₦airaland Forum

kimbraa:
You can't jam me in life 'cause I no be mumu. Secondly, when a guy tries too hard to prove to people he's something only means he's nothing.

They only class of women who get easily fooled are the desperate ones, while a man who truly loves or a lady who truly loves could get fooled 'cause love clouds ones judgement.

LOL no p. Time will tell. Just pray Enjoy your nairaland ecstasy

ImaIma1:
This the reason why women should think twice before lending money to their bf. This kind of reverse psychology and emotional blackmail.

He should return the money and stop avoiding her calls

LordKO:
@OP

Don't allow anyone to guilt trip you into believing that you're wrong with your actions. For one, a debtor remains a slave to his creditor until he redeems his pledge, therefore, it behove on him to pacify you, either by reimbursing you within the agreed time frame or give you cogent reason why you should grant him more grace of time to enable him reimburse you (in case if he's not in good financial stead yet). What you owe him (if he comes out clean) at this point in time is understanding since both of you had a romantic relationship. His said acts of avoiding effective communications with you in particular and keeping you in suspense in general smack of ungratefulness and conceit on his part - whether he has genuine intentions or not is irrelevant.

As for those talking about "men ego" as they reason for his irritating attitude, didn't he realize that he has ego problem before he solicited for the financial assistance/partnership from her? I mean, only small-minded people exhibits ego - effacement and humbleness remains the best recipe for any sane person (business person or not) that wishes to attain a greater height in the business world in particular and life in general. It's unfortunate that small-minded people do mistake virtues like self-effacing, humbleness, sincerity and compassion as signs of weakness on the side of one that possesses them. In fact, the worst mistake someone of the noble leanings can ever make is having someone of the small-minded leanings as a partner/friend.

Loyalty is like a two-way traffic light, its reciprocal. People should stop mixing up disingenuousness for cleverness. Someone that ethically doesn't merit a loan from another isn't worth keeping closely - I dislike small-minded people. So also as one who can't extend a loan to his prudential partner/friend isn't worth keeping closely too - self-centered and selfish people irritates me. Whenever I look around what I normally see are frenemies that disguises themselves as partners/friends; Pretense, disingenuousness, feeble-mindedness and hypocrisy are the order of the day.

On the flip side, it's irritatingly appalling that many (both sexes) has turned this forum to their aggression visit ground. If someone somewhere betrayed/dumped you - with or without your making - that shouldn't be reason enough to develop needless hatred for the opposite sex or being biased when an issue relating to an opposite sex is being discussed. A thread like this shouldn't be a battle ground for people with bitter life experience or misandrists or misogynists or chauvinists.

thesuave10:
[b]LOL. trust me it's everywhere. It's in every society but it differs from place to place. In the usa it's way worse. Some Asian countries have the lowest but Naija's own I gotta tell you it's very high. I don't blame ladies that much for having that feeling but all of them have blown the stuff out of proportion. The female mind is very easy to understand and very very easy to manipulate. That's why she has flipped so easily from love to no love without hardcore evidence. Like I see these things everyday. She's not the first and she won't be the last. Humans not just women are so easily influenced by stereotype. They think "learn from past experiences means you should shut out the present issue" to many people it's white and black and this is the most stupid way of reasoning. Women are highly irrational so they can't towards a grey area. If it's not white then it should be black like WTF? sha like I said earlier and I'll say it again. MEN MUST MANIPULATE WOMEN BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW THEMSELVES. IN SOME CASES NEVER TELL A WOMAN THE HONEST TO GOD TRUTH. WOMEN CAN'T CONTROL THEMSELVES. DON'T LIE BUT DEPENDING ON THE SITUATION NEVER TELL ALL OF THE TRUTH. As I am now nothing a woman says does thinks or acts can surprise me. Women ask me sometimes how I'm able to handle them and get THEM LOL and its simple. I understand them more than themselves. It's your duty as a man to understand your woman Cuz they are like your little babies you must guide. If you neglect a child, the child will go crazy. Same thing with women. Dude fûcked up by not picking her calls but I understand why. It's wrong tho but I understand it and now the lady is making an even bigger mistake(as expected) and that is she is acting on her emotions. This is how ALL women are their emotions always control their heads but if she can just be rational for just this once she'll be grateful [/b]

Maduawuchukwu:
I really like that ur statement that "they think learn from the past means u neglect present issues". That is the observation deep thinkers make and if they work on it they become big winners. The fact that something failed once does not mean it will fail again. Chances can swing you bad or good in any situation. This stereotype of "never again" or "once bitten twice shy" is one of the fundamental challenges humans face.

