Truth is a man that you caught cheating while preparing for marriage will continue cheating afterwards. Even if you confront him, of course he will promise not to repeat such but what happens later? Suspend whatever marriage plans you have for now, sit your mum down and explain the situation to her after confronting Mr Sucker. And then think about how a lifelong commitment to this man will affect you should a child result from his marital affairs. Don't be in a hurry to settle down with this man. 27 aren't to old, so take your time to make the right decisions.
And please pray and let God direct you. All men do not cheat like some would say. I am lucky to have one of the good ones by the grace of God. Be wise.

Clarakings:
Truth is a man that you caught cheating while preparing for marriage will continue cheating afterwards. Even if you confront him, of course he will promise not to repeat such but what happens later? Suspend whatever marriage plans you have for now, sit your mum down and explain the situation to her after confronting Mr Sucker. And then think about how a lifelong commitment to this man will affect you should a child result from his marital affairs. Don't be in a hurry to settle down with this man. 27 aren't to old, so take your time to make the right decisions.
And please pray and let God direct you. All men do not cheat like some would say. I am lucky to have one of the good ones by the grace of God. Be wise.

Or he could be a real man and tell her how it's going to be and that she can hitch her wagon and mosey on down the road.

I find your naivety refreshing and hilarious at the same time

Greenbullet:
relax she is the Nokia torch light,u are the I phone6.u are wife material she is for banging purpose

I don't get it. Is this meant to be a compliment? What of the diseases such as Hiv that will be shared to op?

Op RUN cos your life is involved.

No no no. Why cancel ur wedding plans Cuz he's barely cheating on u. Stay with him and have lots of kids and after 4-5years wen u discover he has 9 mistresses and 5kids outside ur marriage u can come back to nairaland. Am sure our experts would be glad to help den

queenoflafia:
Don't cancel your wedding plans pls.there is no perfect man and neither is there a perfect woman.just talk to him and let him know how what he is doing is affecting u.
The other day I said it was in their DNA,they called for my head

false generalization!All men ain't the same ok?!I'm one very good example and i remain proud to be a one-woman kind of guy...infact reverse have always been the case if you get my point!

coolviv:


This here is why women are dying in their marriages everyday. 'Pray for him to change*...ok kwantinu
praying...se u sha know that God does not interfere with Free will...

prayer is d only solutn,dnt underate d power of God cos he can do wonders.am nt sayin cheatin is gud,bt it is beta dan d guy beating her evryday

My dea dat guy is nt 4 u bt 4 dat gal or do u want to b ar secound wife?

joseph1832:
My dear, you should know, there's a big difference between when a man is cheating on you with someone you don't know, and when he's cheating on you with someone you know.

Tell me, how will you feel if you find out that your boify is cheating on you with your sister?

for someone who is getting married in July, the issue shouldn't be who he's cheating with but the fact that he's cheating. So as I said, they fit each other!

myguy01:


how did you stumble on the whatsapp message, its no coincidence your hand just clicked a random message and happened to be his chat with the girl. tho the guy is at fault but you had your own fault too by going through his messages.

my 2 cents advice:
1: next time you see your man's phone pls dont bother reading his messages to avoid stories like this again.
2: the fact that you saw whatever message on his phone does not mean you should cancel the marriage because he already told you shes just a fling ok? the fact that im cooking beans to eat does not mean i cant quickly cook indomie to eat..i hope you dig.
hope i did justice to whatever bothering you.

I am not normally like that, don't even have time to check mating him because I am a very busy person and we don't stay in the same town!

HaneefahRN:



Doveda, don't bring nurses and Drs into this
Most of what you heard are exaggerations and lies plus imaginations born out of Nollywood films.


But I'm not disputing what you are trying say though. A married female friend ( a well off woman) of my aunt was telling her how she and some friends enjoy their lives (cheat), I just open mouth. My aunt just put her at arm's length .These are women you would never think are involved in such, and their husbands will also be feeling smart while cheating on them. Marriage is loosing it's meaning.

