is telling u Dat so you'll be d Queen he wants... and u no fat comes with lots of things...like stretch marks, body odour, black thighs Dat crush against each other when you're working, tiredness, and he not feeling d intercourse no more cos you're way too heavy now... face the truth you're getting big, do something about it and don't give excuses that he doesn't love u... what if he doesn't tell u and den he starts cheating... trust me you did be more hurt... loose weight first and den if he still complains dump him cos den he is being too demanding and doesn't love u
Just a blunt girl's thought grin

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by Gwan2(m): 5:58pm On Mar 23, 2016
sas91:


I wonder o, Co's he wasn't like that before. I really appreciate, thanks.
I stopped reading after seeing d above reply u gav somone... U see is unfortunate we ar quick to accuse odas of dsame attitude we brazenly display.....frm d above response I can confidently tell u..U gat no love for ur guy. ..mayb ur clock is tickin wich makes u desperate or d guy has smtin u fancy....how on earth wil som1 address ur guy as a ram n all u can do is appreciate his comment...I must say d love essence of ur relationship is lost.

4 Likes

Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by okuneddie(m): 5:59pm On Mar 23, 2016
hope4charles:

You all talking as if you guys don't understand the physic of a man, a man is moved by what he sees a woman is moved by what she hears, me personally I don't like fat women because it comes with a lot of its difficulties and side effects, I will first see ur features and lust after it and when I see ur characters and those inward good things I will then fall in love, so sister all those saying that the guy is after ur body are basically deceiving you, u better hit the gym and look trendy and trim, so that guy won't be shy working around with u, we all want the best.




bros no Mata the time she dey spend for gym the fat will surely come out when she born.....I don't know maybe she might be able to work out everyday and that's if she has the stuffs at home but don't forget she will be married by then and won't have time for gym......and u bro I pity ur condition, if u are not yet married do u know there are lots of women that are slimmer than agbani darego before marriage but once they give birth, the will be like person wey x200 of their former stature......I have seen alot so when it happens will u divorce ur wife?
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by Nobody: 6:01pm On Mar 23, 2016
The rate at which ladies are iewing this thread ehn no b small. Una follow for the XXL Size?? grin
But on a serious note. I dont think size should be a problem. But like they say "one man's meat is another man's poison''

Furthermore been fat also comes with certain health challenges. So its advisable for d Orobo's to find a way of burning some fat once in a while.

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by hifaif1: 6:04pm On Mar 23, 2016
KashyBaby:
Ur man is only attracted with u physically...why he can't accept u juz the way u are? But anyway, juz do ur best to lose weight.. get motivated to all those negative things he had said, once u get ur ideal body weight plz punch him on his face.. cheesy jk...

"To"

Sorry, Kashy. Couldn't help it!!!

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by repogirl(f): 6:05pm On Mar 23, 2016
Something tells me he might be looking for an excuse to break up with you.

Sas91

If after 5 years of dating, he's ready to break up the relationship because of your physique and not because you have some character flaws, that's not a good sign.

Well, it's up to you, I don't know your age and you have come really far with him but know that marriage is a lifetime commitment and if you are ready to work on your weight for the rest of your life then go ahead and do this for him.

As for me I believe, you are more than your body type and if he doesn't recognise this, he should fvck the hell off.
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by robocandie(f): 6:06pm On Mar 23, 2016
Bleep boy!...he dosent love u...its as simple as that...its nt a bad tin to tell u to lose weight..but then he dosnt av any right to compare u with anyone..talkless of ur friend..
...Wtf!..u r just 70kg nd hes talking like dat!...he simply dosnt respect and value you...this is what u'l do....trim down...nd get that body structure he likes...and free the nigga...den make him beg for u all over again and dont go back!!..smiley
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by LuveU2(f): 6:07pm On Mar 23, 2016
pls dont marry him
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by swaggprofessor(m): 6:08pm On Mar 23, 2016
Chommieblaq:


U are very right, ppl with big bone weigh more, doesn't matter if u slim or fat.


I weigh more than ma frnds n they are fatter than me.
where have u been all my life. babe u fine gon
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by MRBrownJ: 6:10pm On Mar 23, 2016
Toks2008:


Nice one..I love your argument and on this note i will say NO.

I am still single today because i am very picky and i can and will never compromise what i want in a lady especially the physical attributes cos im very very visual.

