₦airaland Forum

Tozara:
I think you don't get it.

Does a lady have the right to tell you "STOP" during sex? I think she does. Would it affect you in some way? Pretty much. And stopping immediately might also be difficult, since you're human after all, and not a robot. Can we say she's being unfair to you? Well, it depends on her REASON.

If the reason is important and has got to do with either her physical or mental well-being, you would try to understand, even though it spoiled the mood for you. You shouldn't care about your pleasure alone. Her well-being is more important.

If she did it just because she can, or for some petty reason without caring about your feelings, then yes, she's unfair, and based on whatever relationship that you two might have, and your expectations towards one another, you would be justified to be angry and find her disgusting. Detesting her for this isn't bad. But remember that even though she's being a bastard, a selfish piece of shiit, it's still her right, since it's her body. So, do you think you actually have the right to continue against her wish because you don't want her to treat you like some shitty toy that she can play around with the way she wants? I don't think so. She's an ashole, yeah, and the best you can do is delete her from your life.

If you lent friend your car to go somewhere, and while he was on his way, enjoying the vehicle, you called and told him to give back your car immediately for no cogent reason than to exercise your power, does he have the right to say "NO"? Of course not. But he would have the right to say call you a disgusting person and delete you from his life.

Dimples129:
NO MEANS NO.

Dimples129:
NO MEANS NO.

MissWrite:
Yes, I agree with you: it's absolutely tantamount to rape. It's the only way to get a hypothetical dick into a straight guy's hypothetical ass. But this is the point: once the dick is in, is it possible to take it out in the midst of his enjoyment when he's asked to remove it? Or would one have to wait it out?




I commend your perspective.



So back to that guy's dick in the straight guy's ass and the justifications you've made for a person who has been given an initial green light: in the moment they're both caught in the same (mechanical) situation. Now in the first instance, I would assume, the guy would be expected to be able to stop immediately his victim wakes up. In the second instance, somehow, he's unable to stop (because he had been given initial consent?). I think that the difficulty to stop would be experienced in both cases. So, I believe that this isn't a question of "can he?" But "should he stop?" in the minds of people who say it's impossible to withdraw consent in this context.


Yes, you're making a solid point when you say that both parties should be comfortable and certain before proceeding. But sometimes a man can read a girl's uncertainty as clear as day, but he's hoping she'll go through with it. He's setting himself up that way. But incidences like the one which inspired this conversation aren't very popular I hope (I don't know): where a girl is into it until she climaxes. That's a rubbish thing to do. Of course we have "users" out there who only need people for their own gratification; tough luck if you end up with one (like guys who don't finish the job on a girl), but it's still no reason to rape someone.

ubunja:
and if a woman has a right to stop sex at any minute then a man also has the right to demand back any gifts and money he gave a woman no questions asked coz its his right.

Tozara:
Lol! Of course. After all, he didn't sign any legal documents when giving out the gifts.

But the same way you can deny that a woman said "STOP" during sex is the same way she can deny that you gave her any gifts. It all boils down to available evidence.

If there's no physical evidence of rape, or a voice-recording, or any other kind of evidence that can prove her allegation against you, then she has no case, since we can't just believe her because she said so. It's very easy for the guy to deny and say she's lying. He's innocent niyen. It's the girl's loss. How can we punish people without evidence? Kolewerk.

If you gave her the gifts out of good will and without keeping records, then you have no evidence to prove that you were the one who gave her the gifts.

If you gave her cash, and she spends it, there's no evidence that you gave her any money.

If you didn't keep the receipts of things you bought for her, or can no longer find them, then nigga forget it o. You've dashed her those things niyen. You won't let it pain you ni.


By the way, the very fact that we have to be talking about these kind of things goes to show just how petty and pathetic the human race is becoming.

naijapips04:
Unfortunately writing good English doesn't translate to been sensible. I've seen your type a lot.

MissWrite:
[/b]



How does this concern me What do you want?

Tozara:
I think you don't get it.

Does a lady have the right to tell you "STOP" during sex? I think she does. Would it affect you in some way? Pretty much. And stopping immediately might also be difficult, since you're human after all, and not a robot. Can we say she's being unfair to you? Well, it depends on her REASON.

If the reason is important and has got to do with either her physical or mental well-being, you would try to understand, even though it spoiled the mood for you. You shouldn't care about your pleasure alone. Her well-being is more important.

