Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? - Romance (10)

Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? - Romance (10) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Romance › Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? (39732 Views)

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Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by flakkybaby: 6:54am On Oct 13, 2017

AmazingM:
Good evening my dear nairalanders. Please I need your honest opinion on this issue because I am very confused now that I don't know what to do.

I have been dating a guy for about three years now. Every thing has been going well. He claims he loves me but he doesn't spend on me. He knows I am still job hunting that I don't have any means of income of my own but he doesn't care at all. How I feed, cloth, recharge my phone, he doesn't know. He doesn't even ask how I cope with all my basic needs as a woman. He doesn't recharge my phone and when I manage to recharge with the little money I have and call him, he won't even reject or ignore the call and call me back knowing well that I don't work. He will make sure he exhausts the little airtime.

It is not as I he doesn't have the money, he has it. In fact he is very comfortable but he doesn't spend on me. I am a type of lady that doesn't know how to ask for money but I expect him to know that since I am not working yet, he should assist me with some of my needs but if I don't ask, he will do nothing.

I am thinking of leaving him because of this attitude I feel he is taking advantage of my nature. Please h
elp me out. I want to know your take on this issue before I take action.

my dear sister, I think you are making a great mistake here, please ask him for money and don't be shy if you don't ask he will take you for a fool.
Thank you.

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by jashar(f): 6:55am On Oct 13, 2017

Jonzingmaster:
The Most sensible comment i have seen on nairaland.

Do I get an award? cheesy

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by Matam(f): 6:57am On Oct 13, 2017

How can you love without giving, Girl, if you still want to continue just make up your mind that you are on your own and don't expect anything from him.

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by zuto4u(m): 6:57am On Oct 13, 2017

Amen my brother

Ifakiland:
Broke ass biitch....u still have the nerves to threaten to break up, please break up fast and move on Abeg.....help his life and move on....mr eazi doesn't have two head....may God never bring a broke gf like u into my life o....#spits#

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by jashar(f): 6:58am On Oct 13, 2017

emmyasam0:
God bless you. I wish nigerian ladies will understand this

Amen. Some are beginning yo understand... One day at a time wink

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by pyrex23(m): 6:59am On Oct 13, 2017

u said he doesnt care for ur needs....

Are u staying/living together?

Have u asked him for anything at all and he doesnt give?

U said uv dated for 3years....exempting d fact dat he doesnt spend on you, is he d stingy type?

Does he love u?

Has he taken u out on a date b4?

Probably he thinks u're d kind of lady dah likes to be self-independent....

Well if he loves u and is capable i see no reason y u should ask him for something nd he wont give..

My conclusion? Ask him for something! Nd dont just stay mute

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by Legendaryarcher(f): 7:00am On Oct 13, 2017

Maybe he is waiting for you to ask for the money or whatever you need yourself.you kinda strike him as an independant lady or something.

my opinion tho..

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by lovethchioma(f): 7:11am On Oct 13, 2017

AmazingM:
Good evening my dear nairalanders. Please I need your honest opinion on this issue because I am very confused now that I don't know what to do.

I have been dating a guy for about three years now. Every thing has been going well. He claims he loves me but he doesn't spend on me. He knows I am still job hunting that I don't have any means of income of my own but he doesn't care at all. How I feed, cloth, recharge my phone, he doesn't know. He doesn't even ask how I cope with all my basic needs as a woman. He doesn't recharge my phone and when I manage to recharge with the little money I have and call him, he won't even reject or ignore the call and call me back knowing well that I don't work. He will make sure he exhausts the little airtime.

It is not as I he doesn't have the money, he has it. In fact he is very comfortable but he doesn't spend on me. I am a type of lady that doesn't know how to ask for money but I expect him to know that since I am not working yet, he should assist me with some of my needs but if I don't ask, he will do nothing.

I am thinking of leaving him because of this attitude I feel he is taking advantage of my nature. Please help me out. I want to know your take on this issue before I take action.

Thank you.

If a guy doesn't spend on you when you're dating .. Forget it babe, it's a sign... Something is definitely wrong. He won't suddenly change when he gets married to you. There's no how a guy will claim to love you and not give money to you once in a while. I'm not saying he should take over your responsibilities.. Nah. If he is at least comfortable to an extent and not a struggling guy and he has never given to you.. Something is wrong.

I think you should try talking to him and hear what he has to say.
That's why it's good for every lady to try and have their own source of income no matter how little it is you're getting.

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by Backinfront(m): 7:15am On Oct 13, 2017

Don't waste your resources on a douchebag, channel them to productive areas of your life. What I'm saying is you don't need a man now at least not an insensitive mugun but you do need a job lady.

