₦airaland Forum

emperormossad:
Elyna do people 'use' others? For real?

Elesta:
Nawa oh in my entire life i havent come across this kind of self centered person n i dont pray to see.Na real wa.Hisses

sandraanakebe:
Why date her when you know she is not the type you would love to settle down with?

You started it, so finish it...But try to finish it well cos such ladies could be dangerous.

Outofsync:
What is self-centered in what he said now
He said he was dating the girl casually but ain't intrested anymore.
Marriage ain't by force and he said he didn't even mention marriage in the first place


Is comprehension an issue for you

rosalieene:
Probably she fell deeply in love with you and started imagining a future with you.
Don't blame her.

missyge:
if u dnt wana marry her den beeak up with her. The more ure tigeda d more she get d hope of u marryng her. By d way y dating smbdy u knw ure nt gonna marry? I dont blame her at all

Philpham:
OP u are very stoopi.d , after eating her puny u are letting her go. It shows u are among the 99% of irresponsible non-husband material in Nigeria.

People like you lack commitment, and eventually become serial cheaters in marriages.

I promise u , if you keep jumping from one woman to the other, u will never find a wife material and when u eventually do, she will cheat on you.

If it's me , I will break your head if you dump me. And I hope she does.

megareal:
You did right by telling her from the word go. She did wrong by agreeing and assuming she could later change your mind. You are not liable. She is an adult who agreed to your yeye conditions.

The earlier you get out, the better for you. But try with all your might to make it an easy breakup. If possible, let the fault be from her so you can avoid her wrath and still be friends.

alexialin:
No mind such guys. I wonder why the babe could not decipher that he's not the serious type. Such guys I smell them from afar and avoid them like plagues.
You can't come and waste my time. Smhhh.
He should pray she's not diabolic, if not his future don set be that.

darlenese:
U have successfully used a girl, wasted her time and u are here talking rubbish .

When her puna was sweeting u , did u allow advise her to date other guys that the relationship was for fun only ?















Na thunder go fire that utr blorkors

darlenese:
Oga u go son gather enough STDs oooo

NotComplaining:
So now u sabi talk rights? The girl that doesnt have a dic*k is right-less abi?

Naija will continue carrying last in everything as long as ppl like you are allowed to breathe.

Funkybabee:
u better shut the hell out of your mouth, pls mind you am not in mood.what did I said that is wrong ? fooling and playing with someone heart and I said same thing will come back to him is that a curse. I don't think you know what love feeling really his because if so u won't be saying this nut!!! don't play or friend with who u know u won't marry simple

emperormossad:
Legend of the decipherer.

2dugged:
People self, this is why it's better to ask for terms and conditions of a relationship before going into it to avoid stories that touch,by the way she seems like someone above 25 and you expect her to date without having marriage in sight?, the op sounds wicked,these are the the time wasters we keep advising ladies to stay away from

Harbosede02:
did you even read what she wrote?? Dating someone without having d mind set of marriage with them is a total waste of time....relationships is a preliminary stage to marriage.....if its leads to marriage...fine bt if it doesnt...no shii


work on ur comprehension skill b4 attacking someone with insults next time.

Charlentine:
So here's the problem, I do love this lady to a degree, but I ain't going for that marriage stuff. Not yet, and definitely not with her. I told her my plans from the day we officially started dating and she was totally cool with it. only to suddenly go mafia and change everything and become super possessive and pester me for marriage after some months, in a "If u won't marry me then ENEMY mode activated!" kind of way. That's unfair na! I've not dated much but my last gf wasn't unreasonable na, she even loved me for being straightforward with her and we dated exclusively until I had to travel. Then i adviced her to move on with her life (tho it was a very hard decision cos she's an awesome person, beautiful too) but we're friends till date.


Anyway, so Im letting this lady go so she can find a proper husband, but I don't want her beef (she gets very hostile and vengeful whenever she feels slighted even for the best of reasons, no matter how much u try to reason with her) cos I still have some unfinished business with her and don't want her to ruin it. Shes the type that, if something isn't going her way then it is BAD no matter how great it has been. She has potential husbands (ex'es) and has quickly resorted to hooking up with one for marriage. I wish her well, but don't need the hostility now.


