SurveyorD:


Nice one. Please do note that a man that is cheating before marriage will most likely not change after marriage. Cheating comes naturally to most men. Men rarely stop cheating after marriage Oooo

I understand you, i have a close relation who was worst than this but marriage changed everything, it doesn't mean the same thing for another person. As i normally tell my colleagues; all men are the same, its just the package that shows the difference. We all have the tendency to cheat, its just our determination to fight cheating that shows the difference.

So ur main problem is that he did it with someone u have know all ur life,and nt that he cheated on u,u no get whala ooh

see my sister a man that is not truly born again can commit all kinds of sin, because d devil is still at work in him. Even you, if u r not born again, r u telling me u r complete a saint? except u r, dear you still find your self in one mess or d oda. stop giving Satan a chance to manipulate your mind. May be God want to use a decent woman to bring him to God n making him
to be d best hobby thru u. Was Saul decent? God picked him on his way of destruction, was d brodas of Joseph decent? Joseph became their savoir wen d needed him most! time wll not permit
to mention more. So get up on your feet and pray for forgiveness for him ask Gos to come into your marriage n drive away strangers of good things in your life. The church of God stood for Peter. So stand for hi
m if u truly lov e him. Remember to kneel before him as a humble wife speak ur heart out after you prayed for him. God bless ur marriage dear. Go ahead Satan is a liar!

ilovemylife:

I am into makeover and I work with the state government

Thank God it's still a relationship, you don't endure in relationship; marriage is where you need endurance lest you end up like tiwa savage and others. The fact that I'm a cheat doesn't mean all guys are bad and you will surely find a better guy.
If a guy loves you he will never cheat on you, be wise.

ilovemylife:
I met a guy of 31 through my elder sister, last year February. He started asking me out but because I just came out of a bad relationship, I told him that I am not yet ready to go into a relationship now but he hanged on until August, by then we had become good friends and we started dating.

But three months into the relationship I noticed that my boyfriend has a thing with a lady that stays in the same street with me, a lady I have known all my life cos we grew up together, I confronted him and he told me that it was just a Fling and nothing more, so I told him to please stop whatever he is doing with the girl because we know each other and he promised too. I trusted him to because I can't be going around checking up on a man old enough to take care of himself. So during his birthday this year, he told me the girl called him to wish him happy birthday and asked him hope she will be getting an invite for the party, so he asked me if he should invite her, I told him he can that I don't have a problem with that. So he invited her for the birthday party and she came for the party and my boyfriend introduced me to her as his girlfriend, in that same party my boyfriend gave me the surprise of my life when he asked me to marry him and I accepted.

We are now planning for our traditional wedding which is coming up July but I was shocked to find out that my husband to be is still sleeping with that same girl because I stumble on their whatsapp chat. I feel like my world is crashing before my very eyes, I am so confused, what should I do. I haven't confronted him yet and I am not ready to because I don't want another series of lies and deceit. This is man that has taken very good care of my financial but what of emotional and again it's not all about money for me because I am not going to be a poor wife. Should I walk out of this relationship and cancel the wedding plans? I am so confused now, because if he truly loves me as he claims, he should be able to respect me, another question I wanted to ask him is this, why that lady.

Please nairalanders, what should I do, confront him or what, I have even discussed this with any of my family member. And since this incident I have been very down, so many thought have been crossing my mind.

NB: will be 27 by August

Fleeeeeeeeee!!!!while you can.. a broken relationship is better than a broken home

ilovemylife:

Thanks you, tears rolled down my eyes as I read this price, do you know the only person am really considering is my mum, how is she gonna take this if I tell her am not going to go ahead with this, we have gone deep into the preparation and so many things has been bought and paid for. I have never been this hurt my whole life

I don't support infidelity in any circumstances.

I'm sorry about your situation and mean no disrespect but you appear to me to be too focused on the odds.

If you let me, my advice is for you to confront your fiance in a matured, open conversation devoid of any kind of emotions and try to see if there are fundamental concerns that have to be tackled headlong.

Your maturity in this difficult time for your relationship will go a long in defining who you really are, whether as someone prepared for challenges of marital life or just another youth still standing at the crossroad and waiting to be saved.

