This is serious wallai

henriettanenye:
You see a very good girl; deep within, you know she is good
and should be taken home to mama. But she is not as flashy
as your babes. She is not a girl-about-town. She is not from a
rich background.
That man is godly, decent, doesn't sleep in night clubs, has a
great vision for his future, focused in his career, loves to cook
and stay close to his family. But he's not as stylish as you
want 'em. He doesn't have that six-pack and broad shoulders.
Now, you have decided to look elsewhere. You must marry
someone who will stay above your friends' wives when it
comes to beauty and style. Her legs must be straight, lips
thick, light-skinned (more reasons our black beauties are
going for acid bath and pouring chemicals they call cream on
their body), and with good curves. You must be able to flaunt
him before friends. He must have some good rides and be
able to sponsor vacations...even if he gives you black eyes
on weekly basis.
The things that would eventually matter don't matter now.
Don't worry, I hope those friends will be there when you start
seeing that hell you want to see. It's good to admire outward
beauty, but there is more to marriage than outward beauty. A
beautiful woman is more beautiful inside and in the home.
You are after his height, bank account, Queen's English, and
broad shoulders today; there is more to a man than all those
things you are after.
Go for what matters. Don't join the group of men/women
crying "all women/men are bad". God has given you the signs
today...

This is for everyone

Deep.

She has been giving you money in six figures severally, and you pocketed them and I take it that your dad whom you say will object to the marriage knew nothing about the money, abi. Boy you are very wicked. Ask yourself a simple question: how will you feel if that happens to your sister or daughter. Now you have become Mr. Trump, you want us to be civil in responding to your crab while deep down, you are just an ape crawling in human shade. You must have lost your mind. When you were egging her on, taking her hard earned money in six figures severally and also fucking her, you did not know she was older than you, not flashy enough, none talkative, none "naggish", none cantankerous, (since that is what you want in a wife), extrovert, not your type and all those other unprintable crap oozing out of your smelly, rotten and odorous mouth. I will join her in prayers if you leave.

kinggogo:
My God SMH 4 op

So in d nutshell, u need an extrovert, d happening gal, chick n classy babe dah wen u talk 1, she don spit 100, not d kul headed kinda gal. I av plenty tinz to say buh since u said kip it civil i'd jst kip it short

Be careful of what u wish 4 cuz u myt jst get it. D devil u knw is beta dan d angel u don't.

Gudluck

no mind the op. We dey pray for this type of women everyday and you are here yarning thrash.

... So, you need a girl that is hot and an extrovert ko? ......no worry, keep looking for what will land you inside wahala.

... Meanwhile, Op give me her number since you no luv am.

bro I waz in ur shoes sum months back...letting her know ma luv waz nt real wasn't easy....bt she got sum signs sha....I knew she cried all nite...bt I told her on tyme...so if u knw u dnt love her... make her understand if @ all she wants to...wish u d bst

Captainbells:
She dresses moderately but you prefer hot ladies? Instagram big girls abi?

The girls seems like the old fashioned kinda girl any man would love to have as a better half
She is independent, has a stable career path and very endearing!
She deserves better and you are not even good enough.

With all those GOOD qualities, she clocked 35 without at least one person who deserves her coming her way? I can't help but wonder.

Ishilove:

You're quite a wicked fellow, aren't you? You know you don't love her yet you have been collecting money from her. You say you don't love her yet you have given her the impression that your relationship is heading somewhere, hence her mindset. Even if she has being deliberately ignoring all the signs, you failed to define your relationship with her seeing that time is no longer on her side and now the poor lady thinks your relationship is heading to the altar.

Mr Man you're an evil time waster. Ladies ought to pray against men like you.

Do whatever you want to do but don't marry her and make her life miserable. She deserves a better man than you.

She's 35-36 years now, and she still hasn't found that better man she deserves, even when time was on her side. Makes me kinda wonder...

Never marry out of pity no matter what. You say she deliberately refuses to be suggestive just so she can let u have ur way always. I see she's desperate to keep u. Feelings more often than not go unrexiprocated. It is no crime if u have no feelings for her. Never force yourself to.

However, you did wrongly by taking that much money from her without at least defining your relationship from the start. Being a woman, (supposedly in desperate need of a husband) even ur careless acts of kindness is interpreted to be a sign of unimaginable love.

