ilovemylife:
I met a guy of 31 through my elder sister, last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we had become good friends and we started dating.

But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked me if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted.

We are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shocked to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confused, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife. Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.

Please nairalanders, what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discussed this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought have been crossing my mind.

NB: will be 27 by August

Op maybe you ain't giving him enough sex. are u? its obvious its just sex nothing more. so stay calm and give him sex *winks* that way everyone ll be happy. happy married life 8n advance

ilovemylife
NB: don't bliv d saying dat all men cheat.
TeamFaithful2mySpouse

u just look for a way to end it cos it would still continue in marriage.....

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My dear, read between the lines. If he's already cheating on you when you've not done your trad, heaven knows what he will do after the union is fully consummated. Cheating on you now is a tell-tale sign that you are going to be in agony all the days of your life and when you complain, he'll ask you if you didn't know he was a womanizer before you married him.

My candid advice:
Life is too short to gamble with, you need joy and happiness in life to live to the fullest extent possible. Leave him for a more responsible man, you will be better for it.

Go ahead wit d marriage,almst all men cheat nowadays sl is notin new.if u cald off d weddin,wat guarantee do u hav dat d nxt guy u will cme across won't cheat as well,all u nid do is to pray nd ask God to change him.is a gradual thing my sister,dnt rush it.if he dosnt love u he wudnt wnt to m arry u.I knw is smhw difficult to handle to b hornst wit u dia ar no perfect relatnshp or marriage anymore.hmmmmm....dnt quit oohhhhhh

ilovemylife:
I met a guy of 31 through my elder sister, last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we had become good friends and we started dating.

But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked me if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted.

We are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shocked to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confused, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife. Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.

Please nairalanders, what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discussed this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought have been crossing my mind.

NB: will be 27 by August

how did you stumble on the whatsapp message, its no coincidence your hand just clicked a random message and happened to be his chat with the girl. tho the guy is at fault but you had your own fault too by going through his messages.

my 2 cents advice:
1: next time you see your man's phone pls dont bother reading his messages to avoid stories like this again.
2: the fact that you saw whatever message on his phone does not mean you should cancel the marriage because he already told you shes just a fling ok? the fact that im cooking beans to eat does not mean i cant quickly cook indomie to eat..i hope you dig.
hope i did justice to whatever bothering you.

Madam, the only thing I can tell you is that.....
You're WEAK. Stand up and Take Charge of yo marriage! Letting a Slut taken charge of yo man isn't good! Take charge!

mimzy:
hmmm rex , let's be careful.

Most guys cheat and it's not cos they do not love their spouse/girlfriend.

OP honestly, trust me , the grass is NOT greener on the other side. Water your own well and see how well it flourishes.

Cheating is not enough to cancel the plans if you truly love him and vice versa.

Aint saying she shouldn't express her hurts but cancellation of the wedding just seems too extreme a measure for me.

Hmmm however if it was a guy that wrote this piece about the girl he wants to marry, I wonder...I just wonder what your advice would be..

Megaideas:
My dear, read between the lines. If he's already cheating on you when you've not done your trad, heaven knows what he will do after the union is fully consummated. Cheating on you now is a tell-tale sign that you are going to be in agony all the days of your life and when you complain, he'll ask you if you didn't know he was a womanizer before you married him.

My candid advice:
Life is too short to gamble with, you need joy and happiness in life to live to the fullest extent possible. Leave him for a more responsible man, you will be better for it.

so because a knife cut your finger, you should throw it away, whats the assurance the next knife wont cut deeper...sometimes letting go isnt the best of solutions. i believe in redemption

FazzyKachi:
Madam, the only thing I can tell you is that.....

You're WEAK. Stand up and Take Charge of yo marriage!
Letting a Slut taken charge of yo man isn't good! Take charge!

Take charge Iranu wo..... If she kills him by mistake now..people will come and say she should have just walked away...

swaggerdgrt:
Go ahead wit d marriage,almst all men cheat nowadays sl is notin new.if u cald off d weddin,wat guarantee do u hav dat d nxt guy u will cme across won't cheat as well,all u nid do is to pray nd ask God to change him.is a gradual thing my sister,dnt rush it.if he dosnt love u he wudnt wnt to m arry u.I knw is smhw difficult to handle to b hornst wit u dia ar no perfect relatnshp or marriage anymore.hmmmmm....dnt quit oohhhhhh

This here is why women are dying in their marriages everyday. 'Pray for him to change*...ok kwantinu
praying...se u sha know that God does not interfere with Free will...

Sisi Op....kindly run for your life. No worry, good man plenty outside.
Thank you for listening.

I'll be insincere if i tell you that i get your point though..

coolviv:


Hmmm however if it was a guy that wrote this piece about the girl he wants to marry, I wonder...I just wonder what your advice would be..

coolviv:


This here is why women are dying in their marriages everyday. 'Pray for him to change*...ok kwantinu
praying...se u sha know that God does not interfere with Free will...

baby girl thats too mean..so she should just give up?