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by tobloj(m): 7:16am On Oct 13, 2017

jashar:
The only guy I owe sex to is my husband. Look, I know what it means to be broke. I didn't go around looking for a boyfriend. I started selling donut and buns in my mothers shop to have at least small change to buy my basic needs...

So funny none of the bitches in here countered your opinion Y?
Because u r a lady and a wise one at that. None of them proffered a solution to the op on how she can be independent of her bf. All they spit is trash about how stingy the guy is cuz the op's reasoning and theirs align so well.
My own advice to u op is to look forward into getting something doing, rather than waiting in the name of searching for a job. The guy owes you nothing in the realest terms

5 Likes

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by jashar(f): 7:19am On Oct 13, 2017

[size=8pt][/size]

tobloj:
So funny none of the bitches in here countered your opinion Y?
Because u r a lady and a wise one at that. None of them proffered a solution to the op on how she can be independent of her bf. All they spit is trash about how stingy the guy is cuz the op's reasoning and theirs align so well.
My own advice to u op is to look forward into getting something doing, rather than waiting in the name of searching for a job. The guy owes you nothing in the realest terms

Biko, it's derogatory to call a human a bitch. But, I totally get what you're saying.

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by Divay22(f): 7:24am On Oct 13, 2017

overlord77:
Best advise ever. I wonder why some ladies think being in a relationship automatically translates to transfer of responsibility. Hopefully you get a job soon but in the interim,ignore him.

Although,he should be a gentleman and take care of his biz but then again,am not in his head to know why he's acting that way.

Dude is proud..
He wants her to beg him, now that's she's not doing it, he'll say she has attitude..
I just pray she get a job soonest and show him that, plus him in the picture or minus him, she can add value to herself.

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by Divay22(f): 7:31am On Oct 13, 2017

GCsomething:
You have talked like me. I tell my friends this even girls.

Create value for yourself.

That's just it...if you value yourself, others will have to.
It's not pride, but yourself respect and value...

1 Like

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by Divay22(f): 7:32am On Oct 13, 2017

reality17:
Are u sure this is ur real face sorry i mean is this ur real self?

Nah.
Add your own to it, and the equation will be correct tongue

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by Revolva(m): 7:35am On Oct 13, 2017

hahaha omo that guy no be am ooo...well am sure...you ave not given him some pussy dats why he is doing this ..go bang him he will give u his password to his ATM

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by sinceraconcept(m): 7:43am On Oct 13, 2017

AmazingM:
Good evening my dear nairalanders. Please I need your honest opinion on this issue because I am very confused now that I don't know what to do.

I have been dating a guy for about three years now. Every thing has been going well. He claims he loves me but he doesn't spend on me. He knows I am still job hunting that I don't have any means of income of my own but he doesn't care at all. How I feed, cloth, recharge my phone, he doesn't know. He doesn't even ask how I cope with all my basic needs as a woman. He doesn't recharge my phone and when I manage to recharge with the little money I have and call him, he won't even reject or ignore the call and call me back knowing well that I don't work. He will make sure he exhausts the little airtime.

It is not as I he doesn't have the money, he has it. In fact he is very comfortable but he doesn't spend on me. I am a type of lady that doesn't know how to ask for money but I expect him to know that since I am not working yet, he should assist me with some of my needs but if I don't ask, he will do nothing.

I am thinking of leaving him because of this attitude I feel he is taking advantage of my nature. Please help me out. I want to know your take on this issue before I take action.

Thank you.

is he your father? get a job or ask your parents to set up a business for you
. this is why most rich guys hate to and shouldn't date poor girls. Is Temi Otedola not a girl like you? I'm still wondering why you are expecting him to be spending his hard earned money on you. Leave him today and he will get a beautiful girl tomorrow,he's even doing you a favour by dating you because you don't belong to his class,he should have gone for a rich working class girl. Rich girls add more value to a rich guy and the guy feels his future kids would have better future being with a rich girl but a poor girl would only make the guy poorer ,so what are you talking about? he is doing you a favour by dating you,abegi park well

1 Like

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by Justeenaleo(f): 7:44am On Oct 13, 2017

Adaumunocha:
Marrying a stingy man has it pros and cons.

www.
Please whats the pro?

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by omoelerin1: 7:58am On Oct 13, 2017

Adaumunocha:
Its you westerners that are championing this broke girls nonsense. Right from time we know you people don't take care of ladies. Very stingy set of people.

biafran women know how to suffer their husband no be small. I always pity those men. Starting from when to get them married, it is time for the parents of the bride to realise bountiful harvest from dowry.
After they don get married nko? You will see the woman becomes fatter and fatter at the mercy of the skinning husband.

1 Like

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by omoelerin1: 8:02am On Oct 13, 2017

AmazingM:
Good evening my dear nairalanders. Please I need your honest opinion on this issue because I am very confused now that I don't know what to do.

