₦airaland Forum

majekdom2:
Some people are not just worth the stress. Can I ask if she is engaged in any activity or working? Some ladies believe a guy can't stick to a lady, so they feel they should do same. It may be one of her reasons. Just let go brother. One guy advised on another thread not to invest in kobo in time, resource and energy before getting married except you are 300 percent sure of the lady. But how sure can one be, as humans are unpredictable. Just move on bro. You will be making a great mistake continuing. Except you are extra nice, this pain may never disappear.

She's working.

Funny thing is, if you sit her down and ask her to tell you exactly the reason why she cheated, omo na looking things... No concrete reason. She might blame it on d devil that is in hell sipping molten champagne jeje

Magnifico2000:
Olly screwed up bigtime. Well i dont blame him completely, what those widlings epecially ygritte did to his parents made him despise them but he shouldnt have joined in the mutiny of his lord commander that gave him his trust of allowing him serve as his steward.

Back to the bolded, i can be your ned and you be my catelyn as they both have genuine love for eachother.

Oooohhh, no, Not really. Catelyn may not have been one of the more foolish people in G.O.T but she wasn't very wise either. Choose another couple

Daeylar:
I agree with this whole post completely.

let me rephrase my comment though, this is nice to see especially in the Nigerian context where it seems men are free to cheat, can give silly reasons for cheating and the wife is expected to forgive or manage it, while at the same time the wives are never expected to cheat, so to see someone not follow the crowd is always nice.

We are not talking about Nigeria or whatever, cheating is cheating and it is unfair to whoever is the victim simple. in this case the man was cheated on, a heart was broken simple.

Nightwatchknine:
Exactly what you get when you are dating ladies especially from IBADAN, damn they are some thing else,
Take a look at every marriage in ibadan virtually 70% of them are complete failure due to the infidelity that is dominant in the gene, I was a victim too but I survived, only a few of them can be trusted.

I'm from Ibadan, she's from Akwa Ibom. She was raised in Ibadan, anyway.

GudPpleG8Nation:
I rarely look into her phone, I was watching movies on her phone when the Whatsapp message came in and I don't see anything wrong in replying your spouse messages.
She do reply mine sometimes, I don't even carry my phone around anytime we're together.

Replying a message in your girl's social media account with someone you ain't mutual friends with is down right desperation, insecurity and neediness.

If she does it, she's insecure too and you needn't follow suit. It may be fun at the begining but overtime it would crank her up and irritate her.

TonyeBarcanista:
is she the only girl in the world?

No.

ConcernedNL:
We are not talking about Nigeria or whatever, cheating is cheating and it is unfair to whoever is the victim simple. in this case the man was cheated on, a heart was broken simple.

You could have just followed the conversation, it would have saved you the stress of typing this.

GudPpleG8Nation:
I'm typing this with heavy burden in heart. I'm getting crazy and weeping.

I met this lady over 6 years ago during my higher institution days, she was a fresher while I'm in my semi final year in school. Things were going well, we had sex after two years of the relationship(I'm the one that disvirgin her).

I have been very caring, stood by her and also,I let go of any ladies that comes my way. I didn't want anything that will stain the relationship. That doesn't mean I'm perfect however I have been trying my best to make her feel comfortable, loved and happy.

I started feeling comfortable and worried about my future with her because I discovered that anytime we had a misunderstanding, before you know it she has find a guy she will be dirty chatting with. She always say she's doing that to hurt my feelings.

I proposed last year, met her mum and one of her uncle and introduced her to my parents officially. Presently, waiting for her extended family to send the list for the traditional marriage.

I traveled to Ibadan on Friday to spend the weekend with her, on Sunday I just took her phone to watch movie when a Whatsapp message, I checked it and I replied the message. The guy called her, she was reluctant to pick the phone, she picked and spoke with the guy. After which the guy messaged her on Whatsapp that he called to confirm she's the one chatting with him and not her bf. I play along and started chatting with the guy. The guy was telling her to come visit him, I started twisting the guy and he was splitting out how he won't touch her when she comes. I confronted my girl, it took her over 8 hours to confessed that they had sex.