Marriages nowadays are what people lunge toward when the barrenness of loneliness has hit the psychological ceiling; others principally for baby-making; some for around-the-clock come-at-able sëx; and others, like I eventually would, do so to keep appearances - call it a high-fallutin dance to the constrictive tunes of superannuated societal injunctions.

Prithee, can you capitulate some necessary and red-carpet steps you think would prove effectual in subsiding this wave of madness that's leaving modern-day marriages tempest-tossed?.

Today you'll hear about Ronda Shonke, tomorrow you'll hear about Tee Billz. All these kain stories dey discourage we younglings o. Abi make I kuku become Reverend Father?

My Advice Is You Seek For Elder Counsel. It Seem Their Is Something Bonding Between Him And The Lady. You Need To Open Up To Your Family

agbomere12:
I would love to start by asking u this uestion: *what evidence* or chat conversation did u see on his phone that made u think he is sleeping with your friend? ...I'm saying this because words have different meanings...expecially when it comes to whatsapp chat...the person who typed d message(s) understands better. An old friend i never dated sent me a good morning message today @ 6:45am and at the end of the mesage....she said *i miss you*, knowing fully well i was married. This is a lady i have not heard from nor seen for d past 6 years...sure, u dont want to hear d rest of d story: my wife gave me my breakfast at 5:30pm despite all the preaching to convince her. U may comfront him now & come back to tell us difderent story.

I know what I'm saying when I said he is still sleeping with her, I don't stay in the same city with him. I work in the state capital, in the chat he was asking her to come and spend the night and she did come and don't tell me nothing happened . I am not a baby any longer I know what am saying, don't want state the real content of the chat

ilovemylife:

My problem isn't about him cheating on me but doing it with a girl I have known a my life, we grew up together although we don't talk to each other, to me that's disrespecting me after giving me his word that he isn't gonna have anything to do with her again
Do think that's the kinda of man I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I am 27yrs yes but marriage doesn't define me. Thanks anyway

Oh, you don't have a problem with his cheating habit?

If you really don't, Happy married life...in advance.

queenoflafia:
Don't cancel your wedding plans pls.there is no perfect man and neither is there a perfect woman.just talk to him and let him know how what he is doing is affecting u.
The other day I said it was in their DNA,they called for my head

Is that the kind of advice you'd give your sister or even daughter if her fiance was sleeping around? "There's no perfect man"? This is why men will always treat you women like shite and get away with it. When it comes to marriage, y'all will just turn to mugu. Beat you, cheat on you, disrespected you but since marriage is on the table you decide to stoop your life so low. CHAI!

That's what the woman who got killed in Egbeda by her husband was telling herself; "marriage is more important that my life, I'll stay and chop the beating. After all, there's no perfect man". Where's she now?

Garbage advice from a typical desperate-to-marry Nigerian woman.

queenoflafia:
Don't cancel your wedding plans pls.there is no perfect man and neither is there a perfect woman.just talk to him and let him know how what he is doing is affecting u.
The other day I said it was in their DNA,they called for my head

lol see your mouth it's true sha..

Well, d problem is that he is doing it wit a lady u grew up with, and in other way he showed u that he loves u by asking ur hand in mariage in d front of d same girl and rest of his other friends that came to celebrate with him, so i advice that u try and hold anough evedence b4 u confront him, nd make sure u have it done b4 mariage so that u no ur fate.

richidinho:

Ojuju calabar @dp

lol..... representing my identity.

coolviv:


Take charge Iranu wo..... If she kills him by mistake now..people will come and say she should have just walked away...