I have been dating a guy for about three years now. Every thing has been going well. He claims he loves me but he doesn't spend on me. He knows I am still job hunting that I don't have any means of income of my own but he doesn't care at all. How I feed, cloth, recharge my phone, he doesn't know. He doesn't even ask how I cope with all my basic needs as a woman. He doesn't recharge my phone and when I manage to recharge with the little money I have and call him, he won't even reject or ignore the call and call me back knowing well that I don't work. He will make sure he exhausts the little airtime.

It is not as I he doesn't have the money, he has it. In fact he is very comfortable but he doesn't spend on me. I am a type of lady that doesn't know how to ask for money but I expect him to know that since I am not working yet, he should assist me with some of my needs but if I don't ask, he will do nothing.

I am thinking of leaving him because of this attitude I feel he is taking advantage of my nature. Please help me out. I want to know your take on this issue before I take action.

Thank you.

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by Lekayleke: 8:03am On Oct 13, 2017

Maybe #HISMUMUDONDO, maybe he don spend much on the previous girl(s) and decided not to spend on any fkin girl again. You can try to ask him sha and if ladies say u have not be caring, watch ur head ooo!!!! Dont enter ONE CHANCE .

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by Josephamstrong1(m): 8:04am On Oct 13, 2017

Well I am of the opinion that love is about giving not just words. Give even if it's a tooth brush. In a scenario where the partner isn't overly demanding, once in a while...you should give something no matter how small... it's normal in relationship.
Just that sometimes givers are handicapped.
Having and not giving is bad... Be careful with such men.
And also note that when you spend there is a bigger spender out there. If he truly loves you and you're into him and he's convinced that you're truly his... 90% would spend.
Some men do not spend on side chick while some do.
Buh having and not spending on someone you've decided to marry isn't ideal... bad for me.

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by omoelerin1: 8:04am On Oct 13, 2017

AmazingM:
Good evening my dear nairalanders. Please I need your honest opinion on this issue because I am very confused now that I don't know what to do.

I have been dating a guy for about three years now. Every thing has been going well. He claims he loves me but he doesn't spend on me. He knows I am still job hunting that I don't have any means of income of my own but he doesn't care at all. How I feed, cloth, recharge my phone, he doesn't know. He doesn't even ask how I cope with all my basic needs as a woman. He doesn't recharge my phone and when I manage to recharge with the little money I have and call him, he won't even reject or ignore the call and call me back knowing well that I don't work. He will make sure he exhausts the little airtime.

It is not as I he doesn't have the money, he has it. In fact he is very comfortable but he doesn't spend on me. I am a type of lady that doesn't know how to ask for money but I expect him to know that since I am not working yet, he should assist me with some of my needs but if I don't ask, he will do nothing.

I am thinking of leaving him because of this attitude I feel he is taking advantage of my nature. Please help me out. I want to know your take on this issue before I take action.

Thank you.

I Love covereth all sins. It is obvious that you do not love him

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by jannyblue(f): 8:13am On Oct 13, 2017

useless stingy guys.... my own boyfriend was so stingy that common recharge card he cannot buy...and his working lol
they will tell u 'I don't want to spoil u with money... my sister run for your
thank God we are not together again

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by jannyblue(f): 8:13am On Oct 13, 2017

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by Marsnizz: 8:14am On Oct 13, 2017

Pls another thing is to put him on test like three time. the steps to follow are:
(1) Ask him to lend you some money like #5000 promising to pay back in one week time .watch his reaction. if he gives you the money without complain and conditions,collect and keep it making sure that at the elapse of the week promised to pay back,the money is return to him .Give him back and tell him thank you .Watch his reaction. If he refuse to collect it then persuade him to collect,telling him something like " I borrowed this money from you to pay back because I wasn't in position at that time so have it .I don't want to be a burden of responsibility " watch his actions carefully. If he insisted on you having the money freely with smile on his face without a frown then collect it and say thank you very much at most two time. Dancing accurately to this show signs of freewill
(2) secondly ask him to advice you that a friend is disturbing you to borrow her #15000,you have the money with you already but you are scared of letting it out but she was desperately in need. listen to his response. if he outrightly, stop you from assisting your friend that need help then put it in mind that he might not help your friends and family so easily.
(3) finally .Tell him you are confused,seeking an advice from him .That your small brother or sister is dragging with you,for the pomade that you used your money in buying,you don't like it and can't change the cream for another one to stop her because she also like it more than you. Be quiet and listen to his advice. If he advise you to leave the cream for her/him and buy same for yourself and stop dragging for one and in case, you can buy next, buy two of it .One for yourself and one for them .But if he advise you to stop anyone from using your belonging,your brother or sister as of that matter . know that this guy must be stingy and cannot easily sacrifice something for another person. Therefore, you should be logical about number 3 because it may sound to him as your family is too poor to the extend of sharing common cream .I mean if he don't know your family too well . make sure, you give a gap of weeks or month in between this three trials and you will come back to tell me thank you