Jesus! This is a lady I invested a lot on, build my world around, every other ladies are shit in my presence. Even when I had 1000 of reasons to let go, I still stay with her but right now my world is shattered, I'm going crazy.
I need help because I'm dying, where will I start from (I'm 30 years old). Every negative thought of this world is running through my mind (from committing suicide to killing the guy to making the girl useless to herself for the rest of her life)

Na wa for some men oh. Woman wey u never marry you, you wan kill persin, you wan kill yourself, haba! Because u deflowered/disvirgin her doesn't means she can't have sex with another man.

The decision to have sex or not with other men is solely her own depend on the love she has for you. Most women love adventous, again u didnt tell us her age.

Analysiscorner:
I can understand your pain and agony . But, let's be honest. You initiated her into sex, and you are living in another state or city. It's possible that she became Hot and couldn't hold off the urge any longer. However, I blame her for not confessing before you found out.
Now the solution is, if you still love her, and she still loves you, then pick yourselves up and move on together.
Committing suicide because of the misdeeds of a spouse is not thoughtful at all. Your life didn't begin with her neither will it end with her

Distance is not an issue. I traveled down to Ibadan every two weeks and also, she comes to Lagos often.
I decided she moved to her parents house when I was transferred to Lagos so that she won't be too lonely.

GudPpleG8Nation:
I'm typing this with heavy burden in heart. I'm getting crazy and weeping.

I met this lady over 6 years ago during my higher institution days, she was a fresher while I'm in my semi final year in school. Things were going well, we had sex after two years of the relationship(I'm the one that disvirgin her).

I have been very caring, stood by her and also,I let go of any ladies that comes my way. I didn't want anything that will stain the relationship. That doesn't mean I'm perfect however I have been trying my best to make her feel comfortable, loved and happy.

I started feeling comfortable and worried about my future with her because I discovered that anytime we had a misunderstanding, before you know it she has find a guy she will be dirty chatting with. She always say she's doing that to hurt my feelings.

I proposed last year, met her mum and one of her uncle and introduced her to my parents officially. Presently, waiting for her extended family to send the list for the traditional marriage.

I traveled to Ibadan on Friday to spend the weekend with her, on Sunday I just took her phone to watch movie when a Whatsapp message, I checked it and I replied the message. The guy called her, she was reluctant to pick the phone, she picked and spoke with the guy. After which the guy messaged her on Whatsapp that he called to confirm she's the one chatting with him and not her bf. I play along and started chatting with the guy. The guy was telling her to come visit him, I started twisting the guy and he was splitting out how he won't touch her when she comes. I confronted my girl, it took her over 8 hours to confessed that they had sex.

Jesus! This is a lady I invested a lot on, build my world around, every other ladies are shit in my presence. Even when I had 1000 of reasons to let go, I still stay with her but right now my world is shattered, I'm going crazy.
I need help because I'm dying, where will I start from (I'm 30 years old). Every negative thought of this world is running through my mind (from committing suicide to killing the guy to making the girl useless to herself for the rest of her life)

If she is remorseful over the the whole event and u see a high level of sincerity in her that she is truly sorry. forgive her and move on. there are no angels on earth

Adaumunocha:
Funny thing is, if you sit her down and ask her to tell you exactly the reason why she cheated, omo na looking things... No concrete reason. She might blame it on d devil that is in hell sipping molten champagne jeje

Lol. It's always the devil. I bet if he is given a chance to repent by God, he wouldn't think twice just so as to avoid all the heavy accusations that he had nothing to do with.

chronique:
Yes o! A very "simple one". She was walking on the road one day and it rained and there was a nakked guy with an erect dick on the floor but she did not know, and as she was trying to jump a pool of water, she landed on the slippery part of the ground and her clothes tore immediately, and her bra and pants removed and she fell on the erect dick on the floor that she didn't see, and the ground started bouncing she and the guy until they both came... It was just a very "simple mistake".

The worst part of infidelity, is when people say it was a mistake. Sometimes, I'm tempted to believe most people do not understand English. It would be easier for me to take, when someone says, "I know I messed up and misbehaved", than to hear that it was a mistake. A mistake is something done unintentionally and nobody cheats unintentionally. From the period of chatting and talking till they have sex, it is usually planned.
A mistake is different from when someone misbehaved.

