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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? (32831 Views)
Do We Really Have Guys Like This Nowadays? / "I Can't Settle For Less. If You Don't Have Money Back Off" - Nigerian Woman / Ladies, When You Are Ready To Settle Down, Don't Settle For These Men (2) (3) (4)
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Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 3:23pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
Rorachy:RAT self get standard now, it's not every rat you find in the waste trash. You find some only in the supermarket and big stores, but we know what a RAT really is. So these standard talks make one looks silly babe. 1 Like |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 3:29pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
chronique:Yes @ bolded and the individual most especially. Will you say all the runsgirls are from a poor home? Hell No. Some runs girls get enough allowance from their families but No, they want to live beyond their limit. It appears to the males. I used to know Yahoo boys that were from rich home. I say it again, we have a social problem in Nigeria that's not a "respecter" of age, tribe or social class |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 3:34pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
NairaSand:Lols.. very sordid view. Whoever thought that the fat girl will grow into Oprah Or that boy Rick Ross will be moulding the culture... Push it is the limit!! 1 Like |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Kennedy767(m): 3:35pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
sunshineR:you need to know who u are dealing with?... u want to employ her?...or u guys av business transaction?... oga easy o...... |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 3:41pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
futurism:how many mid 20's age ladies can help a man to be financiallt independent? you are giving OP advice to keep her bar high. Did you ask her how much she earns and how much she expects her man to? Babe wey dey earn 80k go wan dey with guy wey dey earn 2mill for chevron. Forgetting that there are babes doing like 300-400 in Halli or BAT for instance. Nothing is impossible.. yes. She doesn't have to settle for less, yes. But what are her own expectations and how does she want to match it. You should ask that |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 3:45pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
chronique:he betrayed your friendship not because he is a rif raff. Hello, you never see rich man wey dey straff his friend wife? Enter the business world and see how the rich betray themselves over a few millions. |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by icon007(m): 3:49pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
I see this... Just be prayerful and follow ya mind 1 Like 1 Share
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Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 3:53pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
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Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 4:13pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
Kennedy767: lmao the bae is in search of someone (me) na and i gats know how she looks anyways i have heard you sir i'll go easy |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by mark2sunny(m): 4:33pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
Rukkydelta: When you are searching, you might find whom you looking for but when your heart trusts God and open, the right man will walk in tthrough that door of your heart. Its not about status. Its about what your heart yearns for. Its neither in a well to do guy nor in a broke ass nigger. Its in where your heart belongs. God only can take you there. You will eventually find a well to do or average guy who will not run you down, but if hes not the person your heart will keep wondering. Imagine someone who gives you everything you need yet you never fill satisfied or fulfilled. You keep staying because he's making lots of sacrifices which other guys can hardly make yet you not happy. Am saying all of these because I know a few people whose lives are messed up. Who stay in marriage because they dont want parents, siblings, or kids to feel bad. You have all the time in the world to find or let that angel find you. Be patient. If your heath is fixed with social status, then thats what you'll find. May God lead your Isaac to you like he lead Rebecca |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by jaxxy(m): 4:35pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
missloluwa: Date whoever makes u happy based on ur priorities and likes in a person.... Ur priorities shud be based on the right values. Hope that helps. |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by jnrbayano(m): 4:59pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
Rukkydelta: If that "rightful partner" given to her by God is beneath her status, she should do what? Reread your advice to her again. |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by orisa37: 5:37pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
It's all about Faith, Hope, Peace and Love. God be with us. |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Jhamzy(m): 6:30pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
missloluwa: Settle for real love and happiness dear (which depends on your defination)! At the end all material/worldly things might mean nothing to you, but these eternal virtues will remain and hold you both. |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by JhyMedex: 6:46pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
sunshineR:.. ur own worse sha.. Babe bn later code.... Sharply tell her ,when it's comes to going to d market it's gone b all her.... she dey tell me say she no gree.. I jst dey laf in spiritual forces.. |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by chronique(m): 6:48pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
