goingape1:
thank you!

people will commit a terrible sin and be blaming the society! who is the society? are our parent not among the society!

those one cornered brain people up there who think the society is this and that are the one who will try not to let there child make this mistake.

if our society is not favourable than go to another country were the society will be favourable you. simple

Ya.It's as simple as that.

The mistake you made is that you think a marriage decision is only made by the guy and the girl. I've you thought it out if this girl would marry you if she ain't got a child? She must have seen the mugun in you that you can marry "after-one"

olaszydaruma:
This is exactly what is going on in my life too. Although my family is yet to discovered that she already had a child before. She said I should not let them know yet, that when its time she will let me know.

Haha! Na she go tell you time... She dey control you kwa

watch a super story called BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME all ur questions will be answered u can download it

alobright17:
Should we marry her for you?

fight for ur right

goingape1:
shut up!

there are things you are not suppose to do during your youthful exuberant!

sin is sin, wrongdoing is wrongdoin.

suzan404:
Hmmmm....why are you even scared?....you don't know why they called you to appear on Sunday,you're already shaking like a jellyfish.....tell them what you want if they try to go against your relationship.....shikena.....having a baby is not a disease tho...

Pain of a single mum.,..na joke I dey o...but seriously if that guy is Yoruba and he go ahead with his plan...he will regret it.

Qriousity:
sin is sin, wrongdoing is wrongdoin.

and The wages of sin is death?

Different sin have different repercussion

TINALETC3:
Hmmmmmm, I jst pity d gal, if she is nt needed in dat family, she kindly walk away, some families cn fight u both physically and spiritually even after marriage, even though ur hubby luvs u. If trouble start later, na she go hear am nt d man

You right...families don't welcome a wife that's a single mum only if the man is a single Dad too

Harun111:
I met this 22 years old girl 1 year ago. We both got along and decided to settle down together.when we met she told me her past and one of the thing she told me about her past is she had a baby when she was 15years. She asked me if my family will allow me to marry her I said that should be my decision.i went ahead to Introduced her to my family which all of them accepted her.but recently my younger brother finds out she once gave birth,he then went ahead to tell my family about it. and they have called the family meeting which I was asked to appear on Sunday.my problem here is I love her so much and we are planning to settle down together this year and my family will want to stop me from marrying her.most her things her in my house. Am kinda confused I don't know Wat to do. Am going through some emotional pains rite now. I don't know if I should tell her, any time she calls my heart beat. Please I need ur advice..

Just know that you are her second love...bro... her child comes first...think welll before you move on idiot...so many single mum can love you till death when they are facing challenges to be in love

kunlesufyan:
Put your self in your parent's shoes, would you allow your child who has had a child before??Think very hard before answering the question.

Its not about his parents
Its about him
Parents have had their own fun and still want to block somebody
I wouldnt care
My business is to endorse whoever my child brings home
Long as he or she is of character that my child is ok with

Its this same kind of parents that will keave their house and go and be causing trouble in their child's house

MayowaAleem:
bro follow your heart..

Them no born am well to follow his mind...we go beat the hell outa him...we warning him already before now.

cutediva87:
what is wrong in marrying a single mom? after all girls marry single dads. plus if it were to be their daughter that had a child out of wedlock will they not want her to get married, or will they advice any man that wants to marry her not to? they are being selfish here.
and you if you already told the girl that the decision rests on you why are you scared now?
my advice: if you love her, go for her they will learn yo accept her with time. especially if she has a good character.

Dem no born him well to marry her...person wey don start dey bleep since 15...you don't know us in our family...you can come over and help him beg naa...

Cutehector:
I feel like giving ur brother a slap

Come na...

Kakamorufu:
well. follow your mind and don't fret when talking with them.

Buh I must say, your brother is a big bad snitch.

Whatever...we don't want that bitch in our house

JerryTemi:
Bros I will start from telling you a story and you will make or take your decisions.my girlfriend took in one certain time like that and she had the baby,today that boy is 6 and you won't believe it she got married last year and to grown it all the guy didn't disclose her baby to his family so bros take your ground cover her unclothedness now, call her, tell her not to tell or answer anybody about that baby,you are a man and I will tell you to in for them that such information is not real at all,stand your ground. Don't let anybody to run your life or family for you because nobody will do same to me that is a woman because is my choice.all the best

Bitch....we already knew the girl got a kid...my brother will be her second love and not first becos her child will always come first....continue to give a dead advise to mislead him....we are waiting for him here...you can follow him up to cook the lies very well though

Qriousity:
Bro go ahead with the marriage. Your parents ain't the ones to decide who you marry. BTW, ask them if their own parents did the same to them.

