akilo1:
my brother ,no stress ,just tell her say the doctor test you and that u are HIV positive..she will run for her dear life

AryEmber:
I don't blame you, it's the nineteen year old orphan with two siblings that deem it fit to date I put the fault on. It'll teach her next time to walk with her eyes open.

chidichuddo:
Op thought you said u have dropped boyish attitudes



to see or get a lady to love you whole heartedly is difficult.


how can u see a diamond in a rough and ignore


if u no want I want but the issue is her heart is already taken


you might not see a lady who would love u now even as u r still in school.


better she loves you now than you doing the loving cos when woman show up eh, ur life and attitude won't be the same.

CaptainJeffry:
I've been there on several occasion. Have dated people out of pity or move from helping out to an unplanned relationship.

First of all, stop sex and anything amorous with her and see her love for you go down a bit. Reduce her frequent visit to your house and pretend to cheat a little. If she suspects, apologise. When she thinks you cheat, she will start giving room to other guys and who knows you may be free at the end.
Please don't just push her out, she may commit suicide.

efficiencie:


Mehn, you must be special adviser to satan on strategic matters ...kudos!

jaykorbs:
@ GraGra247

She is making effort and intelligent, I know, I just don't want eventually end up with someone I don't love, I don't want to get married to someone out of pity, although, marriage is not in my plan for the next 4 years, I just don't want to waste her time further. On the issue of compensation, I don't the financial prowess to do all you just mentioned but I sure want to still be her friend when I eventually break up with her, assisting her in every possible way.

And my friends are not asking me to break up with her, they are actually telling me not to.

Jodha:


Yhu said it all...kudus bro...yhur type are hard to come by in this nairaland...

@ op...if yhu have lil sense/conscience left yhull listen to him...and yhu must compensate her...if not karma will surely come for yhu...

narutop:
Op this is the same reason why I decided to remain single.
I have done this to 3 girls, the last one wont let me rest , always begging everyday on phone.

I had to take a break and think of what my problem is, I just couldnt continue that way.
It appears I don't want any commitment.
Now after a long break (2 yrs plus) im ready to date anyone that will lead to marriage but I think I'm being over careful and it really making me become too selective.

I pray God help me, because the truth of the matter is , true love does not exist or let me put it this way , love diminishes over time.
So if it is love you are looking for, I hope you find it but make sure the one u find loves you more than you love her.

Concerning your girl, if you don't intend marrying her, leave her alone. You owe her nothing. Girls even do worse to guys without remorse, so u don't owe her anything. But support her the best way u can since u know her situation.

makky555:


You're right but this is a fanatic response... They won't accept Jesus Christ by merely advising them to... Why not ask the Holy Spirit on their behalf

jaykorbs:
Hi nairalanders, this is my story, don’t judge me, just advice me on a way out, there is this lady I asked out towards the end of 2016, I will be frank with you, my sole aim back then was to hook up with her and for us to enjoy sex together, basically, I was just after sex. I know nothing about the lady.

She was teaching in one primary school in my area at that point in time, I said a lot of shit back then just to get her to say yes, as I got to know her, I found out she had lost both parent at a tender age and so many other things, she has really passed through a lot, herself and her junior sister.

As time goes on, the relationship gained an exponential momentum and before I could realize what was going on, my family and friends dan sabi her, calling her my wife, let me add that she is 19 and I am 24 (just wrote my last undergraduate exam a
couple of months ago, while she is currently working at one food canteen).

Over the course of 2017, I have picked up a lot of manly lessons and have decided to set my life in order in the coming year, yes, I have dropped a lot of boyish attitude and selfish characters, I can confidently call myself a changed individual, although a lot of improvement still have to be made.

As I mentioned earlier, I have decided to set my life in order this coming year, with her being part of it, the truth is, I don’t love her, but to my understanding, she really loves me, I am currently still in this relationship because I am afraid of making her sad, I am in this relationship at the moment because of pity, she will be devasted when I break up with her, my friends are telling me not to go ahead with it, that I am about to make a big mistake if I call off the relationship, I just know I don’t love her, I very much like her, but the love to consider her for marriage ain’t there. She is beside me as I type this, I seriously need help on how to call of this relationship without breaking her spirit because she is a fighter.




Gragra247 has spoken my mind. If u leave dat girl,i pity for ur life. In all ur write up, I didn't see where u stated d defiencies in d girl.humanbeings are truly cruel. Tufiakwa

FrancisDozie:
I will be back to comment let me freshen up,but the poster above me is high, he should carry on with her out of pity huh, that's how people will be hiding because of what others will say and fall inside a ditch. She's not d first person to be an orphan neither will she be the last. Her lover owes her no compensation if he doesn't dig her again. You can help her since u have so much sympathy.

jaykorbs:
@ GraGra247

She is making effort and intelligent, I know, I just don't want eventually end up with someone I don't love, I don't want to get married to someone out of pity, although, marriage is not in my plan for the next 4 years, I just don't want to waste her time further. On the issue of compensation, I don't the financial prowess to do all you just mentioned but I sure want to still be her friend when I eventually break up with her, assisting her in every possible way.

And my friends are not asking me to break up with her, they are actually telling me not to.