Taiwomeltingmoz:
Didn't bother reading through the comment, this is the first thing that came to my head. A man who truly loves you would be basking in the euphoria of his trad coming up soon. It possible he loves sexing the lady, and the sex could still continue after the marriage. I was in the same shoes 5years back, I confronted the would be husband then, and was foolish enough to believe what he told me and went ahead with the wedding, that said. A man who doesn't respect your feelings before won't after he's married to you. Your mum won't live in the marriage with you, the only person who matters here is you. Back to reading comments.

Gbam! C'est fini! Fullstop!

EgunMogaji:


Any Nigerian husband in Nigeria will sleep with many women in the course of a marriage.

If you can't deal with that then stay single.

Who do you think is maintaining all those runs girls? The jobless single youths?

PS:

Apologise to your husband for invading his privacy and never do it again. My wife knows better.[b][/b]

Does he have the capacity to provide you a good home, does he have the capacity to provide a good future for the children?

Think. Oh and if you ask your friends then you're doomed. They'll give you feminist feel good advices while they hide much more worse in their household.

someone sounds proud of his cheating ways

mkpikpub:


Stop going through his phones. You are hurting yourself. Every man does it

every woman therefore has the right to, you know?

rheether:
You see husband and you're complaining. Babe go ahead and marry him jhoor. He will still cheat on you anyway so it's a no win situation.

Chai e be like u don old/tey for house ooo

What you cannot endure now will be unbearable in marriage! This man is an unrepentant cheat! If you can endure such a trait then go ahead with the marriage but if you can't, then take a walk before it's too late! If I where you... the moment I see that chat is the moment I would have made up my mind to call off what ever we have! Don't wait till asoebi has been bought and cards are printed before you make up your mind, this is the time

CopyLearner:
someone sounds proud of his cheating ways

Hi kids, good evening

CopyLearner:
every woman therefore has the right to, you know?

Not in my house.

But some men are footwear, naturally

Copylearner: honey, I'm home.
Wifey: okay you know the drill.
Copy learner: yes dear, I already removed my balls and I put them in the jar next to your pillow ma.
Wifey: now that's a good boy, here have a cookie while you iron my panties

from your write up i sense that your man have been involved with the chik before you two started dating....which is no surprise however you must confront him...his response will be the pointer as too the next step to take...if it ever get to a point where you have to call of the wedding plans...plz do it o....cos if u manage am....u go pay the price later....but u can watch the movie war room....then go ahead am marry him irrespective of whatever...but be ready to do battle using prayer as ur weapon..cos na God dey change man no be woman

falseman:
Op would you marry Dangote even if you are aware he cheats?
Would you marry a poor faithful man?

Find honest answers to these questions then compare it to your situation the rest is up to you.

Op ilovemylife should also compare this; if they get married and he continues cheating and contracts an STD which he passes onto her, which of them will able to pay for her STD tablets and if it goes as far as HIV, apt for her retroviral drugs and also fund all the healthy foods and supplementary vitamins from high-class hospitals she'll have to be taking to stay alive.
Find honest answers to these questions then compare it to your situation the rest is up to you.

EgunMogaji:


Not in my house.

But some men are footwear, naturally

Copylearner: honey, I'm home.
Wifey: okay you know the drill.
Copy learner: yes dear, I already removed my balls and I put them in the jar next to your pillow ma.
Wifey: now that's a good boy, here have a cookie while you iron my panties

go to bed

CopyLearner:
go to bed

Why?

It's only 6PM here.

Normal people with a real life don't go to bed at 6PM

olac21:


Cmon not that she's not happy with the man she's just hurt!you guys should encourage her a bit to give the guy one more chance and preparations are at top-notch,so she should calm down and engage the guy in a one-on-one talk!that's it dear!

One more chance? Marriage is one chance oh. Once you enter you've entered. You say she's happy but hurt. How do you correlate the two? Does someone crying everyday equate to happiness? How do you define being happy?

EgunMogaji:


Any Nigerian husband in Nigeria will sleep with many women in the course of a marriage.

If you can't deal with that then stay single.

Who do you think is maintaining all those runs girls? The jobless single youths?

PS:

Apologise to your husband for invading his privacy and never do it again. My wife knows better.

Does he have the capacity to provide you a good home, does he have the capacity to provide a good future for the children?

Think. Oh and if you ask your friends then you're doomed. They'll give you feminist feel good advices while they hide much more worse in their household.

