₦airaland Forum

alexistaiwo:
I did not bother to read your epistle because your coming here to seek validation shows that you are not matured and responsible enough to make life decisions on your own.


If you are advised to marry and it works out well.
It is for your benefit alone (abi you want to share her with us)
And if it doesn't work out
It is your cross, you will carry it alone.

So please Bros. Search your heart well.
Therein lies your answer.

Rant over

God bless u my good brethen,this is wisdom in its full pack

destinel:
Hi guys, I seriously need your opinion on this matter. Please take your time to go through my story:

I came in contact with this single mother of two kids in my church. This lady has every good character you want in a potential wife. Shes so selfless, God-fearing, down to earth, caring, very matured and willing to die for my love.

So we got really close, talking and started dating, it was then I discovered she had had two kids before, I couldn't believe my ears.
From her explanation, she really had a very rough past. she was dating a guy she really doesn't love.
After having a kid for him, they separated due to some reasons; then 2 years forward the guy came back begging, she agreed and then the second kid came.

Few years going forward, things really got nasty. The guy impregnated two other ladies, making her very depressed and frustrated. So she left him and had since over 7 years now been with the two kids and the guy had since then neglected her her and not even bothered about his kids; mind you, there was never a legal marriage between the two of them.

Now on my own part, I was a virgin when I met her. So she was the one who disvirgined me and we had intimated a couple number of times of course we felt guilty, remorseful and sorry for it cos it was very wrong of us. I really do love her though and she loves me, there were sometimes on three different occasions we had to break up cos I felt I couldn't go ahead with the marriage, but she falls terribly sick in the process and I myself I couldn't handle the feeling cos I always miss her. So we make up again

My pastor doesn't see anything wrong in our getting married but advises we pray really hard about it. Now, I'm quite worried the kind of resistance my family members will put up if I bring that type of lady for marriage cos there this lady ive been dating for years, she happens to be a virgin, so there was nothing intimate. I think I lover her too but not as strong as what I feel for the single mum.
She kind of broke up with me saying she needed time for herself and education, so I let her be. It was in the process I met the single mum. But we are still good friends, we talk, we laugh gist and all.....

Pity guys who think single mothers are not wife materials. In as much as the both love themselves and can tolerate each other, seriously it doesnt matter. i personally is married to a lady that had three kids before i met her. this year is our seventh year and am happy. Who among us can testify that our past has no blink? some of us here had in the past destroys someone future and we go searching for nice ones. God will judge us. MY BROTHER IF YOU ARE CONVINCED AND READY GO AHEAD WITH YOUR MARRIAGE, YOU MUST NOT TELL YOUR PEOPLE NO BE BY FORCE. UP TILL DATE NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT MY WIFE AND THAT WAS MY PROMISE TO HER. LATER IN THE FUTURE THEY WILL BUT NOT NOW.

BasketballGURU:
[color=#1980BC]He back from injury? [/color]

by next week


he will start the playoffs

Forgive me but my street head tells me if the first guy comes back any day, he will still bang her again and again. The addiction to his puenis is very stroong

destinel:
Hi guys, I seriously need your opinion on this matter. Please take your time to go through my story:

I came in contact with this single mother of two kids in my church. This lady has every good character you want in a potential wife. Shes so selfless, God-fearing, down to earth, caring, very matured and willing to die for my love.

So we got really close, talking and started dating, it was then I discovered she had had two kids before, I couldn't believe my ears.
From her explanation, she really had a very rough past. she was dating a guy she really doesn't love.
After having a kid for him, they separated due to some reasons; then 2 years forward the guy came back begging, she agreed and then the second kid came.

Few years going forward, things really got nasty. The guy impregnated two other ladies, making her very depressed and frustrated. So she left him and had since over 7 years now been with the two kids and the guy had since then neglected her her and not even bothered about his kids; mind you, there was never a legal marriage between the two of them.