Tell me something I don't know. Its a pity though.

guy,forget about marriage for now and focus on your career and how to make this benjis . if we tell you guys such before,you see us like we love money too much. why must you invest anything on a lady and worry yourself? make your money,you're only 30 and still young, don't allow anybody to force you into marriage or wherever and don't think long courtship makes a successful marriage and I'm advising you once again,chase Benjis rather than giving your heart to a woman,you have enough time,flex,enjoy yourself,hustle,make money,never get into any relationship for now,maybe have flings and any lady you pick after you've made enough money will stay glued to you. women love comfort and their search for comfort and extra money is what forces them into cheating but if you make your money,you can control how you like and she would be very careful so as not to lose you. an advice is enough for the wise. I don tell you my own o like I go tell my brother

guy,forget about marriage for now and focus on your career and how to make this benjis . if we tell you guys such before,you see us like we love money too much. why must you invest anything on a lady and worry yourself? make your money,you're only 30 and still young, don't allow anybody to force you into marriage and don't think long courtship makes a successful marriage and I'm advising you once again,chase Benjis rather than giving your heart to a woman,you have enough time,flex,enjoy yourself,hustle,make money,never get into any relationship for now,maybe have flings and any lady you pick after you've made enough money will stay glued to you. women love comfort and their search for comfort and extra money is what forces them into cheating but if you make your money,you can control how you like and she would be very careful so as not to lose you. an advice is enough for the wise. I don tell you my own o like I go tell my brother

Rajosh:
forget about the girl and relationships for now. I broke up with my ex two years ago. I'm still single as I don't wanna go through that lane at least not for now. no girlfriend no worries. you may be looking at your age but trust me, you'll be better off single than In a bad relationship. Love will come when it'll come.

Aww dats sad. Seems you are not over the pain yet.
wish you all the best bro. Love comes at a time u dnt expect so dnt give up

saudi95:
Gentle man,
Firstly' calm down just by yourself, don't have any thought that could lead you to where you did not bargain for. your fiancée knew she has done something wrong and with the pure love you have for her, she would be looking up to you to pardon her. I have being there and won the war. it happen twenty one years ago friend, the happen will really shake your life' but what of if you are the one caught in the situation. just try and have a second thought about life and what surrounded it. people are right about you can forgive her but may not be able to carry the burden to forget. only people with similar experience could advice you rightly o man. to be a man, you have to pass through some ruff areas of life bro.
you only read some text form the other guy which I know will run you mad, but my spare boy friend took my fiancee away at night and return her back to me in the morning like someone borrowed a spare of shoe from you at night and the following morning return it and say oh I thought it was a brown shoe I din't know it was an off brown black shoe. I forgive her after some times of pleadings from left and right and let go. we have boys and a girl and the family doing good as she would never want a repeat of that to come my way again in her life time. so bro calm down, give her a little space for now, talk to her about it later, forge a good way forward and come over it together.

op, this is the best advise have seen so far, if you still love her. i think its better you call her and talk to her. Thank GOD you even find out, what if you dont know at all. most of the advise on nairaland are from the ones that are also practicing the same thing. but in all brace yourself up, if you still want to continue with the Relationship, please do, but you can purnish her for that. how are you sure of the next girl you going to meet. it is your life and it is your decision. dont follow advise that you will later regret.

Moganajoe:
Na wa for some men oh. Woman wey u never marry you, you wan kill persin, you wan kill yourself, haba! Because u deflowered/disvirgin her doesn't means she can't have sex with another man.

The decision to have sex or not with other men is solely her own depend on the love she has for you. Most women love adventous, again u didnt tell us her age.

So you mean it's right she's having sex with another man? 26 years ago.

PierreDeFermat:
guy,forget about marriage for now and focus on your career and how to make this benjis . if we tell you guys such before,you see us like we love money too much. why must you invest anything on a lady and worry yourself? make your money,you're only 30 and still young, don't allow anybody to force you into marriage and don't think long courtship makes a successful marriage and I'm advising you once again,chase Benjis rather than giving your heart to a woman,you have enough time,flex,enjoy yourself,hustle,make money,never get into any relationship for now,maybe have flings and any lady you pick after you've made enough money will stay glued to you. women love comfort and their search for comfort and extra money is what forces them into cheating but if you make your money,you can control how you like and she would be very careful so as not to lose you. an advice is enough for the wise. I don tell you my own o like I go tell my brother

OGA, woman are the most dangerous being on earth. you cant be sure of their moves. all this you wrote are just stories

GudPpleG8Nation:
I'm typing this with heavy burden in heart. I'm getting crazy and weeping.