I thank God for my life. I feel sorry for your wife. Then again, she made her choice.

He won't change. Will your mom be there when he gives you heartache and STDs? Imagine the yucky nonsense and dirty juices he's transferring from her vjay-jay to yours?

I'm sorry cheating grosses me out. The things you *bought and paid for* you wont even remember them them the chips are down in marriage. Are they not material things? Don't throw your life away over frivolities.

You deserve better.

The comments are something else. Low self esteem everywhere.

P.s not all men cheat. Don't allow yourself to be fed these lies. It's your life and your decision.

chrispratt:


I thank God for my life. I feel sorry for your wife. Then again, she made her choice.

I thank God for my life. I feel sorry for your wife. Then again, she made her choice.

I can relate.
but seriously I think its in their DNA

queenoflafia:
Don't cancel your wedding plans pls.there is no perfect man and neither is there a perfect woman.just talk to him and let him know how what he is doing is affecting u.
The other day I said it was in their DNA,they called for my head

When not in a relationship flings are allowed. But when u find that special woman. Faithfulness plays a role in keeping u to her. Between a woman and a man, only God knows who they lie pass.. I believe that everything rest on the individual in question. Fallacy ain't accepted Facts are.

queenoflafia:
Don't cancel your wedding plans pls.there is no perfect man and neither is there a perfect woman.just talk to him and let him know how what he is doing is affecting u.
The other day I said it was in their DNA,they called for my head

Good morning everyone, I can't really go through all the mentions but like some of you advice, after work yesterday I drove them to where he is staying to see him because he too has noticed I am not in my best frame of mind and he has been asking me what's wrong with me. We have a long talk about these issues, he was surprise how I get to know, from that to ashamed of himself, and he starting apologizing I told him to say I was hurt will be an understatement and after that I told him what I wanted and this was it, I want a break from this relationship, our traditional wedding put on hold for now because I needed to clear my head and again for him to really think it through and know exactly what he really wanted and if at the end of everything he still want me and I am also ready to continue, then he should cut all ties with any female he has anything to do with. My decision didn't go down well with him, he keeping telling me he doesn't want the break, he doesn't want out traditional wedding put on hold, he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, he will do what I wanted from today.
But my mind is already made up and I stand by what I said, he knows my stand on cheating, I left my previous relationship because of that! Even as I typed this I can't still start the tears from flowing, this morning I am going to see my mum and explain things you her and I pray she will take everything calmly then my siblings and my would be mother in-law. Above all I will do ask many of you asked and put everything in God's hand, all I want is to be happy and I know God will see me through in this difficult situation because I have alot of explanation to give lots of people why my marriage isn't happened as proposed.
Thanks everyone for all the contribution so far, I really appreciate.

ilovemylife:
Good morning everyone, I can't really go through all the mentions but like some of you advice, after work yesterday I drove them to where he is staying to see him because he too has noticed I am not in my best frame of mind and he has been asking me what's wrong with me. We have a long talk about these issues, he was surprise how I get to know, from that to ashamed of himself, and he starting apologizing I told him to say I was hurt will be an understatement and after that I told him what I wanted and this was it, I want a break from this relationship, our traditional wedding put on hold for now because I needed to clear my head and again for him to really think it through and know exactly what he really wanted and if at the end of everything he still want me and I am also ready to continue, then he should cut all ties with any female he has anything to do with. My decision didn't go down well with him, he keeping telling me he doesn't want the break, he doesn't want out traditional wedding put on hold, he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, he will do what I wanted from today.
But my mind is already made up and I stand by what I said, he knows my stand on cheating, I left my previous relationship because of that! Even as I typed this I can't still start the tears from flowing, this morning I am going to see my mum and explain things you her and I pray she will take everything calmly then my siblings and my would be mother in-law. Above all I will do ask many of you asked and put everything in God's hand, all I want is to be happy and I know God will see me through in this difficult situation because I have alot of explanation to give lots of people why my marriage isn't happened as proposed.
Thanks everyone for all the contribution so far, I really appreciate.