Nevertheless i can not say because i love a lady, i should now cope with her going out of shape but then if a man really loves the soul inside that body, he will not be too mad about weight gain to the extent of comparing her to her friend.

yes, but the "soul inside her" matters just as much as her physical appearance. this sounds like a bait and switch, where you meet a fine gal, and her look makes you wanna know her better. then you fall in lve with her EVERYTHING, and then they remove the "great look" and expect you to still act/feel the same way. hell NO! thats a different person and therefore all plans made must be re-evaluated. physical attraction matters... a lot.

its all about being certain about what you DONT want in a spouse. if he aint physically attracted to her now, then its just a matter of time before this union crashes.
- if he doesnt like what he sees, he wont be able to walk proudly next to her
- if he doesnt like how she looks, then he will be pi$$ed off as soon as he rolls over and she opens her mouth in the morning
- if he doesnt get turned on by her physique, then its just a matter of time before the bedroom acrobatics will be affected
- if he doesnt desire her, then chances are, he will seek for someone who is desirable
- if she cant even control her outlook now then imagine what she will look like after a few kids

as for the comparison, it is the needed boost/shock to have her take this stuff seriously.

2 Likes

Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by Chommieblaq(f): 6:12pm On Mar 23, 2016
Apitch:

I never wrote anything about the guy cos it makes no sense when he can't read it, I only advised the lady based on her own side of the story
But on the issue of the guy, he didn't go about it the right way based on her write up but have we considered how else he must have tried it in the past, have we considered if the guy was getting frustrated by the weight gain, a lot of assumptions that I wish not to stress my small brain over cos it's a sided story n I don't judge
Finally, please who is in a perfect relationship? Who hasn't said or done detrimental things in their relationship or vice versa? So should I advice she leaves her 5yrs relationship to a real man who is imperfect for an ideal perfect man? Her choice

Now I love wah u wrote!
No such thing as a perfect or ideal man/woman, can't advise her to throw away five years of relationship, buh na she wear the shoe.
Relationship is all about compromise, u have dated him for five year, to some extent you should be able to know him very well n know your stand, y not talk to him about the way he goes about the weight issue, tell him u ready to work on it buh u need his support not him putting u down n comparing u to another, then see the way he takes it before u conclude n make any decision.

Sister it's ya call, in as much as I won't advise u to throw away five years, u should also know that a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by ISpiksDaTroof: 6:14pm On Mar 23, 2016
sas91:
Pls I need your honest opinion on this matter , i'm a lady with an average height and weighing 70kg, my fiance always complain about my weight and I know I'm trying my best working on it. But this time around he compared me with my friend and said my friend has a better body structure than I, that i'm not more beautiful as I used to be and that if I want to be his wife then I must Slim down. And so many things I can't even mention. He finally asked if I am ready to do all he wants.
my fear is did he truly love me? what if I Slim down now and even get fatter after giving birth to a baby, wld he then hate me so much? i'm confused and scared of going on with the relationship, Pls I need advice from experienced people.

Are you fat? When you look in the mirror can you look at your feet without a big bulge in the middle obscuring your view? Finally, are you happy with yourself,because if you are then that's all that matters.

Being overweight or obese is unhealthy, and in most Western Societies considered unattractive. Obesity creates a lot of health problems; arthritis, joint pains, Diabetes etc
Barring abnormal health issues, if you eat more than you expend in energy you will become fat. To keep it short: if you don't have health concerns like Hyper Thyroidism and you are fat, you are simply eating too much.

You will need to overhaul your whole eating style and also incorporate exercise into your life to get to a healthy body weight.

However, if these are changes that you don't think you can, or are not willing to, make then it's best to quit the relationship and look for someone that likes his women your body size because you will only get bigger as you get older and childbirth gets in the picture. If he's complaining now, guess what he'll be doing then?

You are what you eat.
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by feranmmie(m): 6:14pm On Mar 23, 2016
Point of correction. All nairalanders are experienced. Start jogging from lagos ibadan expressway,start 4rm Apata then stop at RCCG. Woz wobi
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by Nobody: 6:15pm On Mar 23, 2016
If your fiance is complaining that you are fat, it could be that you are between 5'3'' and 5'5''. At that height range, 70kg 'looks' fat to some people. Anyway, your man is one picky fella.
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by Chommieblaq(f): 6:17pm On Mar 23, 2016
swaggprofessor:
where have u been all my life. babe u fine gon


