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Separation Is The Best Option For Now. - Romance - Nairaland

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Just 16days After Our Separation My Husband Has Moved In With Another Woman / Its Four Months Separation:is There Any Hope For Reconciliation? / Cooking For Myself Was The Best Option (pic) (2) (3) (4)

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Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by frozen70(f): 10:00pm On Dec 31, 2017
My sister has separated from her husband because for 16yrs of marriage,she has gone through depression.

From the very day of their traditional marriage, after few days he told her he won't wed her and because of that she started nursing bad feelings about her husband.

He is so lazy that he believe that he can't kill himself to feed his family.

As God will have it she was progressing in her place of work and was running the family with 3 children successfully, with time the husband became jealous of her and because he has an I don't care attitude towards her, she made sure the husband has no access to the money she is marking, rather she was building houses in her husband village and a duplex some where in Lagos.

At a stage the husband told her he will kill her. Mind you she is the one paying the house rent they are living, school Fee's of children, medical and feeding

When she discover that the husband is displaying more of his wicked act because they have issues almost every day, he told her that he will frustrate her.

Finally she organized some boys and they came and drove the husband away from their house.
Since then she is no longer depressed and also stop falling sick.
Pls house what advice do you have for her.

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Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by BlackDBagba: 10:03pm On Dec 31, 2017
Tell her I said Happy New year. grin

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Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by Lovetinz(m): 10:03pm On Dec 31, 2017
She organized some touts to drive out her husband...
Tell her to clap for herself.

23 Likes 1 Share

Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by frozen70(f): 10:07pm On Dec 31, 2017
BlackDBagba:
Tell her I said Happy New year. grin

thanks I will pass it to her

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Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by Nobody: 1:48am On Jan 01, 2018
This question is very interesting. OP what d'you think she should do?

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Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by issylarry(m): 2:34am On Jan 01, 2018
She should sing song of victory...but make she no leave God oo..if she does, she's on her own

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by frozen70(f): 2:02pm On Jan 01, 2018
BenShammer:
This question is very interesting. OP what d'you think she should do?

If life is better for her after separation, let it be. Domestic violence has led many to early grave. Separation comes in where couple's can no longer find love in between themselves. Law of survival is me first.

1 Like

Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by Nobody: 2:07pm On Jan 01, 2018
frozen70:

If life is better for her after separation, let it be. Domestic violence has led many to early grave. Separation comes in where couple's can no longer find love in between themselves. Lwa of survival is me first.
Exactly, the solution is obvious and she has already taken the first step so the question is absurd. Its like saying a man is freezing and buys a coat, then asking what he should do. Like duh

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Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by austine4real(m): 4:05pm On Jan 01, 2018
frozen70:

If life is better for her after separation, let it be. Domestic violence has led many to early grave. Separation comes in where couple's can no longer find love in between themselves. Lwa of survival is me first.
she don separate what else again ?


abi she need some fresh d!ck this harmattan?

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Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by Nobody: 4:07pm On Jan 01, 2018
Both of them are mad. Seems ur sis forced him to marry her cos she don dey old. Nonsense

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Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by makydebbie(f): 4:09pm On Jan 01, 2018
What made her endure for so long...?

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Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by ubunja(m): 4:36pm On Jan 01, 2018
while we shout Equal Rights we still expect men to be the sole provider.and if the man fails to deliver he is driven out.
smh.no wonder feminism is never going places.
if tha guy did the equivalent ; by discovering the wife cant give birth and chased her out he would be called lucifer himself. but since its a woman, its all sympathy for her.coz men really cant be victims.
take your equal rights and shove them where the sun dont shine.

34 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by Bulldogpuppy5: 5:10pm On Jan 01, 2018
ubunja:
while we shout Equal Rights we still expect men to be the sole provider.and if the man fails to deliver he is driven out.
smh.no wonder feminism is never going places.
if tha guy did the equivalent ; by discovering the wife cant give birth and chased her out he would be called lucifer himself. but since its a woman, its all sympathy for her.coz men really cant be victims.
take your equal rights and shove them where the sun dont shine.
Don't mind them useless feminist u can imagine just because he is less financially buoyant

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Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by favourmic(m): 5:14pm On Jan 01, 2018
Ops I'm not confuse unless we hear from the man...


