[quote author=zinachidi post=54222752][/quote]Sounding like a toddler,you can't date your boss and continue working there after your hubby finds out and yet you expect to be married,she has to loose something to gain something here,she needs to resign like today or she should forget that marriage.

avril9:
Girls when you tell them not all that glitter is gold they just won't believe u, flings, relationships here and there can't you just be single till the right guy comes. You knew he was married still u went ahead and slept wit him,in your mind u didnt think it will come bk and hunt u. Its best you resign, give your husband time he will come around though at first he might not be so free with u, but if he has a big heart things will go bk to normal or even get better. The thing is aside the present situation he feels ashamed cos his friend and so many other people kn about you escapades,men hate such situations.

I think the girl ( yorubest ) is nt truthful even to us here, first she said it was just a fling, then she said they had sex twice, I think it's more than twice, in fact the reason she didn't tell him about his boss after promising nt to kip secret is because she is still fucking his boss. If she is ready to change she should quite her job period or else her husband may never trust her while she is working their.

[quote author=zinachidi post=54222752][/quote]

How? Stop deceiving her pls. The best option is to quit the job. Otherwise, her husband won't believe her again. The trust will never return. Assuming you started eating the best dish of yours and found a drop of excreta at the tip of the plate, what will happen to u?

chronique:
Sometimes, I wonder where most of you ladies, usually hide your brains in. Did I just hear you say "if the man is still being unreasonable
"? What the furcke is that? One more thing, there is no secret that should never be revealed. Get that into your skull right now. Any action that a second party is aware of, can not be erased except you intend to silence that person by killing him or her. And since you are not totally in control of the details of what transpired between the two of you, you can't say whether or not it would ever leak. Sex tapes occurs between two people who swear to themselves to keep it hushed up and at the end, it leaks out. Same thing happens with secrets. No secret is only known to just two people. There's always a third person who is aware of it.

Well in her write up, op said this happened in the past. I presume she has apologized and pleaded for forgiveness, thats the reason for introducing the word "unreasonable". If this happened in the past, then the husband only needs to do a further investigation to clarify that it is in the past and forgive this.

As per the no secret which should never be revealed, let me give a typical example. Lets say a high class prostitute suddenly becomes repentant. She can say she has slept with a 100 men , high profiled men. However, i do not expect her to divulge the names of these high profile men. Saying she has slept with a 100 men is more than enough. Beginning to reveal the names of these high profile men could make things complicated.

I have met people who were honest about their past and missed a potential partner who would never forgive.

Having said all this, please hope you are aware we live in a society that allows men actively and openly cheat. Men are praised when they cheat and people even help make excuses for them for cheating. Whereas a woman can be stoned and killed for same action.

I am in no way an advocate of cheating and i am typically someone who is actually not interested in anyone confessing their past to me,so long you have made up your mind to be a better person now. Your sex tape is your past. Your Yahoo Yahoo is your past. Am more interested in who are you today. I am not the confess your life past to me and lets start on a clean slate. I have more things to do, i am not God and have no reason to judge anyone for their past. However, since she and her husband had this kind of agreement then, then the OP should have resigned from her job long ago, especially as she chose to keep this part a secret and had sincerely stopped having her flings. This of course was her mistake.

The best and only solution is for her to resign and immediately.

FOR THE OP - And please op, in case your husband now says, erm.. i no longer trust you as you hid this and me self i will start cheating my own, then i can categorically tell you that its likely he had cheated previously, once or twice, but your mistake has now given him a backing and reason to make it open.

Fix this immediately OP.

[quote author=zinachidi post=54222752][/quote]


How? Stop deceiving her pls. The best option is to quit the job. Otherwise, her husband won't believe her again. The trust will never return. Assuming you started eating the best dish of yours and found a drop of excreta at the tip of the plate, what will happen to u?

Yorubest:
Good morning family

I can't sleep and cried all night

I've been married for 3yrs with a son

Before getting married I dated my husband for less than a year and everything was fine.

