Rorachy:
I assure you, I cant even hit even 25 without getting married and I still won't marry less.

When I say settle for less, it doesn't mean that I am planning to marry a very rich man.

I have my standards and am not lowering it for anyone.

RAT self get standard now, it's not every rat you find in the waste trash. You find some only in the supermarket and big stores, but we know what a RAT really is. So these standard talks make one looks silly babe.

chronique:


Well, I don't know if I'm totally correct but I do believe I'm not far from the truth. Remember I didn't focus on the person so much. I focused more on the family background. The kind of setting you come from, has a way of affecting you positively or negatively.

Yes @ bolded and the individual most especially. Will you say all the runsgirls are from a poor home? Hell No. Some runs girls get enough allowance from their families but No, they want to live beyond their limit. It appears to the males. I used to know Yahoo boys that were from rich home. I say it again, we have a social problem in Nigeria that's not a "respecter" of age, tribe or social class

NairaSand:


I respect your view....We poor people should marry ourselves. And you the rich should marry yourselves.

It makes perfect sense until you started judging everyone of us. If every party in a pool is gonna earn a reputation for what what a small minority/majority do, I wonder what the world will be like.

People like you are one extra reason why broke nigga like us want to "make it" so bad.

Lols.. very sordid view. Whoever thought that the fat girl will grow into Oprah Or that boy Rick Ross will be moulding the culture... Push it is the limit!!

sunshineR:


lol

i need to know who i'm dealing with and how she looks na

you need to know who u are dealing with?... u want to employ her?...or u guys av business transaction?... oga easy o......

futurism:


It is a good thing. Do not mind anyone who says otherwise. Keep the bar high and do not let the Nigerian Marriage disease destroy your dream. There are men who is at the level you want but sadly, they are hard to come by because lots of women flock around them and that makes you competing for their attention.

On second thought, if you meet a guy who has great potential but doesn't have the level you want and you know he won't abuse a privileged leverage, you can help him up... but be VERY SURE you know him well and that he wouldn't change after you help him o.

how many mid 20's age ladies can help a man to be financiallt independent? you are giving OP advice to keep her bar high. Did you ask her how much she earns and how much she expects her man to? Babe wey dey earn 80k go wan dey with guy wey dey earn 2mill for chevron. Forgetting that there are babes doing like 300-400 in Halli or BAT for instance. Nothing is impossible.. yes. She doesn't have to settle for less, yes. But what are her own expectations and how does she want to match it. You should ask that

chronique:


Well, I never said I was rich... Besides, I don't think it's about people earning a reputation for what others did as such. These things aren't easy to explain without one sounding somehow but the truth is, a lot of opinions are formed out of experience and other people's stories. It would interest you to know that my best friend at a time for 14 years was from a very poor wretched family but I didn't use that as a basis for being friends with him. My siblings and other friends would ask what I was doing with this riff raff but I always defended him. Would take food from the house to his house... At a point, I was embarrassed by a gf for coming to her birthday party with this dude... Several years later, this dude betrayed our friendship over a girl he met on the internet who promised to take him to yankee. Our friendship ended but he never went to America. The point is that somebody who could betray a 14yrs friendship just cos he was desperate to travel to Yankee, should never have been my friend in the first place. Same thing applies to dating.

he betrayed your friendship not because he is a rif raff. Hello, you never see rich man wey dey straff his friend wife? Enter the business world and see how the rich betray themselves over a few millions.

I see this... Just be prayerful and follow ya mind

.

Kennedy767:
you need to know who u are dealing with?... u want to employ her?...or u guys av business transaction?... oga easy o......

lmao
the bae is in search of someone (me) na and i gats know how she looks

anyways i have heard you sir
i'll go easy

Rukkydelta:
Please don't settle for less. I love independent and hardworking ladies like you
Settle for someone within your financial range or someone above
And I will advise you if you are christian to pray that God should give you a rightful partner
Wishing you all the best sis

When you are searching, you might find whom you looking for but when your heart trusts God and open, the right man will walk in tthrough that door of your heart.