I think u are taking the wrong step, but it's ur life anyway

Dammed93:


No amount of sex you give can make him stop. Let him understand why you are backing out of the marriage. Better single and be happy than to be married and be frustrated and heartbroken

All men do cheat...its in our DNA....
Cheating and covering it up is called respek...lol

ilovemylife:
Good morning everyone, I can't really go through all the mentions but like some of you advice, after work yesterday I drove them to where he is staying to see him because he too has noticed I am not in my best frame of mind and he has been asking me what's wrong with me. We have a long talk about these issues, he was surprise how I get to know, from that to ashamed of himself, and he starting apologizing I told him to say I was hurt will be an understatement and after that I told him what I wanted and this was it, I want a break from this relationship, our traditional wedding put on hold for now because I needed to clear my head and again for him to really think it through and know exactly what he really wanted and if at the end of everything he still want me and I am also ready to continue, then he should cut all ties with any female he has anything to do with. My decision didn't go down well with him, he keeping telling me he doesn't want the break, he doesn't want out traditional wedding put on hold, he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, he will do what I wanted from today.
But my mind is already made up and I stand by what I said, he knows my stand on cheating, I left my previous relationship because of that! Even as I typed this I can't still start the tears from flowing, this morning I am going to see my mum and explain things you her and I pray she will take everything calmly then my siblings and my would be mother in-law. Above all I will do ask many of you asked and put everything in God's hand, all I want is to be happy and I know God will see me through in this difficult situation because I have alot of explanation to give lots of people why my marriage isn't happened as proposed.
Thanks everyone for all the contribution so far, I really appreciate.

Finally! God see u through

MarieSucre:


Op ilovemylife should also compare this; if they get married and he continues cheating and contracts an STD which he passes onto her, which of them will able to pay for her STD tablets and if it goes as far as HIV, apt for her retroviral drugs and also fund all the healthy foods and supplementary vitamins from high-class hospitals she'll have to be taking to stay alive.
Find honest answers to these questions then compare it to your situation the rest is up to you.

Let's not think the lady herself is a saint

Rencent:


I think u are taking the wrong step, but it's ur life anyway

Na una advice am to put it on hold or break up sef, na una still dey tell her she is taking the wrong step nawa oh
OP whatever decision you take be strong my dear, I dey fell your pains. Dont worry everything is gonna be alright it might not be now but it will eventually.
I pray God will restored peace and happiness in your Union.

Hmmm not forget to always use holy ghost fire on the other lady, lemme run away before some people will chop off my head

darkenedrebel:



Marriages nowadays are what people lunge toward when the barrenness of loneliness has hit the psychological ceiling; others principally for baby-making; some for around-the-clock come-at-able sëx; and others, like I eventually would, do so to keep appearances - call it a high-fallutin dance to the constrictive tunes of superannuated societal injunctions.



Prithee, can you capitulate some necessary and red-carpet steps you think would prove effectual in subsiding this wave of madness that's leaving modern-day marriages tempest-tossed?.

Today you'll hear about Ronda Shonke, tomorrow you'll hear about Tee Billz. All these kain stories dey discourage we younglings o. Abi make I kuku become Reverend Father?

Yeah, that's true. Most people marry now cos the Society expects it. Even when they know right from courtship their partner isn't right for them, but the pressure to settle down at a particular time or age pushes them to make the wrong choices. Take the OP for example, she is devastated about having a fiance that cheats with an acquittance even few months to the wedding. If she is someone that can't cope with cheating (not easy to cope with), keeps quiet hoping he'll change after marriage and the guy doesn't, then there will be problem, we might just hear about another woman who killed her husband or she lives her life in misery or whatever feeling she has for him dies a natural death while they live together for other reasons or we have another divorce case in town. People tend to marry more for the wrong reasons.



Lolz, I'm.not all experienced and all about marriage issues, but my stand has always been court with your eyes open, of course your brain and ask God for guidance (if you believe). A lot of signs are usually there during courtship which some people overlook for whatever reasons and it ends up coming up to bite them in the butt. I don't understand why a woman would marry someone that had been beating her before marriage or a man with short fused temper would marry a quarrelsome woman. What you won't take or stand during marriage, you reject it during courtship and if the person is not willing to change, move to someone else, not hoping the person will change after marriage, the probability is high the person won't.

Compatibility is important, it's not easy for two people from two different back grounds to come and live together for life or for whatever period they were able to manage themselves. It takes work and selflessness.

