Your picture??

sas91:
Pls I need your honest opinion on this matter , i'm a lady with an average height and weighing 70kg, my fiance always complain about my weight and I know I'm trying my best working on it. But this time around he compared me with my friend and said my friend has a better body structure than I, that i'm not more beautiful as I used to be and that if I want to be his wife then I must Slim down. And so many things I can't even mention. He finally asked if I am ready to do all he wants.
my fear is did he truly love me? what if I Slim down now and even get fatter after giving birth to a baby, wld he then hate me so much? i'm confused and scared of going on with the relationship, Pls I need advice from experienced people.

Let's analyse this. Do you feel you're fat? What is your hight? On your own side, do you feel he has a case or just looking for excuses to dump you?

Now let's see why he might be making these excuses. Have you guys been phorking? Cos if it's pure love without the influence of sex, weight should never be an issue and if he's concerned, he won't threaten you with it, he will work with you to burn the unnecessary fat.
So, if you've phorked with him..... You're the architect of your own heartbreak.

But if you've not phorked with him and he is threatening you..... Start preparing for a breakup. And IF you break up, please work on your weight. We men naturally wouldn't wanna marry a fat woman. It's better they marry you slim and you add weight.

I'm Geeme bros...... and I just wanna make senseses.

sas91:
Pls I need your honest opinion on this matter , i'm a lady with an average height and weighing 70kg, my fiance always complain about my weight and I know I'm trying my best working on it. But this time around he compared me with my friend and said my friend has a better body structure than I, that i'm not more beautiful as I used to be and that if I want to be his wife then I must Slim down. And so many things I can't even mention. He finally asked if I am ready to do all he wants.
my fear is did he truly love me? what if I Slim down now and even get fatter after giving birth to a baby, wld he then hate me so much? i'm confused and scared of going on with the relationship, Pls I need advice from experienced people.

take style avoid ur friend cos it's either something wan happen or e don dey happen ooooo

babe, if u won live lyf checking ur weight nd comparing ur self to odas, abeg marry d guy otherwise drop him nd find person wey go appreciate u thruout ur life wit ur weight nd not making u feel inferior to odas

sas91:

i'm just about your height

I have tried to shed some weight but its me lol
Doesn't work for me
Some are just that way
Ain't you healthy?
If you wanna look good and slim
Do for yourself and not him
Was he blind before he asked you out?
Tell him I said ori e ko pe

Bt 7Okg is nt dat fat to me.abeg dump dat guy joor.i even thought ure really dat fat

Your pix wil mk us deliver proper verdict void of assumption.

KashyBaby:
Ur man is only attracted with u physically...why he can't accept u juz the way u are? But anyway, juz do ur best to lose weight.. get motivated to all those negative things he had said, once u get ur ideal body weight plz punch him on his face.. ...

u this girl..your love for nairaland is too much..I must see to it that u marry a Nigerian..

Dyt:



You are an idiot
If you dunno
Now you know

U only found a perfect way of showcasing your stupidity.thanks for understanding ur stupidity.

See the handwriting on the wall and run ASAP. What will he do when you put to birth and add weight? You know that any man who isn't comfortable with your size is definitely a mismatch because since its your nature you will always keep coming back to that size once in a while. There is someone out there in love with your size so don't let any man pressure you into that.

@sas91
this man is honest about how he feels about your outlook, and you should compliment him for that.
this is the time to be fulLy honest and ask the IMPORTANT questions, not later. so COMMUNICATE and get rid of all the stuff that worries you!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcaluGLyEG0

henrydadon:
u this girl..your love for nairaland is too much..I must see to it that u marry a Nigerian..

Lol...u are wrong...nl is my past time after busy day & that doesn't mean I will marry a Nigerian

*marriage is not my thing* (whispering)

sas91:
Pls I need your honest opinion on this matter , i'm a lady with an average height and weighing 70kg, my fiance always complain about my weight and I know I'm trying my best working on it. But this time around he compared me with my friend and said my friend has a better body structure than I, that i'm not more beautiful as I used to be and that if I want to be his wife then I must Slim down. And so many things I can't even mention. He finally asked if I am ready to do all he wants.
my fear is did he truly love me? what if I Slim down now and even get fatter after giving birth to a baby, wld he then hate me so much? i'm confused and scared of going on with the relationship, Pls I need advice from experienced people.