Come and tie them together naa...the girl know say we get character for our house so she go feel the warmth weather

goingape1:
see them!

one cornered brain people
protect again who? the girl did something irresponsible at her youth and you want the op parent to pay for her irresponsible act.

useless women everywhere

Don't mind them...when they started bleeping without condom and future they don't know there will be tomorrow....assholes...everywhere...that lady fit don born 2 to different man

Sunnytega:
I don't understand. Does it mean somebody dat has given birth bf can't get married? She only had a child nt dt she's a witch or has one terrible dz dat pipo are afraid of

She only had a child...yes...she did...at age 15...kilode... they swear for her toto ni...we don't drink boredhole in our family

Taryur3:

Don't mind them...when they started bleeping without condom and future they don't know there will be tomorrow....assholes...everywhere...that lady fit don born 2 to different man

you go know them by there comments!

Sunnytega:
Is it becs she did nt abort d pregnancy?

No but because she started bleeping at 15

silverspringle:
@Op, listen to this... " If u don't marry that girl, another person(maybe someone berra than u) will marry her. Since u know this, back to ur topic, that a girl gave back at d age of 15 doesnt mean anything. It was just a mistake, most girls commit abortion like a 'million' times and still get married with their dirty parts hidden. I ve noticed that even though our parents wants d best for us, they can be very selfish. They want to keep up a face not minding their children's happiness. My fiancé's mum kept finding fault with me but d son stood his ground. That is what i call a man, its not disrespect, its called know ur boundaries with ur spouse and ur family. I told my fiancé that d way ur mum doesn't like me is d way my mum doesn't like u cos she wanted me to marry a richer guy. What should u do? Wisely let ur parents know why u should marry this girl, invlolve ur closer uncles and aunties, let them see reasons with u though it will take a long time but dnt give up if u think she's worth it. My mum will say "that she's has given birth before means she's fertile" lolz... Goodluck

Good luck ko...Jonathan ni...we don't want that bitch...she started bleeping at 15...do you know how many abortions she might have vomited since then till now...you blowing one nonsense advise...face your front and never come here

tosyne2much:
Let me come in here and correct a notion

What I want you to know is that every man has a standard/taste and it has nothing to do with "matured" or not.. Your cousin might find a man who married her despite having three kids, but I, as a person won't marry such a woman due to my standard and personal choice.. It has to do with personal choice not maturity.. However, the fact that a man can take the risk of getting married to a baby mama doesn't mean he's more matured than another man who can't do that


Back to the issue

We are in the part of the world where all protocols are observed when it comes to marriage.. Though, you can go against the protocol and stand your ground, but what happens afterwards? Hatred and enmity would be hurled at the lady by these family members

The best you can do is to settle it amicably with your family members and give them reasons for your decisions.. No be by gra gra jawe.. No be by "wetin be una business with who I wan marry"

My friend, you have a good point but the truth remains that he (op), loves the girl so much from what I can deduce from his write up and in turn the girl loves him too, so why will he allow his parents to decide or determine who he shares his life with. The issue of marriage is first about your happiness and secondly, you can consider your family. If I tell you my story of how my husband's siblings including his mother, ganged up to beat me up during my courtship period, you would think I would never smell their community again let alone getting married to him today. The young girl is innocent, in the sense that she have not offended them in any way except for having a child, if they are without sin, let them be the first to cast a stone at her. Family people always widen their nose when it comes to their son getting married, always looking for faults to castigate the lady even when there is no need for it. My husbands family were against me for no just cause but when they saw that their son really loves me, and me self come dey show my husband better love make dem for vex tire, today the story has changed. I didn't hold all that their evil plots against me then to heart after we got married, rather I proved them wrong by respecting them all, embraced the kitchen like cooking and assisting anyone of them in the kitchen. Your wife should just be good. Be sure that she possesses good character because that is the basis of marriage not beauty and most importantly, prayers!. Prayer works wonders during my time of trials with my in-laws. God turned their hatred towards me to love. Today, the whole village knows that my mother in law loves me. Today, my sister in laws call to tell me their challenges and seek for my advice or opinion even when they are far far older than I am, this is what prayers can do and above all, pray that the will of God be done.

goingape1:
see them!

one cornered brain people
protect again who? the girl did something irresponsible at her youth and you want the op parent to pay for her irresponsible act.

useless women everywhere

So because she made a mistake at a young age, she's supposed to pay for it for the rest of her life?