I don't want to bore you with the details but before getting married, my husband and I agreed to be honest and tell each other everything. I told him about my previous affairs and he didn't have problem with it but I couldn't tell him about the one with my present GM because I still work with him.

Somehow, he got to find out through one his friends who knows my boss. It's not as if he was told the details but he came from a meeting last Friday asking so many questions. It was about my boss and I had to confess to him.

Although what I had with my boss was a fling, he felt I was too cheap as he never asked me out but told me meet him in his house when his wife was away and I did and it happened. Just twice.

My husband keeps saying he doesn't trust me anymore. He's stopped touching me and he rarely talks to me and raises his voice now

He has a good job that pays well and his salary dwarfs mine but I love the job and my career.

What can I do to win him back? I'm confused. Help. No insults please

royalroy

u re not only cheap buh kinda cheap LovePeddler...u visited a married man when his wife isn't around, and u called that fling...flinging kor flexing ni

Yorubest:
Good morning family

I can't sleep and cried all night

I've been married for 3yrs with a son

Before getting married I dated my husband for less than a year and everything was fine.

I don't want to bore you with the details but before getting married, my husband and I agreed to be honest and tell each other everything. I told him about my previous affairs and he didn't have problem with it but I couldn't tell him about the one with my present GM because I still work with him.

Somehow, he got to find out through one his friends who knows my boss. It's not as if he was told the details but he came from a meeting last Friday asking so many questions. It was about my boss and I had to confess to him.

Although what I had with my boss was a fling, he felt I was too cheap as he never asked me out but told me meet him in his house when his wife was away and I did and it happened. Just twice.

My husband keeps saying he doesn't trust me anymore. He's stopped touching me and he rarely talks to me and raises his voice now

He has a good job that pays well and his salary dwarfs mine but I love the job and my career.

What can I do to win him back? I'm confused. Help. No insults please

royalroy

It seems like your husband is a good man. A good man will react the way he reacted. A bad man would have immediately started sleeping around or, what's worse, thrown you outside in anger. A "bad" man operates in anger.

Let's start with some bluntness here. You lost out on winning the trust of your husband when you told him "half-truths". A half-truth is the same as a lie.

Yes, a lie.

Trust is a very unstable compound. When it is gone, it is quite hard to regain it back.
To regain it back, you must do something which will be quite hard too. You missed the easy option earlier, by not revealing the whole secrets/past to him.

It's simple. Apologise to him, assure him that nothing has happened since then and prepare a resignation letter. Yes, show it to your husband and tell him that you have made up your mind to quit your job that day.
And, as the head of the house, you need his consent. Or disapproval.
Go with what ever he says.

If you do this with all sincerity of heart, you will find another job soon (if you quit) and, more importantly, win your husband's trust back and save your young marriage. He will see your move as respect for him. Women feed on affection, men feed on respect.

Anything asides this will be scratching the surface.

Believe me, a happy home is worth more than a job. Much, much, more.
I hope it goes well.

cc150615:
OP, many ppl have said this but I have to repeat it, the first thing you have to do is leave that job, afterall you said your husband has a good job. Reason being that your husband has every cause to think you're still sleeping with your boss even tho you said you stopped, cos if you lied about it before, you can lie about it again, that's how he'll think. But leaving your job would proof to him that you're really ready to stop. Now that doesn't mean he'll come around automatically, he needs time to heal and get over the hurt, so you need to keep being the loving wife that you are and wait for him to come around.
And the fact you mentioned that your gm was at your wedding and gave you gifts, don't think that should earn you credit, in fact it would annoy him the more, remember the saying that ;'the best place to hide something is in the open'. It's like an open insult to him dt a man you were having an affair with came to show like a good samaritan at your wedding.

Wow...that's quite a piece. You've said it all.

Yorubest:
Good morning family

I can't sleep and cried all night

I've been married for 3yrs with a son

Before getting married I dated my husband for less than a year and everything was fine.