ReddingtonLeke:


At my brother who want advice, I won't av commented here at all if I don't see/feel d need to. I'll try nd be brief as much as I can, bcux d person I already quote already said it clearly. But I jex want to add few talk.
1) my brother, you don't love dix girl out of pity. You don't jex understand or know what love is Yet....you think you do!? You don't. Love is Commitment! Love is a Choice! Love is a Decision tin.... We tend to fall in love with what we give attention to.
2) do you know d value of a woman's true love!? She can burn the whole world, and at the same time give you d whole world. If she knows that it's genuine .
3) What's your priority? Success, love, money, or what? Define it. You're jex thru with your undergraduate level. You're in your building stages of life, you don't need a woman that will give you wahala like all dix slay queens. With good understanding and cards from you, you can build with dix girl. Unless tinx changes and she stops loving you.
4) you guys age 24-19 seems to be very okay, gives you enough time ahead to be prepared and ready, when she'll be ready too. No pressures.
5) I end with dix, you'll get to love her if you open your hear to love her....and the beautiful tin is you can groom, train and develop her to the type of woman you want. God bless. Stay real and keep making progress. I care....value Loyalty above all else.

ReddingtonLeke:


At my brother who want advice, I won't av commented here at all if I don't see/feel d need to. I'll try nd be brief as much as I can, bcux d person I already quote already said it clearly. But I jex want to add few talk.
1) my brother, you don't love dix girl out of pity. You don't jex understand or know what love is Yet....you think you do!? You don't. Love is Commitment! Love is a Choice! Love is a Decision tin.... We tend to fall in love with what we give attention to.
2) do you know d value of a woman's true love!? She can burn the whole world, and at the same time give you d whole world. If she knows that it's genuine .
3) What's your priority? Success, love, money, or what? Define it. You're jex thru with your undergraduate level. You're in your building stages of life, you don't need a woman that will give you wahala like all dix slay queens. With good understanding and cards from you, you can build with dix girl. Unless tinx changes and she stops loving you.
4) you guys age 24-19 seems to be very okay, gives you enough time ahead to be prepared and ready, when she'll be ready too. No pressures.
5) I end with dix, you'll get to love her if you open your hear to love her....and the beautiful tin is you can groom, train and develop her to the type of woman you want. God bless. Stay real and keep making progress. I care....value Loyalty above all else.

jaykorbs:
@ GraGra247

She is making effort and intelligent, I know, I just don't want eventually end up with someone I don't love, I don't want to get married to someone out of pity, although, marriage is not in my plan for the next 4 years, I just don't want to waste her time further. On the issue of compensation, I don't the financial prowess to do all you just mentioned but I sure want to still be her friend when I eventually break up with her, assisting her in every possible way.

And my friends are not asking me to break up with her, they are actually telling me not to.

ReddingtonLeke:


At my brother who want advice, I won't av commented here at all if I don't see/feel d need to. I'll try nd be brief as much as I can, bcux d person I already quote already said it clearly. But I jex want to add few talk.
1) my brother, you don't love dix girl out of pity. You don't jex understand or know what love is Yet....you think you do!? You don't. Love is Commitment! Love is a Choice! Love is a Decision tin.... We tend to fall in love with what we give attention to.
2) do you know d value of a woman's true love!? She can burn the whole world, and at the same time give you d whole world. If she knows that it's genuine .
3) What's your priority? Success, love, money, or what? Define it. You're jex thru with your undergraduate level. You're in your building stages of life, you don't need a woman that will give you wahala like all dix slay queens. With good understanding and cards from you, you can build with dix girl. Unless tinx changes and she stops loving you.
4) you guys age 24-19 seems to be very okay, gives you enough time ahead to be prepared and ready, when she'll be ready too. No pressures.
5) I end with dix, you'll get to love her if you open your hear to love her....and the beautiful tin is you can groom, train and develop her to the type of woman you want. God bless. Stay real and keep making progress. I care....value Loyalty above all else.

afoife:



Op as much as I would like to advise you take to this please don't ever marry her if the love is not mutual. You will end up wielding what Sociology call emotional economy and when the revolution begins you as a bourgeoisie will loose everything I hope you understand I am presently in the same situation I can relate it ain't funny

jaykorbs:
Hi nairalanders, this is my story, don’t judge me, just advice me on a way out, there is this lady I asked out towards the end of 2016, I will be frank with you, my sole aim back then was to hook up with her and for us to enjoy sex together, basically, I was just after sex. I know nothing about the lady.

She was teaching in one primary school in my area at that point in time, I said a lot of shit back then just to get her to say yes, as I got to know her, I found out she had lost both parent at a tender age and so many other things, she has really passed through a lot, herself and her junior sister.

As time goes on, the relationship gained an exponential momentum and before I could realize what was going on, my family and friends dan sabi her, calling her my wife, let me add that she is 19 and I am 24 (just wrote my last undergraduate exam a
couple of months ago, while she is currently working at one food canteen).

Over the course of 2017, I have picked up a lot of manly lessons and have decided to set my life in order in the coming year, yes, I have dropped a lot of boyish attitude and selfish characters, I can confidently call myself a changed individual, although a lot of improvement still have to be made.

As I mentioned earlier, I have decided to set my life in order this coming year, with her being part of it, the truth is, I don’t love her, but to my understanding, she really loves me, I am currently still in this relationship because I am afraid of making her sad, I am in this relationship at the moment because of pity, she will be devasted when I break up with her, my friends are telling me not to go ahead with it, that I am about to make a big mistake if I call off the relationship, I just know I don’t love her, I very much like her, but the love to consider her for marriage ain’t there. She is beside me as I type this, I seriously need help on how to call of this relationship without breaking her spirit because she is a fighter.