If she did it just because she can, or for some petty reason without caring about your feelings, then yes, she's unfair, and based on whatever relationship that you two might have, and your expectations towards one another, you would be justified to be angry and find her disgusting. Detesting her for this isn't bad. But remember that even though she's being a bastard, a selfish piece of shiit, it's still her right, since it's her body. So, do you think you actually have the right to continue against her wish because you don't want her to treat you like some shitty toy that she can play around with the way she wants? I don't think so. She's an ashole, yeah, and the best you can do is delete her from your life.

If you lent a friend your car to go somewhere, and while he was on his way, enjoying the vehicle, you called and told him to give back your car immediately for no cogent reason than to exercise your power, does he have the right to say "NO"? Of course not. But he would have the right to call you a disgusting person and delete you from his life.

naijapips04:
For Nigerian girls No doesn't always mean No. Infact majority of Nigerian girls do not give e outright consent most especially for the first sex .

They feel that resisting increases their worth in the eye of the guy. You don't bring foreign maturity into a Nigerian discussion. Girls have taken me to be weak in the past because I consented to the 'No' bullshitt.

Most Nigerian girls are not as matured and enlightened as you are unfortunately. Trust me, no sensible guy wants to force any girl.

ubunja:
your last paragraph is gold.
so in effect we have reached the age of crimes that cant be proven in court. lols

MissWrite:
Hats off to you.

Dimples129:
Yes. Because all rape shares the same mental process and reasoning. Putting your need before the other person's rights. Knowing the consequences and choosing to deal with them later. It quacks like a duck it's a duck.

Rape is all the same and the reason you don't want to understand it is because you are sympathising with the perpetrator and not the actual victim. His name and future is more important to you than her name and future effects. So... Yes! Throw the book at them...

Faxole:
All rape doesn't share the same process and reasoning. There is a difference between the mental state and intention of someone who forces himself on a woman who refuses to have sex with him, or is unaware of his desires to have sex with her, and the mental state of someone who has already been given access to a woman's pusssy by the woman herself, after a period of reciprocal pre-intimacy, and been allowed to thrust in and out repeatedly for a period of time, and then for some reason, most of which I'll argue has physiological underpinnings, refuses or is unable to pull out his dick when the woman tells him to.

There are certain cases where sensitivity and empathy demands that you put a person's need before your rights. Unless you are some unemphatic psychopath who doesn't care about anyone but herself. The fact that the law gives you rights doesn't mean you should sacrifice your humanity to express it.

The aspect of this argument that just surprises me is your willingness to support the proposition that a man be sent to prison for years, maybe even a lifetime, just because he refused to pull out when commanded by a woman, after the woman has giving him consent and participated in a period of sexual intercourse with him. Also, you aren't nuanced in your argument. You don't seem to care about the circumstances of the situation and you aren't interested in distinguishing between forms of rape & considering that minor forms of rape be treated with minimal legal punishments. All you care about is that a man be sent to jail and his reputation destroyed with the rapist tag, just because he refused your order to pull out when you arbitrarily asked him to.

I'm not sympathizing with the perpetrator. I'm just being objective and empathic - qualities you seem to lack. You aren't even making the same argument Misswrite was making. You are saying that irrespective of the circumstances, irrespective of the reasons underlying the woman's request, irrespective of the timing, any man who refuses to pull out is a rapist operating under the same mindset of men like Bundy & Panzram and should be punished the say way every other violent, sadistic rapist is punished. I find this to be reflective of the thinking of an insensitive person who just hates men and wants to exercise power over them. I mean, if you were a ruler who had the power to issue punitive decrees, based on your argument, you are just going to line up all the men who were reported to have refused to pull out after being ordered by women, irrespective of the circumstances, and send them to prison or to concentration camps in some isolated island so they won't be able to harm women ever again.

Dimples129:
Agreed to disagree. My take is no means no whenever wherever however! I am blessed to enjoy those rights. My daughters will enjoy those rights! Bleep you rapists and rapist sympathisers and those on the fence.

Greystone:
Many people don't understand that rape goes beyond the physical assault.
It's the emotional trauma, the feeling of guilt, the broken morale, the endless
fear every time the incident flashes across the victim's mind.
Rape victims truly suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder- some, for the rest of their lives.
Never again able to enjoy sex even in loving marital relationships.
I can't understand how a person can have pleasure forcing them self on another
and even enjoy watching the pain they are inflicting on someone else.
Mentally deranged sadists.

A person has every right to say "No".
Rape is a crime against humanity.