I don't want to bore you with the details but before getting married, my husband and I agreed to be honest and tell each other everything. I told him about my previous affairs and he didn't have problem with it but I couldn't tell him about the one with my present GM because I still work with him.

Somehow, he got to find out through one his friends who knows my boss. It's not as if he was told the details but he came from a meeting last Friday asking so many questions. It was about my boss and I had to confess to him.

Although what I had with my boss was a fling, he felt I was too cheap as he never asked me out but told me meet him in his house when his wife was away and I did and it happened. Just twice.

My husband keeps saying he doesn't trust me anymore. He's stopped touching me and he rarely talks to me and raises his voice now

He has a good job that pays well and his salary dwarfs mine but I love the job and my career.

What can I do to win him back? I'm confused. Help. No insults please

royalroy

Your boss isn't the one ruinning your marriage; you are and trust me, you are doing a good job of it.

You slept with your boss 2x (before marriage) assuming you really stopped and you still work with that boss 3yrs after your marriage? Same boss gave you gifts during your wedding?

Solution:

1. Discuss, seriously apologize to him and ask him to give you his conditions to forgive you;
2. Quit your job as soon as possible (I find it hard to believe your boss stopped after 2x. Your husband right now would have his imagination running wild and assume a lot of stuffs);
3. If you still have waka spirit, genuinely repent;
4. Keep appeasing him.

Never turn a hoe into a wife.

avril9:
Girls when you tell them not all that glitter is gold they just won't believe u, flings, relationships here and there can't you just be single till the right guy comes. You knew he was married still u went ahead and slept wit him,in your mind u didnt think it will come bk and hunt u. Its best you resign, give your husband time he will come around though at first he might not be so free with u, but if he has a big heart things will go bk to normal or even get better. The thing is aside the present situation he feels ashamed cos his friend and so many other people kn about you escapades,men hate such situations.

only God can save my marriage cos if I am the man ehn, I won't be able to sex her anymore cos I will start imagining things

madridsta007:


It seems like your husband is a good man. A good man will react the way he reacted. A bad man would have immediately started sleeping around or, what's worse, thrown you outside in anger. A "bad" man operates in anger.

Let's start with some bluntness here. You lost out on winning the trust of your husband when you told him "half-truths". A half-truth is the same as a lie.

Yes, a lie.

Trust is a very unstable compound. When it is gone, it is quite hard to regain it back.
To regain it back, you must do something which will be quite hard too. You missed the easy option earlier, by not revealing the whole secrets/past to him.

It's simple. Apologise to him, assure him that nothing has happened since then and prepare a resignation letter. Yes, show it to your husband and tell him that you have made up your mind to quit your job that day.
And, as the head of the house, you need his consent. Or disapproval.
Go with what ever he says.

If you do this with all sincerity of heart, you will find another job soon (if you quit) and, more importantly, win your husband's trust back and save your young marriage. He will see your move as respect for him. Women feed on affection, men feed on respect.

Anything asides this will be scratching the surface.

Believe me, a happy home is worth more than a job. Much, much, more.
I hope it goes well.

Good one.

21st century name for adultery and fornication - fling.

May God have mercy...

Assuming I was the OP husband, the first thing to do was to carry the son for DNA test, if it was confirmed I was the father she is saved otherwise she is a gonna.

Don't know what will be going on in the husband mind every morning they are preparing for work.

Cutehector:
Just twice? Woman! Just twice?



U sounded like twice was a small thing... Adultery is adultery. Don't even matter if penetrative sex was involved... As long as u find urself lusting after a man dats not ur husband, u are already guilty of adultery..


Now to d second part, ur husband doesn't trust u anymore. Dats fatal! Believe me.. Once a man can't trust his wife again then there is absolutely nothing she will do that will make him trust her back..


I think maybe the first thing u gotta do is to quit ur job if u really mean u are sorry...

Totally agree with this 100%. Only a surgical change of heart by his creator can earn you his trust back!