MissJoy29:
Hmmmm...you won't understand. But I'm serious.

pocohantas:
If you wanna see crashing, open a thread next week saying I borrowed money from you without paying. You'll see the difference in their comments.

You date broke guy...wahala.
You date rich guy...they call you gold digger.

Nigerian men, una get conscience at all??

OLUJOSHINS:
What is the point of saying for better for worse if you will treat your man like a complete stranger in a situation like this.


Believe me, He will pay her back. He might just be taking time to come to terms with the character she showed him when He was down.

LordKO:
@OP

Don't allow anyone to guilt trip you into believing that you're wrong with your actions. For one, a debtor remain a slave to his creditor until he redeem his pledge, therefore, it behove on him to pacify you either by reimbursing you within the agreed time frame or give you cogent reason why you should grant him more grace of time to enable him reimburse you (in case if he's not in good financial stead yet). What you owe him (if he comes out clean) at this point in time is understanding since both of you had a romantic relationship. His said acts of avoiding effective communications with you in particular and keeping you in suspense in general smack of ungratefulness and conceit on his part - whether he has genuine intentions or not is irrelevant.

As for those talking about "men ego" as they reason for his irritating attitude, didn't he realize that he has ego problem before he solicited for the financial assistance/partnership from her? I mean, only small-minded people exhibits ego - effacement and humbleness remains the best recipe for any sane person (business person or not) that wishes to attain a greater height in the business world in particular and life in general. It's unfortunate that small-minded people do mistake virtues like self-effacing, humbleness, sincerity and compassion as signs of weakness on the side of one that possesses them. In fact, the worst mistake someone of the noble leanings can ever make is having someone of the small-minded leanings as a partner/friend.

Loyalty is like a two-way traffic light, its reciprocal. People should stop mixing up disingenuousness for cleverness. Someone that ethically doesn't merit a loan from another isn't worth keeping closely - I dislike small-minded people. So also as one who can't extend a loan to his prudential partner/friend isn't worth keeping closely too - self-centered and selfish people irritates me. Whenever I look around what I normally see are frenemies that disguises themselves as partners/friends; Pretense, disingenuousness, feeble-mindedness and hypocrisy are the order of the day.

On the flip side, it's irritatingly appalling that many (both sexes) has turned this forum to their aggression visit ground. If someone somewhere betrayed/dumped - with or without your making - that shouldn't be reason enough to develop needless hatred for the opposite sex or being biased when an issue relating to an opposite sex is being discussed. A thread like this shouldn't be a battle ground for people with bitter life experience or misandrists or misogynists or chauvinists.

thesuave10:
Well the only reason I will call this post an utter waste of data is because you made just Lil sense which is irrelevant to the issue. I want to enlighten you and others but I must commend you for trying to think deeply even though you stopped as soon as you started.

Now, from the beginning of your post to end I can smell bias written all over it. I can also see you have failed to understand the comments on the other side of the argument. Let me make things clearer for you. A debtor remains a slave to a creditor that is true. now you have successfully used horrendous statement to justify your point. The reason why slave comes up is because most the creditor makes it seem that way. The creditor carries 95% of the blame for that tag slavery and we all know that slavery is never a good thing. The way a creditor and a debtor handles issues is important. People fail to realize this, some how people always say after all I borrowed him the money, he should get all the blame. . now I don't want to believe you have an issue understanding a situation. Refusing to pick her calls but replying her texts is not a sign of ungratefulness. From your statement about frenemies it shows that you are still caged by stereotype. The young man's action is understandable, the lady's feeling is also understandable. You have every right to feel sad and disappointed BUT THE PROBLEM IS MAKING RASH ACTIONS FROM THESE FEELINGS. Oj Simpson went to jail for 9 yrs because a friend of his took his property and he went with some guys with guns to collect it back. I don't give a rat's ass about this. She is feeling bad that's OK but don't make a rash action and tell me your justified. There's a difference between feelings and actions. She feels bead and that's understandable but everyone on this side of the argument is simply saying that her actions to end the relationship for the sole reason if phone calls us absurd