Most definitely, you will break her heart. Kindly do it quick, as time isn't on her side anymore. As for the qualities you look out for in a woman, they aren't bad at all. God created those ones too. That's why you crave for them. I actually prefer the introverts. (I would say I actually prefer the woman whose heart you'll inevitably break) Only the age thing can make me refrain.

So OP, I guess you should also start being generous and supportive to her with 6 digits as well. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. But never forget that "on the day the gods have destined for the monkey to die, all the tress in the forest become slippery."

omamush:
oga its clear u don't love this lady from all you stated above... u mentioned her good qualities and all but still you don't love her Na, so why are u still with her..
see your age difference sef, please leave the poor lady alone don't waste more of her time she is not getting younger.

I appreciate

kinggogo:
My God SMH 4 op

So in d nutshell, u need an extrovert, d happening gal, chick n classy babe dah wen u talk 1, she don spit 100, not d kul headed kinda gal. I av plenty tinz to say buh since u said kip it civil i'd jst kip it short

Be careful of what u wish 4 cuz u myt jst get it. D devil u knw is beta dan d angel u don't.

Gudluck

I don't know how to put it so u understand my point but it's not how you see it

Captainbells:
She dresses moderately but you prefer hot ladies? Instagram big girls abi?

The girls seems like the old fashioned kinda girl any man would love to have as a better half
She is independent, has a stable career path and very endearing!
She deserves better and you are not even good enough.

very mouthed, thanks anyway

Ishilove:

You're quite a wicked fellow, aren't you? You know you don't love her yet you have been collecting money from her. You say you don't love her yet you have given her the impression that your relationship is heading somewhere, hence her mindset. Even if she has being deliberately ignoring all the signs, you failed to define your relationship with her seeing that time is no longer on her side and now the poor lady thinks your relationship is heading to the altar.

Mr Man you're an evil time waster. Ladies ought to pray against men like you.

Do whatever you want to do but don't marry her and make her life miserable. She deserves a better man than you.

It wasn't so from the beginning and I am a kind person and not evil please, remember I said we have been together since last year and all these while I was trying to build her up to my taste but she doesn't like changes as it is.
I where the shoe and I know where it pinches me.... Thanks

JuanDeDios:
There are two things. Whether anything is wrong with the lady. What you want. There nothing wrong with her. Age, introversion, etc, are nonsense. They are not all that important. At least, there is nothing you can't sort out - "Baby, you know, it'd really be great if you contribute your ideas more to issues in this relationship." But, unfortunately, she isn't what you want. This is something I can relate with since the women I have wanted most are not necessarily the ones with the best characters. You have wronged her by eating her money knowing she isn't your "type". Unfortunately, that is common these days, as most people around here have no values, morals or self-respect.

What you should do? Only you can decide that. But one sure thing is to call it quits with her and stop wasting her time. If she's prone to drama she may go naked at midnight and lay curses on you for eating her six digits and wasting her time. I don't know whether such things work or not, but you have to countenance the possibility; after all, you may have drawn the rain with your own hands. Or you can take another good look at her, think of what attracted you to her, focus on her good qualities and marry her. Seeing how selfish you are, I know you're likely to choose the first option.

Good luck.

There is no time I said I won't marry her, people say love grows with time and I believe that. What I am saying is if I should work more on her to change some of these things that I am not cool with b4 the marriage or probably call it quit if there is no possibility changes

ted1741:
She has been giving you money in six figures severally, and you pocketed them and I take it that your dad whom you say will object to the marriage knew nothing about the money, abi. Boy you are very wicked. Ask yourself a simple question: how will you feel if that happens to your sister or daughter. Now you have become Mr. Trump, you want us to be civil in responding to your crab while deep down, you are just an ape crawling in human shade. You must have lost your mind. When you were egging her on, taking her hard earned money in six figures severally and also fucking her, you did not know she was older than you, not flashy enough, none talkative, none "naggish", none cantankerous, (since that is what you want in a wife), extrovert, not your type and all those other unprintable crap oozing out of your smelly, rotten and odorous mouth. I will join her in prayers if you leave.