#death to all rapists

Sagamite:
If a woman is engaging in sexual intercourse with a man and tells him to stop halfway through, if he does not stop it is not rape to me, unless she attempted to push him out and he restrained her.

At that point, your verbals don't mean shyt! You have already consented.

Let her learn that sex is not a game of power you can rely on the courts to help you utilise.

Get your fcking 'NO' right before you are penetrated!

Dimples129:
But the perpetrators feelings need to be TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT apparently

Dimples129:
On top of all your hate and nonsense, you are capable of rape too... if you hate women this much sag.. come out the fucking closet, mate. Go offer your plump asss for drilling. You don't like women, stop lying to yourself. To be able to continue when told to stop; only showcases your character, Weh done sir!

Obviously she objected physically! She didn’t just say stop alone! And even if she did... A decent human being would stop.

Dimples129:
Agreed to disagree. My take is no means no whenever wherever however! I am blessed to enjoy those rights. My daughters will enjoy those rights! Bleep you rapists and rapist sympathisers and those on the fence.

Sagamite:
Fcking brilliantly said and well put, Nigga!

It couldn't be clearer.

Adults are not just people with rights. They have responsibilities and accountabilities. Those 2 things I have repeatedly highlight women desperately desire not (and refuse) to be allocated with. They just want rights and privileges.

Get your fcking 'NO' right before penetration. Even, preferably, well before it even gets close to that stage. It ain't rocket science.

You have responsibilities and accountabilities during the process of legality of mating, not just fcking rights.

It is a very simple logic. Far more logical than "because I am married to him, I contributed half of the wealth he made".

oyb:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?hl=en-GB&v=wse_hgca220&gl=NG

Greystone:
The perpetrator's feelings are irrelevant.
The only feelings that matter is the victim's.

Where I did my NYSC, there was a time I was on call in the hospital I worked and
an 8 year old girl was brought in for examination after being raped by a group of 6 or 7 men.

The girl was literally in shock.

I had to keep a straight face because the professional ethic is to be sympathetic without
being emotional however in my heart, I was weeping for that child.

Until we as a nation reach that point of realisation that there is absolutely no excuse for rape
and put in place and enforce very heavy penalties for all perpetrators of sexual molestation,
this horrible and preventable menace will only continue.

Dimples129:
Thank you. I'm not crazy. We need a zero tolerance mentality and not this 'Grading rape' mentality.

Heavy heart #sighs

Sagamite:
What a profoundly stupid statement.

Lets first ignore the fact that you don't appear to understand the case put forward on the thread, lets go into your stupiid argument that all rapes are the same.

It sounded funky and progressive when your spilled that splish, right?

If rape has no grading then why do courts have different sentences for different rape cases?

Lets start with the statement that "all rapes are wrong and should be punished", so you don't have any idiotic angle to fall back on and distract to after I destroy your moronic argument.

Lets give you two scenarios:

A) If a man gets a knife/gun and drags a woman going by her day into the bush and violently rapes her threatening to kill her if she screams.

Is it the same thing as

B) A woman and a man that agree to go on a date, go out drinking and end up kissing all night. She agrees to go back to his place at 2am, they engage in orall sex on each other and have more drinks while continuing their smooshing and then she is drunk and he (too drunk) has sex with her. Then she says the next day she did not want to have sex and she has been raped?

Let me add another two scenarios for you, Einstein:

C) A 20 year old boy meets a girl who is 17. They start dating, he is aware of her age but despite the fact that age of consent in that country is 18, he has consensual sex with her. Irrespective of consensual, this is still "statutory rape" under the law.

Is it the same thing as

D) A 50 year old man grooms a 13 year old girl online and then has sex with her?

They are the same?

Really?

Apart from comparing the sets of scenarios bi-groupingly, all 4 cases are considered rape under the law, are you saying all 4 are the same? All should have the same punishment? No grading?

Or you were just fcking talking complete fcking nonsense with such impeccable aplomb?

MissWrite:
What do you mean by this? You make it sound like I shocked you with sudden homosexual content in the middle of your wanking session . Anyway, I didn't "bring homosexuality into a straight sex scenario" I'm not talking about a straight sex scenario, I'm talking about a man's ability to stop sex halfway through a bout. Whether his object is a man or a woman should be immaterial unless you're supposing that a man's ability to control himself would depend on what kind of sex he was having.


And please, this isn't a game. It's not about scoring points (with whom, sef?). These are real issues which need to be addressed.