Its not about status. Its about what your heart yearns for. Its neither in a well to do guy nor in a broke ass nigger. Its in where your heart belongs. God only can take you there.

You will eventually find a well to do or average guy who will not run you down, but if hes not the person your heart will keep wondering. Imagine someone who gives you everything you need yet you never fill satisfied or fulfilled. You keep staying because he's making lots of sacrifices which other guys can hardly make yet you not happy.

Am saying all of these because I know a few people whose lives are messed up. Who stay in marriage because they dont want parents, siblings, or kids to feel bad. You have all the time in the world to find or let that angel find you. Be patient. If your heath is fixed with social status, then thats what you'll find.

May God lead your Isaac to you like he lead Rebecca

missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

Date whoever makes u happy based on ur priorities and likes in a person.... Ur priorities shud be based on the right values. Hope that helps.

Rukkydelta:
Please don't settle for less. I love independent and hardworking ladies like you
Settle for someone within your financial range or someone above
And I will advise you if you are christian to pray that God should give you a rightful partner
Wishing you all the best sis

If that "rightful partner" given to her by God is beneath her status, she should do what?

Reread your advice to her again.

It's all about Faith, Hope, Peace and Love. God be with us.

missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

Settle for real love and happiness dear (which depends on your defination)! At the end all material/worldly things might mean nothing to you, but these eternal virtues will remain and hold you both.

sunshineR:


lmao
my guy i can imagine o

the thing dey pain..............i begged my neigbor and friend to go help me buy some foodstuffs she say only if i follow am

we reach market dat kain 10 comot there around 1 something
i weak no be small

.. ur own worse sha..

Babe bn later code....
Sharply tell her ,when it's comes to going to d market it's gone b all her....
she dey tell me say she no gree.. I jst dey laf in spiritual forces..

majekdom2:
Yes @ bolded and the individual most especially. Will you say all the runsgirls are from a poor home? Hell No. Some runs girls get enough allowance from their families but No, they want to live beyond their limit. It appears to the males. I used to know Yahoo boys that were from rich home. I say it again, we have a social problem in Nigeria that's not a "respecter" of age, tribe or social class

While I understand you clearly, I must also let you know that I have seen people from 3 social classes misbehave but then, I still insist that people from poor backgrounds tend to misbehave quite often. Have you ever been to a barrack before? Do you have an idea how children raised under such conditions behave? How many of them turn out well? Truth is people from such backgrounds tend to misbehave more than people from a better background and that is just the harsh truth even though it doesn't make everyone from a poor background bad. That being said, we all have our lives to live and should be allowed to make decisions. I relate with people from different backgrounds and I do learn from everyone but when it comes to marriage or dating, I'd never take that route. I know my kind of person and I know my weaknesses. I wouldn't allow myself to be taken advantage of all in the name of dating and loving.

majekdom2:
you don't want want marry a poor person for your selfish reasons. In Nigeria, integrity can't be attributed to one social class. Are your politicians not rich? Do you know how many babes that are from wealthy homes I have lashed and that time they all claimed to be in serious relationships. The most sincere babe I have dated can't be regarded as even average. Tho,
had siblings but they were not even responsible for her. My point is understand your partner and forget social class! Folorunsho Alakija was a tailor without a university degree... you must have said this same thing if you say her tie a ram years back. Today, who is she?? See there is fate and destiny but ambition, zeal, opportunity and foresight is very important. These are things one should look out for.