You don't know how I feel like seriously, I have never hurt any lady in my life and I don't intend hurting this one. But remember this lady and I will live together forever and I can't imagine myself divorcing someday after marriage, this is why I brought it here as a big family to seek advice and the way forward.
I knew you guys will capitalise on some of my points up there but I am happy I stated it all just the way it is.
Thanks

jezuzboi:
Never marry out of pity no matter what. You say she deliberately refuses to be suggestive just so she can let u have ur way always. I see she's desperate to keep u. Feelings more often than not go unrexiprocated. It is no crime if u have no feelings for her. Never force yourself to.

However, you did wrongly by taking that much money from her without at least defining your relationship from the start. Being a woman, (supposedly in desperate need of a husband) even ur careless acts of kindness is interpreted to be a sign of unimaginable love.

Most definitely, you will break her heart. Kindly do it quick, as time isn't on her side anymore. As for the qualities you look out for in a woman, they aren't bad at all. God created those ones too. That's why you crave for them. I actually prefer the introverts. (I would say I actually prefer the woman whose heart you'll inevitably break) Only the age thing can make me refrain.

So OP, I guess you should also start being generous and supportive to her with 6 digits as well. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. But never forget that "on the day the gods have destined for the monkey to die, all the tress in the forest become slippery."

Thanks for your response, at least you see it differently. I really appreciate you input and please note that I am reciprocating her generosity too.

U said u like hot ladies, the only thing I know that is hot is fire oh ( hell fire ) to be precise

sagitariusbaby:


It wasn't so from the beginning and I am a kind person and not evil please, remember I said we have been together since last year and all these while I was trying to build her up to my taste but she doesn't like changes as it is.
I where the shoe and I know where it pinches me.... Thanks

Never ever think you can change a person who doesn't want to be changed. Many times whatever change you see is temporary before they go back to being themselves. She is naturally a conservative person but you are trying to make her into what she isn't: 'a wild dresser'.

Unfortunately you led her on by failing to define your relationship. A woman in her mid-30s doesn't have time for games, but you're more interested in changing her looks. You want to change her, but you don't want to change FOR her. Immaturity and selfishness on your part? Very likely.

Why in God's name did you date a woman older than you are when you know your family won't accept her?

So many 'why's.

You're not the man for her. Let her go and don't cause her further misery.

Op abeg drop her contact. This is the kind of lady my brother has been looking for... in fact they within same age range

Fucq boy!!! Why were you leading her on nd collecting all her money? Abi na now day break for your eyes??

ITS BETTER YOU CALL HER AND TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL MAY BE YOU MIGHT FIND A SOLUTION THERE

sagitariusbaby:


There is no time I said I won't marry her, people say love grows with time and I believe that. What I am saying is if I should work more on her to change some of these things that I am not cool with b4 the marriage or probably call it quit if there is no possibility changes

Calling it quits = not marrying her, right? So that is one of the options you're considering. Yes, you can work on changing some things about her - like communicating better with you and participating in decision-making. Some things, you can't - like making her a party girl. There isn't much wrong with her - you know that. The real problem is she just isn't your dream woman. Reality. Like I said, I can relate with this, although I would have tried to avoid starting anything serious with her or taking things very far when faced with this situation. But you started it and went in, possibly because you just needed the money given the situation you were facing. And now you have a situation on your hands.

All the best from a fellow Saggitarian.

Ishilove:

You're quite a wicked fellow, aren't you? You know you don't love her yet you have been collecting money from her. You say you don't love her yet you have given her the impression that your relationship is heading somewhere, hence her mindset. Even if she has being deliberately ignoring all the signs, you failed to define your relationship with her seeing that time is no longer on her side and now the poor lady thinks your relationship is heading to the altar.

Mr Man you're an evil time waster. Ladies ought to pray against men like you.

Do whatever you want to do but don't marry her and make her life miserable. She deserves a better man than you.

heheheheeeee.......this is exactly what girls do even when they know d relationship is heading no where....




And to u OP if I slap u eeeehhhm., na Angel Michael go separate us..... once u are going a relationship u must seek out whether u are compactable before collecting money., and mentioning I love u and u love me....

BTW how am I sure u have not blast in between her legs because it takes d restrain of powerful heavenly bodies to prevent youths of these days from BAMU BAMU

The heart of man.
How old are you again,31? Wow! SMH
Please kindly return ALL the money you collected from her.
Also pray for the spirit of confusion in every ramification to leave you for good.
If she is a genuinely good person, God will bless her with the very best.