Now on my own part, I was a virgin when I met her. So she was the one who disvirgined me and we had intimated a couple number of times of course we felt guilty, remorseful and sorry for it cos it was very wrong of us. I really do love her though and she loves me, there were sometimes on three different occasions we had to break up cos I felt I couldn't go ahead with the marriage, but she falls terribly sick in the process and I myself I couldn't handle the feeling cos I always miss her. So we make up again

My pastor doesn't see anything wrong in our getting married but advises we pray really hard about it. Now, I'm quite worried the kind of resistance my family members will put up if I bring that type of lady for marriage cos there this lady ive been dating for years, she happens to be a virgin, so there was nothing intimate. I think I lover her too but not as strong as what I feel for the single mum.
She kind of broke up with me saying she needed time for herself and education, so I let her be. It was in the process I met the single mum. But we are still good friends, we talk, we laugh gist and all.....

go ahead and marry her. It's about your happiness first.

Don't Marry this woman, don't start your journey with someone else's PROBLEM. She can never love you better than the father of her two children. Can or will you stop the ex from visiting his children - can you stop the children from going to spend weekend or holidays with their dad?.
Be wise, open your eyes and smell the coffee. You will be lucky if she have more than one child for you.
You will spend all your life savings to raise someone else children, on the day of their graduations they will smiling and taking pictures with their useless father. On their wedding day you will be either a spectator or guest while the useless father and their mom will be on the front row seat.
Don't allow your self to be tie down because of sex - pray to God and he will bless you with the bone of your own bone and not someone else baggage.
LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP, talk to your parents.

Bad advise - why should he begin his journey with someone else burden when the slowpoke (the useless father) is alive and he can pop up at anytime.

honimun007:
Brother no amount of advice or solutions we profer here will be conmesurate to what and what you feel for her. Everyone has a past either good or bad,if you know you can live with her past then go ahead and marry her. Remember your utmost joy and happiness is necessary not what your family feel about her because it is not your family that will marry her or live with her. Show me a lady that does not have a past and i will show you an angel. Obviously you are so into the girl from your statement,so do not allow anything and anyone deprive you of your joy because of so called past.

TrapHedges:
lol tf brah.. Iono nothing bout single mothers

Am a marriage counselor, try and reach me on 08088896607, let's chat. Will be able to advice u better

kollog:
Am a marriage counselor, try and reach me on 08088896607, let's chat. Will be able to advice u better

okay. thanks

youngibeh:
Pity guys who think single mothers are not wife materials. In as much as the both love themselves and can tolerate each other, seriously it doesnt matter. i personally is married to a lady that had three kids before i met her. this year is our seventh year and am happy. Who among us can testify that our past has no blink? some of us here had in the past destroys someone future and we go searching for nice ones. God will judge us. MY BROTHER IF YOU ARE CONVINCED AND READY GO AHEAD WITH YOUR MARRIAGE, YOU MUST NOT TELL YOUR PEOPLE NO BE BY FORCE. UP TILL DATE NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT MY WIFE AND THAT WAS MY PROMISE TO HER. LATER IN THE FUTURE THEY WILL BUT NOT NOW.

thanks for the advise

Anikpee:
My dear, I see nothing wrong with your getting married to her, almost every body has some level of nasty past, since she is now a practising child of God, go on with the marriage, the devil you know is far better than the angel you don't know, that your other girlfriend is a Virgin does not guarantee a happy home with her so be careful, as for your family, as far as this is your life and your marriage, you have the final decision not your family, besides you guys can choose to keep the part of single mum a secret to them for now, till you achieve your happiness but if they have known, you still have to be a man and tell them this is what you want and they have to respect your decision. Be a man, decide on what you want and stand your ground. wish you guys the best

many thanks for ur kind advise

Tokziby:
Life is what u make out of it.

Marriage is not how far but how well u can tolerate each others short comings regardless of what the future holds.

There is no difference in marrying a virgin and non-virgin cos both of them are woman and they have their womanly traits though at different levels. What matters is the person u choose to spend the rest of ur life with and accept to take full responsibility the outcome after tying the knot.