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by lastmaster(m): 8:19am On Oct 13, 2017

sinceraconcept:
is he your father? get a job or ask your parents to set up a business for you
. this is why most rich guys hate to and shouldn't date poor girls. Is Temi Otedola not a girl like you? I'm still wondering why you are expecting him to be spending his hard earned money on you. Leave him today and he will get a beautiful girl tomorrow,he's even doing you a favour by dating you because you don't belong to his class,he should have gone for a rich working class girl. Rich girls add more value to a rich guy and the guy feels his future kids would have better future being with a rich girl but a poor girl would only make the guy poorer ,so what are you talking about? he is doing you a favour by dating you,abegi park well

Nice one.i have experienced this before. My ex was a broke girl, I always give her everything she needed, but greed killed her.Ranging from money to fix her hair, get her clothes, pads, undies, cream, etc.I always buy her foodstuffs.In addition, gives her 20k monthly.I was even trying to establish her before the last straw that broke the carmel's back. There is this friend of her that advice her wrongly that I am not taking adequate care of her, that she have to look for another man.She listened to her friend, and got one guy. the same friend came to me and told me that my girlfriend is dating another guy.she told me everything on how to get her red handed, I followed her instructions and I caught my girlfriend in an hotel with the guy.To cut the story short, I quit the parasitic relationship for the past 2yrs; she is still pleading with me to accept her up till now, that it was her friend that gave her the wrong advice. I plainly told her that I am not a dog that will go back to its own vomit.Since then, I know the kind of money I have saved. Guys, never date a broke girl because you will become poorer.Instead, flow with the rich ones.

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by Greatestchyke(m): 8:21am On Oct 13, 2017

jashar:
Concentrate on having a source of income and not bother yourself with what your boyfriend does with his money.

No man you're not married to owes you anything....

But, don't marry someone that isn't caring.

Well said, he owes her nothing...what is she bringing to their relationship table? In my view, she should focus on getting a job and think less about him not giving her money. Trust me most girls (especially in Nigeria) sees their boyfriends as another source of income..very unfortunate i must say.

2 Likes

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by elyonchee(f): 8:21am On Oct 13, 2017

Dillusionist:
he will exhaust your airtime but can't do the same for you? ?and he's probably doing all that for another lady
I hate stingy rats occupying space in my life and when it comes to marriage better pick Irace.

start thinking with your brain intact.

I can't even stand a stingy guy.

1 Like

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by OrdercityWeb: 8:22am On Oct 13, 2017

Matam:
How can you love without giving , Girl, if you still want to continue just make up your mind that you are on your own and don't expect anything from him.

@the bolded; what then is the lady giving?

1 Like

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by lordfalcao(m): 8:22am On Oct 13, 2017

MhizzAJ:
Ahan...is that one a boyfriend

I hate stingy men
Forget about him and move on with your life

hope you're not stingy with Toto ?

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by stankezzy: 8:22am On Oct 13, 2017

My advice to this lady , don't ever loose this man, similar thing happened within my clique of friends, a friend to my friend was dating a lady , he does not even buy pure water , no recharge card , not even transport fare and all of us were angry with the guy although we never confronted him .When we gather d guy does not even contribute to buying things we take as friends but me and my immediate friends could not complain since he is a friend to my friend. It was till he married the girl that we know what was his problem -d guy is too wise and careful , he was insecure , he is not d outspoken type ,
but now all of us are complaining , he took his wife as a mate, a friend , his mother , and his wife , up till now he still does not buy things to his friends when they gather but his wife he has bought one geep one other car and she travels to usa at will . We started to complain that he is giving d wife too much power, although at his back , such men that does not give , does not generally give to any body but once this thing is their own forget it. Most men that easily give can be given u small small amount but does not believe in doing big things for ladies

2 Likes

Re: Ladies, Can You Marry A Guy Who Doesn't Spend On You? by OrdercityWeb: 8:25am On Oct 13, 2017

lovethchioma:
If a guy doesn't spend on you when you're dating .. Forget it babe, it's a sign... Something is definitely wrong. He won't suddenly change when he gets married to you. There's no how a guy will claim to love you and not give money to you once in a while. I'm not saying he should take over your responsibilities.. Nah. If he is at least comfortable to an extent and not a struggling guy and he has never given to you.. Something is wrong.

I think you should try talking to him and hear what he has to say.
That's why it's good for every lady to try and have their own source of income no matter how little it is you're getting.

And what will the lady be giving?

Please don't mention sex because: 1) Not all guys ask for sex ( I'm one)

2)Sex is enjoyed by both male and female.

So please answer my question. Thanks you

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