Not wanting to marry from a poor background has nothing to do with looking down on anyone. It's just me not being ready to open myself up to pretentious folks who could take advantage of my nature all in the name of loving. That's something that could happen to the OP. Let me give you an example. I once had someone I wanted to date who was doing better than me financially but I noticed other stuffs in her that I couldn't put up with and decided to quietly leave her alone. I shared it with some people much later during a convo and they called me a fool not taking advantage of her to travel to the US and after getting there, I could ditch her. More like using her. I personally, didn't even fancy the idea of traveling out cos I wasn't interested in it. I could understand them cos they're from the background that sees traveling out, as an achievement. Imagine such a lady dating any of these guys? What would be the outcome? She would have loved up and dated below her status only to end up being jilted. This is one of the reasons why I don't blame ladies who can't date below their level.

majekdom2:
he betrayed your friendship not because he is a rif raff. Hello, you never see rich man wey dey straff his friend wife? Enter the business world and see how the rich betray themselves over a few millions.

He betrayed our friendship cos he was desperate to travel out. His elder brother and sister had used the Libyan route to travel out. I on my part wasn't bothered about all that traveling isht. I'd gotten my admission to study in the UK long before then but ended up not traveling due to certain issues I had at home and I wasn't bothered about it. The girl in question who he hadn't met, asked him to choose between her relationship with him, and his friendship with me and he went with her. What was the problem? She went to a facebook page of a young business I was trying to build, and was cursing him with the "f" word and typing all manner of rubbish there. I asked her to refrain from doing so, as it was a business page, but should call him up to thrash whatever issues she had with him personally. Of course, she couldn't put up with my fuvck off attitude and I don't give two fuvcks if you're are an American, attitude. So she told him I insulted her and the slowpoke was bold enough to tell me I should have ignored all her stupid posts on the page. I told him bluntly that I wouldn't have them bring their personal issues to my page and the rest is history... Someone who isn't poverty stricken, would not see an internet relationship with a complete stranger, as the key to a better life. Any day, any time, I'd always advise people to run away from such folks as far as relationship is concerned.

missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

I totally understand your point here and to me there's nothing wrong with any one either male/woman thinking in this manner.

I personally also noticed I wasn't meeting the right caliber of potential partners so I moved to lekki, it's not gold digging, I've worked hard for myself & done quite well why should I not be able to have a say to whom I choose to share my life with? Even though I haven't found yet, at least my chances look brighter.

My friends who are already hooked or getting hooked, I question them with regards to their financial stability, both genders. As it bothers me when they say the other partner is financially stable so they know what they're doing, as they're sure their partner will make their live better.

Kindly don't settle for anyone you don't feel at optimum comfortable with.

On the other hand, holla if you wanna hang out.

chronique:



While I understand you clearly, I must also let you know that I have seen people from 3 social classes misbehave but then, I still insist that people from poor backgrounds tend to misbehave quite often. Have you ever been to a barrack before? Do you have an idea how children raised under such conditions behave? How many of them turn out well? Truth is people from such backgrounds tend to misbehave more than people from a better background and that is just the harsh truth even though it doesn't make everyone from a poor background bad. That being said, we all have our lives to live and should be allowed to make decisions. I relate with people from different backgrounds and I do learn from everyone but when it comes to marriage or dating, I'd never take that route. I know my kind of person and I know my weaknesses. I wouldn't allow myself to be taken advantage of all in the name of dating and loving.

My prayer for you is, you should meet a good woman that will love you truly then you will understand its an individual thing. People have married from barracks and marriage been successful and we have seen the wealthy not last even 2 years. I have met a chic that belongs to the very top class of the society, fiancee too, engaged... but yet sleep with men for a certain amount upwards. Tho fee high but there are men that can pay her because she is really beautiful. And in case you can't pay her, if you perhaps interest her and have a Big D. She can get down with you... No jokes or fake stories. Just pray life treats you fair in the choice of a partner

NairaSand:

Only if she'd come back to share. Good or Bad

It's left for her to decide.