You might go for a virgin and ur life become worse for it and vice versa.

But from my own point of view, i always say this, marry the person that cannot live without u and discard the one that u can live without. This is because u can tell when she truly loves u deeply from her actions, but u cannot know whether the one u love truly loves u back the way u did.

Why i said this, is that, u can always get best out of the one that cannot live without u, by her conforming to ur wants as she will do everything possible to keep u to herself. Based on what u stated, she already has two kids, thus she has a very slim chance of getting another single guy like u if u break up with her. Also with the current epidermic of "husbandless" single girls in the society, trust me she can get direct admission in 3rd mainland bridge if u decide to ditch her.

The ball is in ur court... Despite all i said, its still does not guarantee that she will give u a blissful life when u marry her, as animals cannot stop to exhibit their animalistic instinct so does a woman will never fail to exhibit their commotion traits.

Thats my 10 kobo.

God knows best...

very well said. well noted

botad:
"I was a virgin when I met her. So she was the one who disvirgined me and we had intimated a couple number of times"......did this happened before she told you she already had two kids or after?

AFTER.. She was open about her past right from the onset

Fernandowski:
by next week


he will start the playoffs

please i would like too see you in person to confirm the 6ft9 that you claimed to be cause these man who is 7ft4.He resides in lagos a place called bariga who is said to be the tallest currently in nigeria.so i stood by him and i was above his shoulder and am 6ft5 so i would like to see you where can we meet cause i do believe all this 6ft10 are just hype.
http://www.talltaleagency.com/en/agoro-afeez-oladimeji-talltaleagency-lhomme-plus-grand-monde-2/

KaBabs1:
This part killed me fam. We felt guilty, my as5. Something you guys did a "couple number of times"

more reason why we decided to make an open confession with our Pastor: he rebuked, and prayed for us.
And that was the end.. Perhaps I should have buttressed this fact in my write-up, we are not perfect beings, we all make mistakes.
Thou, I still feel bad about it... God have mercy on us all.

Akin0:
I don't normally advice people when it comes to issue of Marriage, but it appears the young man is confused. The reasons why you are so much attracted and connected to Single Mum is because you have eaten the forbidden fruits and it is a spiritual issue. When you sleep with a girl and being your first time, you will always want to go back eat again.Your situation is not really love , but infatuation, because she has been able to satisfy your urge. There is nothing wrong in marrying a single Mum, but will you be able to cope financially to take care of the two children with your own. You should also realized that no matter how you take care of these two children, they will look for their father when they eventual mature. Just like you have expressed possible opposition from your sibling , i will also do same. There are many young girls there that you can build your future with, while only looking at the enjoyment of today forgetting what the future will hold for you. You and your HOD needs to go and confess your sins and let the pastor know you have been sleeping together. A word they said is enough for the wise.

That has been sorted with our Pastor, thank God for His unending mercies.

Really appreciate your counsel

alexistaiwo:
I did not bother to read your epistle because your coming here to seek validation shows that you are not matured and responsible enough to make life decisions on your own.


If you are advised to marry and it works out well.
It is for your benefit alone (abi you want to share her with us)
And if it doesn't work out
It is your cross, you will carry it alone.

So please Bros. Search your heart well.
Therein lies your answer.

Rant over

since u didnt go through the topic fully. Your comment is likewise unwarrated.
You would have been better off by just shutting the hell up or must you comment?

yeye142:
we ladies sha, u av two kids ,d father of ur kids disappointed u ,and u ar here searchg for another love, ur kids shld b ur permanent spouse for now,to d guy,u ar still an infant.

you that is an adult, why dont get d hell off this thread for good if you have nothing good to say

Runx:
Destinel, I noticed that You no longer reply to comments to guide opinions, are You angered and probably bitten more than can chew? Let me poke your conscience a bit.
1. You seem to be economical​ with truths in your situation. 2. This woman of yours is older than You, She has a stable job, a car, house and kids. She also helps financially as appropriate right? 3. How does she refer to the father of her kids? Is it always in the negatives. 4. Have You noticed any over bearing positive attitudes towards you and your relatives and yet try to hide another version of herself that you realize to your regrets? 5. Why did the father of her kids leave, men may be crazy sometimes but not stupid. Destinel, I shall be encouraged to share WISDOM with you when I read further comments from you.
I always advice this; Walk away!
It cost you nothing!

