₦airaland Forum

emperormossad:
Hope your day was awesome?

it was good, I'm guessing urs was too since u clearly woke up in a good mood today

2dugged:
I get your point, I kind of blame the lady too, but the fact is the op is a time waster,you are dating a lady and even do business together, yet you don't see yourself settling down with her?, so what does that make you?, and yes,you like writing long epistles which are sometimes unnecessary, when just 5 lines would have passed the message better,I bet you will be talkative too

It makes you business partners, not husband and wife. Clear?

horciglowri:
As I am married nkor...
Oya bye bye

Who dash you wedding ring?

Charlentine:
What you FAIL to understand is that some of us don't hold sex in such high esteem as ya'll do. I mean, why would I go through the stress of actually DATING a person for sex when I can just have tons of run-ins? Doesn't make any sense. Sex is the least of reasons I'd date a girl.

Think of it this way, two people meet, they discover that they can both add great value to each-other's lives so they decide to hook up. They have an agreement to keep it simple, and yes, they do add great value to one another and both make good progress in their respective lives. The only snag is that, one of them suddenly decides she wants to marry the other. Wahala don start! The other says, no this isn't what we agreed. I knew I wasn't ready for marriage now thats why Ive made it very clear from the onset. The first then takes it personal! Do you get the bigger picture now? It was a very very responsible and productive relationship.

This is what DATING literally means:

A form of Romantic Courtship typically between two individuals with the aim of assessing the others suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse.

Where not enough grounds were found for intimacy, it could result in mere friendship or no relationship at all.
Often times it ends in intimate relationship or marriage..
Now i really don't know if the meaning has changed or who changed it.

If two people meet and discover that they can both add great value to each-other's lives, why not just be friends than go DATING?.

In as much as you've made me understand the idea of dating her wasn't for sex(i appreciate that),go the extra mile with me by telling me the relationship you had with her was devoid of sex! for me to fully appreciate your stance.

To me it seems the girl was very much in order.
Think of it this way, you both had an agreement for there to be no commitments as regards marriage but while dating her SHE GAVE YOU HER ALL, HER VERY BEST, believing it could make you change your mind.

I still believe we shouldn't go dating till we are ready for commitments. Just make friends and don't date. That remains my candid opinion.
.
Thank you.

emperormossad:
It makes you business partners, not husband and wife. Clear?

never mix business with pleasure, comprende?

TheGreatIYANU:
Hey men,

I understand you're trying to be all smart and shii, but this is REALITY. Knowledge alone does not make up reality. It constitutes less than 20% of Life's composite so judging this case based on Head Knowledge alone is WRONG.

There are so many realities in our world today and among the top 3 lies this FACT -
WOMEN ARE FICKLE.

Thanks God you believe in the creation story. There is an OBVIOUS reason the Serpent did not meet Adam. He met Eve and it was not a mistake. Some say it is the very strength of their intelligence, some say it is their bio-genetic makeup but whatever and wherever we want to place it, Women are not as impregnable as men.

I did a study on the rise of Scam emails from Africa to the West. More than 60% of the victims are WOMEN. They fall for all kinds of scams - financial, relationship, you name it.

Have you seen or heard of a Man who fell for a relationship scam? If there are any such cases, they are but a handful and can never be compared to the plethora of western ladies, dolling out thousands of dollars to an 'African Prince'.

This is WHO THEY ARE. It is the way the Creator MADE THEM and just like Breasts, you cannot take it away from them.

I am irritated at how the op plays the victim card when in fact, he is the INITIATOR.

God built women to keep men company (Marriage). Jesus came and cemented it with a One Man, One Woman policy (Monogamy).

Invariably, except you are family, colleagues, neighbours, or friends, every man-woman relationship SHOULD end in a UNION. This is an innate expectation, hardwired to the psychological makeup of EVERY WOMAN. (I'm Married. I know!)

The Op is obviously ignorant of this.