Wow guys, I can't believe I made front page with my first thread i'm overwhelmed by the responses. There was a lot of good advice and a lot of pained advice and a lot of advice that may work for others but not for me. Thanks to all that commented, I hope you find your own true partner one day. With that in mind i'd like to clarify some things:
1. I don't look down on less advantaged people, i've dated some and their mindset didn't work for me. (Insecure and low ambition, the ones I dated sha)
2. I mentioned I want someone on my level, not a rich or ready made guy, however someone with potential from a good home would do well too
3. I live in a good estate on the Island (off Chevron drive) and my family are firmly middle class, there is a certain level of spouse they are expecting from me. Did you castigate Zahra Buhari for looking for and marrying a rich guy?
4. I was born abroad(US) and have the relevant papers, I am not looking for a meal ticket or a way out of Nigeria, I can leave any time
5. I earn above 350k a month and even if I lost this job, my level wouldn't change. However, I am determined not to rely on my family's wealth.
6. I assumed people would understand that money/family background is secondary to more important things like character, personality and interests(ain't marrying no Man U supporter) but if this wasn't obvious, that's my bad
7. I am 25, I just like saying mid 20's, i like the way it sounds
8. I'm not in a rush, i'm just curious about my future, ultimately I know I should trust in God more, he has my back.
9. Is it not on this same nairaland that people were saying a person earning less than X Naira shouldn't get married, that applies here too
10. It is also here that men are crying that their women who earn more than them have turned into the ogas of the house, i'd rather avoid issues like this please

Hmm that's all I can think of for now, thanks again guys.

missloluwa:
Wow guys, I can't believe I made front page with my first thread i'm overwhelmed by the responses. There was a lot of good advice and a lot of pained advice and a lot of advice that may work for others but not for me. Thanks to all that commented, I hope you find your own true partner one day. With that in mind i'd like to clarify some things:
1. I don't look down on less advantaged people, i've dated some and their mindset didn't work for me. (Insecure and low ambition, the ones I dated sha)
2. I mentioned I want someone on my level, not a rich or ready made guy, however someone with potential from a good home would do well too
3. I live in a good estate on the Island (off Chevron drive) and my family are firmly middle class, there is a certain level of spouse they are expecting from me. Did you castigate Zahra Buhari for looking for and marrying a rich guy?
4. I was born abroad(US) and have the relevant papers, I am not looking for a meal ticket or a way out of Nigeria, I can leave any time
5. I earn above 350k a month and even if I lost this job, my level wouldn't change. However, I am determined not to rely on my family's wealth.
6. I assumed people would understand that money/family background is secondary to more important things like character, personality and interests(ain't marrying no Man U supporter) but if this wasn't obvious, that's my bad
7. I am 25, I just like saying mid 20's, i like the way it sounds
8. I'm not in a rush, i'm just curious about my future, ultimately I know I should trust in God more, he has my back.
9. Is it not on this same nairaland that people were saying a person earning less than X Naira shouldn't get married, that applies here too
10. It is also here that men are crying that their women who earn more than them have turned into the ogas of the house, i'd rather avoid issues like this please

Hmm that's all I can think of for now, thanks again guys.

Since we stay in the same axis, i like to drop this final one....

ditch your car and go home using commercial vehicles, chances are you'll stumble into a guy that's still climbing the ladder, but meets your specifics...While 25 is young please be tact, start the relationship, cultivate it, see where life leads you...

chronique:


Well, I never said I was rich... Besides, I don't think it's about people earning a reputation for what others did as such. These things aren't easy to explain without one sounding somehow but the truth is, a lot of opinions are formed out of experience and other people's stories. It would interest you to know that my best friend at a time for 14 years was from a very poor wretched family but I didn't use that as a basis for being friends with him. My siblings and other friends would ask what I was doing with this riff raff but I always defended him. Would take food from the house to his house... At a point, I was embarrassed by a gf for coming to her birthday party with this dude... Several years later, this dude betrayed our friendship over a girl he met on the internet who promised to take him to yankee. Our friendship ended but he never went to America. The point is that somebody who could betray a 14yrs friendship just cos he was desperate to travel to Yankee, should never have been my friend in the first place. Same thing applies to dating.