Now about the male ego, I agree with you that the male ego is a huge problem infact there's a thin line between pride and insecurity. But my man you're making fallacies. Borrowing money might not be much to him but now listen carefully THE FACT THAT HE HAS REALISED IT MIGHT TAKE HIM TIME TO PAY IS THE REASON FOR THIS ACTION. HE FEELS SAD AND DEPRESSED. hearing his woman complain or shout might make him feel worse. When you see a problem ask why? Humility and compassion are clearly important. Take note again nobody is saying the man is right. Your just being biased and your brain has tricked into seeing what you want to see. The man is wrong BECAUSE A REAL MAN FACES HIS PROBLEMS but the lady is also wrong BECAUSE THIS IS NOT HOW TO HANDLE SUCH CRISES.

this third part is the most foolish part of your post. Loyalty? Are you kidding me? How the fûck does this mean his disloyal. Something went wrong and I'm texting you to tell you I'll pay you back but without a given date is disloyal? buy a dictionary bros Oxford preferably

Your last paragraph is supported

LordKO:
You're about the most foolish person I've ever come across on this forum. Kindly vamoose and look for your small-minded mates elsewhere because I don't normally join issue with people least of all a mentally slow person like you.

I don't need your validation to substantiate my pronouncement.

Believe it or not you're of foolish specie and you lack the ability to reason. A big mind without sense and reason is useless in every situation. Ponder on what I wrote there's enough juice there to fuel your archaic brain

thesuave10:
Believe it or not you're of foolish specie and you lack the ability to reason. A big mind without sense and reason is useless in every situation. Ponder on what I wrote there's enough juice there to fuel your archaic brain

LordKO:
@OP

Don't allow anyone to guilt trip you into believing that you're wrong with your actions. For one, a debtor remains a slave to his creditor until he redeems his pledge, therefore, it behove on him to pacify you, either by reimbursing you within the agreed time frame or give you cogent reason why you should grant him more grace of time to enable him reimburse you (in case if he's not in good financial stead yet). What you owe him (if he comes out clean) at this point in time is understanding since both of you had a romantic relationship. His said acts of avoiding effective communications with you in particular and keeping you in suspense in general smack of ungratefulness and conceit on his part - whether he has genuine intentions or not is irrelevant.

As for those talking about "men ego" as they reason for his irritating attitude, didn't he realize that he has ego problem before he solicited for the financial assistance/partnership from her? I mean, only small-minded people exhibits ego - effacement and humbleness remains the best recipe for any sane person (business person or not) that wishes to attain a greater height in the business world in particular and life in general. It's unfortunate that small-minded people do mistake virtues like self-effacing, humbleness, sincerity and compassion as signs of weakness on the side of one that possesses them. In fact, the worst mistake someone of the noble leanings can ever make is having someone of the small-minded leanings as a partner/friend.

Loyalty is like a two-way traffic light, its reciprocal. People should stop mixing up disingenuousness for cleverness. Someone that ethically doesn't merit a loan from another isn't worth keeping closely - I dislike small-minded people. So also as one who can't extend a loan to his prudential partner/friend isn't worth keeping closely too - self-centered and selfish people irritates me. Whenever I look around what I normally see are frenemies that disguises themselves as partners/friends; Pretense, disingenuousness, feeble-mindedness and hypocrisy are the order of the day.

On the flip side, it's irritatingly appalling that many (both sexes) has turned this forum to their aggression visit ground. If someone somewhere betrayed/dumped you - with or without your making - that shouldn't be reason enough to develop needless hatred for the opposite sex or being biased when an issue relating to an opposite sex is being discussed. A thread like this shouldn't be a battle ground for people with bitter life experience or misandrists or misogynists or chauvinists.

missyadorable:
I wonder oooo

The babe no wise..She exposed her financial position to the guy.what she doesn't know is that being a financially independent and comfortable lady in Nigeria is a major disadvantage.