I met this lady over 6 years ago during my higher institution days, she was a fresher while I'm in my semi final year in school. Things were going well, we had sex after two years of the relationship(I'm the one that disvirgin her).

I have been very caring, stood by her and also,I let go of any ladies that comes my way. I didn't want anything that will stain the relationship. That doesn't mean I'm perfect however I have been trying my best to make her feel comfortable, loved and happy.

I started feeling comfortable and worried about my future with her because I discovered that anytime we had a misunderstanding, before you know it she has find a guy she will be dirty chatting with. She always say she's doing that to hurt my feelings.

I proposed last year, met her mum and one of her uncle and introduced her to my parents officially. Presently, waiting for her extended family to send the list for the traditional marriage.

I traveled to Ibadan on Friday to spend the weekend with her, on Sunday I just took her phone to watch movie when a Whatsapp message, I checked it and I replied the message. The guy called her, she was reluctant to pick the phone, she picked and spoke with the guy. After which the guy messaged her on Whatsapp that he called to confirm she's the one chatting with him and not her bf. I play along and started chatting with the guy. The guy was telling her to come visit him, I started twisting the guy and he was splitting out how he won't touch her when she comes. I confronted my girl, it took her over 8 hours to confessed that they had sex.

Jesus! This is a lady I invested a lot on, build my world around, every other ladies are shit in my presence. Even when I had 1000 of reasons to let go, I still stay with her but right now my world is shattered, I'm going crazy.
I need help because I'm dying, where will I start from (I'm 30 years old). Every negative thought of this world is running through my mind (from committing suicide to killing the guy to making the girl useless to herself for the rest of her life)

just calm down brov....give her a second chance. we all have done some cheating in the past we ain't proud of. I believe you should dialogue with her. if she is repentant. then let nothing hold you two back from tying the knot. Nobody is holy brov.....

Shmourda:
op, this is the best advise have seen so far, if you still love her. i think its better you call her and talk to her. Thank GOD you even find out, what if you dont know at all. most of the advise on nairaland are from the ones that are also practicing the same thing. but in all brace yourself up, if you still want to continue with the Relationship, please do, but you can purnish her for that. how are you sure of the next girl you going to meet. it is your life and it is your decision. dont follow advise that you will later regret.

How can I punish her? I haven't been picking her calls

chronique:
Yes o! A very "simple one". She was walking on the road one day and it rained and there was a nakked guy with an erect dick on the floor but she did not know, and as she was trying to jump a pool of water, she landed on the slippery part of the ground and her clothes tore immediately, and her bra and pants removed and she fell on the erect dick on the floor that she didn't see, and the ground started bouncing she and the guy until they both came ... It was just a very "simple mistake".

The worst part of infidelity, is when people say it was a mistake. Sometimes, I'm tempted to believe most people do not understand English. It would be easier for me to take, when someone says, "I know I messed up and misbehaved", than to hear that it was a mistake. A mistake is something done unintentionally and nobody cheats unintentionally. From the period of chatting and talking till they have sex, it is usually planned.
A mistake is different from when someone misbehaved.

And the ground started bouncing,
This took me out

GudPpleG8Nation:
How can I punish her? I haven't been picking her calls

Good one, even if you are still gonna forgive dont forgive her cheaply. you should even be grateful you disvirgined her and she has just 2 body counts. most of the girls that are advising you to leave her have lost their body count. this is your decision, if you can forget it and forgive good, otherwise let her go.

on a lighter mood, you have slept with more than 3 girls too and hope you know they are somebody wife too
its always a joke until its about you bro

GudPpleG8Nation:
Thank you so much, sir.
The lady has been begging me. I saw her mom before I traveled back to Lagos yesterday morning, she kneeled down, begging me (she was heartbroken, she never believed until I played the confession recording to her).
Her mom have been calling to beg. I'm very Confused right now, I don't know what to do and how to go about it?