Useless men everywhere, taking advantage of and impregnating young girls and denying responsibility. Had the useless baby daddy risen to his responsibility, will the op be proposing to her? It takes a real man to love a woman with all her baggage and op is one.

Taryur3:

Good luck ko...Jonathan ni...we don't want that bitch...she started bleeping at 15...do you know how many abortions she might have vomited since then till now...you blowing one nonsense advise...face your front and never come here

Mr saint and righteous man, hope you have not bleep any girl since you were born, if not, as you are pointing a finger at this girl, check, the remaining four fingers are pointing back at you. Smhhhhh

dominique:


So because she made a mistake at a young age, she's supposed to pay for it for the rest of her life?

Useless men everywhere, taking advantage of and impregnating young girls and denying responsibility. Had the useless baby daddy risen to his responsibility, will the op be proposing to her? It takes a real man to love a woman with all her baggage and op is one.

if your mother is a single mum and your dad got married to her then I take ya dad as a real man!

Taryur3:

Whatever...we don't want that bitch in our house

wait. Are u the brother who went snitching

ststyreal:

Mr saint and righteous man, hope you have not bleep any girl since you were born, if not, as you are pointing a finger at this girl, check, the remaining four fingers are pointing back at you. Smhhhhh

One single mum sighted and disturbing here....we bleep with care and not under age...at 15.? Nooo....we just don't ant her....child's ove is the first she will considered before thinking of my bro

ststyreal:

My friend, you have a good point but the truth remains that he (op), loves the girl so much from what I can deduce from his write up and in turn the girl loves him too, so why will he allow his parents to decide or determine who he shares his life with. The issue of marriage is first about your happiness and secondly, you can consider your family. If I tell you my story of how my husband's siblings including his mother, ganged up to beat me up during my courtship period, you would think I would never smell their community again let alone getting married to him today. The young girl is innocent, in the sense that she have not offended them in any way except for having a child, if they are without sin, let them be the first to cast a stone at her. Family people always widen their nose when it comes to their son getting married, always looking for faults to castigate the lady even when there is no need for it. My husbands family were against me for no just cause but when they saw that their son really loves me, and me self come dey show my husband better love make dem for vex tire, today the story has changed. I didn't hold all that their evil plots against me then to heart after we got married, rather I proved them wrong by respecting them all, embraced the kitchen like cooking and assisting anyone of them in the kitchen. Your wife should just be good. Be sure that she possesses good character because that is the basis of marriage not beauty and most importantly, prayers!. Prayer works wonders during my time of trials with my in-laws. God turned their hatred towards me to love. Today, the whole village knows that my mother in law loves me. Today, my sister in laws call to tell me their challenges and seek for my advice or opinion even when they are far far older than I am, this is what prayers can do and above all, pray that the will of God be done.

Wooooow¡¡¡ what a good testimony

dominique:


So because she made a mistake at a young age, she's supposed to pay for it for the rest of her life?

Useless men everywhere, taking advantage of and impregnating young girls and denying responsibility. Had the useless baby daddy risen to his responsibility, will the op be proposing to her? It takes a real man to love a woman with all her baggage and op is one.

That is to say that the past sometimes haunts one in the future even if has been thrown to the bin

Thats just the kind of society we find ourselves and nothing can change it. A society where people dig up your past just to deprive you of your progress

Not playing the blame game o, but at 15 years old she already has a child, that means that she probably was 14 when she got pregnant which is a very young age to be a mum. At that age, one would expect her to be concentrating on her school work and not having a baby. That said, she’s 22 now which means the child is about 7 years old. The question is can you accept that you have a 7 years old step child? When you eventually have your own first child with her, how would you feel? It's understandable if you already had a child as well but for your case, you never get pikin yet o and you think its child’s play to suddenly become a father to a step child? No offence o, but e go hard small, so make you pay careful attention to wetin your family wan talk for this matter o. No let anybody deceive you say go ahead and marry her it's all in the past so nothing happen o, cos when everything blow, dem no go der there with you o.