If you do not desire a UNION, don't relate INTIMATELY with a WOMAN!

If you are not ready for Marriage, don't relate INTIMATELY with a WOMAN!

If you're not ready for Children, don't relate INTIMATELY with a WOMAN! (Don't come and cry to us that you told your wife you don't want a kid. Are you a FOOL? Which woman does not want children? Your aunty? Your long lost gehfriend? She is the one-in-a-million EXEMPTION.)

Guys WISE UP! If you are not ready for WOMAN, leave WOMAN alone!

Don't tell us what to do. It's no of your business. Live your own life. We'll live ours.

My hunny bunny oo, and morova sef which 1 is ur own is it ur marriage

emperormossad:
Who dash you wedding ring?

Giel:
it was good, I'm guessing urs was too since u clearly woke up in a good mood today

Not so good.

emperormossad:
Is it your father that wrote that verse? Abeg go sidon for gutter!

I can see that you are a bitter young man. I'm sorry you are bitter. Is it the economy? Your parents? You've not gained admission?

Instead of exhibiting foolery on Social Media, how 'bout you kneel down and pray. He may answer you, you never know.

Peace

2dugged:
never mix business with pleasure, comprende?

My deae, even Jesus turned water to wine. It is mixable

horciglowri:
My hunny bunny oo, and morova sef which 1 is ur own is it ur marriage

It is my own oo. Hahahahaha

Let my husband catch u oo, inshot lemme call him papa lala come nd c sumbori oo

emperormossad:
It is my own oo. Hahahahaha

TheGreatIYANU:
I can see that you are a bitter young man. I'm sorry you are bitter. Is it the economy? Your parents? You've not gained admission?

Instead of exhibiting foolery on Social Media, how 'bout you kneel down and pray. He may answer you, you never know.

Peace

Yes I gained admission, to your father's mechanic workshop.

horciglowri:
Let my husband catch u oo, inshot lemme call him papa lala come nd c sumbori oo

His gun does not have bullet

moralistic:
like accepting her proposal ?

Lolzz . Brilliant, bro, brilliant!

Besides ur potentially repulsive sarcasm (which, by the way, ure reading the situation upside down, Leonardo Da'vinci! ), I'm really impressed by ur witty response. On point!

LordAdam16:
I think I have a valid point to make on this topic because I'm a moderate alexes. I'm not a complete alexes like this guy, but I'm a guy who reads and watch movies about love, but never gets it. Marriage sounds like a sh*tty arrangement (no offense to married folks), and I scoff when I see pre-wedding photos. I'm like this man laughing with glee with his wife-to-be could be her killer tomorrow. The majority of females in the US who die are killed by guys they're in a relationship with (as a gf or as a wife).

Alexithymia does have it's good sides, I'm a pragmatic humanist and a brutal realist. But it can be an awful curse in a sea of emotional no-holds-barred homo sapiens.

And that brings me to my main point. No matter how many times you tell a lady you don't want to marry her, it wouldn't stop her from falling in love and getting hostile when you remind her of your existing agreement. It doesn't matter if she's intelligent or dumb, a NASA scientist or a marketwoman, a 70 yr old or a 15 yr old, an introvert or an extrovert, a mel or a san.

Your ex was an exception not the rule.

And I'll know because I've NEVER being in a romantic relationship with anyone. I haven't dated anyone, and right now, wouldn't even if I had a gun to my head. Ladies, regardless of age, intelligence, or personality, are as fickle as the wind. They are only as reliable as a speck of dust in a hurricane. Which is evident by the fact that more than 80% of the ladies who read your account (most of them def educated), didn't even care to understand your position.

F*ck a lady more than once, and if you are cool, with good looks, and a bit of cash, she'll already be imagining her wedding night with you. You don't even have to date her. I know because it has happened to me severally. Before I said, you know what, f*ck this, I don't have the time, energy or will to pander to people whose self-confidence and decision-making ability are about the size of a pea.

