truthsayer009:


Exactly sis. Exactly.

She's rolling with lower class people and friends / co-workers and expecting a miracle rich husband.

If you Roll with chickens. More chickens would come way.

she is still on the lower class btw you can roll with the big class all you want. You are responsible for your success alone.. No one else. Who says it's all rich people that have the mindset to do good??

Olanrefront3355:



Except No one ever prayed for unrighteous partner... and life still keeps fvcking everyone...

Luck, Luck sweet!

someone said sometime. Pray life is fair to you especially in a country like Nigeria.

chronique:



Follow your heart. Nobody should kill you for wanting certain standards and if you have to drop below your current standard, make sure it has to be with someone who has genuine and sincere intentions towards you. That way, you wouldn't be losing too much. I personally, have vowed never to date anybody from a poor background no matter how pretty or sincere the person might appear to be. And the reason is this: from my assessment, most people from such backgrounds are hardly totally honest with you cos there's sometimes, this innate desire to get out of that phase of life and it puts pressure on them to do things they really shouldn't be doing. Sometimes, it's as a result of peer pressure. People who come from average of rich backgrounds hardly ever feel the urge to impress a lot of people even if they fall and the simple reason is cos, they have been there before. It's usually not a very easy decision but I still believe people should not marry out of their social status. Average/semi-rich should marry themselves. Semi-rich/very rich should marry themselves. The poor and extremely poor should marry themselves cos it's easier for them to understand themselves since they are from similar backgrounds. The poor often don't think about too much other than let's eat today, make babies and just live life as it comes. Over the holidays, I saw people living in single rooms/room and parlour, tying big ram and cattle in front of their houses just to celebrate sallah and I got peeved. That kind of mentality would hamper a partner who's from the background where they are always thinking of investment and how to turn the next kobo to a few nairas. So, there would always be a clash of ideology. But to everything, there's always an exception but your chances of meeting that exception, might be very slim.

You harsh ooooo. Na wa!

Don't settle for less. Always go for the best!

Settling for a made guy may guarantee that you will continue enjoying the privileges you prolly enjoy under ur father's mention. But I fear if u would happy at the long run. just settle with someone that can make you happy.

missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

all women are thesame. Education or no education. The pretty girl in the village in her own head believes she deserve a better hunter, farmer or mason. Its all relative. You just happen to put forward your position better owing to your level of education.


If you want a candid advise sister. Drop this career talks. Its not heathy when chasing a mate. Many women started on this note and that's the only thing many are hanging to. They tell you stories of their imaginary guy who is in UK, Canada and so. All because they they have set their bar too high. You. Are still young. Don't make that mistake. Many don't know the way out. Career is to support life. Not the other way round.

And also take of that hat of class conciousness,It can only restrict you to a certain small circle just like tribe. If truly your mind is as educated as you claim, it should be more liberated from this sought of thinking by now.this for lack of better term is main stream thinking.

Scrap that! Start your thinking over. . .let the end . be happiness. Not. .prestige.

Nairaland has nothing to offer for choice of husband or marriage you desire, Just pray to God for direction.Celetial bless

Search no more! See me here na! Your search describes me! Check your DM

missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

goingape1:
lol!
not as useless as my mama who beg for food!

And you don't feed her? How sad!

Op follow ur heart but me personally can NEVER date a lady financially above me Or financially below me that world is wicked all man don tear eye LOVE is not enough oo carry am for ur head ooo... golddiggers everywhere u have to be SMART COS EVEN MEN NOW SEF DON DEY SMART nobody dey marry financial burden this days..

MrMcJay:


You obviously are a young adult old enough to know what she wants. However, I'll point out a few things to you.

Firstly, men and women are wired differently. In matters of looks, money, age, education and class, men date downwards while women date upwards. Having a woman date downwards or sideways is abnormal. Hence, you're not a gold digger as your dating requirements are in accordance with nature. However, you should borrow yourself brain o!

As to the most guys being in their struggling phases, you should understand that nature has made it that we all won't bloom at the same time. Some are early bloomers and others bloom late. A bungalow can be finished in a month, but when building a superstructure, one month is not enough for the foundation alone. I believe that you should look beyond the present and consider the character, prospects and personality of a man.