majekdom2: While I understand you clearly, I must also let you know that I have seen people from 3 social classes misbehave but then, I still insist that people from poor backgrounds tend to misbehave quite often. Have you ever been to a barrack before? Do you have an idea how children raised under such conditions behave? How many of them turn out well? Truth is people from such backgrounds tend to misbehave more than people from a better background and that is just the harsh truth even though it doesn't make everyone from a poor background bad. That being said, we all have our lives to live and should be allowed to make decisions. I relate with people from different backgrounds and I do learn from everyone but when it comes to marriage or dating, I'd never take that route. I know my kind of person and I know my weaknesses. I wouldn't allow myself to be taken advantage of all in the name of dating and loving. |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by chronique(m): 7:00pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
majekdom2: Not wanting to marry from a poor background has nothing to do with looking down on anyone. It's just me not being ready to open myself up to pretentious folks who could take advantage of my nature all in the name of loving. That's something that could happen to the OP. Let me give you an example. I once had someone I wanted to date who was doing better than me financially but I noticed other stuffs in her that I couldn't put up with and decided to quietly leave her alone. I shared it with some people much later during a convo and they called me a fool not taking advantage of her to travel to the US and after getting there, I could ditch her. More like using her. I personally, didn't even fancy the idea of traveling out cos I wasn't interested in it. I could understand them cos they're from the background that sees traveling out, as an achievement. Imagine such a lady dating any of these guys? What would be the outcome? She would have loved up and dated below her status only to end up being jilted. This is one of the reasons why I don't blame ladies who can't date below their level. 1 Like |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by chronique(m): 7:16pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
majekdom2: He betrayed our friendship cos he was desperate to travel out. His elder brother and sister had used the Libyan route to travel out. I on my part wasn't bothered about all that traveling isht. I'd gotten my admission to study in the UK long before then but ended up not traveling due to certain issues I had at home and I wasn't bothered about it. The girl in question who he hadn't met, asked him to choose between her relationship with him, and his friendship with me and he went with her. What was the problem? She went to a facebook page of a young business I was trying to build, and was cursing him with the "f" word and typing all manner of rubbish there. I asked her to refrain from doing so, as it was a business page, but should call him up to thrash whatever issues she had with him personally. Of course, she couldn't put up with my fuvck off attitude and I don't give two fuvcks if you're are an American, attitude. So she told him I insulted her and the slowpoke was bold enough to tell me I should have ignored all her stupid posts on the page. I told him bluntly that I wouldn't have them bring their personal issues to my page and the rest is history... Someone who isn't poverty stricken, would not see an internet relationship with a complete stranger, as the key to a better life. Any day, any time, I'd always advise people to run away from such folks as far as relationship is concerned. |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by xpensiv: 8:41pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
missloluwa: I totally understand your point here and to me there's nothing wrong with any one either male/woman thinking in this manner. I personally also noticed I wasn't meeting the right caliber of potential partners so I moved to lekki, it's not gold digging, I've worked hard for myself & done quite well why should I not be able to have a say to whom I choose to share my life with? Even though I haven't found yet, at least my chances look brighter. My friends who are already hooked or getting hooked, I question them with regards to their financial stability, both genders. As it bothers me when they say the other partner is financially stable so they know what they're doing, as they're sure their partner will make their live better. Kindly don't settle for anyone you don't feel at optimum comfortable with. On the other hand, holla if you wanna hang out. |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 8:47pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
chronique:My prayer for you is, you should meet a good woman that will love you truly then you will understand its an individual thing. People have married from barracks and marriage been successful and we have seen the wealthy not last even 2 years. I have met a chic that belongs to the very top class of the society, fiancee too, engaged... but yet sleep with men for a certain amount upwards. Tho fee high but there are men that can pay her because she is really beautiful. And in case you can't pay her, if you perhaps interest her and have a Big D. She can get down with you... No jokes or fake stories. Just pray life treats you fair in the choice of a partner 2 Likes |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by vuc1(m): 9:45pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
NairaSand:It's left for her to decide. |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by missloluwa(f): 11:06pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