A cow gives milk to the whole village but it does not make noise. But when a hen lays just one egg that cant even feed one child it crows and makes noise to the whole village to know that it has laid an egg. People who offer little help keep shouting and writing about it while those who are doing big things for people are silent. Keep quiet! if you are doing good things for others with your heart, not to be seen

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Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by tosyne2much(m): 5:34pm On Jan 01, 2018
This story doesn't just add up. This is a tale of two people with warped mentality about marriage

1 Like

Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by ibkayee(f): 6:31pm On Jan 01, 2018
ubunja:
while we shout Equal Rights we still expect men to be the sole provider.and if the man fails to deliver he is driven out.
smh.no wonder feminism is never going places.
if tha guy did the equivalent ; by discovering the wife cant give birth and chased her out he would be called lucifer himself. but since its a woman, its all sympathy for her.coz men really cant be victims.
take your equal rights and shove them where the sun dont shine.
Lol this guy your points would make sense if he’d been described as a decent character just down on his luck job wise or something, the husband is allegedly lazy, jealous and wicked

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Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by ubunja(m): 6:52pm On Jan 01, 2018
ibkayee:

Lol this guy your points would make sense if he’d been described as a decent character just down on his luck job wise or something, the husband is allegedly lazy, jealous and wicked
my points still make sense even if the husband is lazy jealous and wicked. so the man must be homeless just coz he's not perfect? are women themselves perfect? i know many wives who cant cook for sh!t,some who cant even keep a house tidy and fresh.most dont even have respect. yet they are not driven out. but men's short-comings are always Unpardonable Sins. must men always be perfect?

21 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by ibkayee(f): 7:12pm On Jan 01, 2018
ubunja:

my points still make sense even if the husband is lazy jealous and wicked. so the man must be homeless just coz he's not perfect? are women themselves perfect? i know many wives who cant cook for sh!t,some who cant even keep a house tidy and fresh.most dont even have respect. yet they are not driven out. but men's short-comings are always Unpardonable Sins. must men always be perfect?
Lol guy you made it seem like he was driven out just because he wasn’t the sole provider, we’re talking about his character. If a wife was also wicked, lazy etc I wouldn’t blame the husband for driving her out either

There’s a difference between not being perfect and being ‘wicked’, like I said if he wasn’t wicked, lazy etc and the issue was that he couldn’t find a job I would understand your initial points. Women aren’t driven out? Men’s shirt comings are always unpardonable lol you must be talking about a different Nigeria grin

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Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by Espada10: 8:58pm On Jan 01, 2018
ubunja:
while we shout Equal Rights we still expect men to be the sole provider.and if the man fails to deliver he is driven out.
smh.no wonder feminism is never going places.
if tha guy did the equivalent ; by discovering the wife cant give birth and chased her out he would be called lucifer himself. but since its a woman, its all sympathy for her.coz men really cant be victims.
take your equal rights and shove them where the sun dont shine.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by chigoizie7(m): 9:55pm On Jan 01, 2018
She brought tugs to move him out of the house? because she is paying the rent? Tell her to clap for herself , because all we heard was her own side of the story. We are yet to hear theta side. For this our naija? A woman being the bread winner? And she won't turn the husband into a house maid?






Always insist on hearing the two sides of a story. One happened in my cousins yard few days ago.


If not that I have heard the ladies story. All of us would have blamed her if her actions killed the guy.