Hahaha hahaha hahaha Tanx, in d kitchen washing pot
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by xtervaganza(m): 6:17pm On Mar 23, 2016
KashyBaby:
Ur man is only attracted with u physically...why he can't accept u juz the way u are? But anyway, juz do ur best to lose weight.. get motivated to all those negative things he had said, once u get ur ideal body weight plz punch him on his face.. cheesy jk...
like you will accept a broke guy for who he is



Abeg no lose weight ooo, another babe wey slim go de ride your guy dick soon

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by Dolypson04(m): 6:18pm On Mar 23, 2016
sas91:
Pls I need your honest opinion on this matter , i'm a lady with an average height and weighing 70kg, my fiance always complain about my weight and I know I'm trying my best working on it. But this time around he compared me with my friend and said my friend has a better body structure than I, that i'm not more beautiful as I used to be and that if I want to be his wife then I must Slim down. And so many things I can't even mention. He finally asked if I am ready to do all he wants.
my fear is did he truly love me? what if I Slim down now and even get fatter after giving birth to a baby, wld he then hate me so much? i'm confused and scared of going on with the relationship, Pls I need advice from experienced people.
I am not that experienced but I think I am old enough to give advice.
Don't mind all ds people castigating ur man. Only few men do not consider physical appearance, many are just hypocrites. What I think you should ask urself are these;
1. Does he encourage or assist in my loosing weight program?
2. Do I have values in his eyes even when I am not exactly what he wants as a wife?
3. Is shedding weight beneficial to me personally?
If you can answer this then you should know what to do. After all a word is enough for the wise.
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by corisande: 6:18pm On Mar 23, 2016
TruthHurts1:
This is what a 70kg woman's body looks like:

If your fiance really loves you, he'll want you to lose weight for the right reasons (health and well-being).

He has just given you a reality check. I suggest you wake up.

i weight 5kg more than the op
but this woman in the picture is fatter than me
I'm taller than the op though and big boned.
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by Nobody: 6:20pm On Mar 23, 2016
sas91:
Pls I need your honest opinion on this matter , i'm a lady with an average height and weighing 70kg, my fiance always complain about my weight and I know I'm trying my best working on it. But this time around he compared me with my friend and said my friend has a better body structure than I, that i'm not more beautiful as I used to be and that if I want to be his wife then I must Slim down. And so many things I can't even mention. He finally asked if I am ready to do all he wants.
my fear is did he truly love me? what if I Slim down now and even get fatter after giving birth to a baby, wld he then hate me so much? i'm confused and scared of going on with the relationship, Pls I need advice from experienced people.
Nope, nothing wrong with being honest about how he feels about your weight since he's your fiance however there's a way to go about critisizing without being disparaging, he sounds rude and insensitive and this is someone you plan to spend a good portion of your life with, I say speak to him about how harsh he's coming across and how it makes you feel and if he there's no change fashi the guyyy
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by Nobody: 6:21pm On Mar 23, 2016
Reduce weight and look attractive, because you want to,not because of anyone. That your Fiancé doesn't love You.., from what I can see
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by ISpiksDaTroof: 6:22pm On Mar 23, 2016
repogirl:
Something tells me he might be looking for an excuse to break up with you.

Sas91

If after 5 years of dating, he's ready to break up the relationship because of your physique and not because you have some character flaws, that's not a good sign.


Being overweight can actually be seen as a character flaw. It can be portrayed (maybe wrongfully) that one is weak, and can't control their actions so much so that they can't control what they put in their mouth. It also shows a lackadaisical attitude in the person carrying the weight; basically someone that can't be trusted with responsibility.

Five years is a long time, yes, but in that time what has she done to make sure she's a healthy weight or appealing in the eyes of her man or is this the first time he has ever expressed his displeasure at her increasing body mass?

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by DaisyII: 6:23pm On Mar 23, 2016
jamex93:
If ur eyes are still functioning u should d able to see that the relationship is coming to an end

it is metaphysical...more to it than the eye can see.
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by ISpiksDaTroof: 6:23pm On Mar 23, 2016
corisande:


i weight 5kg more than the op
but this woman in the picture is fatter than me
I'm taller than the op though and big boned.
Except you can show us a picture of a fat skeleton, then there's is nothing like "big boned". You are not "big boned".
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by Nobody: 6:24pm On Mar 23, 2016
Whinch advice she go take now. What if her dad was a billionaire?
Re: My Fiance Complains That I'm Too Fat by layla129(f): 6:25pm On Mar 23, 2016
Men!

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