Naija men can rant all they can on social media about hating dependent ladies and preferring independent ladies but in reality,its the opposite.
They actually prefer ladies who present themselves as broke,needy thus massaging their male ego as they provide.
once you come acting all so made and independent,they will see you as a meal ticket,chop you,run you down and use your money to enjoy with another girl who shows them that "needy,brokeness"....

As a lady,no matter how rich you are,pretend you are not.
Hide it,to avoid falling victim to scammers like this op's so called fiance.
If you have 2M in your account,give your man the impression that you have only 200k

LordKO:
@OP

Don't allow anyone to guilt trip you into believing that you're wrong with your actions. For one, a debtor remains a slave to his creditor until he redeems his pledge, therefore, it behove on him to pacify you, either by reimbursing you within the agreed time frame or give you cogent reason why you should grant him more grace of time to enable him reimburse you (in case if he's not in good financial stead yet). What you owe him (if he comes out clean) at this point in time is understanding since both of you had a romantic relationship. His said acts of avoiding effective communications with you in particular and keeping you in suspense in general smack of ungratefulness and conceit on his part - whether he has genuine intentions or not is irrelevant.

As for those talking about "men ego" as they reason for his irritating attitude, didn't he realize that he has ego problem before he solicited for the financial assistance/partnership from her? I mean, only small-minded people exhibits ego - effacement and humbleness remains the best recipe for any sane person (business person or not) that wishes to attain a greater height in the business world in particular and life in general. It's unfortunate that small-minded people do mistake virtues like self-effacing, humbleness, sincerity and compassion as signs of weakness on the side of one that possesses them. In fact, the worst mistake someone of the noble leanings can ever make is having someone of the small-minded leanings as a partner/friend.

Loyalty is like a two-way traffic light, its reciprocal. People should stop mixing up disingenuousness for cleverness. Someone that ethically doesn't merit a loan from another isn't worth keeping closely - I dislike small-minded people. So also as one who can't extend a loan to his prudential partner/friend isn't worth keeping closely too - self-centered and selfish people irritates me. Whenever I look around what I normally see are frenemies that disguises themselves as partners/friends; Pretense, disingenuousness, feeble-mindedness and hypocrisy are the order of the day.

On the flip side, it's irritatingly appalling that many (both sexes) has turned this forum to their aggression visit ground. If someone somewhere betrayed/dumped you - with or without your making - that shouldn't be reason enough to develop needless hatred for the opposite sex or being biased when an issue relating to an opposite sex is being discussed. A thread like this shouldn't be a battle ground for people with bitter life experience or misandrists or misogynists or chauvinists.

ImaIma1:
I like your objectivity...not necessarily taking sides but dissecting the issue with the information available.

If the guy had put her mind at rest and asked for more time for one reason or the other, it would have been better. But he isn't even picking her calls and guys here are still blaming her. It beats me!!! For them to even say she only gave half of what he ask already spills greed and being ungrateful. They talk like the money is his birthright.

It is her money to give or not to give and he is NOT her husband. Engagements/relationships get broken everytime.

Women are always victimized here a lot and it is getting too much. The younger guys are taking cue because the older ones that are meant to be sensible are belittling women and always using fowl words to address them.

LordKO:
Like I said above, I don't normally join issue with parochial and foolish people like you. For example, any sane person in your stead would understand that in that paragraph where I discussed about loyalty, I was referring to the commenters above on this thread who made pronouncements like "the sharp guy has outsmarted you" or "I can't allow my husband/wife to know about my financial worth" or "I can't give loan to anyone close to me" ect.

About ego, your mental slowness made it difficult for you to understand that neither pride nor conceit is a good attribute. I don't see a sane person that will choose pride over self-esteem. Being self-effacing and humble doesn't deprive a sane person his esteem. You're mentally slow I say.