Wow guys, I can't believe I made front page with my first thread i'm overwhelmed by the responses. There was a lot of good advice and a lot of pained advice and a lot of advice that may work for others but not for me. Thanks to all that commented, I hope you find your own true partner one day. With that in mind i'd like to clarify some things: 1. I don't look down on less advantaged people, i've dated some and their mindset didn't work for me. (Insecure and low ambition, the ones I dated sha) 2. I mentioned I want someone on my level, not a rich or ready made guy, however someone with potential from a good home would do well too 3. I live in a good estate on the Island (off Chevron drive) and my family are firmly middle class, there is a certain level of spouse they are expecting from me. Did you castigate Zahra Buhari for looking for and marrying a rich guy? 4. I was born abroad(US) and have the relevant papers, I am not looking for a meal ticket or a way out of Nigeria, I can leave any time 5. I earn above 350k a month and even if I lost this job, my level wouldn't change. However, I am determined not to rely on my family's wealth. 6. I assumed people would understand that money/family background is secondary to more important things like character, personality and interests(ain't marrying no Man U supporter) but if this wasn't obvious, that's my bad 7. I am 25, I just like saying mid 20's, i like the way it sounds 8. I'm not in a rush, i'm just curious about my future, ultimately I know I should trust in God more, he has my back. 9. Is it not on this same nairaland that people were saying a person earning less than X Naira shouldn't get married, that applies here too 10. It is also here that men are crying that their women who earn more than them have turned into the ogas of the house, i'd rather avoid issues like this please Hmm that's all I can think of for now, thanks again guys. 10 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 11:11pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
missloluwa: Since we stay in the same axis, i like to drop this final one.... ditch your car and go home using commercial vehicles, chances are you'll stumble into a guy that's still climbing the ladder, but meets your specifics...While 25 is young please be tact, start the relationship, cultivate it, see where life leads you... |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 11:16pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
chronique: Hahahaha typical Nigerians, that's how they are, hanging around like jewelry once they see you have advantages they wanna tap into...Been there too, i trust the dude is roaming the streets now...sowwie |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 11:20pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
Amhappy: True, oh an average guy with dreams... Some guys are walking oil wells that needs some fuel to propel them...Help them up, patapata 500k - 1M ( Its a little investment or the long term), be careful not to fall into a perpetual sluggard, for ladies that seek such, inject it into the dream of the individual and not become his burden bearer, and see him fire on all cylinders...There's are too many goal-oriented guys, but many of them look broke, which makes spotting them difficult... 3 Likes |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 11:29pm On Sep 07, 2017 |
Xisnin: True, best thing is tell a guy i earn 30-40%if a lady is a high earner cause it's an instant turn-off to many guys...Many run on the spot once they learn a lady is a high-earner... 1 Like |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by NUEL17(m): 1:38am On Sep 08, 2017 |
missloluwa:give me a year when I blow I'll come find you |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by chronique(m): 2:44am On Sep 08, 2017 |
supersystemsng: I heard he finally moved to Italy last year or so. Funny thing is that, he had to lie to a girl he met through another of our friend, that he was traveling to Yankee. He didn't even tell this dude he was traveling even though they were planning to do some business together. It was the chic that eventually told him that his friend had travelled. I ran into this old friend early this year and he was lamenting about how the guy behaved before he left... Truth is, I stopped having a best friend after he misbehaved and I have made it clear to everyone I met after him, that I do not have a best friend and of course, owe no one any form of unnecessary loyalty. I can do away with them any time I feel like they're messing up. I do most of my things alone and I'm happy with it. |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by OkunrinMeta: 3:13am On Sep 08, 2017 |
missloluwa: A few years ago, I may have said you are proud but i really don't think so. You are right to have a specific picture of how you want your dream guy to be financially and otherwise. We want what we want and you are not likely to be happy if you settle for less. You only have to recognise there are some more important things that you must absolutely also watch out for. And i think you know that. It would been a problem if you were one of these instagram slay queens who do nothing bu look for comfortable guys or "Godfearing" yahooboys. But that's not the case. You're asking only for what you have been able to acheive yourself. So its reasonable. About where or how you can find this type of guy. . Anywhere... Just keep making friends and be nice to everyone. Smile.. You go dey alright. |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 3:21am On Sep 08, 2017 |
missloluwa: My dear, don't ever I repeat don't ever settle for less Have been there before and I can tell u with all Sincerity, don't ever ever settle for less. Be patient. The kind of man you seek, will come your way. Shine your eyes very well. Most struggling guys these days, are just out to fucvk ,ask for money and eat your food. I was once impatient, but now am no longer impatient and thank God, am now with the kind of man I desire and pray to marry. But I was very patient. Biko, be patient and pray . Too many predators out there. Peace 1 Like |
Re: I'm A Young Female With A Good Job, Do I Really Have To Settle For Less? by Nobody: 4:12am On Sep 08, 2017 |
Nigerian men.. would careless If you can cook. Nigerian men ... grade women by their cooking skills not bank account Our mother's spoilt us.. dedicated mother's have ensured that our interest in women is strongly correlAted with the kitchen. Nigerian mother's treat their sons like princes and daughters like future queens. In your dad's eyes ur a princesses but absolute power over a Nigerian man is derived from The kitchen.......... Nigerian queens own the kitchen. Princesses manage the crumbs as mistresses . However when a mistress takes over ur husband.. she can't only 4k better than.. she can cook far far better than u. |
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