Kindly calm down jawe_
I no mean say make she go fight! What I meant was, Let her talk to her man! Maybe she should talk to her Mom bout "How to take Charge of her Family/Husband"_
If she continue to dy do like ice-water, na her choice sha!

rheether:
You see husband and you're complaining. Babe go ahead and marry him jhoor. He will still cheat on you anyway so it's a no win situation.

coming from a lady!!!! I give up
are you looking for husband?
because your husband cheat does not mean all guys cheat.

Cozystuff:
for someone who is getting married in July, the issue shouldn't be who he's cheating with but the fact that he's cheating. So as I said, they fit each other!

Okay.

I think u should talk to him now for u guyz to sort the whole thing out before you enter into marriage with a wrong mindset n trust me u won't enjoy the marriage dt way.

Please op ensure you both do a retroviral screening before sleeping together or getting married.
I you get infected you will suffer as emotional, psychological, physical and stress from childbearing can make you fall ill and he will not be there for you.
secondly that you were introduced to him can make him feel that you don't have a choice of a man for your self and that he is doing you a favour marrying you as you have previously been disappointed.

You've had previous relationships that didn't work out, that's to show there's no perfect man elsewhere. You have to create your perfect man and this lies in the prayer led decisions you make.
I like what Rexhenrex suggested, gather enough evidence show it to him tell him the hurt you feel if he apologises and you still love him that you can't let go,forgive him then watch him if he repeats his action or still flirts dump him. But a question comes to my mind. For how long will you continue to watch? when you wedding is around the corner, he may decide to lay low till then and comes out fully after your wedding.
My advice to you is to have a discussion with him, show him the evidence which he may deny but be mindful of addressing him with anger, let him know how it hurts and how you feel if it means crying in front of him to show your hurt, then you'll base your decision on his response. If he decides to stop or change then you have a seperate discussion with the other lady, compose yourself talk to her politely and calmly cos she may decide to flare up and do worst, let her see reasons and let her put herself in your own shoes,if she makes good response then you have a meeting with the three (you,your husband to be and the other lady) of you together and you talk things out. If otherwise you take the risk of cancelling,its never too late and 27 but mind you the next person may be worst. Just pray before you make any decision. Its another thing to get advice,its another thing make use of an advice in the best way. I pray that GOD guides you on the right decision to make.

gabinogem:
It's very obvious ur bf(fiance) is sexually attracted to that ur friendly neighbour, though he may not take her as his 'wife material' but I think he's enjoying her sex.

my thought.

pray ND talk sense into him nd watch him closely b4 the end of June,after that u take a decision.NB marriage is not friendship be wise

Udofire:
You've had previous relationships that didn't work out, that's to show there's no perfect man elsewhere. You have to create your perfect man and this lies in the prayer led decisions you make.
I like what Rexhenrex suggested, gather enough evidence show it to him tell him the hurt you feel if he apologises and you still love him that you can't let go,forgive him then watch him if he repeats his action or still flirts dump him. But a question comes to my mind. For how long will you continue to watch? when you wedding is around the corner, he may decide to lay low till then and comes out fully after your wedding.
My advice to you is to have a discussion with him, show him the evidence which he may deny but be mindful of addressing him with anger, let him know how it hurts and how you feel if it means crying in front of him to show your hurt, then you'll base your decision on his response. If he decides to stop or change then you have a seperate discussion with the other lady, compose yourself talk to her politely and calmly cos she may decide to flare up and do worst, let her see reasons and let her put herself in your own shoes,if she makes good response then you have a meeting with the three (you,your husband to be and the other lady) of you together and you talk things out. If otherwise you take the risk of cancelling,its never too late and 27 but mind you the next person may be worst. Just pray before you make any decision. Its another thing to get advice,its another thing make use of an advice in the best way. I pray that GOD guides you on the right decision to make.