Drink Schnapp mixed with lime water 2shot twice daily.....6months later,come thank me.

rahymat:
Bt 7Okg is nt dat fat to me.abeg dump dat guy joor.i even thought ure really dat fat

She telll u say na her boyfriend That's y it's not reasonable for married women to complain on social media cos it attracts aristos to comment things they have no understanding on. I rest my case.

Hmm...she weighs 70. I weigh 75 and I'm not anywhere close to being fat...never been fat.

To ur issue... It's very probable ur fiance is looking for an excuse to do away with u. If u've always been fat from the time he met u,I see no reason why he should be addressing it in this manner now. And yea,u're right. Maybe he's fallen out of love with u,so even if u trim down for him,there's no guaranteeing that he won't find other ways to fault u.

But for a start,try to shed off some fat and see what happens after that.

I tnk baba God dat am jst weighing 48kg.

slimzypink:
most fat ladies hav bad smell

that's mean

Nairaland girls 2 fine but na y dem 2 dey stingy with their number self

My sister Nairaland shouldn’t be the source of an advice in your relationship. Try to have a heart to heart discussion with your guy.Let him know you aren’t cool with him comparing you with your friend personalities. Then try to work a schedule with him, when and where you can both workouts for the fun of it.
But mind you: Human being want are not ascertain: if you are slim they will call you LEPA (Too slim) and if you are fat they will still call you OROBO (Heavy madam). So in whatever you are doing in life, just try to be happy…
Cheer…

KashyBaby:





Lol...u are wrong...nl is my past time after busy day & that doesn't mean I will marry a Nigerian

*marriage is not my thing* (whispering)

what do u mean marriage is not your thing..u just need to find that special someone...and am sure by now u know Nigerian are romantic

daretodiffer:


Yeah, you will soon go extinct too

Make you wait for me, I am coming to send you to Baba God

Nonsense!

just like that? just because of mine perception to an issue abeg go and get a job

For health reasons, try and slim down

I would advise you to work-out more and check your weight, not because of any man or supposedly figure head fiancee, NO, my advise is for you and your health.
One more thing, don't live your life trying to impress anyone, if your so called fiancee can't encourage you to lose weight rather than make you feel bad, you should't be with him.

U hooking people up with their God's chosen partners..... End time hook ups

His love for you is I%

QUIT THIS POO u call a relationship

henrydadon:
what do u mean marriage is not your thing..u just need to find that special someone...and am sure by now u know Nigerian are romantic

I'll skip that "find that special someone" ...I'm too busy doing nothing to look for someone..

Yes, Nigerian men are too sweet..I have so many friends i met in Malaysia, Indonesia & Thailand but nothing special..

sas91:
Pls I need your honest opinion on this matter , i'm a lady with an average height and weighing 70kg, my fiance always complain about my weight and I know I'm trying my best working on it. But this time around he compared me with my friend and said my friend has a better body structure than I, that i'm not more beautiful as I used to be and that if I want to be his wife then I must Slim down. And so many things I can't even mention. He finally asked if I am ready to do all he wants.
my fear is did he truly love me? what if I Slim down now and even get fatter after giving birth to a baby, wld he then hate me so much? i'm confused and scared of going on with the relationship, Pls I need advice from experienced people.

1. You're 70kg, but what is your height in case 70kg is a healthy weight for your height? If you feel you really do need to lose weight, then do so. But not because you fear you're going to lose him.
2. He placed a condition of marriage on you losing weight. Totally basing this off everything you have said, but that is incredibly worrying. Marriage is a very big subject and yet he he is placing a condition on something very trivial such as weight. And weight is so easy to mess up and get out of control therefore he is basing your marriage on something that could fall easily. I have a feeling if in the future you gain some weight, he may cheat on you, and he will blame shift and say "you caused me to fall out of love with you because of your weight, or cooking, or no makeup". I won't even go into blame shifting but your guy strikes me as either someone who doesn't know that only things of equal value must be traded and used for conditions or he is setting up a foundation for something he's going to use against you should you find him cheating/doing something bad in the future.
3. He compared you to your friend and said she looks better than you. That's horrible and demeaning. How could someone who loves another say that? Yes he may have been really bothered about your weight and maybe it's a serious topic for him but saying that is just dealing a low blow. This may lead to emotional abuse. Comparison is also the thief of joy. Your loved one should not make you feel inadequate and less than other people.