Yorubest:
Hmmm. Thanks for all the advise. I was wrong but there's nothing happening again. Although I used to talk to him fondly about my boss and things in the office which I'm sure makes him not want to trust me. My boss was also at my wedding and he gave us presents and cash which he is aware of.

What can I do now? The trust is gone.

Hi. First thing to do is resign from your job and cut off all contact with your boss then move on from there. You are putting your marriage at more risk if you continue working there.

A married boss and a married woman had flings. So how can your boss threaten your marriage when he also has his own marriage to protect? Today's marriage is just a big fat joke

Dyt:
Everyone saying quit job


Yes
She has admitted her mistakes
She's pleading
Still pleading
Dunno why it's hard for men to forgive sha
Not like she's still with him sef
Hian
Very selfish set of humans





Y'all should take a chill pill
And stop quoting me

she is a,liar, loose and an adulterous woman just like you re,such women re a disgrace and dosent derserve to be trusted,talkless of being somebodies wife..the man should get rid of her in time b4 is too late.

Hello @Op see, I can't tell tell u 60% of men treats similar marital issues same way, though some are more emotional than others If am ur husband firstly I expect u to quit ur job ASAP without even informing me, why? I believe for u to keep ur relationship with ur boss from me it means u guys are still having an affair it might not be that serious but I believe once in a while u answers to his booty call ...
Secondly I also expect u to give me some time to calm my anger, Thirdly either in words or actions I want u to show me that wat u did was wrong n u regret it plus it would never happen again and most importantly never talk about ur boss in my presence again... As for me if u do all those stuffs very soon thing will go back to normal between us

How true these words are " Tell the truth the first time and u won't have to worry about what you said you said at first "

madam you should not have given in to your boss advances when you promised your husband to be faithful, the deed has been done, just pray to win him back, I just don't know what you want in your boss that your husband don't have, now see what you have put yourself into, trust is a bedrock of marriage and once the trust is not there, that marriage won't work, unless by prayer to bring the trust back, Good luck madam, make sure you don't do such again.

Yorubest:
Hmmm. Thanks for all the advise. I was wrong but there's nothing happening again. Although I used to talk to him fondly about my boss and things in the office which I'm sure makes him not want to trust me. My boss was also at my wedding and he gave us presents and cash which he is aware of

What can I do now? The trust is gone.

Oro iranu. Rubbish talk. The more reason he will destroy that gift n see u cheap. Don't ever say it to him oooo.

So you were screwing a married man...imagine some other lady does that to you......

KevinDein:
I'm so sorry op but things as you know before will never be the same again.
Karma just stroke; it's stroke damn hard on you, op.
When you were banging your boss you probably pit him against his family...his wife and kids. You contributed to producing a sad home somewhere. Did you think you were gonna get married and live happily ever after?
Nahh. Shiits don't work like that. You know what, I'm not even sorry for you, just sorry for your kid.

i love you my brother,u re very sensible person,

Yorubest:
Good morning family

I can't sleep and cried all night

I've been married for 3yrs with a son

Before getting married I dated my husband for less than a year and everything was fine.

I don't want to bore you with the details but before getting married, my husband and I agreed to be honest and tell each other everything. I told him about my previous affairs and he didn't have problem with it but I couldn't tell him about the one with my present GM because I still work with him.

Somehow, he got to find out through one his friends who knows my boss. It's not as if he was told the details but he came from a meeting last Friday asking so many questions. It was about my boss and I had to confess to him.

Although what I had with my boss was a fling, he felt I was too cheap as he never asked me out but told me meet him in his house when his wife was away and I did and it happened. Just twice.

My husband keeps saying he doesn't trust me anymore. He's stopped touching me and he rarely talks to me and raises his voice now

He has a good job that pays well and his salary dwarfs mine but I love the job and my career.