How does one deal with this? Wud it have been better to give her false hope, and then bail once I get my stuff out? Won't that be unfair to her? Are the majority of ladies selfish like this cos I always hear ladies cry "he jilted me bla bla bla"? because guys have learnt to be dishonest with them? Is there another way? Like Ive confessed, I haven't dated much, but I want to believe we don't all have to be bad.

prince3009:
Sp if i spot a "sheep" in and decide to walk down the aisle with her and in the course of the relationship find out she was actually a wolf in sheep clothing, you expect me to continue with the marraige plans?

emperormossad:
No, I expect her to be true to her words. If it's amala you want, ask for amala not garri. You will not die.

LordAdam16:
I think I have a valid point to make on this topic because I'm a moderate alexes. I'm not a complete alexes like this guy, but I'm a guy who reads and watch movies about love, but never gets it. Marriage sounds like a sh*tty arrangement (no offense to married folks), and I scoff when I see pre-wedding photos. I'm like this man laughing with glee with his wife-to-be could be her killer tomorrow. The majority of females in the US who die are killed by guys they're in a relationship with (as a gf or as a wife).

Alexithymia does have it's good sides, I'm a pragmatic humanist and a brutal realist. But it can be an awful curse in a sea of emotional no-holds-barred homo sapiens.

And that brings me to my main point. No matter how many times you tell a lady you don't want to marry her, it wouldn't stop her from falling in love and getting hostile when you remind her of your existing agreement. It doesn't matter if she's intelligent or dumb, a NASA scientist or a marketwoman, a 70 yr old or a 15 yr old, an introvert or an extrovert, a mel or a san.

Your ex was an exception not the rule.

And I'll know because I've NEVER being in a romantic relationship with anyone. I haven't dated anyone, and right now, wouldn't even if I had a gun to my head. Ladies, regardless of age, intelligence, or personality, are as fickle as the wind. They are only as reliable as a speck of dust in a hurricane. Which is evident by the fact that more than 80% of the ladies who read your account (most of them def educated), didn't even care to understand your position.

F*ck a lady more than once, and if you are cool, with good looks, and a bit of cash, she'll already be imagining her wedding night with you. You don't even have to date her. I know because it has happened to me severally. Before I said, you know what, f*ck this, I don't have the time, energy or will to pander to people whose self-confidence and decision-making ability are about the size of a pea.

Maybe it's the Nigerian factor, maybe it is a female thing. But I don't have reason to believe that it's either of those things. Marriage doesn't need to be a ceremony for the whites, so yeah the girl could ask you to just wife her on the road with an eligible clergyman, court person or JP on a lunch break. And clearly, the majority of males on this thread too have shown to not have simple comprehension abilities too.

Being honest and straightforward in all ramifications is worthless. That's why the Yoruba demons don't care. Convince her she's the only one and break her heart when you're done with her. Because whether you are honest with her from the start, she'll still see an expected end as a messy breakup. So, why bother yourself?

For me tho', I can't go through that hoop. Sounds like taking a flight from Lagos to London, then from London to Abuja, when I could just take a direct ticket from Lagos to Abuja. And I like to respect ladies even tho' they evidently don't respect themselves enough.

So, I'm not going to tell you what to do. You're an adult. But I'm going to tell you this for a fact.

Even if you gist a girl. Tell her there's no chance in hell that the relationship will end in marriage. And she agrees. Weeks or months down the line, she'll still fall in love (I don't know how to explain this, the closest I can get is that humans like to have what they can't get) and hope she can change your mind to marry her. And every time you tell her no (basically reiterating what you've told her since day 1), you'll just make her more desperate and hostile. And God help you the day she snaps. She could destroy your house or worse maim/kill you (whether it's an acid or a knife to the chest).

I'm incapable of loving a lady, so I don't NEED to maintain relationships whether platonic or romantic. It's physiologic, so I have it easy. For you and several other guys, all I can say is, be careful.

This is one instance where HONESTY IS A BAD POLICY THAT CAN POTENTIALLY RUIN YOUR LIFE. Unless you find an exceptionally lady, which as you've probably figured out is rare and there's no way of knowing if she'll be an exception before you go all in.



There is a huge difference between what people read and what they understand. It is actually a phenomenon. Read this BBC future article on the spread of ignorance. That article is just a foundation.

The majority of humans are zombies. I don't mean post-apocalyptic zombies in the movies. I mean healthy, educated zombies with jobs and families. And politicians, social engineers, advertisers, and marketers know this is the world's best kept secret.