So after accepting to see each other as one, the commitment to make things work must be strong. Each party must be ready to play their part to make things work.When there is commitment, they'll find it easier to tackle their issues. Communication is very important.
Then, the couple should keep their affairs private although one shouldn't suffer in silence in a case of a toxic relationship or issues they can't seem to resolve.


Don't let me bore you, the most important steps to me, should be during courtship, then teamwork in marriage.



Lolz, abi o. It's highly discouraging, marriage is losing all those sparkles it had.

Lol, yinmu,Reverend father indeed. Go and marry jo

darkenedrebel:



Marriages nowadays are what people lunge toward when the barrenness of loneliness has hit the psychological ceiling; others principally for baby-making; some for around-the-clock come-at-able sëx; and others, like I eventually would, do so to keep appearances - call it a high-fallutin dance to the constrictive tunes of superannuated societal injunctions.



Prithee, can you capitulate some necessary and red-carpet steps you think would prove effectual in subsiding this wave of madness that's leaving modern-day marriages tempest-tossed?.

Today you'll hear about Ronda Shonke, tomorrow you'll hear about Tee Billz. All these kain stories dey discourage we younglings o. Abi make I kuku become Reverend Father?

Yeah, that's true. Most people marry now cos the Society expects it. Even when they know right from courtship their partner isn't right for them, but the pressure to settle down at a particular time or age pushes them to make the wrong choices. Take the OP for example, she is devastated about having a fiance that cheats with an acquittance even few months to the wedding. If she is someone that can't cope with cheating (not easy to cope with), keeps quiet hoping he'll change after marriage and the guy doesn't, then there will be problem, we might just hear about another woman who killed her husband or she lives her life in misery or whatever feeling she has for him dies a natural death while they live together for other reasons or we have another divorce case in town. People tend to marry more for the wrong reasons.



Lolz, I'm.not all experienced and all about marriage issues, but my stand has always been court with your eyes open, of course your brain and ask God for guidance (if you believe). A lot of signs are usually there during courtship which some people overlook for whatever reasons and it ends up coming up to bite them in the butt. I don't understand why a woman would marry someone that had been beating her before marriage or a man with short fused temper would marry a quarrelsome woman. What you won't take or stand during marriage, you reject it during courtship and if the person is not willing to change, move to someone else, not hoping the person will change after marriage, the probability is high the person won't.

Compatibility is important, it's not easy for two people from two different back grounds to come and live together for life or for whatever period they were able to manage themselves. It takes work and selflessness.

So after accepting to see each other as one, the commitment to make things work must be strong. Each party must be ready to play their part to make things work.When there is commitment, they'll find it easier to tackle their issues. Communication is very important.
Then, the couple should keep their affairs private although one shouldn't suffer in silence in a case of a toxic relationship or issues they can't seem to resolve.


Don't let me bore you, the most important steps to me, should be during courtship, then teamwork in marriage.



Lolz, abi o. It's highly discouraging, marriage is losing all those sparkles it had.

Lol, yinmu,Reverend father indeed. Go and marry jo

ilovemylife:
Good morning everyone, I can't really go through all the mentions but like some of you advice, after work yesterday I drove them to where he is staying to see him because he too has noticed I am not in my best frame of mind and he has been asking me what's wrong with me. We have a long talk about these issues, he was surprise how I get to know, from that to ashamed of himself, and he starting apologizing I told him to say I was hurt will be an understatement and after that I told him what I wanted and this was it, I want a break from this relationship, our traditional wedding put on hold for now because I needed to clear my head and again for him to really think it through and know exactly what he really wanted and if at the end of everything he still want me and I am also ready to continue, then he should cut all ties with any female he has anything to do with. My decision didn't go down well with him, he keeping telling me he doesn't want the break, he doesn't want out traditional wedding put on hold, he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, he will do what I wanted from today.
But my mind is already made up and I stand by what I said, he knows my stand on cheating, I left my previous relationship because of that! Even as I typed this I can't still start the tears from flowing, this morning I am going to see my mum and explain things you her and I pray she will take everything calmly then my siblings and my would be mother in-law. Above all I will do ask many of you asked and put everything in God's hand, all I want is to be happy and I know God will see me through in this difficult situation because I have alot of explanation to give lots of people why my marriage isn't happened as proposed.
Thanks everyone for all the contribution so far, I really appreciate.

All the best sis. Don't worry, be strong, everything will fall into place. You made the right decision.