The last but sure not the least, I maintain my stance that a debtor remains a slave to his creditor until he redeems his pledge, especially, when an agreed time frame for repayment has elapsed. His action as presented by the OP amount to disingenuousness not cleverness. Understanding can only take place where mutual loyalty exist. A healthy relationship of any kind is sustained with goodness not neither servility nor evil.

Once more, kindly vamoose from my mentions and look for your small-minded mates elsewhere. I know your type, it only take servility to sustain a relationship with you. . . Always crying victim.

ImaIma1:
I like your objectivity...not necessarily taking sides but dissecting the issue with the information available.

If the guy had put her mind at rest and asked for more time for one reason or the other, it would have been better. But he isn't even picking her calls and guys here are still blaming her. It beats me!!! For them to even say she only gave half of what he ask already spills greed and being ungrateful. They talk like the money is his birthright.

It is her money to give or not to give and he is NOT her husband. Engagements/relationships get broken everytime.

Women are always victimized here a lot and it is getting too much. The younger guys are taking cue because the older ones that are meant to be sensible are belittling women and always using fowl words to address them.

thesuave10:
You are clearly daft beyond doubt. I don't care about his pride and self esteem. The dude clearly made a bad choice. But for you to open your stupid mouth to say that there lady has the right to do WHATEVER she wants makes you an ídiot. Did you think you're being objective? A bad action doesn't warrant another bad action. The lady is picking the wrong action. That is the point everybody is making.

Now let me educate your stupid mind. Gratefulness loyalty etc is not proven completely without the knowledge of INTENT this is psychology law and philosophy 101 . And you Mr Man cannot prove intent with the given evidence. So not picking calls us enough to say that he is DISLOYAL. You must be an ÎDIOT. I hope she gets professional advice from people like me in the real world and not shîtbags who know nothing about BEHAVIOURAL PSYCHOLOGY

LordKO:
LOL. An inarticulate incompetent (worse form of conceitedness) - always hear but neither know nor understanding nothing. Dimwit.

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ImaIma1:
They have not said for better for worse yet. Marriage requires trust. It is not a fiancee or boyfriend sometin. Besides some guys use marriage as a bait.
From experience, it never ends well cos the guys try to play a smart one.

thesuave10:
A question for you. Threatening to end her relationship because of those her reasons is it the right and wise thing to do at this point?

ImaIma1:
Looking for another reason to call me "bitch"?

Consider all the information she provided and advise her like you would a sister.

OLUJOSHINS:
This is not a baiting situation. He is not a broke clueless guy. He has his own company. His business is strong enough to pay her salary for life (recycling business is quite lucrative). He just needed a little assistance to get back on His feet.

& by the way, You can start showing undying love for your partner before you get married. As a matter of fact, You should start showing undying love for your partner before you get married.

Hilles:
What I could deduct.. The guy in question has got his little pride( my type of guy sha), and didn't want to be looked down on, to the point that he asked for partnership instead simply asking for a loan, probably things are more messed up for him and he's trying too hard to cover up ,to avoid the op going into panic..this guy owns a company and you think he will risk his reputation among other things for just 500k, com' on!! .. Has he given you any cause to be suspicious prior to the loan? , is he usually very comfortable with borrowing? If No better start dealing with your trust issues before one airhead slay mama gives you poo advice!

thesuave10:
Feel free to say your mind. Do you believe that is best decision cuz I don't think you understand the points people are making.

Maduawuchukwu:
OK. But even though it is common practice I don't think it Is good. The thing has monetized relationships.

ImaIma1:
People can be bias.

He is owing her...not saying anything about it and not picking her calls....

Does that seem like a guy that can be trusted?

Read her post again. He replied to her text and said he'll pay her back via text but without a specific date. So not picking calls is logically and equally related to the fact that he can't be trusted? again I ask, is this the right decision given the Available evidence at the moment. Answer the question like a woman

MissJoy29:
You are right. It has. I'm not against giving in relationships but it shouldn't be one-sided...

thesuave10:
Read her post again. He replied to her text and said he'll pay her back via text but without a specific date. So not picking calls is logically and equally related to the fact that he can't be trusted? again I ask, is this the right decision given the Available evidence at the moment. Answer the question like a woman