Captainbells:
She dresses moderately but you prefer hot ladies? Instagram big girls abi?

The girls seems like the old fashioned kinda girl any man would love to have as a better half
She is independent, has a stable career path and very endearing!
She deserves better and you are not even good enough.

so much sense in your write up esp at the emboldened
the guy is not even good enough...the girl is supposed to complain and not the other way round...

after sending you 6 digit amount of Money. So now your problem is she's submissive? So you want woman that if you say 1 she go say 30 ba? God Men can be really mean. Delivery us ladies from such evil community of men.

Na only kids talks about love, what's love?? After all the things you mentioned. Go ahead and marry that lady and you will be glad you did. I see such lady and i will be talking about love?? Some people shaa

Maychang:
From experience, 2 extroverts dont blend well.... i dont wish to be in d ladies shoes sha ooo...

but id say age is just a number (no one shld eva tel me dis personally, id shoot ur brains)

Age is just a number #okbye

Astuteleader:
Na only kids talks about love, what's love?? After all the things you mentioned. Go ahead and marry that lady and you will be glad you did. I see such lady and i will be talking about love?? Some people shaa

Taken, thanks

tesla1125:
after sending you 6 digit amount of Money. So now your problem is she's submissive? So you want woman that if you say 1 she go say 30 ba? God Men can be really mean. Delivery us ladies from such evil community of men.

You guys are just so concerned about the money aspect, who says I don't also give to her? I added the part where she has given me money to highlight how open handed she is.
Never in those situations did I asked her to do that, she did it out of her own will. Anyway, thanks for contributing

Because she makes u have the say doesn't mean she cannot talk, she is trying to be submissive because of the age difference so a s for you not to think otherwise
U want her to dress hot?. She doesn't want to be toasted by other guys
Spend more time with her
Emotional state of a being is not constant

sagitariusbaby:
Good evening follow Nairalanders, I trust we all have a blessed day.

I am a 31 year old man, a graduate, descent, very hard working, a core gentleman and any lady's dream man in terms of physique. I have been working all my life even before going to school and I also worked to sponsor myself through the university so I have always depended on myself through life until I lost my job some few months back.

I met this lady who is about 5 years older than me last year through a friend who introduced me to her because my then relationship was about hitting the rock, it eventually did. I live in Abuja while this lady lives in Warri, we got along quickly, I visited her a couple of times just to know her better and I must say she is a nice person and a wife material. She has two registered companies that are doing very well and her family have been very supportive of our relationship part because we are from the same community and they all are waiting for us to announce our wedding date. She do go out of her way to make me happy especially now that I have lost my job, she has sent me money in six figures on several occasions in form of assistance, she indeed has a gud heart and very independent. I respect her a lot

My main issue now is that I don't love her not because she is not a nice person but because we operate on different levels entirely, while I am an extrovert she on the other hand is an introvert, she allows me to take decisions in almost all issues that I have concerns us when she is supposed to contribute and even suggest superior ideas, but I feel she is been over submissive just to please me and I so dislike this about her, I see it as a form of desperation to let me have my way always in the name of marriage, she dresses moderately but I like hot ladies, she is a university graduate but doesn't behave or act like one, she is the direct opposite of my kind of lady.

I have not introduce her to my family even though she has been disturbing me to, but she do talk with them on phone on regular basis and I strongly believe my dad and some of my siblings will be against our union because of the age difference and some other things.

My people, what do I do and how do I go about it because all she want now is marriage and nothing more. I don't want to hurt her, she has told me her life will collaps if I ever leave her. Please I need you advice, try to be civil about it I beg of you. Thanks

Mod please help me push it to the front page because it is very urgent

dude,
A woman will fall into one of the following categories

16 to 20, accidental union and vulnerable
21 to 26, independent minded and obnoxious
27 to 30, discreet and tactical
31 to 33, desperate explorer, vulnerable, tenacious
35 and above, deliberate hooker, zero boundary

your girl is already 36 if she is 5yr older than you. She is past desperate, she is no longer vulnerable, her walls are down but guess what.....you will need more than nairaland advisory to get out of this hook.

Let your lunatic side come out and give her a show of it once in a while. Na by hersef she go pick race!

My father will say don't smell what you don't have plans of eating. It saves everybody from a whole lot of stress.