Maybe it's the Nigerian factor, maybe it is a female thing. But I don't have reason to believe that it's either of those things. Marriage doesn't need to be a ceremony for the whites, so yeah the girl could ask you to just wife her on the road with an eligible clergyman, court person or JP on a lunch break. And clearly, the majority of males on this thread too have shown to not have simple comprehension abilities too.

Being honest and straightforward in all ramifications is worthless. That's why the Yoruba demons don't care. Convince her she's the only one and break her heart when you're done with her. Because whether you are honest with her from the start, she'll still see an expected end as a messy breakup. So, why bother yourself?

For me tho', I can't go through that hoop. Sounds like taking a flight from Lagos to London, then from London to Abuja, when I could just take a direct ticket from Lagos to Abuja. And I like to respect ladies even tho' they evidently don't respect themselves enough.

So, I'm not going to tell you what to do. You're an adult. But I'm going to tell you this for a fact.

Even if you gist a girl. Tell her there's no chance in hell that the relationship will end in marriage. And she agrees. Weeks or months down the line, she'll still fall in love (I don't know how to explain this, the closest I can get is that humans like to have what they can't get) and hope she can change your mind to marry her. And every time you tell her no (basically reiterating what you've told her since day 1), you'll just make her more desperate and hostile. And God help you the day she snaps. She could destroy your house or worse maim/kill you (whether it's an acid or a knife to the chest).

I'm incapable of loving a lady, so I don't NEED to maintain relationships whether platonic or romantic. It's physiologic, so I have it easy. For you and several other guys, all I can say is, be careful.

This is one instance where HONESTY IS A BAD POLICY THAT CAN POTENTIALLY RUIN YOUR LIFE. Unless you find an exceptionally lady, which as you've probably figured out is rare and there's no way of knowing if she'll be an exception before you go all in.



There is a huge difference between what people read and what they understand. It is actually a phenomenon. Read this BBC future article on the spread of ignorance. That article is just a foundation.

The majority of humans are zombies. I don't mean post-apocalyptic zombies in the movies. I mean healthy, educated zombies with jobs and families. And politicians, social engineers, advertisers, and marketers know this is the world's best kept secret.

The person you quoted def read the OP, but s/he comprehended something different. What s/he read was interpreted differently in her brain.

And even if it was interpreted correctly, it doesn't stop s/he from still having a distorted view point. It could very well be that s/he doesn't care if the OP said it pointedly clear that he wasn't interested in marriage from the get-go. S/he is probably disillusioned that it is not possible for anyone to say that or for anyone to really mean that, and that maybe it was a ploy by the OP to eat his cake and have it. And that the lady in the OP was manipulated, basically a victim of circumstance (despite her being a full healthy and educated adult capable of even co-managing a business with the OP).

The human brain is a marvel really, a bloody sick twisted marvel.

To your other post about ladies virtually painting something bad despite several good references simply because they did not have her way, that is another FACT. Have you looked at the divorce stats in the Western world? Or the near divorces that people call "happy marriages" in Nigeria with regular third-party mediation.

Most ladies want to have their way or raise hell. They'd change the narrative, do anything humanly possible to make sure they f*ck you over if you don't let them have their way. And if that includes tagging a beautiful relationship with terrific history as a mistake on a whim, then so be it.

There are exceptions, but everyone has a limit. A girl who you think is understanding you may just be piling it all up, waiting for that perfect moment to pounce on you with the favorite--I've been managing... (don't need to finish it, you get the point).

Seriously, you look at the female gender and if you're a creationist, you ask the question, why did God even bother? Like did Adam complain that he was lonely? There are animals that can reproduce without mating. So the reproduction reason does not fly. God created women to f*ck men up, and they've done a pretty good job, starting from the Apple.

-Lord

Just reading some post here and saw this....bro, we have a lot of ideologies in common. Tho I don't disregard the absolute female gender (as I have met exceptions) but I do find most things people crave rather pointless. I hope ure not an extremist tho. And if you're not I'd like that we talk better. Let me know if thats okay with u...