The person you quoted def read the OP, but s/he comprehended something different. What s/he read was interpreted differently in her brain.

And even if it was interpreted correctly, it doesn't stop s/he from still having a distorted view point. It could very well be that s/he doesn't care if the OP said it pointedly clear that he wasn't interested in marriage from the get-go. S/he is probably disillusioned that it is not possible for anyone to say that or for anyone to really mean that, and that maybe it was a ploy by the OP to eat his cake and have it. And that the lady in the OP was manipulated, basically a victim of circumstance (despite her being a full healthy and educated adult capable of even co-managing a business with the OP).

The human brain is a marvel really, a bloody sick twisted marvel.

To your other post about ladies virtually painting something bad despite several good references simply because they did not have her way, that is another FACT. Have you looked at the divorce stats in the Western world? Or the near divorces that people call "happy marriages" in Nigeria with regular third-party mediation.

Most ladies want to have their way or raise hell. They'd change the narrative, do anything humanly possible to make sure they f*ck you over if you don't let them have their way. And if that includes tagging a beautiful relationship with terrific history as a mistake on a whim, then so be it.

There are exceptions, but everyone has a limit. A girl who you think is understanding you may just be piling it all up, waiting for that perfect moment to pounce on you with the favorite--I've been managing... (don't need to finish it, you get the point).

Seriously, you look at the female gender and if you're a creationist, you ask the question, why did God even bother? Like did Adam complain that he was lonely? There are animals that can reproduce without mating. So the reproduction reason does not fly. God created women to f*ck men up, and they've done a pretty good job, starting from the Apple.

-Lord

TheGreatIYANU:
I closed your thread after reading not wanting to reply, but for posterity sake and other guys out there who date girls 'for fun', you are a FOOL if you engage another human being emotionally only to dump her along the way.
My friend if it was your plan from the start to dump her as soon as you get what you wanted (whatever it is) YOU ARE A BIG FOOL!
Seun can ban me now.
Relationships are meant to be HONOURED! Every type of relationship is meant to be honoured and if you cannot honour a relationship that is supposed to lead to a final destination, again, YOU ARE A FOOL!
You are the type of guys who make ladies unecessarily insecure and leave wounds in their hearts, the brunts of which their husbands and children will deal with in the future.
My guy, once again, with the Spirit of God upon me, I tell you this, YOU ARE A FOOL! It is not an insult, it is a FACT.
REPENT!

Giel:
its really sad and shocking to me to see some of the responses on this thread. I mean for God's sake the guy told u, am not going to marry u, and u agreed to date him, now all of a sudden, he is a fool, he is evil, he deserves to be beaten, I mean what didn't I read? for being honest?? while u the bloody liar, who agreed to date him is now a '''victim''.
at least he told u d truth. he gave u a choice. tomorrow we ladies say we want a guy who is honest, who is good, kind, thoughtful. but when we see them. smh..
am going to have to read up on what u mentioned about the spread of ignorance, cause I can see it happens a lot.
u made some good points up there however ur last part made me sad, is that how u see all women. u don't see any good in them that u wonder why we were created?? if I'm misunderstanding ur words please let me know. I've seen some of ur posts and I like the way u reason so I would like to know.

Berbierklaus:
May your days be long.

@ the paranoid logical people up there,y'all fools. Keep reiterating he told her jack up and down the thread like the hediots that you are.
I wish the lady is diabolical,so by the time she makes you as useless as a used tissue, you will think twice before walking up to a woman.

FOOLS

elyna:
in this case someone is being used, the op didn't tell the full story im sure, business - relationship but no marriage how does it sound to you?

alexialin:


Yes o

ToriBlue:
I don't know why guys keep dating women they can't marry. Its sheer wickedness.

2dugged:
That's why the first part of my comment is there, the truth is there are time wasters out there, most guys guys are just looking for who to warm their beds without any commitment,and they are willing to put up any charade to achieve their aim, that's why I even blame the lady for not asking for the terms and conditions before investing her time and emotions

emperormossad:
Most guys? You've actually met most guys had or 2 things to do with them and can reasonably conclude that all they want is pillow on their bed? Ladies...

emperormossad:
No one is used. They agreed to date. Mutual. He said he isn't in for marriage and she's down with it. Mutual. Whether he bleeped her once or a million times. Mutual. She turns around and demands for something she knows wasn't part of the 'deal'. Now that's called breach of contract. How does that sound like missus?