The kind of men you seek are established men in their career, business and are comfortable. However, such men that fulfil such criteria and are suitable are within the ages of 30-40. You'll notice that such men are already married. If you wish to keep seeking made guys, I can assure you that you'll find them. My question for you is that when you find them, would you satisfy their requirements before they kick you out?

You can meet young and upwardly mobile young men at various places. Polo Club on Friday evenings, Churches in Lekki, VI and Ikoyi on Sundays. Also, you can volunteer at events in the aforementioned localities. Don't snub anyone and receive all with a smile, helps to attract good people.

Don't be desperate, never be snobbish; Be ready to build with your man; Don't despise the days of little beginnings; Don't always be about what you're getting from the relationship, give freely, Smile often and be prayerful. You'll meet wonderful people.

I know you find a good guy so that I can wear my white Agbada with sunshades and beards in my complete Yoruba demon outfit to celebrate with you.

Cheers.

Nice one.

missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

If you are my Sister I wont advise you to settle for less. its not worth it.

@Op

What you should be after is the man that can give you perpetual happiness.
See my sister wealth is dynamic i.e a very rich guy today may become extremely poor tomorrow and vice versa.
If you target an handsome guy, be ready for battle with random chicks as some ladies will go to any length to date an handsome man.
if you target a well educated man, you might not enjoy the relationship as he will be constantly preoccupied with academic pursuits and that will make your union miserable.

my advice,look for a gentle, serious,focus and loving guy who can give you happiness any time.

Dont based your choice on materialism or social class of the guy.

lastly pray,pray and pray because once you get it wrong at the first shot, you may suffer the consequences for the rest of your life.

for further advice you can send me a mail

beautiful232:
dear guys,May you never marry a woman that need marriage more than she needs you.

that's all I can say..

You have said it all. May God bless the home that raised you, my dear.

Alcatraz005:


You harsh ooooo. Na wa!

Well, I don't know if I'm totally correct but I do believe I'm not far from the truth. Remember I didn't focus on the person so much. I focused more on the family background. The kind of setting you come from, has a way of affecting you positively or negatively.

kay9:

You have said it all. May God bless the home that raised you, my dear.

amen dear.tnx friend

missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

Anywhere you can find true love do but never underate the power and the price it might likely come with.Ask yourself this few questions:
(1) when i was born,do i have money or end salary?
(2) Do i know the difference btw wealth and poverty?
(3) Do i know the difference btw unmade and readymade?
(4) can identify the touch of ready made man and unmade man?
(5) I was born poor in a pool of blood by another person. Assuming i was not taken care of,what would have become of me,will i survive to see the breakthrough?
(5) If i was made by someone,why should i not use the opportunity to make someone that is unmade financially?
(6) Is there any condition that is constant(c) and permanent (p)?
Therefore,use your instinct, your heart exactly the way you used it in identifying the love and touch of your dear mum when your were poor and needed her hands for help and she did.So, make use of that same heart and instict to locate your true love. Never allow the poor financial status of any one you truely love dicourage you from settling down with him. "Never can tell the pregnant future of the baby despise"

bloodmoneyspita:
OP following your career isn't worth it,

your more likely to go barren as you grow older, you need to drop one first. I'm telling you the truth.

career for women is a scam that's why women abroad are freezing their eggs.

so that if they decide to get a child at a certain age they can do it, don't forget by 29 you are already declining as a woman.

take my advise or leave it.

when you grow old, beautiful dogs and cats won't take you to the hospital if you have a doctor's appointment.

only grown up kids do that.

They were told that work was all about enjoyment. But lo and behold... It turned out to be a lie

U already know what u want sis...so no need been confused!

There's nothing wrong to want someone around ur level.

if it be the will of YAH that you marry a financially stable man, it shall be. and if not ? then you have to settle. let the broke man be the cross you have to carry. we all have our crosses that we bear daily. get a broke man and let him be your cross. in bearing that cross comes purification.
spiritual alchemy

missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

OP your concern is very real and serious. No doubt about that.
But one thing I can assure you is that you have to make up your mind that whatever decision you make you will be ready to Live with it.

No one has the right answers but God. As they say, man proposes, God disposes.