Hahaha na u tlk oo

emperormossad:
His gun does not have bullet

banio:
I guess I know the girl. Her name starts with ""

Lol. Wish I saw this earlier...to reply tho, lots of ladies' names start with D so it cud easily be a coincidence. But It IS a small world so I won't be surprised if u do. Just out of curiosity, can u say just one distinctive thing abt her so id know if ure on point? Also, this fellow u know, is it as a colleague, friend, ex, or extended family?

emperormossad:
To answer your question, no I'm not. I'm passionate cos I just wanna make things a little bit clear. The dude has received so much hate on a Friday morning I feel whatever beer he drinks tonight won't make him high cos of depression. Things changing ain't his fault. He simply reminded her of the original terms and condition. I just feel if he isn't down with the new status quo he should walk out of the whole thing. Unfinished business or not.

how exactly does it work with guys, how can someone date for months and not feel anything how's it possible, he's a professional dater, agreement or not he understands most women are weak willed shouldn't he be a bit considerate. no alcohol he takes would make him high you're right, he's too callous, i hope the girl possess a good heart else.

emperormossad:
I'm not doing so to anyone. Too busy for that.

Good.

elyna:
how exactly does it work with guys, how can someone date for months and not feel anything how's it possible, he's a professional dater, agreement or not he understands most women are weak willed shouldn't he be a bit considerate. no alcohol he takes would make him high you're right, he's too callous, i hope the girl possess a good heart else.

Must every feeling lead to marriage? Did he say he did not feel anything? Please read that post again.

emperormossad:
No need to educate him. Unemployment will do justice to that.

Touche.

-Lord

horciglowri:
Hahaha na u tlk oo

Trust me na. I know guns without 'bullets'.

horciglowri:
Hahaha na u tlk oo

How was your night?

Charlentine:
Just reading some post here and saw this....bro, we have a lot of ideologies in common. Tho I don't disregard the absolute female gender (as I have met exceptions) but I do find most things people crave rather pointless. I hope ure not an extremist tho. And if you're not I'd like that we talk better. Let me know if thats okay with u...

I wouldn't kno if I'm not an extremist.

I could be perfectly reasonable to one person and a nut job to another.

I'm sure I could make out some time to maintain a discussion over mail. My mail is in my sig.

-Lord

emperormossad:
Must every feeling lead to marriage? Did he say he did not feel anything? Please read that post again.

well to each his own, the lady in question put herself in a tight corner. the op should look for ways to deal with it, so as not to get hurt, God knows how i detest relationship issues.

emperormossad:
But I hope fuckboiz have not damaged my sweetheart.

Lol heavens forbid

They dey look face nah.

emperormossad:
I went oo. Not really work sha. A little bit complicated.

Oh ok.

[quote author=ToriBlue post=53991740]I don't know why guys keep dating women they can't marry. Its sheer wickedness.[/quote
sweeri is also dsame with d other gender, they keep hanging on a guy the know they 'll never marry so pls be objective sweeri.

SweetBoyFriend:

This is how to identify a dumb guy

Why can't you keep your mouth shut for once ??

Going around telling her you don't wanna marry her, how do you want her to act ?? You want her to Laugh and tell you "I don't think I'm the right one for you"

She's the smartest person on earth, she was acting like she loves you and want to marry you

The money and the dick was good, she did a great job using your little brain

Do you know how many niggas she bursted it open for when you where dying in love and calling her your girlfriend ??

You don't tell a girl that type of stuff even if you don't love her, just act on it, your behavior will drive her away

why are u blaming the guy, he made it known to her right from initial and she accept him i.e she is ok wit his term nd conditions.

Alryt

emperormossad:
Trust me na. I know guns without 'bullets'.

Fyn fyn
Nd urs

emperormossad:
How was your night?