4. He asked if you were ready to do all he wants? What does " all" mean? When he said that, you could have asked what he'll do for you in return? I have a problem with that question itself but I'll leave that, ask what he'll be doing for you in return. Without the whole story it seems like there will be no give and take...just take. Again...this question, because it seems so impossible to answer or fulfill... Its like he's laying a very shaky foundation for you to stand on so you can fall easily (or get stress and headache by standing because you're afraid to fall..hope you get whatever visual I'm trying to use here).

Finally all I can say is that its not a bad thing that he wanted you to lose weight as all human beings (note: not just men) are visual people, its simply the truth. So its not a bad thing and that's not what set off the alarm. But if he truly loved you. He would not have placed such a limit on you marrying each other. That means his love for you cannot overcome the 15kg or so extra of weight on your body. Think about it the other way. If you do lose weight and get married. You got married because you lost weight. And in the future you'll think "this guy would not have married me if I was 70kg". I don't know about you but I don't want that kind of thought at the back of my head?

But only you know the story so decide accordingly? Look at the conditions (you mentioned there were others), do they feel doable if you gave it your best? or are they something that no human could do to perfection? (In this case he's giving himself some ammunition for doing something to you). And you said you were scared? Use that as a gauge, when you do lose weight and you're still doubting he loves you, don't get married in that state. Let it dissapear by truly observing if he loves you and you see you guys together waxing strong through thick and thin. or use it to make the decision of leaving him when you envision your future and instead of waxing strong through thick and thin you see him turn on you the moment something goes wrong.

Pls love yourself. If you want to lose weight then do it for yourself and not for any person. Fact is after having kids the body changes. So what happens if your bust sags? If a man does not love you as you are he won't love you when you change(slim down). So my honest advice as a wife, mother and woman is to walk. You will get a better person who loves you as you are. Best of luck.

tizzle:

Dude dont u read? He said her friend had a better structure... He couldn't havd said it in a boutigue... Smh

I read... but i guess u have a comprehension problem... I would have explained it to u what i said one by one, but I am kind of busy right now... just ask your neighbors what I posted. and they might be kind enough to tell u... have a good day

swaggprofessor:
She telll u say na her boyfriend That's y it's not reasonable for married women to complain on social media cos it attracts aristos to comment things they have no understanding on. I rest my case.

seems u dnt knw d difference between fiance nd husband nd u still have d audacity to call me an aristo without knowing whether im married or not.well quite nt surprised since its a normal things for nairalanders to yab eachother.

sas91:
Pls I need your honest opinion on this matter , i'm a lady with an average height and weighing 70kg, my fiance always complain about my weight and I know I'm trying my best working on it. But this time around he compared me with my friend and said my friend has a better body structure than I, that i'm not more beautiful as I used to be and that if I want to be his wife then I must Slim down. And so many things I can't even mention. He finally asked if I am ready to do all he wants.
my fear is did he truly love me? what if I Slim down now and even get fatter after giving birth to a baby, wld he then hate me so much? i'm confused and scared of going on with the relationship, Pls I need advice from experienced people.

I once created a thread about this.
https://www.nairaland.com/2567000/amazing-diverse-beauty-women-photo

Excerpts:
Every woman is excellently beautiful no matter how she looks.

I believe that every man on earth will have his specification as regards how he wants his lady to look and if you are a lady reading this,im very positive that you will fit into one of these body structures and if you look closely, you will see that each of these ladies are beautiful in their own different ways.

I know some guys that will never go for a slim lady while some will prefer skinny ones.I also have a brother who will never touch slim ladies so the good news is that no matter how you look,there is a man out there who will love you just the way you are.

Don't allow any man manage you, talk down on you or make you feel second best because of your body structure and the first duty you owe yourself is loving yourself the way you are and when you try to keep fit,don't do it for any man but only do it to maintain good health.

KashyBaby:
Ur man is only attracted with u physically...why he can't accept u juz the way u are? But anyway, juz do ur best to lose weight.. get motivated to all those negative things he had said, once u get ur ideal body weight plz punch him on his face.. jk...

accept the way she is abi? did she accept her ex the way he was with his tiny winnie?