My brother, if you marry this girl you'll be faced with lots of issues which might eventually lead to divorce. First how do you wanna cope with her knowing she's cheated once? You may try to forgive her but you can never forget. Secondly, about being remorseful, what if you hadn't caught her? People only feel sorry and become remorseful when caught. She is not a wife material. This is a fact

MaziOmenuko:
There you go, OP. You both are made for each other, can you guys get married already? Vikky pls don't say no to a broken heart. Misery loves company and this dude right here can make a good company. What say thee??

Mazi ke ihe ina ako? biko kwa. I'm just trying to tell him that he is younger than my ex. besides if he wants to quit he need to be single for at least 6 months to heal before starting a new one.

GudPpleG8Nation:
I'm typing this with heavy burden in heart. I'm getting crazy and weeping.

I met this lady over 6 years ago during my higher institution days, she was a fresher while I'm in my semi final year in school. Things were going well, we had sex after two years of the relationship(I'm the one that disvirgin her).

I have been very caring, stood by her and also,I let go of any ladies that comes my way. I didn't want anything that will stain the relationship. That doesn't mean I'm perfect however I have been trying my best to make her feel comfortable, loved and happy.

I started feeling comfortable and worried about my future with her because I discovered that anytime we had a misunderstanding, before you know it she has find a guy she will be dirty chatting with. She always say she's doing that to hurt my feelings.

I proposed last year, met her mum and one of her uncle and introduced her to my parents officially. Presently, waiting for her extended family to send the list for the traditional marriage.

I traveled to Ibadan on Friday to spend the weekend with her, on Sunday I just took her phone to watch movie when a Whatsapp message, I checked it and I replied the message. The guy called her, she was reluctant to pick the phone, she picked and spoke with the guy. After which the guy messaged her on Whatsapp that he called to confirm she's the one chatting with him and not her bf. I play along and started chatting with the guy. The guy was telling her to come visit him, I started twisting the guy and he was splitting out how he won't touch her when she comes. I confronted my girl, it took her over 8 hours to confessed that they had sex.

Jesus! This is a lady I invested a lot on, build my world around, every other ladies are shit in my presence. Even when I had 1000 of reasons to let go, I still stay with her but right now my world is shattered, I'm going crazy.
I need help because I'm dying, where will I start from (I'm 30 years old). Every negative thought of this world is running through my mind (from committing suicide to killing the guy to making the girl useless to herself for the rest of her life)

dude she ain't yours she was just a time bomb waiting to explode, more so shit happens in life some av experience worst things than that yet they were able to move on with their lives,my brother only a fool will die because of a woman just move on ur future wife she is out there waiting for you to locate her, not the bitch who deserted u wen u needed her d most i wish u all d best bro.

My dear just av a re-think,that is exactly d same problem am facing nw,there is dis guy I suspected with my girlfrd,thoug she told me there r just frds,bt yesterday d guys girlfrd called and told me that d boyfrd said he as fuk my girlfrd.and wen I confronted my girfrd she lied.bt later she accepted everything that it happen wen she was nt sure of me.i av forgiven her.

Daeylar:
I promise to stab it *in night watch voice* or eat it *in daenerys targaryen voice, lol,

Was there any nice thing done to hearts in G.O.T?

You made me rewatch that scene of John snow being stabbed, Jon Snow's reaction to olly broke my heart. lol.

What is it?

Get something positive (your hubby, reading, religion, career etc) to focus your energy (physical, mental, emotional) to at this moment.
Take a break and heal, then you can objectively make a decision.

JonSnow:
What is it?

LMAO
Lol,

Nothing, was just talking about when they stabbed you to death .

How was it like being dead?

HarunaWest:
N*gga your a blaady fool....she isn't married to yah she doesn't owe you any loyalty..she has a right to sleep about,if you decided not to,ain't her fault.....I hate when some guys come here to say a girlfriend cheated on them, like they were married to her,...mtscheeeeeew

This is harsh brother!

I know how that guy feels, e no easy aswear!
did you also read the part he said he was expecting a list from her people? which means OP was already planning to settle down with the said girl. it's a huge set back for that guy. try to be more human to him brother.