Hahahaha typical Nigerians, that's how they are, hanging around like jewelry once they see you have advantages they wanna tap into...Been there too, i trust the dude is roaming the streets now...sowwie

Amhappy:
An average guy in a good career path will do. Even if he cannot match all your tastes,he can reason with you. And you will spur him to work hard. Don't settle for someone who you will carry his burden. All the best.

True, oh an average guy with dreams...


Some guys are walking oil wells that needs some fuel to propel them...Help them up, patapata 500k - 1M ( Its a little investment or the long term), be careful not to fall into a perpetual sluggard, for ladies that seek such, inject it into the dream of the individual and not become his burden bearer, and see him fire on all cylinders...There's are too many goal-oriented guys, but many of them look broke, which makes spotting them difficult...

Xisnin:
If you must settle for a struggling guy, please make sure you really know him
especially how he thinks.

Many Nigerian guys automatically see a more financially buoyant partner
as being arrogant and disrespectful and will only date such to pass time till
they are well off and then go for a non-career woman or a less successful
woman.

Majority are intimidated by intellect and money, so look before you leap!

True, best thing is tell a guy i earn 30-40%if a lady is a high earner cause it's an instant turn-off to many guys...Many run on the spot once they learn a lady is a high-earner...

missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

give me a year when I blow I'll come find you

supersystemsng:


Hahahaha typical Nigerians, that's how they are, hanging around like jewelry once they see you have advantages they wanna tap into...Been there too, i trust the dude is roaming the streets now...sowwie

I heard he finally moved to Italy last year or so. Funny thing is that, he had to lie to a girl he met through another of our friend, that he was traveling to Yankee. He didn't even tell this dude he was traveling even though they were planning to do some business together. It was the chic that eventually told him that his friend had travelled. I ran into this old friend early this year and he was lamenting about how the guy behaved before he left... Truth is, I stopped having a best friend after he misbehaved and I have made it clear to everyone I met after him, that I do not have a best friend and of course, owe no one any form of unnecessary loyalty. I can do away with them any time I feel like they're messing up. I do most of my things alone and I'm happy with it.

missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

A few years ago, I may have said you are proud but i really don't think so. You are right to have a specific picture of how you want your dream guy to be financially and otherwise. We want what we want and you are not likely to be happy if you settle for less. You only have to recognise there are some more important things that you must absolutely also watch out for. And i think you know that.

It would been a problem if you were one of these instagram slay queens who do nothing bu look for comfortable guys or "Godfearing" yahooboys. But that's not the case. You're asking only for what you have been able to acheive yourself. So its reasonable.

About where or how you can find this type of guy. . Anywhere... Just keep making friends and be nice to everyone. Smile.. You go dey alright.

missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

My dear, don't ever

I repeat don't ever settle for less

Have been there before and I can tell u with all Sincerity, don't ever ever settle for less.

Be patient. The kind of man you seek, will come your way. Shine your eyes very well. Most struggling guys these days, are just out to fucvk ,ask for money and eat your food.

I was once impatient, but now am no longer impatient and thank God, am now with the kind of man I desire and pray to marry. But I was very patient.

Biko, be patient and pray
.
Too many predators out there.
Peace

Nigerian men.. would careless

If you can cook.

Nigerian men ... grade women by their cooking skills not bank account

Our mother's spoilt us.. dedicated mother's have ensured that our interest in women is strongly correlAted with the kitchen.

Nigerian mother's treat their sons like princes and daughters like future queens.

In your dad's eyes ur a princesses but absolute power over a Nigerian man is derived from The kitchen..........

Nigerian queens own the kitchen.

Princesses manage the crumbs as mistresses .

However when a mistress takes over ur husband.. she can't only 4k better than.. she can cook far far better than u.