A guy was maltreating his wife for years and went to the extent of locking her in one room and using chain to Chain her legs. Passing foods to her through the door after telling her he would kill her through food poisoning. After 2days of locking her and all her efforts to alert neighbors proved abortive as no one cared to know how his or her neighbor is, all of them living in a double 3 storey building of 16 flats couldn't notice that one of them is in such situation. All they do is "hi" "hello" " good morning " " welcome". Etc. like I was saying, on the 2nd day he unlocked the chain for her to take her bath, prior to that, he has seized her phone for over 2 weeks so she won't be able to contact anyone and made sure she had no dime on her. Did I say this lady has a baby of about 7 months or so? Well, he took the baby from her and sat down on a chair while she bathed . As God may have it, he started answering a call that he didn't know when the lady came out from the bathroom. She collected the heavy chain and hit him with it, the impact was much as it was unexpected, he fell down and the lady picked her child and ran, by the time he got himself and went after her , she was already downstairs and about to leave the door to the staircase. He caught up with her and was trying so hard to push her back inside the house, the baby fell down, and she just help on to the overhead tank structure, while this man pummeled her, blood all over her. That was when some guys from another compound saw them from their own flat upstairs and started shouting on him to stop, he didn't , that compelled them to start coming over and other people heard when the guys where shouting and started coming to the scene yet this guy never stopped until one of the guys got to them and landed a heavy slap on him followed by blows yet he didn't stop, he only stopped and ran back inside to lock himself up when he saw other guys coming in with weapons, planks , sticks, some with belts and other things.



Now , the reason for this story is this, if I hadn't seen how the man maltreated the lady( I was able to see because I was on break and stayed at home while my cousin always go to work).
Assume that moment she hit him with the chain and he died , shebi we go call this lady evil.

I am not saying that people ain't evil, but na actions de cause things to happen.


So, my people always clamor to hear the two sides of a story b4 u judge or conclude.

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Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by Nobody: 10:06pm On Jan 01, 2018
Jst pray those touts dnt come back to do husband duty 4 her.

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Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by frozen70(f): 4:26pm On Jan 02, 2018
yeyerolling:
Both of them are mad. Seems ur sis forced him to marry her cos she don dey old. Nonsense

Well both of them are not mad, they are in their right sneses. Never pray to stay with a violent partner. Anything can happen to married people at any stage of their marriage. But when it gets to a point of threats to life by any member of the party, my take a decision that suits you most

2 Likes

Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by frozen70(f): 4:28pm On Jan 02, 2018
makydebbie:
What made her endure for so long...?

Marriage is all about endurance and tolerance but if what you choose to endure has become a bad habit then its a no for acceptance.

1 Like

Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by frozen70(f): 4:36pm On Jan 02, 2018
ibkayee:

Lol guy you made it seem like he was driven out just because he wasn’t the sole provider, we’re talking about his character. If a wife was also wicked, lazy etc I wouldn’t blame the husband for driving her out either

There’s a difference between not being perfect and being ‘wicked’, like I said if he wasn’t wicked, lazy etc and the issue was that he couldn’t find a job I would understand your initial points. Women aren’t driven out? Men’s shirt comings are always unpardonable lol you must be talking about a different Nigeria grin

Thanks for understanding, the issue here is not that he is not working,
he works but he is jealous of the wife progress and because he has a bad heart, he wishes to control her resources.

All the money the wife is making goes to the running of their home. Worst still he is lazy he doesn't believe that as a man he should over labour himself to fend for his family.

Giving her a threats that he will kill her and later told her he will frustrate her that was the last straw that brakes the camels back.

Uptill now he hide the issues from his mother, of all his brothers only one is aware and what he wants is for him to reconcile with the wife with out third parties,
but the wife insisted that his family must hear the matter then both families can come together to hear their stories and get them settled, if their is any need for them to get together again

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by austine4real(m): 9:38pm On Jan 02, 2018
frozen70:

Thanks for understanding, the issue here is not that he is not working, he works but he is jealous of the wife progress and because he has a bad heart, he wish to control her resources. All the money the wife is making goes to the running of their home. Worst still he is lazy he doesn't believe that as a man he should over labour himself to fend for his family. Giving her a threats that he will kill her and later told her he will frustrate her that was the last straw that brakes the camel back.
Uptill now he his the issues from his mother put of all his brothers only one is aware and what he wants is for him to reconcile with the wife with out third parties, but the wife insisted that his family must hear the matter then both families can come Roger to hear their stories and get them settled if their is any need for them to get together again
now I understand clearly
Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by aspirebig: 11:26pm On Jan 02, 2018
Op, you mean your 'sister'......ok oooooooo