But I making your decision you have to consider every side of the argument. As such you need input from lots of people. Then you can take time to think about them.

I'd like to share some resources with you. PM me if you're interested. It's mostly blog post and following discussion.
Dont worry, this is not a stunt to get your contact. I live and work as an engineer in faraway Abu Dhabi and I'm not coming back soon. So pm me if you'd like to see what I want to show you.

Nedfed:
Problems with gals/ladies of nowadays.
OP I pray your case is not like dat of my female friend (Bimbo).
@26, she got an appointment with FIRS
Ever since no man worth her taste, she sees every young man that approach her has poor.
This how she live till she clock 34 with no man to settle with.
To cut the story short, she later got married to one Alhaji@ibadan with 3 wives as a result of no choice. Now the Alhaji has stopped her from working and make her a full house wife.

Just a lesson for the OP, no one is born to be poor. An average man today can still be the next billionaire 2moro.

Valid ...or let OP take one moment & come down from her high horse and reason this.

What happens (God forbid o) this job that's making her feel untouchable is taken from her?

This right here is the reason no man prays his wife gets more successful than he is.

Once women have money like this something else enters them.

Your resume is what some men look for. Eg me. Where do you reside or you can send mail templejulius97@gmail.com

TheLordIsGr8:


OP your concern is very real and serious. No doubt about that.
But one thing I can assure you is that you have to make up your mind that whatever decision you make you will be ready to Live with it.

No one has the right answers but God. As they say, man proposes, God disposes.

But I making your decision you have to consider every side of the argument. As such you need input from lots of people. Then you can take time to think about them.

I'd like to share some resources with you. PM me if you're interested. It's mostly blog post and following discussion.
Dont worry, this is not a stunt to get your contact. I live and work as an engineer in faraway Abu Dhabi and I'm not coming back soon. So pm me if you'd like to see what I want to show you.

This one is setting P

Wehdone o

U better dont settle for less...since u have it in mind to get married soon....go for someone who is financially stable with a good job....

kindly note that all struggling guys won't struggle forever, there are still some ambitious struggling guys out there but they only need capital to become someone in life. If u have a guy like that, just marry him and support him financially, u will smile at last. Take a look at me for example, I was earning 35k as a cashier in one micro-finance bank before I got married, after my wedding, my wife advised me to resign and invest in my dream business that she will support me financially. I listened to her and everything worked positively for me. I'm now a successful businessman.

refreshrate:


This one is setting P

Wehdone o

Why do you think everyone lies like you?
Then later you will tell OP not to worry that there are still good men left for her. But your attitude now just show that you don't believe a word of anything you say.
Ergo you have discredited yourself.

tempel:
Your resume is what some men look for. Eg me. Where do you reside or you can send mail templejulius97@gmail.com

Bros as at may you were still doing aptitude test. Be like the job don set. I'd strongly advise you calm down & use at least 18 - 24 months to settle yourself before all this nonsense you're trying to do.

Which resume?

Which men like you? You that your laptop was freezing & you no gree us hear word?

She should send mail? Even me sef dey feel sorry for OP for this...which kain talk be dis?

...it will surely end in the girl is too arrogant, make we bet am?

I'm looking for that independent lady to settle with...

TheLordIsGr8:


OP your concern is very real and serious. No doubt about that.
But one thing I can assure you is that you have to make up your mind that whatever decision you make you will be ready to Live with it.

No one has the right answers but God. As they say, man proposes, God disposes.

But I making your decision you have to consider every side of the argument. As such you need input from lots of people. Then you can take time to think about them.

I'd like to share some resources with you. PM me if you're interested. It's mostly blog post and following discussion.
Dont worry, this is not a stunt to get your contact. I live and work as an engineer in faraway Abu Dhabi and I'm not coming back soon. So pm me if you'd like to see what I want to show you.

I dey feel your scope bro. Go get her!

A girl's idea of a made man is another man's idea of a broke/struggling man.

Let's stay woke.

Rozaytee:
U better dont settle for less...since u have it in mind to get married soon....go for someone who is financially stable with a good job....

na wa oooo. What is wrong with our girls? Is it the economy or what? We are in race to the abyss. God help this nation.