I felt it wasnt necessary replying comments of bunch of kids with nothing good to say. I was compelled to start replying when I started seeing matured views and opinions. Thanks all the same, your points are well noted

Angelyna:
Hi bro, stop causing more harm to yourself... Nairaland is not the best place to seek for Marital advice. So many teenagers are here,which they have no clue what marriage is all about, only two people have spoken wisely here. Please talk to your God, tell him to have his way on this matter and then do your findings wella! I wish you the best.

Thank you my dear sister, I should have thought it better not to bring this here. No regrets thou.
I've just been laughing off the rutty comments. Gotten what I need, God bless

Ikpeabujo:
I look at tins 4rm d long run end of it. Wot if d father of d children neva cum back, how do u want ur real 1st son to feel or if d blood of d dose children is troublsome in nature do u knw in future u might cause more harm dan gud to ur rily biological son

...

123papas:
Forgive me but my street head tells me if the first guy comes back any day, he will still bang her again and again. The addiction to his puenis is very stroong

CHARLYX9:
please i would like too see you in person to confirm the 6ft9 that you claimed to be cause these man who is 7ft4.He resides in lagos a place called bariga who is said to be the tallest currently in nigeria.so i stood by him and i was above his shoulder and am 6ft5 so i would like to see you where can we meet cause i do believe all this 6ft10 are just hype.
http://www.talltaleagency.com/en/agoro-afeez-oladimeji-talltaleagency-lhomme-plus-grand-monde-2/

hey dude

I don't claim to be 6'9 okay I am 6'9 tall... talking bout meeting you, are you a coach or a scout?? if not, I don't see the need ....

how sure am I?? i measured on Monday and it's the same thing..... go to my profile and search on the first topic there

you will see my picture

Fernandowski:
hey dude

I don't claim to be 6'9 okay I am 6'9 tall... talking bout meeting you, are you a coach or a scout?? if not, I don't see the need ....

how sure am I?? i measured on Monday and it's the same thing..... go to my profile and search on the first topic there

you will see my picture

okay am not doubting you am now convinced from that pictures by the way i do stay in lag and also school and i would love to meet you as a fellow basketballer like me so how do i get in touch with you.

pls, the ball is in your court. Pray and let Jesus guide you. Single Parenthood is. not a disease.
also they were not legally married
Also, a Virgin lady or single mother is not the criteria for good marriage.
All women are the same.The main issue is for God to give u yr own.
her past is too inconsequential to drown yr love if it's truly genuine love.
you. may need to confess the fornications to help yourselves permanently but you can cover it up to your peril.
she has all a man needs in a woman just go ahead if the Holy spirit says yes because marriage is not what we want but what he says.
yr family can be taken care of in prayer and appeals

CHARLYX9:
okay am not doubting you am now convinced from that pictures by the way i do stay in lag and also school and i would love to meet you as a fellow basketballer like me so how do i get in touch with you.

no problem bro


I am shaq...... you use BBM??

Fernandowski:
no problem bro


I am shaq...... you use BBM??

no i don't do social networks i mean can we have a meeting place to play basketball one on one thats what i meant i find it a pleasure to see tall guys like i am or above me play basketball together so where can we meet.

Fernandowski:
no problem bro


I am shaq...... you use BBM??

but i would like to know have you meet the man i posted in that link before

pirees:
Op ,na punna dey hungry you Just find another girl wey u go dey service the love will wash away Chai toto sweet ooO

heheheheheeee

Alero3Arubi:
Na you know.

hey bae

NemzySeries:
hey bae

I thought its baby mama?