1 Like

Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by khiaa(f): 12:51am On Jan 03, 2018
ubunja:
while we shout Equal Rights we still expect men to be the sole provider.and if the man fails to deliver he is driven out.
smh.no wonder feminism is never going places.
if tha guy did the equivalent ; by discovering the wife cant give birth and chased her out he would be called lucifer himself. but since its a woman, its all sympathy for her.coz men really cant be victims.
take your equal rights and shove them where the sun dont shine.

Stop making excuses for him because he is a boy, if someone threatens to kill you he has to go.

2 Likes

Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by ubunja(m): 3:49am On Jan 03, 2018
khiaa:


Stop making excuses for him because he is a boy, if someone threatens to kill you he has to go.
like women diont make threats and are perfect creatures...get out of here.
u seem to have gotten it all twisted coz i seen women in abusive relationships with men who actuallly beat them up and threaten to kill them return to these men until the man really does them in.
the issue here is the guy is broke.if the guy had money it would be a diferent story

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Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by khiaa(f): 7:24am On Jan 03, 2018
ubunja:

like women diont make threats and are perfect creatures...get out of here.
u seem to have gotten it all twisted coz i seen women in abusive relationships with men who actuallly beat them up and threaten to kill them return to these men until the man really does them in.
the issue here is the guy is broke.if the guy had money it would be a diferent story

Well the issue is the guy was a lazy azz from the start, who leached off of his wife, yes she is part of the blame because she married the guy knowing what kind of person he was. Your comment about women leaving their abusive husbands then returning to them only to be murdered by them should be an eye opener to you to why this guy needed to go. The guy is broke because he chose to be that way simply because he didn't want to work. If the guy would try to contribute to the finances they would be building together.

1 Like

Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by ubunja(m): 7:31am On Jan 03, 2018
khiaa:


Well the issue is the guy was a lazy azz from the start, who leached off of his wife, yes she is part of the blame because she married the guy knowing what kind of person he was. Your comment about women leaving their abusive husbands then returning to them only to be murdered by them should be an eye opener to you to why this guy needed to go. The guy is broke because he chose to be that way simply because he didn't want to work. If the guy would try to contribute to the finances they would be building together.
since we established the woman also is to blame,then the woman has to work to fix her part of the problem. the man can only go if the wife pays the man for wasting his time.she must give the guy alimony and part ways.

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Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by khiaa(f): 7:42am On Jan 03, 2018
[quote author=ubunja post=63845287]
since we established the woman also is to blame,then the woman has to work to fix her part of the problem. the man can only go if the wife pays the man for wasting his time.she must give the guy alimony and part ways.[/quot

...........................................................................................................................................................................................................
Alimony for what, he didn't do damn thing. I'm sure he didn't clean the house or wash the clothes, or cook the food. He should be made to pay her alimony for all the years that he leached off of her. She has already fixed the problem by getting rid of the lazy bum. Let him get a job or find another desperate lady to leach on. LMAO grin at wasting his time. She took care of his lazy azz for many years with no contribution from him, it's time that he grow up and take care of himself and contribute to the care of their children. UGGGGH I can't stand a SORRY man. angry

1 Like

Re: Separation Is The Best Option For Now. by frozen70(f): 6:06pm On Jan 03, 2018
Thank you all for your contribution and understanding in these matter. The lesson their is no woman must remain in an abusive relationship, any man that's is lucky to have a woman that will be willing to provide and run his family should thank God for such woman.
Women of these days are getting wiser and wiser every day, respect and appreciate such woman, if you can't contribute or carry your family financial responsibilites, then try very had to do the domestic aspect of it which doesn't cost a dine. Being cocky or proving tough that you are a man and so you can't descend low to help her in other areas, you are giving her room to grow rougher and rougher and when she graduats from such ,honestly you will mean nothing to her in that marriage.

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