Nice one. Please do note that a man that is cheating before marriage will most likely not change after marriage. Cheating comes naturally to most men. Men rarely stop cheating after marriage Oooo

You're still going to go ahead and do what you want to do,but let me just say this;
Firstly,you said you dont mind that he's cheating,what you mind is the fact that he's sleeping with someone you know. so basically i dont really see what the problem is because the bottom line here is that he's cheating. And if you dont mind that he's cheating at all,i dont see why you should mind that he's doing it with someone you know because if you can tolerate him cheating in the first place,you most definitely can tolerate him cheating with whoever..regardless of who she is.
Secondly,you said part of the people you're considering is your mum. well....your mum is your mum and she will always remain your mum despite whatever decisions you make,she's lived her life,fallen in love,gotten married and gave birth to you and now its your turn to do so. The most important thing here is that its your life and its your choice and i can tell you this,whatever decision you make concerning this situation,even though she may not be happy with it,she'll support you 100% because you're her daughter and your happiness is more paramount to her than anything else.
Finally,i know they say all men cheat,but personally i dont believe that. You just have to go with your heart and above all talk to God about it. But one thing i know is that love is not pain and love is not disrespectful and untrustworthy and if you feel this three things in your relationship then its not right. Don't think about your age,or your mum or what your fiancè promised you rather think about yourself,your happiness,your peace of mind and do what your heart tells you to.
And please...pray about it,God is the only one who can give us an unbiased advice and the only one that can heal the ache in our hearts,so talk to him about it,have faith and believe that he's going to answer you and just watch him do his magic.

PEACE.

rheether:
You see husband and you're complaining. Babe go ahead and marry him jhoor. He will still cheat on you anyway so it's a no win situation.

see advice lol why are you people like this

sexual Attraction is very strong and not easily brake, even when both knows there is no love. Esp when they keep on seeing
My advice is that u should not stop the wedding since he caring. Take him out, do something that surprise him and makes him extremely happy. In the middle of the excitement, Engage him in a heart talk about the issue. Don't confront him. Do it peacefully but b serious. Ask him y he is doing what he is doing.
if he will open to tell u the reason for his action. work on that and win his heart back

Svelte98:
You're still going to go ahead and do what you want to do,but let me just say this;
Firstly,you said you dont mind that he's cheating,what you mind is the fact that he's sleeping with someone you know. so basically i dont really see what the problem is because the bottom line here is that he's cheating. And if you dont mind that he's cheating at all,i dont see why you should mind that he's doing it with someone you know because if you can tolerate him cheating in the first place,you most definitely can tolerate him cheating with whoever..regardless of who she is.
Secondly,you said part of the people you're considering is your mum. well....your mum is your mum and she will always remain your mum despite whatever decisions you make,she's lived her life,fallen in love,gotten married and gave birth to you and now its your turn to do so. The most important thing here is that its your life and its your choice and i can tell you this,whatever decision you make concerning this situation,even though she may not be happy with it,she'll support you 100% because you're her daughter and your happiness is more paramount to her than anything else.
Finally,i know they say all men cheat,but personally i dont believe that. You just have to go with your heart and above all talk to God about it. But one thing i know is that love is not pain and love is not disrespectful and untrustworthy and if you feel this three things in your relationship then its not right. Don't think about your age,or your mum or what your fiancè promised you rather think about yourself,your happiness,your peace of mind and do what your heart tells you to.
And please...pray about it,God is the only one who can give us an unbiased advice and the only one that can heal the ache in our hearts,so talk to him about it,have faith and believe that he's going to answer you and just watch him do his magic.

PEACE.

well said...very well said

my fellow young lady,have u tried to find out those things that's making him still Bleep and want to Bleep ur so called friend? when u do,he might change but if u have and have given it to him and he still go after her,hmmmmmm,even on ur wedding night,sis,he will do the worst.

Nothing is wrong with men,nothing is wrong with women but there is everything wrong in the choices of a life partner.
Marriage doesnt change anyone,it only exposes the true u to your spouse.
So if he slaps & beats u before marriage,that continues after marriage.if she steals before marriage,she will continue after.confront him,hears his responds,listen to ur heart.give yourself time, then act.