My dear op. This is it, if u are sure He is cheating on u while dating then be 101% sure He will cheat on u when u eventually get married to Him. For it is a no go. But ask urself if u can cope with the cheating while in ur matrimonial home. and come to think of it peradventure a baby that is not yours gets into the seen what will b ur reaction. See my dear its complications all the way. This is my since advice for u. U need to pay more attention to urself and love urself more. Just strengthen ur relationship with ur maker. The right Man will DEFINITELY find u. Its not going to be easy to walk away but it is possible.I wish u the very best.

myguy01:


baby girl thats too mean..so she should just give up?

My guy leave that thing abeg, your girlfriend dey sleep with your neighbour you ve known all your life down your street and people go dey advice u to not give up.

We tin you wan hold kwa nu?

Op walk away and thank me later

mimzy:
I'll be insincere if i tell you that i get your point though..

Eh leave am like dat. Those wey get am don get am...

coolviv:


My guy leave that thing abeg, your girlfriend dey sleep with your neighbour you ve known all your life down your street and people go dey advice u to not give up.

We tin you wan hold kwa nu?

its not the same in the situation of a lady..a cheating housewife is the worst thing ever

Cozystuff:
You're really as foolish as he expected with this statement of yours. So you're just fine with him cheating on you but not with your neighbour. Goodluck marrying your cheating boyfriend, you fit each other.

My dear, you should know, there's a big difference between when a man is cheating on you with someone you don't know, and when he's cheating on you with someone you know.

Tell me, how will you feel if you find out that your boify is cheating on you with your sister?

ilovemylife:

My problem isn't about him cheating on me but doing it with a girl I have known a my life, we grew up together although we don't talk to each other, to me that's disrespecting me after giving me his word that he isn't gonna have anything to do with her again
Do think that's the kinda of man I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I am 27yrs yes but marriage doesn't define me. Thanks anyway

so u are swying uou wouldnt have bothered if it was someone you never knew? hehehe. ur case is easy then. just tell him to flirt with only people you dont know abi?

ilovemylife:

My problem isn't about him cheating on me but doing it with a girl I have known a my life, we grew up together although we don't talk to each other, to me that's disrespecting me after giving me his word that he isn't gonna have anything to do with her again
Do think that's the kinda of man I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I am 27yrs yes but marriage doesn't define me. Thanks anyway

so u are saying you wouldnt have bothered if it was someone you never knew? hehehe. ur case is easy then. just tell him to flirt with only people you dont know abi?

dyadeleye:
You don't need to back out of the wedding sis, tactically turn the lady(old gf) to your friend and let her know you got wind of all the sexual relationship she is having with your husband to be...make her see reasons to leave your man to you.
Then that same night, give the blockhead some great sex...Bleep his Brain out like a porn star...afterward, discuss the issue of the girl with him....trust me, he's gonna change after that.

NB: and if he doesn't, you know what to do .....

No amount of sex you give can make him stop. Let him understand why you are backing out of the marriage. Better single and be happy than to be married and be frustrated and heartbroken

gabinogem:
It's very obvious ur bf(fiance) is sexually attracted to that ur friendly neighbour, though he may not take her as his 'wife material' but I think he's enjoying her sex.

If he's enjoying the sex, i doubt it if he is going to stop. Pray about it, a lot of women are regretting the decision they took.

Love conquer all, Keep show him love. The said girl is just fooling around by bidding him farewell from bachelorhood via sex. He knows what he is doing. Na you go laff loud and smile nice.

pls pray seriously because a lot of women are regretting the type of decsion they took now I believe there is nothing prayer cannot do.

ilovemylife:

Is not about sleeping around, is about doing it with someone I have known all my life
If am to be ur younger sis what will you advice me to do.

Then distance yourself from her before she poisons you. Period.

If you keep her and drop your man, what if they don't get married and she still tries to snatch another man from you?

trappatoni:
If he's enjoying the sex, i doubt it if he is going to stop. Pray about it, a lot of women are regretting the decision they took.

yeah... Sex is one unique thing that Intoxicate the brain & numbs the mind.... Yet alot of folks are slave to it.

I would love to start by asking u this uestion: *what evidence* or chat conversation did u see on his phone that made u think he is sleeping with your friend? ...I'm saying this because words have different meanings...expecially when it comes to whatsapp chat...the person who typed d message(s) understands better. An old friend i never dated sent me a good morning message today @ 6:45am and at the end of the mesage....she said *i miss you*, knowing fully well i was married. This is a lady i have not heard from nor seen for d past 6 years...sure, u dont want to hear d rest of d story: my wife gave me my breakfast at 5:30pm despite all the preaching to convince her. U may comfront him now & come back to tell us difderent story.

EgunMogaji:


Any Nigerian husband in Nigeria will sleep with many women in the course of a marriage.

If you can't deal with that then stay single.

Who do you think is maintaining all those runs girls? The jobless single youths?

PS:

Apologise to your husband for invading his privacy and never do it again. My wife knows better.

Does he have the capacity to provide you a good home, does he have the capacity to provide a good future for the children?

Think. Oh and if you ask your friends then you're doomed. They'll give you feminist feel good advices while they hide much more worse in their household.

Oh.God.Have.Mercy!!!!!!!!!

Vivly:

Oh.God.Have.Mercy!!!!!!!!!

What can I say, I'm a male chauvinist pig