Hi everybody,

My name is Aisha and I’m Somali but my bf of eight months is from Nigeria. He keeps asking me to let him talk to my family and stuff but I’m terrified. I think I love him but.. I don’t know how I should convince my parents. I met his family many times and I feel very guilty about all this. We are both Muslims btw! Does anybody have any experience of a Somali Nigerian marriage?

Thanks in advance!

Any advice? Anything??

he should be worried,not you ,because if there is a marriage problem,you can easily ran to Somali with his children

Before anything, can you let us in on the marriage culture of your tribe? What are the penalties for marrying outside?

I’m not a bad person; I don’t plan to steal my (future) children!

There are no set penalties; we are Muslims. I don’t know how my parents would feel however.

PLEASE HELP ME MY NAIJA FRIENDS; I don’t want to hurt him anymore

Hopefully, you are both a good match. I think that is the most important thing, as long as you both consent to the marriage.

Would it be weird if I asked him to pretend to be Somali Bantu?

I don’t know actually, that may offend him.

Rubber1999:
I’m not a bad person; I don’t plan to steal my (future) children!

There are no set penalties; we are Muslims. I don’t know how my parents would feel however.

I see no reason why you should be scared then, your man should just man up and face your family. His he not the one that desires a beautiful flower for himself?

Rubber1999:
Would it be weird if I asked him to pretend to be Somali Bantu?

yes it will be weird, any relationship based on lies are bound to fail, but do Somalians marry outside there country

Marrying out is rare! I feel like giving up everytime I think about it.

classicMan22:
yes it will be weird, any relationship based on lies are bound to fail, but do Somalians marry outside there country

Are you for real?
You mean they don't?

RuthDaniels:
Are you for real?
You mean they don't?

they hardly marry outside there country,maybe they want to preserved there heritage.

classicMan22:
they hardly marry outside there country, maybe they want to preserved there heritage

Wao! that is deep! never knew until now.

Well maybe Op will be one of the rare cases. I wish her luck.

Rubber1999:
Marrying out is rare! I feel like giving up everytime I think about it.

just quit the relationship, dat will be best 4 the both of u guys.

Rubber1999:
Marrying out is rare! I feel like giving up everytime I think about it.

Exactly why I asked if there is some form of penalties for it... For e.g there is a nigg from your area (a guy) that married a Nigerian lady and till today, has been borderline ousted by his own family...

RuthDaniels:
Wao! that is deep! never knew until now.

Well maybe Op will be one of the rare cases. I wish her luck.

indeed it is, my own opinion they should just end the relationship.that will be best 4 the two of them.

classicMan22:
indeed it is, my own opinion they should just end the relationship.that will be best 4 the two of them.

Not fair

Dimples

Your attention might be needed here

Rubber1999:
Marrying out is rare! I feel like giving up everytime I think about it.

It does happen though, a friend of mine was married to a guy from Zanzibar.

You'll never really know until you run the idea past your peeps. If you don't want to take the risk, try posing the question to them hypothetically.. Y'know steer the conversation marriage, Somalia weddings and kinda like say you wonder how things are if either party isn't Somali.

From that general convo, you might begin to get an idea of their views of intercultural marriages. Try to note possible allies should you decide to ahead and introduce your man. Good luck!

classicMan22:
they hardly marry outside there country,maybe they want to preserved there heritage.

A stupid heritage at that! Talk about birth defects prominent in kids from consanguineous marriages

I told him I’m not confident about my parents accepting him and maybe we should talk.



I feel so baddd; he’s a good person.

Also, I still haven’t decided what to do! I remember when I tried to break it off last time I didn’t have the courage and he was very convincing.

I think the level of education of your parents may also be a deciding factor. Basically I believe if they are reasonably learned they should be able to see beyond this petty excuse for not given their blessings to the marriage .But to a reasonable level is up to you guys to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life together. Remember it's two of you that will stay in the marriage not your parents.Best of luck

You are both Muslims so why would ur parents have any issue accepting him?...na wao. Had he been a Christian then i would understand if ur parents Said no. So naija guys dey try oo. Travelling all the way to Somalia to get a wife.very soon we will see afghan women coming to nairaland for advice on their naija boyfriends. Naija guys i hail una.

We are both in the UK lol!

My parents are quite bright I suppose but they grew up in Somalia when there weren’t any foreigners (apart from Italians and Arabs) so I don’t know.

Rubber1999:
Would it be weird if I asked him to pretend to be Somali Bantu?

So let's assume he plays along with your horrible plan, how long do you expect him to pretend for? And when the secret comes out what will you do?

If you're not proud to present him the way he is to your family, do both yourselves a favour and go live different lives.

One last thing, you're telling me you didn't consider your parents reaction before you started dating? Well consider this a learning opportunity.

Thank you all for your help