What can I do to win him back? I'm confused. Help. No insults please

royalroy

Pls did it happen b4 or after. U met ur husband

Yorubest:
Good morning family

I can't sleep and cried all night

I've been married for 3yrs with a son

Before getting married I dated my husband for less than a year and everything was fine.

I don't want to bore you with the details but before getting married, my husband and I agreed to be honest and tell each other everything. I told him about my previous affairs and he didn't have problem with it but I couldn't tell him about the one with my present GM because I still work with him.

Somehow, he got to find out through one his friends who knows my boss. It's not as if he was told the details but he came from a meeting last Friday asking so many questions. It was about my boss and I had to confess to him.

Although what I had with my boss was a fling, he felt I was too cheap as he never asked me out but told me meet him in his house when his wife was away and I did and it happened. Just twice.

My husband keeps saying he doesn't trust me anymore. He's stopped touching me and he rarely talks to me and raises his voice now

He has a good job that pays well and his salary dwarfs mine but I love the job and my career.

What can I do to win him back? I'm confused. Help. No insults please

royalroy

U didn't tell h OK m about your boss because u still wanted to continue playing the game. Now it has caught up with you.

The first thing you need to do is to earn his trust once more and you can only do that by quiting your job. By doing so you are telling your hubby that you value your marriage and you no longer have any relationship with your boss.[color=#006600][/color]

Yorubest:
Good morning family

I can't sleep and cried all night

I've been married for 3yrs with a son

Before getting married I dated my husband for less than a year and everything was fine.

I don't want to bore you with the details but before getting married, my husband and I agreed to be honest and tell each other everything. I told him about my previous affairs and he didn't have problem with it but I couldn't tell him about the one with my present GM because I still work with him.

Somehow, he got to find out through one his friends who knows my boss. It's not as if he was told the details but he came from a meeting last Friday asking so many questions. It was about my boss and I had to confess to him.

Although what I had with my boss was a fling, he felt I was too cheap as he never asked me out but told me meet him in his house when his wife was away and I did and it happened. Just twice.

My husband keeps saying he doesn't trust me anymore. He's stopped touching me and he rarely talks to me and raises his voice now

He has a good job that pays well and his salary dwarfs mine but I love the job and my career.

What can I do to win him back? I'm confused. Help. No insults please

royalroy

"Do not be deceived. God is not mocked.
Whatever a man sows, that he shall reap"

Galatians 6:7

You are a vey stupid woman for sleeping with ur boss.
Not once but twice.
You deserve every bad thing that comes your way.
I detest slut$ like you.

ITbomb:
Did you say "just" twice.

Once, I would have forgiven you but twice? You are just a cheap slut

And she's still working under the guy that bleeped her and expects the husband not be worried.

[quote author=zinachidi post=54222752][/quote] How?

Dyt:
Everyone saying quit job


Yes
She has admitted her mistakes
She's pleading
Still pleading
Dunno why it's hard for men to forgive sha
Not like she's still with him sef
Hian
Very selfish set of humans





Y'all should take a chill pill
And stop quoting me


Y'all condemning her
Yes we all make mistakes
This is hers and she's willing to correct

So easy to throw jabs at people looking for hope
Like they haven't made mistakes once or twice in their lifetime

Typical!!!

It's so unfortunate that this is still coming from a lady just like the OP herself.Your post just simply shows that you also have strong tendencies to do same as the OP going by the bolded u make it sound like cheating is no biggy!!! If u feel its no buggy try it with your husband/bf and see how every rationale man would react.

why not just hit the nail on the head and help the OP after all the truth is bitter ,but will also set u free.

As per OP this is a very difficult situation u are going through and u need a lot of prayer and try a lot more harder to win your husbands heart back but it's not impossible.Just do everything humanly possible to please and love your husband more even if it means quitting your job but please make sure u also inform him before u quit that job.

I wish u the very best and God bless

Just did it twice!!

That line changed everything.. this lady in question is not remorseful!! You did all that and expect your hussy to turn a blind eye!! Wehdone Ma